Hey everyone. thank you all so much for your wonderful reviews. If I could list everyone I would, but I can't so I wont. Also a huge thanks to all who have added my story to their alerts or favourites. It means a lot to me. One last thing, I know you all want me to update as fast as I can, but please understand that some days it's impossible. My two year old daughter refuses to let me spend more then five minutes on the computer so I only get minimal writing time. I should be updating my other stories this week as well. Enjoy !
Bella stepped off the plane and was immediately bombarded with the sweltering heat and high humidity that was Florida. She was thankful that Alice had bought her a pair of sun glasses on their shopping trip the day before, as they were now hiding her puffy red eyes. She didn't want to admit to anyone, least of all herself, that she was already missing Edward. She remembered the amazing shopping trip the day before. Alice had dragged her into shop after shop and even when she protested about the cost of things, she never once managed to pull her purse out. Edward insisted they could afford it and it seemed to momentarily stall the conversation. She had left the purchases in Forks claiming the winter clothing would be too hot to wear in Florida.
She walked across the tarmac and through the doors of the airport and was hit with a blast of cool air. She grinned momentarily as she spotted Renee and perched the designer glasses on the top of her head. Renee's face fell as she took in the site of her upset daughter.
"Oh Bella," she said and hugged her daughter close to her body. Bella felt the tears well up again and she buried her face in her mother's shoulder. Bella sobbed for a few minutes before Renee moved them towards the parking lot.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" Renee asked as Bella finally calmed down. Bella shook her head and pulled her glasses back over her eyes. She climbed into the car and left the airport. Periodically Renee would glance at Bella, who was turned towards the passenger window watching the world travelling by. Renee was beginning to get worried. Bella hadn't said a single word.
"Did he hurt you?" Renee finally asked after more uncomfortable silence. Bella's head whipped around and she pulled her glasses off.
"No mum. He didn't hurt me," Bella replied, shock evident in her soft voice. "Why would you think that?"
"You haven't said a single word since you stepped of the plane," Renee said as they pulled into the driveway of their house.
"What do you want me to say?" Bella snapped. She immediately regretted it and stared at her mother. Renee said nothing as she walked up the path and opened the front door. They were both assaulted with the sounds of a baseball game coming from the living room.
"I'm sorry mum," Bella finally said as she headed for the stairs. "I'm just not ready to talk about it."
She dragged her feet slowly up the stairs and towards her bedroom. It wasn't that she didn't feel ready to talk to her mother. It was more that she didn't want to admit to herself what she felt for Edward.
"This is ridiculous. You've only known him 5 weeks Bella," she mumbled to herself and threw her heavy bag on her bed. She quickly unpacked her bed and threw her dirty laundry in the washing machine. As much as she wanted to avoid her mother she knew she had to talk to her. Walking passed the study, Bella found Renee stretched out on the sofa, a book in her lap and her eyes gazing out the window.
"Mum," Bella said and Renee turned to face her. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"
Renee patted the seat next to her and Bella hesitantly sat down.
"How was your weekend?" Renee asked as if encouraging Bella to explain what was wrong. Bella's eyes lit up.
"It was amazing. Rosalie wore this gorgeous white dress and their entire backyard was decorated. The wedding was romantic and Edward's family was so nice and welcoming. I can't wait to move to Forks," Bella blurted out. Renee's heart sank as she discovered the truth behind Bella's eagerness to move.
"And what did you do yesterday?" Renee continued pretending to ignore Bella's comment about moving.
"Edward and his sister Alice took me shopping in Port Angeles. I left everything with Charlie. It was all winter clothing and not really weather appropriate for Florida," Bella explained, her excitement deflating slightly.
"You wanna explain the silent reception at the airport?"
Bella took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.
"I miss him," Bella whispered, her eyes prickling as she blinked away unwanted tears.
"Charlie?"
Bella shook her head and two tears dropped into her lap, staining her denim skirt.
"Edward," Bella replied finally looking at her mother. Renee stared at her daughter in slight confusion. Bella, frustrated with the visual interrogation, stood up and began to pace the study.
