Hope you like it. Also, Peeta's POV makes a comeback in this chapter and I wonder if it's a pain or if you guys enjoy that.
Guilt is a tricky bastard. I felt a lot of guilt daily while you lived with us; guilt for thinking about you so much, guilt for not thinking enough about my girlfriend. Guilt for looking at you in a way I shouldn't. Guilt for looking forward to each second spent with you. But all this guilt was nothing compared to how I felt the day I picked up Delly, my girlfriend of three years, at the airport. When I saw her at the gate, when I saw how excited and happy she was to see me. When she threw herself into my waiting arms to steal a kiss, I knew. My heart simply didn't belong to her anymore. It's a terrible moment, when you realise you belong to someone else. Irrevocably.
Another week has gone by too quickly, I realize. I still have a ton to do before I leave for the day, and it's already past four. I curse out loud when I spill coffee on the floor, trying to rush.
I grab a paper towel and kneel on the floor to clean it up, hoping Cato hasn't seen me yet. If he does, he'll alert the whole office and make fun of me, bastard.
I don't want anything to go wrong today because I'm nervous about tomorrow. All the interns are going to receive an oral evaluation to see how we're doing and adjust for the end of the internship. I know I'm doing fine, this report I just finished is great. It's not that. I know being Effie's assistant is actually a good thing, that she would be most likely to hire me out of the three others, mainly because she actually knows my name. I know that from there I could get a real job, and leave the Effie handling to the next unknowing intern. I know that despite my opinion of her antics, she is the model of success.
I gather myself up, crisis averted. I grab the USB drive and all the folders I need to put on Effie's desk and walk to the printer room. My phone vibrates in my pocket for the third time this hour. Gale again. I sigh and answer it this time.
"I can't talk right now," I cut him off.
"You didn't call me back last night," he says accusingly and I know he's right. I went to the movies with Peeta and totally forgot to call him back.
"I'm sorry, but I told you, I don't have time to talk," I repeat as I press print.
"Yeah, right, you never have time to talk to me," the emphasis is really clear and I put the folders on the printer, feeling my temper flare.
"I'm hanging up Gale."
"Well, I'll just tell your voicemail that I'm not coming up this week end," he spits and I freeze.
My angers melts. "What?" I didn't talk to him a lot this week, true, but I thought we'd have the week end to catch up.
"I have a life too, Katniss, is that so hard to believe?"
"You're not coming, why?" I ask, ignoring his venom.
"I could answer that, but you don't have time to talk. Bye."
He hangs up. I look at my cell in disbelief. Did this conversation just happened? I blink. Once. Twice.
Okay, now I can't stop blinking. I realize in horror I can feel tears forming. I'm not going to cry. I do not do crying.
The printer is silent, I press print again, trying to push back what just happened in the back of my mind. It still doesn't print. That fucker.
I notice the blinking. No paper light. Right. Paper.
I fill the tray and close it back shut. The printers comes to life. I stare at the report coming out of the machine. Page one, page two and so on. A week worth of efforts. "What's the point? Why are you trying to impress her? You'll leave Boston after this, it'll never matter." I think angrily. I'm angry at myself. I'm angry that I'm here, chasing windmills while my boyfriend is back home waiting for me. I've just spent the entire week on this, and it doesn't even matter. I take the printed out assignment and rip it, knowing I'm throwing a fit, that I'm being a child. That I'll have to print it again. I won't just quit and go back home. I could, but I don't want to. Not now.
"Not ever," I think begrudgingly.
"Relax, Everdeen, you're just pissed Gale is not coming to visit." I feel like he's giving me an ultimatum. And I hate those with a passion.
In the back of my brain, I have this nagging thought that if the business wasn't in the way, if things were different, I could convince him to try the city life. That maybe he would like it. But I know I'm probably fooling myself. Gale likes uncomplicated things and straight forward choices, nothing the big city has brought me so far. City life is fast paced, new, exciting, confusing at times. I didn't think I had in me to like change, but this one hasn't been so bad. And again, I feel guilty, for not hating it, for enjoying myself so far away from Gale and everything I come from.
Maybe I need a week end away to figure things out, maybe all I need is to go home again to realize how I miss it.
This week end is Peeta's and Delly first full week end together since she came back from France, so I'll basically be the third or fifth wheel, depending on Finn's plans with Annie. It dawns on me I really should go home, see Prim and surprise Gale. Maybe it could make things better between us if I made a real effort. And just like that, I find myself texting Johanna to ask if I can borrow her car to go home for the week end.
I get a text back a second later, she said yes. I pack a bag, excited about surprising Prim, deciding I should leave right now and sleep at home with Prim tonight, and surprise Gale at his parent's house tomorrow morning.
So now here is my dilemma: I can either skip this entire week end because it's a pain to write (just a hint: Katniss and Gale are getting along), or commit to writing it, and take the time to do it right.
What do you think?