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Chapter 6-

I stare at Amanda. She is Al's sister; Al who threw himself off into the Chasm; Al, who Eric called "brave."; AL the coward; Al my kidnapper. I get a sickening feeling in my stomach. I lean heavily on Four.

I look up at his face and see his lips pursed. Quiet is dangerous with Tobias. Silence Is deadly.

"Yes. I knew Al." I say, my voice firm, my voice quiet. She looks at me.

"How do you know him?" She asks. Poor girl; she doesn't know of Al's death.

"He was in my initiate class." I tell her.

"Was?" She asks, confusion swimming in her eyes.

"Al threw himself into the Chasm last year, after kidnapping me." I tell Amanda. Her eyes form tears.

"Wh-What!?" She stutters.

"Al. Is. Dead." I say plainly.

"Oh." Amanda stares into my eyes and asks, "Did you kill him?" I satre at her. Her eyes are Candor. They are trained to find lies.

"Get back to training Candor." Says Four coldly.

She stares at Four, then attempts to throw the knives again.

I turn away.

"Thanks." I mouth to Tobias. He smiles grimly, probably remembering the time of Al's death. I shudder, and hold Tobias close.

"Break up the gooey love stuff," Says Eric, disgusted. I am about to say something nasty to him, but Tobias steps in.

"Can we move on?" He says tiredly. I nod and let it go, but I still want to hold on to Tobias. Being reminded of Al is like trying to swallow a giant rock. It is lodged in my throat, and it will not come out. I will choke.

~000~

During dinner, I watch Amanda. She is sad. I can tell from her posture; her shoulders slump, her head hangs low. She does not sit with her friends.

I hold Tobias' hand during dinner. While we eat, he rolls his thumb in soothing circles over my knuckles. When we reach dessert, I look over at Amanda and realize she does not have any cake.

The Abnegation in me wants to give her cake, but Dauntless me wants to leave her alone, let her get her own cake. The Abnegation Tris would soothe Amanda. The Dauntless Tris would break her heart, as she did in the knife room. Why do I have to be Divergent!?

"I'll be right back," I tell Tobias, watching Amanda. Tobias nods his head and talks to Zeke and Lauren about fighting techniques. I grab cake and walk over to Amanda.

"Hey," I say, sitting down, "you okay?" She doesn't look at me but nods yes.

"No, you're not," I say frowning. I can't have any suicidal initiates.

Amanda wipes her eyes, and I realize she has been crying; her eyes are puffy, her hair is messy. Her makeup was put on so sloppily that she looks like a drowned raccoon.

"I-," She starts. She starts to sniff and cry a little. "I-I-I ju-just can't, can't…Why d-did he k-k-kill himself?" She sniffs and sobs and tears run down her bright pink cheeks.

"Because I never forgave him." That is what I want to say, but I do not.

"I don't know," I say. Amanda looks at me.

"You're lying." Damn it. I thought I could get away…

I look down.

"Al killed himself because he kidnapped me. He almost threw me into the chasm. He committed suicide because I wouldn't forgive him," I finisih, looking Amanda straight in her purple blue eye.

"Oh…" Amanda says.

"I am going to my bunk room…" She trails off her sentence.

"Okay. Be in the training room by 8 tomorrow." She nods, picks up the cake, and stands.

"See ya later Six," She says. I smile and she leaves.

I go sit by Four.

"You need to watch her," he whispers in my ear. I nod. She seems depressed. That is not good.

The next morning, when I see the initiates, Amanda sticks out. Her light brown hair is now ink black, her eyes a startling red. Her ear is now pierced in 5 places instead of 2. Her right arm now has a tattoo. It says "Al is my hero" .

I show the initiates simple kicks and punches against the air, then against the punching bag. I watch the transfers copy me, and watch them hit the bags. I hear a steady thump, thump, thump, as they hit the bags. It is soothing. I hear teasing and smile. They are starting to sound like the Dauntless to.

One boy sticks out at me. He was the second jumper; from Erudite. He has shaggy blonde hair and chocolate Dauntless cake eyes. He reminds me of Peter. I do not like Peter.

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