"I don't even know why I miss him. I spent a weekend with him. It's not like I've known him forever. But, oh god, when we were together he made me laugh so much. Just one simple word and i would be smiling for the rest of the day. We had fun just hanging out and listening to music. Mum he makes my heart beat faster, and butterflies erupt in my stomach at just a single thought of him. When I woke up yesterday morning and knew that I would be spending the day with him, my hands got all sweaty and when I finally saw him I couldn't string two words together. But then at the airport I realised I wouldn't be seeing him again for four weeks and that's why I was upset."
Renee's mouth fell open as she continued to watch her daughter wear a hole in the study carpet. She composed herself and once again patted the seat next her. Bella sat.
"Your in love with him," Renee stated simply. Bella glared at her mother for several seconds before bursting into laughter.
"Good one mum," Bella managed to breath out as her laughter continued.
"I'm being serious Bella," Renee replied and Bella's laughter died down. "It's how I felt with Charlie and it's how I feel everyday with Phil. Your in love with Edward."
"I don't know him Mum," Bella tried to reason. "I've chatted to him a handful of times online and I spent two days with him. That's not love, that's friendship."
Renee stayed quiet and watched as her daughter continued to pace. Bella suddenly stopped and turned to Renee.
"A few days ago you were telling me that I didn't know him and you were hesitant in letting me fly across the country for his brother's wedding and now your trying to convince me that I love him. Did something happen over the weekend?" Bella asked, highly suspicious of her mother's change in attitude. A coy smile played on Renee's lips.
"I'm pregnant," she said calmly and Bella's mouth fell open with a soft pop. "Phil and I found out on Saturday."
"Oh my god," Bella said and threw her arms around her mother. "I finally get a sibling. I have to call Edward."
Bella smiled a congratulations at Renee before she ran from the room towards her bedroom.
"You love him," Renee called out and she heard Bella laugh as her bedroom door closed.
The loud nu metal sounds of Linkin Park filtered through the speakers as Esme pushed open the door of her youngest son's bedroom. She wasn't surprised to find him stretched out on his plush black sofa, his head down in a cushion. Since Bella had left, he had been moping, only leaving his room to eat. Edward didn't look up as Esme closed the door but when she turned the volume on his high tech stereo down his head shot up.
"You want to talk about it?" Esme coaxed as she sat on the arm of the sofa. Edward shook his head and dropped it back onto the pillow. "Edward, honey, you have been mopping since Bella left. You skipped school claiming you were sick. What's wrong?"
"I miss her," Edward mumbled and lifted his head to rest his dull green eyes on his mother. He sat up and Esme sat next to him patting his pale hand.
"That's understandable," Esme replied. Edward shook his head.
"I don't miss her like I miss Emmett," Edward tried to explain. "I miss her laugh, her smile, the way she blushed when Alice tried to get her to wear something she normally wouldn't wear. I miss the butterflies in my stomach when she touched my arm."
Esme smiled at her son and his naivety.
"Your in love with her," Esme stated simply. Edward's eyes sparkled with amusement and he shook his head.
"Not a chance mum," Edward said incredulously.
"Why not?" Esme enquired.
"Because I don't know her," Edward answered, a small smile playing at his lips.
"You come home from school and disappear into your room where you spend hours chatting online to her. Then after dinner you spend several more hours on the phone to her while you both do your homework. You hardly left her side all weekend and when you were together both of you had this ridiculously happy smile on your face that I have only seen once before with Emmett and Rosalie. I've been married for 25 years Edward, I know what love is. Your in love with Bella Swan," Esme explained. Edward tried to wrap his mind around her words, but it was almost as if he didn't want to believe them.
"EDWARD, BELLA'S ON THE PHONE," Alice yelled up the stairs. Esme took it as her cue to leave as Edward jumped off his sofa and down the stairs to retrieve the phone from his sister. Esme knew the truth and she hoped that it wouldn't take long for Edward to realise it either.
bellaxxx: You asked why it was called I Don't Trust Myself With Loving You. Well I chose that title because everything is new to Edward and Bella and they don't know how they are supposed to feel. It's like they don't want to trust their hearts to someone else. I hope that makes sense.