"And that," said Kristoff, "is the absolute true story of the first time Elsa asked out Anna." The wedding guests laughed and applauded as he thumbed the remote for the video projector, bringing up a picture of Elsa and Anna at the prom. In the picture Elsa looked proud, if a little reserved, while Anna was hanging off her arm and flashing a blindingly bright grin.
"As you can see there, she didn't wear a suit that day. And as you can see here," he said, reaching an arm towards the happy couple, "they both wore suits today to make up for it." Elsa and Anna both looked dashingly beautiful in their creamy white satin tuxedos. "But white? Seriously? You're not fooling anyone." He shook his head in mock dismay and shrugged helplessly, his shoulders straining at his too-tight rental tux.
"Just to be on the safe side, to make sure she didn't miss anything, Elsa made a list for marrying Anna. I think she covered most of the important stuff." He pressed the remote and brought up a page filled with a three-column list, packed with items in small print. "Oh wait. That's page two." He waited for the laugh, then pressed the remote again. "This is page one." The screen showed another page like the one before, except that the first item was in headline-size print, stretching across all three columns. It said, "PROPOSE TO ANNA". There was a large, enthusiastic check mark beside it.
"Now some of you may be wondering how I knew exactly what they said in that conversation. Well, I have a little secret. It happens that Anna was recording that video chat, and she kept the file. For sentimental reasons." Anna grinned, guilty but delighted, as Elsa glared at her, swatted her on the arm, then kissed her cheek. "Now some of you may want to see that video. Do you want to see that video?" He held up the remote teasingly.
The crowd roared their assent as Elsa yelled "NO", trying to rise out of her chair to stop Kristoff. Anna hauled on her arm and pulled her back into her chair.
Kristoff pressed the button, and "FILE NOT FOUND" appeared on the screen, to the sound of groans from the guests and "Thank god!" from Elsa.
"Anna did provide me with a transcript," said Kristoff, "but the file does not leave her posession. It will never be on the internet, it will never be stored in the cloud, and even the tiniest part of it will never, ever be released to the public." Elsa sagged with relief back in her chair.
"…except-for-this-screen-shot" blurted Kristoff, mashing the button and filling the screen with a freeze frame of Elsa's face right before she had said "Oops," looking utterly shocked, embarassed, and devastated. Elsa buried her face in her hands, and Anna put a comforting arm around her. Elsa peeked through her fingers at the screen and covered her face again, freshly mortified.
"Aw, come on," cajoled Kristoff. "Look at that face. Who couldn't fall in love with an adorkable face like that. Am I right?" The wedding guests cheered their agreement. "Well, Anna sure couldn't, and that's why we're here today." To Elsa's relief he pressed the button, bringing up a selfie of Elsa and Anna from the morning after the prom. They were standing in front of the b&b, looking beautiful, dissheveled, and very very happy. "And, in confidence – " He turned to Elsa for a moment. "Sorry, Elsa." He faced the guests again. "Elsa told me that was the moment she knew she wanted to marry Anna and live with her and love her for the rest of her life." Elsa sighed, and gave Anna a loving kiss.
Kristoff cleared his throat. "And this is the moment when Anna knew she wanted to marry Elsa and love her for the rest of her life." He brought up the screenshot of Elsa again.
"I'm sorry, Elsa," he said, trying and utterly failing to stop himself laughing, tears in his eyes, along with everyone else at the reception (with one white-haired exception). "But I had to. I'm sorry, I just had to." He switched to the selfie again, and paused to get his breath back. "Besides, it's true. Anna told me so. That is the moment when she knew for sure she loved you." Elsa looked inquiringly at Anna and she nodded back. They touched foreheads. "Now I know this speech has gone on twice as long as it should've, but since I'm Best Man to both of them I think I'm entitled. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the happy couple!" And to the ringing of dozens of glasses being tapped with cutlery, the bride kissed the bride.