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Chapter 9

Sephiroth sat alone in his apartment. He hadn't left it for any great length of time for several days, ever since the doctors dismissed him from Meia's room early in the morning. He was so confused he couldn't even bring himself to undertake his usual relaxation routine; reading a book and drinking wine. He had tried, but his mind just wouldn't let up. It was starting to drive him mad again, and just when he thought he'd got over what ever was effecting him during his Wutai mission.

Curiously though, he did notice something was now different. It was hard to pinpoint, but his mind was in some ways quieter. The shadowy voices that he swore he caught sometimes were dropping in frequency, the nagging itch at the back of his mind dulling until he started to forget it entirely.

No, what he was going through now was different. He was battling his emotions. Emotions that he was quite unfamiliar with.

Several mornings ago…

"There you go sir. Normally I'd recommend you take it easy as you may be slightly anaemic but…as it's you..." The short man trailed off as he finished removing the needle from Sephiroth's arm. The hole stopped bleeding almost instantly.

"Thank you Doctor. I'd like a moment with the patient please"

The short man obliged, tucking his clipboard under his arm and leaving. Sephiroth locked the door after him and turned to face Meia again. Her words, for some reason he couldn't fathom, hurt him last night. He'd sat awake in the dark for a long time trying to figure it out but to no avail.

Emotions had always been troublesome for him. Emotion wasn't needed in combat. You weren't required to care in SOLDIER. Still, he was able to separate his emotions from his rational side. He wasn't devoid of feeling; he just knew that sometimes you had to switch off.

But when emotion WAS needed, sometimes they confused him. He did what he thought was right. He had allowed them to save her life, but she wasn't happy. He knew she was afraid of the procedure, but he couldn't let her die.

Especially when he could have done more to protect her.

This statement had the most profound and curious effect on him, manifesting as a jolt through his stomach that left a sickly feeling in its wake.

He stood beside Meia now, watching her sleep. He felt lost. Why did he care so much what she thought of him? Why did he feel ill when he saw her in the state she was in? He acknowledged he was beginning to feel the same for her as he did for Angeal or Genesis. Except it was different. He had a suspicion why, but that was the most confusing thing of all.

Sephiroth sighed and stepped closer, right to the side of the bed. Meia's colour was a lot better now, her breathing steady and deep. He knew he should leave before she woke but part of him kept him there, watching her, until she began to stir. Silently he left the room before she woke fully, whispering a quite apology as he left.

Sephiroth pushed himself further into the cream leather of his sofa and sank down with a soft sigh, a thumb and forefinger coming up to rub his eyes. He was thankful that he did insist on keeping his privacy. SOLDIERS had enormous appetites, their modified bodies requiring far more fuel than normal members of the public and his living area was currently a mess; Take away boxes from both the company canteen and trusted restaurants that delivered had piled up on his coffee table and breakfast bar, cutting a less than noble impression of the man who lived there.

He was also currently lounging around in an old pair of joggers and a holy, worn t-shirt that was frankly only really fit for using as rags. But he didn't really care. This was his apartment, the only place he could count on total seclusion. No one dared to disturb him here, except via his mobile phone. No one except Genesis and Angeal, but even they knew their limits.

Sephiroth's supplies were running out and his stomach growled at him. He rolled his eyes and sat up again. He didn't often let himself go like this but the thinking had got the better of him. He was hungry again though and had run out of Shin-Ra issue 'boost' bars; dense, high calorie things that compensated for having to pack away a huge meal to get the same effect.

Sephiroth picked up his discarded mobile and clicked through the contact list, pausing when he got to 'Meia'…

Soldier training room 49th floor

"Wow…I knew Shin-Ra had money but I had no idea they could do stuff like this!" Zack Fair proclaimed, flitting through the program list for the training room.

It was after hours now; most of the recruits had retired to their rooms after an exhausting first day. Only Meia had stayed with Zack. It was a good chance to hang around in case the opportunity presented itself to have her bump into a specific someone she didn't quite have the nerve to approach again yet.

"Oh wow! Twin dragon falls? No way!"

