When I got out of the shower, I felt a lot better. Clean body, clean hair, clean clothes, I was ready to begin a different day. As I walked by the guest room, I could see that the door was opened, and realized that Jake was probably down stairs. I could smell coffee, and knew that Emil had been true to his word. Even though I did not especially like coffee, I kept a nice coffee pot and fresh coffee on hand. My friend Annie loved coffee, as did my sister.

As I neared the kitchen I could hear the voices. I couldn't hear all of what they were saying, but it was clear to me that Jake was opening up a bit about what had happened the night before. Jake had known Emil for years, so it made sense to me that he would talk to Emil. They had a good rapport, and at age 17, Jake probably found it easier to talk with Emil, or myself, over his parents.

To give them a bit more privacy, I did not walk into the kitchen, instead I walked toward the foyer, thinking to turn on the porch light. If their plane had landed on time, I figured my sister and her husband would be to the house soon. Sure enough, I could see a cab out front. My sister was on her way up the front steps while my brother-n-law paid the cab driver. They did not have any luggage with them, I was fairly positive their luggage had stayed in California.

I opened the door and let my sister inside.

"Jake is in the kitchen." I said, and she kissed me quickly and slid right by me. My brother-n-law was close behind her.

I shut and locked the door behind them and walked toward the kitchen, where my sister was now hugging her tall, teen-aged son, who was looking very happy to be with his mom and dad. I thought about the strange age of 17, where sometimes parents were the last people they wanted to see, and other times parents were the most important people. I thought about last night, how every single kid there had been very happy to see their parents.

"Laura, Bruce." Emil smiled, standing, saying hello to my sister and her husband.

"Emil." Laura said, and if she was surprised to see him standing in my kitchen so early in the morning, she did not show it.

"Can we go home?" Jake asked. He had only slept a few hours, and I felt fairly certain he simply wanted to go home to his bed.

"Yes, yes, we can go home." Laura said, still holding onto Jake. I placed my car keys in my brother-n-laws hand. I had anticipated that they would want to go home and huddle like a family in their house. I knew my sister would call me later in the day, especially after Jake confided in them more details about what had happened.

Laura let go of Jake long enough to hug me tight. Thank you, she whispered into my ear, and I nodded. When she released me, Jake squeezed the breath out of me, hugging me as well. Then to my surprise, and my sister's surprise, Jake hugged Emil and said something about how great it was to see him. It occurred to me, among all the chaos, that Laura would likely be calling me about Emil as well.

I followed them to the front door, let them go. I stood listening to Bruce start my car, and I watched them pull away from the curb. Emil walked up behind me, placing his arms around me, kissing me lightly on the neck. He let me go as I turned to face him.

"I know this is a bad time, and I know we won't talk about this now, but I have to say it." He said, his tone serious, earnest. My brain thought of all the things he might say to me. I wondered how much he knew about last night. I wondered who he had spoken with in NYPD. Did he know that I had been at a restaurant with Bobby Goren when I had received the call from Jake? I still wondered if he knew that I had served as the pscyh evaluator as part of Bobby's disciplinary action. I wondered what he was about to say to me.

"I want to see you again. Only you. And, I only want you to see me." He said, nearly knocking me down with surprise.

I could barely believe his words. I knew that he had been in Connecticut when he received my voice mail, I knew who he was seeing in Connecticut, and it was not only me. But I wasn't about to take that up with him, when he was taking anything up with me. That could wait.

"You need to get some sleep." He said, and kissed me on my temple. "I will call you later today." He said, and grabbed his coat off the foyer bench.

"Promise me." He said, looking at me. Promise him what, I was thinking. Promise him that I will see only him? My voice was caught in my chest. I loved him, I was in love with him, but I was so very tired of the constant push and pull with him. So, I had this connection with someone else, an undefined connection, but something all the same. And, suddenly here Emil was saying what I had wanted him to say to me a few months ago. And, here I was unable to speak.

"Promise me you will get some sleep." He said, causing my random thoughts to stop a bit. I nodded, I could promise him that. I was exhausted. I locked the door behind him, and I watched him go down my front walk and get into his car.

I was in the kitchen putting the two coffee cups into the sink, turning off the coffee pot, when there was a knock at my door. I wondered if Emil had forgotten something, or maybe Laura had. I was surprised to see the large outline of Bobby Goren standing on my doorstep. I didn't even know he knew where I lived. As I walked to my front door, I smiled over my silliness. He was a NYPD detective, easy enough to figure out where I lived.

"Bobby." I said, as I opened the door. I could see a large, dark, square car near the curb, engine running, what I thought to be Detective Mike Logan at the wheel.

"Hi, I, uh." Bobby started to say, looking at me. "I just, um." He started to say again, standing awkwardly in my doorway. I thought for a moment that he looked as if he wanted to touch me, to make a connection with me.

"We've caught a case." He gestured to the car where Detective Logan was waiting.

"Can I call you, later?" He asked. I was nodding, not sure my voice would work.

"You're OK." Bobby asked, or actually stated, more like an observation. Again, I was nodding.

"Good, that's good." He said, "that you're OK." He said.

"And Jake, Jake's OK." He said. Again, I nodded.

"I'll call you." He said, still looking at me. Again I could feel that something between us, undefined. I watched him return to the car with Detective Logan. And, for what felt like the millionth time this morning, I closed my front door, throwing the locks. I could feel it, the emotions inside me, the thoughts in my mind, push pull, push pull. Where was this going to take me? Or maybe, I tried to correct myself, where should I take this?

A/N: I don't know why - chapter "13" is always daunting to me. So, this is "14-1". Chapter 13 tends to be the point where I wonder if I should keep posting... what do you think, are you invested enough to read more?