Hey guys!

When you pecked me on the mouth that night, I was frozen in place. You were drunk, you didn't know what you were doing. And I still had a girlfriend. But for the most fleeting moment, I saw something pass in your eyes, and it made me hope. Hope that maybe you could see me as more than a friend. That hope would soon grow like a fire in my heart, and burn everything in its path. Until there was nothing left.

I wake up with the most horrible headache. It takes me a minute to recall the events of last night, and I my eyes open wide when I remember the last details. Fuck. I got drunk and stupid again last night, damn that Haymitch! I embarrassed myself with Peeta.

"Good thing I already decided to act as if I don't remember."

Suddenly feeling like I'm going to throw up, I rush into the bathroom and sprinkle some cold water on my face. The nausea subsides. I look at myself in the mirror. I'm all red. I re-braid my hair, and wash my face thoroughly. I need to calm down. If there is damage control to be done, I better be ready for it.

I decide to take a shower, thinking that'll give me some time to gather my thoughts.

When I finally find the nerve to erupt from the bathroom, I immediately scan the room for signs of Peeta, and spots him at his usual spot by the oven, checking on something.

Annie greets me from the couch, still in her pyjamas.

He looks normal as he hands me a cup of coffee. I reach for it with gratitude, thinking I need the caffeine.

"Are you feeling okay?" He asks and I look up to him, alarmed.

"Yeah, why?" Smooth, that was almost a squeal, I wince at myself.

"Just wondering, you seemed pretty drunk last night," his tone stays steady, and I'm so envious of his poker face right now.

I'm so embarrassed. He clearly means: you acted like a fool last night, do you remember?

I try to summon my best nonchalant voice and say: "Yeah, I really was, my head hurts like hell."

I know better than to say I don't remember what happened, because when people say that, it's clear that they remember there was something to not remember. So, I don't. Does that even make sense? Arghh.

I drink my coffee, acting as normal as possible. He gives me a sideway glance, seemingly hesitating about something, but then he shakes his head and starts cleaning up. I feel like I'm in the clear. I can finally breathe. If he didn't bring it up now, I'm pretty sure he never will.

I rise and go sit beside Annie. It's already pretty late in the afternoon, I can't believe I slept for so long. I don't even remember sleeping in this late when I was a teenager. Peeta is real quiet gathering things around, I guess he has a job tonight. I avoid his eyes at all cost. They bare me. I end up watching a movie with Annie, uninclined to move an inch from the couch.

I'm puzzled when I see him get out of his room in a fancy shirt, tie and black pants. It doesn't look like his usual work attire. I'm curious about what kind of job this is. Annie beats me to the punch,

"Big night tonight, Peeta?" She asks.

"I'm meeting Delly real soon, she bought us tickets to a fancy play," he explains the outfit, grabbing his coat and waving us goodbye.

The door closes behind him. Annie turns to me, her voice suddenly vibrating with excitement.

"Oh, I think this is it, I think I saw him putting it in his pocket."

I have no idea what she's talking about.

"Putting what in his pocket? I ask, my eyebrows raised in question.

"Delly's engagement ring, I helped Peeta pick it out," she proudly states.

My mind goes blank.

She adds: "He must be proposing tonight. He hasn't showed it to you?"

I shake my head "no", unable to speak. Peeta. Ring. Engagement. I suddenly find it hard to breathe in here. My heart sinks so far in my chest it's like my ribcage is hollow.

"Tonight?" I croak.

"Why all the mystery otherwise? He's been acting weird all day." She observes, clearly happy with herself for figuring it out.

An icy feeling creeps around my heart like a vise. Peeta's not in love with me. Peeta's in love with Delly. He's proposing to her; tonight. I shouldn't be surprised. Haymitch is a drunk anyway. I already established he didn't know what he was talking about. He put all this nonsense in my head, and I started to believe it, and... oh.