Meia looked up as Zack punched a few buttons on the control panel. An artificial voice confirmed the program had been successfully loaded and the training room was ready. The lively country boy grabbed her wrist and dragged her after him into the room.

Twin dragon falls was a natural wonder on the Wutai continent, though Meia had never been there. Neither had Zack, it would seem. He bounded off in front of her as she took in the view. An enormous natural basin had formed over thousands of years by two huge rivers surging over soft rock. They met as they dropped hundreds of feet into the splash pool below, gouging out an impressive lake that eventually ran off into one river again. They stood on one of the banks, spray washing over them as they watched holographic flocks of birds fly by.

"Ah, this is awesome…I've heard of this place but thanks to Shin-Ra I can actually visit!" Zack had come back, seemingly to retrieve her,

"What do you think Meia? You like it?" He asked, flicking his hair away from his eyes.

Meia smiled and nodded. Zack was hopelessly enthusiastic about everything and she figured he was in some sort of overload at the moment. He didn't seem to mind how quiet she was, taking a smile and a nod as a satisfactory answer, and he stood at the edge of the lake now taking in the wonder surrounding them.

Normally she would be talking more, but she was still trying to process the events of the last week. She'd began the week as a Turk and now was ending it as a SOLDIER. Her body still felt strange and she struggled to get used to it. Things that she took for granted like pushing buttons or picking things up needed more thought; she was stronger now and if she wasn't careful, she'd break everything.

Figuring this was normal she tried to think nothing of it. But during another endurance test today, she'd out run all of the other Third classes easily. She hoped this was simply due to the fact she was fit and in good health before her augmentation but still, something niggled away at her.

Then there was the voice. A quiet, barely audible voice that called to her sometimes. She first heard it when she was waking up in hospital. She assumed it was the medication but she swore she heard it again since then. It gave her the creeps,

I'll just have to get used to it. I have no choice, she thought.

Meia felt her leg twitching, but as she put her hand down to feel she realised it was her phone. She couldn't hear it over the falls. She waved her hand at Zack to stop the program as she picked up,

"Hello..?" She called, probably louder than she needed. She watched Zack fiddle with his own phone, trying to figure out how to stop the program remotely. She couldn't hear anything over the falls,

"I'm sorry but…Zack! Hurry up I can't hear a thing!" She yelled, plugging her left ear with her finger to try and make out the caller. The line was silent so she checked to see if they'd given up. The display told her the caller had hung up. Sighing with frustration she clicked through the recent callers list to find out who it was…

Sephiroth tossed his phone aside in frustration. Never before had he remembered being so cowardly. He couldn't face her and he didn't know why. It was driving him mad. He stood up and walked to the glass separating him from a high-rise fall. He watched his reflection as he raked a hand through his hair, dragging it back from his face and holding it up. He felt drained, not physically but mentally. He simply didn't know what to make of his feelings. Sephiroth needed help. He retrieved his phone and dialled the only person he could count on to take him seriously.

20 minutes later

"Thank you Angeal, come in"

The older man stepped through the door and removed his shoes. Sephiroth spotted the paper bag tucked under his arm and noted the delicious aroma now filling his entranceway. Relieving him of the package, he disappeared with it to the kitchen area as Angeal removed his coat and scarf, hanging them on a peg and going to join his friend.

"You really weren't kidding were you? Have you even been to the canteen in the last few days?"

Angeal watched his friend stuff a good heap of noodles in his mouth, having opened the food in record time and not even bothering with the formalities of dinnerware. He laughed and shook his head; the ever graceful, ever composed Sephiroth was no match for his stomach. But he didn't blame him and sat down at the breakfast bar opposite him to join in before it was all devoured.

