Hello again, I ended up compromising between not writing the week end at all and writing all of it, I hope you're happy about it.
Chapter 10 - The experiment
I knew things between you and Gale were less than ideal. Everyone had noticed it. Every time you ignored a call from him or dismissed him quickly, I was happy. Haymitch said to me once you were avoiding the inevitable. When you decided to visit him, I was crushed. I almost thought you wouldn't come back.
I walk eagerly out from work on the next Friday night, going straight for the bar. I've been looking forward to seeing Haymitch tonight because I haven't visited him the last two weeks. I'd spent the entire week end in Yorkville, and my work week had left me no time to spare on evenings. A lot of people were on vacation this time of year, and the other interns and I needed to fill the void.
I owe Johanna forever for letting me borrow her car. She didn't have to say yes, I'm still amazed that I had the guts to ask. But it made a world of difference in my relationship with Gale.
Seeing Prim had dissolved my sulky mood on Friday night. By Saturday morning, I was ready to face Gale. I can still picture vividly the amazement in his eyes when he spotted me on his front porch. He was so surprised, he didn't move. I hugged him tightly for the longest time. When I finally let him go, it was like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders, and he smiled at me. Not a wry smile or a sad one, like I had grown accustomed to this summer. A heartwarming smile, and I returned it in earnest.
We were us again, just like that. We took a long walk in the woods. He opened up to me about how his feelings. Basically, he felt as though I was pushing him away. Maybe I was, but I didn't want to, not anymore. In our hometown, surrounded by familiar things, it was as if all the doubts plaguing my mind for weeks had gone up in smoke.
"Look who decided to finally show up," Haymitch greets me with a teasing smile.
I'm incredibly early. Only a few customers are having supper outside, but the inside is empty. Haymitch is drying and placing glasses, preparing for the night.
"I had a jam packed week," I explain apologetically.
"How was your road trip?" He asks me and I tell him. I start with Prim, how much she likes her job, how good she is at it. I tell him how good it was between me and Gale. It really was, even I am surprised at how much. Johanna even chimes in, raising her head from the stack of bills she's been dealing with since I arrived, saying I don't look sexually frustrated anymore. I blush deep red, confirming her theory. She giggles, taking pleasure in my embarrassment.
I think Haymitch will tease me too, but he just frowns. He looks at me weirdly, and I feel like he's about to say something, but he just stares. Haymitch never thinks twice about what he says. He just says it. It's making me nervous. When he finally shrugs and drops his gaze, I shake the awkwardness off and start talking about something else.
His eyes get serious again as I feel someone sit beside me. It's Peeta. He's alone.
"Hey guys," he greets us.
I smile happily at him. I thought he would be with Delly. He tells me all about his day. Finn and Annie join us. I want to have fun tonight. We talk, drink, and play cards. Then, when people start to show and the music starts, I finally agree to dance with Finn, and he almost squeals. Everyone laughs, Annie acts falsely jealous, to make Finn even happier. He loves the attention. Peeta asks her to dance, and we all end up on the floor laughing and having fun together. I feel light and content.
I end up dancing with Peeta as Annie and Finn start to dance a little more provocatively.
I lean into his ear to talk: "I bet you ten bucks that they are out of here in less than ten minutes."
They got that look, when they are close to raping each other's mouth.
He chuckles softly and leans into my ear. "I'm not taking that bet."
I pout in false disappointment then crack a smile too. About a minute later, he grabs my sides and turns me around, pointing to Finn and Annie, in full blown PDA. I start laughing hard, I'm a little drunk I realize, and fall backward into him, losing my balance. Peeta catches me and steadies me. My mouth is dry, I need water.
I signal to Peeta that I'll be back in a minute, and leave the dance floor.
I grab a bottle of water directly behind the bar and crash on the stool next to Haymitch. He looks serious again.
"Haymitch, why so sullen, we're having fun, why don't you come and dance with me a bit?" I talk in his ear.
"I'm not sure Peeta would like that," he answers matter-of-factly.
"What?" I ask him, taking another gulp of water.
His face grows somber, and he leans towards me in a secretive manner, whispering in my ear: "Be careful, sweetheart, it's obvious to everyone but you this boy is hopelessly in love with you."
I must have heard him wrong. "What did you say?"
"You heard me," he winks at me knowingly.
"You're imagining things," I protest angrily.
He shrugs. "Whatever you believe, after what you told me earlier, I thought you needed to know. Katniss, if you're not careful, you'll break his heart."
I sit at the stool, in shock. Why would Haymitch say that?
It's true, it's easy to forget Peeta has a girlfriend. Peeta barely talks about Delly, not around me anyway. And he is here dancing with me – not with her– even if she's back from Paris. But that doesn't mean he's in love with me. I play nervously with my braid. I can't believe it could be true. We have such a great, easy friendship, Peeta and I. If he loves me, I'll lose him. I have nothing to give him. I'm with Gale. True, our relationship is far from perfect, but if I don't want marriage and kids with Gale, I won't want them with anybody. No, Peeta knows better than to be into me.
But the doubt is plaguing my mind, growing as the night goes by. I break my promise to Gale and drink a bit too heavily, trying to forget all about it. I almost succeed at first, with the alcohol and the music. Peeta does stay at my side all night, and he does look at me with some sort of fondness. I try to act normal, but I can't.
When we decide to go back home and he put his arm around me to help me walk straight, like he always does when I'm tipsy, I wonder if he's doing it to help me or because he wants to touch me. I don't like this kind of ambiguous situations. I decide I'm going to have to get to the bottom of this. I can't form the words though, what can I say? Hi, Haymitch said you love me, what do you have to say about that? How embarrassing if it's not true, and how dreadful if it is.
We eventually get home. I lean on the wall while he fumbles with his keys to open the door. I bite my lips, looking at him from the corner of my eyes. The craziest idea comes over me. I know how I'll figure out if Peeta loves me; I'll just kiss him and see what he does. I'm drunk, I acted even drunker, and he's buzzed too. I'll just act like I don't remember it in the morning. Either way, he'll never bring it up. Fuck talking; I can get the truth without him even knowing that I'm unto him. My brain is foggy, so this actually sounds like the perfect plan.
He puts his hands on my shoulders and guides me inside. I turn around when we are inside, looking into his eyes. I'm already pressed up against him, and his lips look so kissable. Yes, I'm going to do it.
He's talking about some joke Johanna said, I'm not paying attention, I'm weirdly mesmerized by his features. He looks so happy. His blond hair is tousled and his cheeks are red from the alcohol.
His chuckles die in his throat when he meets my stare. Before I can think this through, I close down the distance between us and press my lips to Peeta's. They're soft and warm. His body tenses up. He doesn't kiss me back, doesn't put his arms around me. I linger for a second, waiting for an answer to my question. When he still doesn't move, I'm confident Haymitch was talking crazy and pull back, acting like nothing happened. He just looks confused. Peeta doesn't love me, it's settled then.
"Thanks for tonight, Peeta, sweet dreams," I yawn before retreating into my bedroom.
There's an unpleasant ringing in my ears and my heart is beating rapidly. I put my hand to my lips and it stings a little.
I hope you guys liked this chapter. Please review. Elmo13