So I split Kurogane into two. o_O Currently out of the country; this I had prepared before I left. :P

Written for clampkink. Warning for self-esteem issues.

Kurogane, Youou, Fai

It has always been the three of them—Kurogane, Youou, Fai.

There is Youou, tall, dark and energetic, nicknamed the Monkey King for his boyish love of climbing trees. There is Kurogane, equally tall and dark, but quiet and dangerous and violent; the 'Black Steel' Kurogane that people know to avoid. Then there is Fai, pale and gangly and fair-haired, a bumbling idiot if there ever was one.

Fai never really knows why the twins picked him up at all, in the first place. One day they weren't there, and the next day they were, chasing away the schoolyard bullies that yank on his hair and call him unlucky. He has always been the weakest link in team sports, the one awkward player that's the last to be chosen and the first to be discarded, the one he wishes he wasn't.

Maybe he gives them something to protect. Kurogane has plenty of strength to go around, and Youou likes having someone littler than him that he can boss about. Between the two of them, the bullies that have plagued Fai fall to the wayside, and he doesn't get teased as much for his funny name and his preference for frill and color. Fai is nothing short of thankful for their presence.

For what it's worth, Fai grows up with the twins by his side. He learns to climb trees and run laps around the school, and though his form never bulks up for all the exercise he does, he gradually learns to keep up with the twins. They grow into puberty, voices breaking, shoulders stretching, bodies changing.

He falls in love with the twins.

Maybe he shouldn't have been relying on them so much, and maybe he should have been spending more time with girls. But the twins are everything he admires, all confidence and strength and calm, things he desperately needs but doesn't have.

Adolescence comes with changes to his body that are vastly inconvenient. Fai learns to lie because he absolutely cannot explain why he gets hard seeing Youou pull his shirt off, or why Kurogane slanting him a look makes all his blood rush south. He makes his excuses, finds ways to hide his reactions to them, learns to be very, very good at lying through his teeth.

They'll probably think him revolting for his attraction, hate him like the schoolyard bullies they've protected him from, and so Fai doesn't draw any attention to himself, or the way he's so fucking girly. He wears his pants loose and his underwear tight, and steers the topic away whenever their conversations skirt it.

(Curiously enough, the twins don't talk about things like romance or love or sex. They don't share that about themselves, but Fai is okay with that, because then he gets to keep his secrets to himself.)

Except he finds them one day, pushed up against the wall in their room, Kurogane's fingers in Youou's belt loops and Youou's hands in Kurogane's hair, kissing deep and slow and sensual.

He can't speak, can't think, but the way the twins grind into each other has him achingly hard in a matter of seconds. His mouth is dry and there's so much he needs and wants, and all he can do is stare.

They realize he's there when they separate to tug at their clothes. Fai's throat works; he can't speak, doesn't know what to say. I thought I'd say hi doesn't cut it at all, and there's not enough blood left in his brain, besides. He shuffles backwards, suddenly afraid of losing their friendship, and his heart squeezes painfully in his chest.

There's no one else in the house when he mumbles an "I didn't see anything," and yanks the bedroom door open. He's already thinking about going home to hide and curl up and cry because why would they want him when they've got each other, when strong arms circle around his shoulders, and he's pulled up against a warm, firm chest.

"We're sorry," Youou says quietly behind him. "We shouldn't have kept it from you."

Fai just feels like crying. It feels like a slap in the face.

Kurogane comes to stand in front of him, red eyes dark and guilty. "Sorry. We tried talking about it a time or two, but you never seemed to want to talk about it."

And all he can think of are the times he's tried to avoid the topic because he was too much of a coward to admit that he's in love with them. It doesn't seem like it's worth mentioning, now.

"We love you, Fai. Youou and I," Kurogane says quietly. And Fai's breath rushes out of his chest so fast that he's dizzy and confused.

They end up sitting down on the couch, all three of them. Fai discovers that they do want to be in a relationship with him. He stutters that he's interested in them, that he really likes them. Somehow, he doesn't faint. They agree not to do anything until they've had time to think about it.

The next time they meet, it's at the twins' house, and Fai has spent the entire week seesawing between glee and debilitating self-doubt and gasping with a hand down his pants.

He tells them he'd like to be in a relationship. They start off with kisses. It doesn't stay at kisses—his body does very well at broadcasting its desire—and they kind of stumble into the bedroom and lock the door, and he's sandwiched between them and kissing and there are big hands on him. They touch his arms and his back and he's writhing and gasping and helpless, because he's never done this before.

Kurogane and Youou strip him between themselves, and Fai thinks he's died and gone to heaven when they press up against him, hard and strong and naked. They take turns kissing him, touching his arms and stomach and everything else, and he's delirious with pleasure and need when they curl their hands around him, ease a finger in him, and stretch.

He comes embarrassingly quickly, when Kurogane's mouth is around him and Youou's fingers are in him. The twins don't mind, though. They kiss to share his taste; he lies limply in bed and sighs when they come to lie on either side of him, slowly caressing his chest and back. When his body finally recovers, they shift their attentions lower, teeth on his nipples and mouth around his cock. Youou returns to stretching him; Fai whimpers and grinds back, and someone claps a hand over his mouth when Youou pushes into him, big and hard and— Fai can't think, can only feel. His cock is heavy and Youou eases him on top of Kurogane, who is slippery with arousal and who has his legs spread open.

Youou teaches him to stretch. Kurogane waits patiently while he fumbles his way in. He's hot and tight, and Fai trembles, hardly able to concentrate when Youou's moving in him. Fai does press into Kurogane eventually. It's a sensory overload; he whines and gasps and jerks, and Youou stops moving so he can adjust. He slides in Kurogane, feels Youou in him, and Kurogane's groans push him over the edge.

Fai ends up in a dazed pile on one half of the twins' bed, watching them fuck each other slowly. They're watching him as they do this though, identical grins on their faces, and he thinks this really isn't so bad, being in a complicated relationship with the twins. They've put up with him thus far, they've shared their secret with him, and they want him.

It doesn't make him feel any better about himself, but it's a start. Fai thinks this might turn out for the better, after all.