I kissed Peeta. Okay, I was drunk and it was just a second, but I kissed Peeta. Yesterday it didn't seem like a big deal, but now I'm aware of how inappropriate it was. I'm mortified. I kissed a guy of the eve of his engagement to another girl. How awful. Now, I'm definitely going to throw up.

After the inevitable happens, twice, I take another quick shower and brush my teeth like my gums are the ones responsible for my bad decision making. Anger is slowly replacing the humiliation running in my veins, and I know just the guy to take if off on. I get up and change quickly, deciding I'm going to kill Haymitch. I make up some lie about having to meet someone from work and ungracefully excuse myself to Annie.

I get to the bar as fast as possible and Johanna lets me in upstairs, but not before making me promise to explain on my way out. I guess I look pretty murderous. I storm into Haymitch's bedroom, not surprised to see him passed out on his bed with one shoe still on.

I don't beat around the bush, I basically shake him awake and start screaming: "Why did you say that to me? You fucked with my head, Haymitch."

"What?" He asks groggily and I put myself right above his face.

"Remember yesterday, when you said that Peeta is in love with me?" I ask, my voice thick with sarcasm.

He grunts and sits down, kicking the remaining shoe off and running his hand over his face. "Someone had to tell you," he sighs unrepentantly.

He gets up and starts walking towards the bathroom, I follow him, still yelling. "Well the thing is, you're wrong, he's proposing to Delly right now and I'm the fucking idiot who kissed him last night!"

He briskly turns to me at that sentence, suddenly looking awake. I bring my hand to my mouth, shocked that I let it slip, I promised myself not to bring it up.

"You kissed him?" He asks, is voice half reproachful, half… proud?

"Well, no, not really." Haymitch gives me a "cut the crap" look. "I more or less drunkenly stumbled onto his mouth, for just a second," I backpedal.

"That's quite a euphemism, if I ever heard one," he chuckles and I give him a death stare.

"Shut up, Haymitch! You made a damn fool of me. He didn't even respond, and now he's out proposing to Delly and I feel like the shittiest person on the planet for listening to you."

"Is all this really about me, or about the fact that you think Peeta is getting engaged?" He asks as he passes a wet towel on his face. "Something, by the way, I can guarantee you is not happening."

I think about what he said, I don't know what he means about the first part, but I'm pretty curious about the second one.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because Peeta is a lot of thing, but he's not a liar, and he could never ask a girl to marry him while he loved another. Mark my words."

I stare at him in disbelief, not comprehending that he still stands by his theory. Haven't I been clear that he was dead wrong?

"You're wrong about this," I insist.

My phone starts ringing, it's Gale. I sigh, not prepared to deal with him right now. I answer anyway, not wanting him to call Finn, or even worse Peeta, on me. "I can't talk right now, I'm at Haymitch's." I don't wait for his answer before hanging up. He'll be pissed.

I don't feel angry at Haymitch anymore, I feel empty. I feel angry at myself for getting drunk and stupid in the first place. I feel guilty about my behavior. I should've known better. With a sigh, I turn on my heels and go back downstairs. I cowardly wait for Johanna to be busy before I make a stealthy exit. I don't feel like talking to her, I don't feel like talking to anyone. Peeta is out there getting engaged right now, and I'm just a stupid, stupid girl.

I look at my phone. No missed alerts. I was expecting an angry message from Gale but there is none. I go home and eat, sort of. Annie left while I was out and I'm grateful for it. I'm in no mood to chat.

I calm myself down, forcing myself to call Gale back. No answer.

The last week has been so hectic, I haven't been there for my boyfriend at all. Just like me to ruin all the progress we made last week end in only twenty four hours. I hate that. I love him, I don't want to —drunk or not drunk— try to kiss other guys to see if they love me. I let out a dark chuckle, it all sound so ridiculous. Tomorrow will be a new day, and I'll be a new Katniss. Well, the old Katniss. Watch me.

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Elmo13