I stared at Emma as she stalked out of the bar. What the hell just happened? I had just spent the entire week trying to figure out what to say to her, and apparently I needed at least another month.
I had known Milah wasn't going to last. My gut had been telling me that for months, rearing its ugly head every time I even thought about proposing to her. We'd been together so long, it just seemed like the natural progression. The problem was, I had finally figured out, was that I wanted something else, someone else. I stayed with Milah to keep up pretenses, to avoid doing something really awful, like steal one of my best mates' girl, but I wanted to. God, how I wanted to, since the moment I laid eyes on her.
We had a gig at the Jolly Roger. We'd just made it to Boston and had about a dozen dates lined up. Leaving New York had been a huge decision. If Boston didn't prove more lucrative, our next stop was probably LA. We were trying to get signed, but there was just too much competition in New York. It was about nine o'clock on the evening of our gig, and we were setting up on the stage. The girls weren't helping, per usual, but were instead hitting the bar and mixing it up with some of the locals. They'd all be trashed by night's end, and we'd have to carry them out as well as our gear.
"Ok, if this doesn't work out and we end up in LA, we are not bringing them with us," Joe said. "They're fucking useless anymore."
"At least they aren't useless at fucking," Cam said, waggling his eyebrows at Joe.
Joe just rolled his eyes and left to go back for his amp.
"Seriously, mate?" I said.
"Dude, they're groupies. They've never been anything other than groupies. Sheila doesn't give a shit about me. Do you really think Milah loves you?" The look on Cam's face said he surely doubted it, but I loved her and believed she loved me. I glanced over at where they were all lounging at the bar. They were all dressed in our band t-shirts, tight jeans, and high heels. Our cheerleaders, I supposed. Slutty cheerleaders. I shook myself, trying to clear my head.
I finished setting up and walked over to the bar to get a drink. "Rum, please," I said to the bartender as he came to take my order. I turned back to watch the girls. Sheila was flirting with a couple of guys down on the far end of the bar. Lisa was playing her wingman. Milah had wandered over to a booth where a group of people were nursing beers. I took my drink and walked over to where she was. At least she wasn't hitting on anyone.
"Killian, hey hon, I made some new friends. This is David and Mary Margaret and Emma and Neal," she said, introducing the two couples at the table. "Guys, this is my Killian."
My Killian, she'd said. Well, that was something. "Ah, a string quartet! Are you staying for the show?" I asked. Glancing around at them all. My eyes stuck on Emma. She was so beautiful and so very different from dark Milah. Emma was like the sun, all blonde hair and sea green eyes. She smiled at me, and I felt my chest tighten. What the hell? I could feel my face start to heat. She took a gulp of her beer before glancing over at Neal.
"Yeah, man, we're hanging for the show." It was Neal who spoke. The others all chimed in with various "yeahs" and nods of assent. "Milah here was just telling us how great you guys are. She convinced us to hang around." He smiled up at Milah. I thought I saw a glint of something in his eyes. Milah lightly shoved his shoulder, pushing him into Emma enough that she spilled some of her beer into her lap.
"Neal!" Emma cried out.
"Sorry, babe," he said, not seeming to be sorry. "Here let me help." He grabbed some napkins from the dispenser on the table and started dabbing at her lap rather boisterously. She twitched under his pawing, trying to stop him but seeming to enjoy it all the same.
"Alright, down boy. I think I'll be ok." She gave him a flaming smile, and he nodded towards the back door. "We'll be back in a few," Emma told her friends as Neal dragged her out of the booth and out into the night.
I glanced over at David and Mary Margaret, who looked like the defeated parents of a couple of wayward teens. "Sorry about that," Mary Margaret said. "Neal is a bit of a beast sometimes."
Milah wrapped herself around me. "Oh, I understand," she said, almost purring. "You get your hands on something you want, and it's very difficult to let it go." She reached up and nipped my ear. I reached around her, gripping her around the waist. "We have an hour or so…" she breathed into my ear.
I smiled at David and Mary Margaret. "I suppose Neal isn't the only beast around," I said, as Milah dragged me backstage.
The gig finally started, and we seemed to be a hit. Most of the people were up dancing, including Neal and Emma. I tried not to stare, but watching her move made the heat rush through my body. The next song we sang was a slow one, and Neal pulled her into a tight embrace, one hand on her ass dragging her against him, the other around her back pinning her in. It was nothing if not possessive. She had her arms around his neck, her face buried in his chest. She seemed content and happy, but his eyes were wandering the bar around him. I couldn't imagine having a beautiful woman wrapped around me like that and be anything other than focused on her.
The slow song turned back into more fast paced music, and the night eventually ended. Back at our motel, Milah was unusually amorous, dragging me to the shower to help wash off the smell of cigarette and sweat. She was all over me, begging me to make her come. I barely had an erection.
"What's wrong, baby, you always want a good go in the sack after a gig." She pouted at me, stroking my cock. I closed my eyes, and a vision of Emma swam in front of me. I let Milah play with her toy, but I was thinking about Emma.
"Milah, I'm just tired. Not tonight, ok?" I was not interested. I was, however, interested in a beautiful blonde whose green eyes swan in my mind. I felt myself getting more aroused.
"There's what I want," I heard Milah murmur as she nearly swallowed me whole.
Fuck. This is not what I want. I jerked her up and turned her around. Bending her over in front of me, I roughly slammed into her. Grabbing her hips to keep her steady in the slippery shower, I pounded into her angrily. She tried to pull my hand around to stroke her, but I just grabbed her ass harder. Eventually, she took care of that particular task on her own.
"Oh, God, Killian, faster," she moaned. I was losing control, envisioning blonde hair hanging from the woman in front of me, wishing I were anywhere else. I sped up, wanting to go to bed and get some sleep. Finally she came, her walls sucking at my cock as the wave crashed over her, bringing my own desperate release.
I woke up the next morning with her wrapped around me. My dreams had haunted me most of the night, erotic dreams of Emma in the shower. The lingering heat from the dreams left me hard and ready. I pushed Milah over onto her back, stroking her with my fingers, waking her up, making her ready for me. Her eyes were wide with pleasure as I rammed into her. I pulled her legs around my waist and tilted her hips for better access. I could feel myself hitting her wall again and again, hard. She arched her back up off the bed, gripping the sheets around her as she struggled not to scream and wake the neighbors. She came quickly, and I followed almost immediately. I pulled from her roughly and went to take another shower.
I leaned against the shower wall while hot water sluiced down my body. I was not the kind of man to use a woman. I had pretty much just fucked the woman I was supposed to love. Milah teased me often about being a gentleman. She thought it made me weak. I imagine she enjoyed the roughness. Not that I minded roughness, I just wanted something a little more to go with it. Was it too much to ask for love? I had to get Emma out of my mind. She was just some blonde I met at a bar and would probably never see again.