Disclaimer: All characters, settings and anything else recognizable from Harry Potter belong to JK Rowling, and we make no claim on her ideas.
51. Moaning Myrtle
It's all shades of grey now.
I miss the colors you know, its about the only thing I miss about being human. The greens, and the reds, and the blues, and the yellows .
Green was always horrible though, it reminded me to much of them. Those girls who made fun of every move I made, all the rumors and lies, how they snickered behind their hands...
No, green was never that great of a color anyway.
And blue, well blue wasn't anything special either now that I think about it. Sort of like me really. It just reminded me of how pathetic I was. Every time I failed, every time I set myself up for a fall... I was always drowning in the blue blue blue of a ocean I couldn't swim in. With waves of self hate and whirlpools of doubt that brought me deeper and deeper down...
Blue wasn't good either.
Red. Red was rage. Red was blood. Red was my blood, boiling in my veins as day after day, name after name, prank after prank, I'm was made the bud of their jokes. It wasn't right, it wasn't fair, why was it ME? Why not some other lonely girl with big glasses and ugly hair? And then I grow mad at myself, why did I always have to act so WEAK! Why couldn't I just stand up for myself, instead of running to the bathroom and crying my eyes out like a little baby?
Red was ruined for me.
But yellow was always nice. Soft, sweet yellow, like sunshine and children laughing. But then again, when I was a child most kids were laughing at me. I was always the joke, the punch line. Being laughed at instead of being laughed with. Yellow reminds me of all the good things that could have been but weren't. All the joyful times I should have had but didn't.
And yellow reminds me of the eyes.
The eyes that simply glowed with the sort of light the made flames look dull. They bore down into every bit of me, my brain, my heart, my soul. And then I wasn't me anymore.
I wasn't just Myrtle, or Myrtle the baby, or Myrtle the little Mudblood geek.
And it scared me.
So I stayed, and its all grey now. The taunting words are still there, its just done by new faces. I still react the same as before, by crying and whining, and moaning on... but its all I do. There's no more emotion, the feelings are muted and it's like I'm watching my death-life through the lenses of glasses that don't really work. It's just dull.
And dull is the color of grey... the color I'll forever stay.
My rainbows of colorful pain are gone.
By TrueQueenOfChaos