Angeal had taken the liberty of buying a full spread, knowing exactly what his and Sephiroth's appetites were like. He unpacked the rest of the food, laying it out fast before the doomed box of noodles met its grizzly end,

"You shouldn't do this to yourself you know, you'll upset your metabolism and before you know it, you'll be devouring all manor of evil things like coffee and chocolate" Angeal glanced at the glass coffee table across the room, "I see you're already halfway there…"

Sephiroth forced his current mouthful down his throat,

"I know, I just haven't been able to think straight in the past few days"

"Gaia help us if something really serious happens to you. If you forget the basics like feeding yourself properly, who knows what else you'll be capable of" Angeal stuffed a spring roll in his mouth and wagged his chopsticks at Sephiroth.

The younger man shrugged and fought back a lock of hair that was irritating him. Angeal sighed and slid off his stool. He hunted in the usual spots for a hair tie until he found one and moved behind his friend,

"What would the public and your adoring fans think if they could see you like this" He chuckled softly as he gently gathered Sephiroth's silver hair into a bunch at the back of his head, carefully sweeping back the curtains hanging beside his face.

"Hmpf…they'd think I was human, just like them…" Sephiroth replied bluntly.

Angeal carefully worked the thick mass of silver silk through the hairband several times, before tightening it and letting it fall back into place,

"But you are human Seth. That's what's bothering you, isn't it? If you surrendered to your feelings, you'd been stepping off your pedestal…" Angeal placed his hands on Sephiroth's shoulders and squeezed slightly.

The young SOLDIER paused, another doomed morsel part way to his lips. Angeal had a point. Admitting how he felt towards Meia would mean he'd have to show her who he was. Who he really was. He'd spent so long perfecting his public image; the thought of shattering that barrier frankly scared him a little. And it didn't help that he still couldn't figure out exactly how he DID feel.

Angeal deftly plucked Sephiroth's intended titbit out of the chopsticks and moved back to his stool, earning a scornful look from Sephiroth,

"Hey, you weren't eating it. I need some too you know" And he plunged the ball into a tub of bright, almost pink, sauce. Sephiroth watched it longingly before grabbing another one and consuming it before there was any chance of it being stolen.

They worked their way through more of their 'gourmet' dinner before Angeal spoke again,

"So. Am I just a free meal or was there something else you needed to talk about?"

Sephiroth was in the process of licking plum sauce off his fingers, he'd given up on the fiddly chopsticks. He paused a moment while he cleaned his hands with a lemon wipe,

"Hmmm…"

"Don't give me that. It's her, isn't it?"

Sephiroth nodded. Angeal shook his head,

"Well it seems you've already grasped the concept that your feelings for her are different from your feelings for us…"

Sephiroth nodded firmly, 'Mm-hming' through a full mouth, for he had resumed his ravenous tirade.

"Well Seth, I'm sorry to say this but I'm still not going to help"

"Angeal…" Sephiroth said, half pleading with him.

"No. Listen; yes you're confused but don't you think everyone goes through this at some point in their life? You have to figure this out. You're intelligent, I have faith in you. I will say this though; don't be afraid to show her this side of you. You've done it for us…"

"That's different. I met you two when I was younger, plus you're men" Sephiroth interrupted, his emotional naivety getting the better of him.

"And..? only she needs to see it now, right? What are you worried about? Meia doesn't strike me as superficial or shallow; if you relax, she will relax"

Sephiroth watched him, "Angeal, have you been reading women's magazines again?"

"Where do you think I get all my cooking tips from? You should try it. They are actually very interesting. You might find something for your hair…" His friend said, dead seriously. Sephiroth cracked a smile before laughing, covering his mouth with his hand. Angeal chuckled as well with a shake of his head and they ate the rest of the meal over jovial banter, Sephiroth now feeling much more relaxed. He was surprised how much he valued a good talk with Angeal and how much it helped him. For that, he was very grateful.

Later that night…

Meia jolted awake at the sound of her phone rattling away on her bedside table, eventually tumbling off the edge into a pile of clothing discarded on the floor. It had stopped by the time she'd fished it out, blinking the fuzziness out of her eyes so she could actually check it. It wasn't a call, just a message. She assumed from Zack but when she flipped it open, she smiled,

To: Meia

I hope your first day went well.

If you need anything, just let

Us know. I'll see you soon.

S

Last edit; 07/05/2016