A/N: See Disclaimer in Chapter 1.
Chapter 3: Raise
"Gina," Rick greets genially, rising from his seat at the table. He holds out her chair, seating her before taking a seat himself.
"Rick," Gina looks at him with genuine concern in her eyes, and reaching across the table, places her hand on his. "How're you doing?"
"Actually?"
Gina nods.
"As well as I can be," Rick replies, his face darkening. "I don't know...you know how Meredith and I were. Never a kind word between the two of us. I thought once she left our lives once and for all, I'd feel...released." He shrugs. "Instead, all I feel is that I've wasted these past three years of my life." He swirls his glass of wine, deep in thought. "And…Alexis cries herself to sleep every night, except on the days I go out with her and then she's too exhausted to do anything but sleep. But then, I'm exhausted too, and, well, you know how it is." Gina had just recently divorced her husband, and he had been one of those few who had been allowed in to pick up the pieces.
Gina squeezes his hand. "You know, it's all right to take a break..."
Rick shakes his head. "No, I need to get back into the thick of things. Or else I'll just lose myself and I'll never get back on my feet." It is only then that Gina sees how tired her friend is, his eyes almost haunted.
"Rick..."
"Gina," he retorts, inordinately short with her. Reaching down, he lifts a large stack of paper. "Here you go, Hell."
"It's quite apt a name," Gina observes, trying to make Rick smile. "I'll take a look and get back to you. But if all goes well, it should be on the shelves fairly soon."
Rick shrugs. "It's not my best work, I have to say. Meredith took a toll on my writing far more than I care to admit."
"I was thinking to myself, I need something fun again. Something that won't drain me like the others have. And, here's my idea..."
Gina gives up on trying to cheer Rick up; it seems as if he's doing it all on his own, in this moment. The passion for his books in his eyes as he describes his latest idea over a meal of steak and wine is enough to awake the feelings that she has for him.
She realizes he has paused, for her thoughts. Gathering them, she said, just short of awkwardly, "I like it."
And that was the only thing he needed to hear, for, the next moment, his face broke into a large grin, one of which the likes of hadn't been seen since she had told him that Black Pawn had agreed to publish his first book.
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They're both hurting, from people who care more about their careers than them, Rick thinks to himself as he gazes down at Gina, who is asleep on him in his bed. And he does hold a certain fondness for her, though he isn't sure he can call it love. He isn't sure if he can ever love again.
His mother doesn't approve. "Richard...do what you want, but I can't see this ending well, either." And then his mother is off on her tour around the world, right after his and Gina's wedding.
Alexis is apprehensive. She knows Gina isn't her mom, and doesn't understand why this person is taking her father away from her. And she definitely doesn't understand why Grams has to leave.
Rick, for the most part, is oblivious, in the beginning. As soon as his divorce from Meredith is approved, he proposes to Gina, who accepts.
Their honeymoon is short; mostly it is the haunting gaze of his child, with her lip quivering, standing next to her babysitter as he leaves his loft, that gets to him, which in turn means that they are away for two weeks instead of the planned-for five. He feels guilty about not spending time with Alexis. Her petulance, her temper tantrums only serve to reinforce that he has been a bad father, one who cares more for himself than for his daughter. And so he spirals.
Gina, of course, is not happy; it is clear that Rick feels that his daughter should come first in his life, at a cost to his own happiness, she thinks.
He takes his daughter to that same park again, in an effort to rekindle the affection between the two of them. He reasons that the park should be as fun as it is with snow as it is in the spring, when they were last there. It is then that he remembers Johanna Beckett (who he has extensively web searched and police-checked, after meeting her, coming away impressed with the woman he had met). On an impulse, he reaches for her card, and dials the number.
It's been less than half a year, he reasons. She would remember him, surely. And besides, he scoffs at himself, he is her favourite author.
After the third ring, someone picks up. "Hello?"
"May I speak to Johanna Beckett, please?" Luck was with him, she was at her house.
"It's Richard Castle, Johanna," he speaks quickly into the phone. "Do you remember me from the park a while ago?"
There is a pause. "Of course, Richard. You and Alexis."
"Well..." He needs someone who can tell him he's on the right track, unlike Gina, who has had nothing but scorn for him since their fight. "I was wondering if you had time any time soon to read my latest draft. I'm starting a new series, see, and my editor...well, we're not getting along at the moment, you can say."
There is a knowing hum on the other end of the line, though this woman has only met him once. "Well, I'm free right now. You can come over, you and Alexis, I'm assuming."
"Great."
Johanna quickly gives them her address, and added, "You'd best let Alexis know there's pumpkin pie and ice cream."
And it is with that last comment that Rick is saved from yet another temper tantrum.
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"Come in, come in!" Johanna greets the two of them with exuberance. Rick notices almost immediately how Christmas-y the Becketts' house is, and thinks with shame about his own bare loft. Alexis is, of course, caught in the web of delight in all things shiny; her eyes widened, and her exclamation of "Look, Papa, look how big the tree is!" has him thinking his family needs Christmas traditions, too.
Johanna has brought down some of her daughter's old toys for Alexis, and while she plays in the living room, with both Rick and Johanna keeping a mindful eye, the two of them sit in the kitchen, one nursing a cup of coffee, the other, hot chocolate.
"My daughter and husband are out at the moment, no doubt purchasing a gift for me last minute," laughs Johanna, and sips her coffee with a content sigh. "How have you been, Richard? I hear from the news you are recently married?"
Rick almost choked. Instead, he settled for a half-smile, half-grimace. "Yes, Gina."
Johanna eyes him for a moment, then, wrapping her fingers around her mug, says, "Well, I would offer my congratulations, but I see things aren't going well for the two of you?"
He sighs. "You could say that. We've had nothing but fights lately. I even forgot it's almost Christmas. I never forget it's Christmas." He pauses, taking a sip of his hot chocolate. "It's Alexis. I don't know how to balance a wife and a kid. And they don't seem to be getting along. And my mother left, which might be a relief, seeing as she's been telling me nothing but 'I-told-you-so's for the last bit." He shrugs. "I don't feel like I'm actually living life, these days." Pausing again, he lets out a cynical chuckle. "I also don't know why I'm telling you all of these things."
Johanna smiles sadly at him. "I won't tell a soul, don't you worry. Well, let's forget about the awful things for a moment, and why don't you show me this new idea that's got you all excited."
They pour over the draft, and Johanna's critique of his writing style, syntax, and even law advice has him feeling happy despite the overwhelming cloud hanging in the back of his mind. Finally, they take a break; she turns to him, saying, "Richard, this may be the best I've seen from you yet. In fact, this is..." she flings her hands open, beaming, "So good."
Rick grins back. "I thought so. Final draft is supposed to go to Gina in a bit, and the timeline looks like it'll be out next summer, if not earlier."
"I'm looking forward to the finished product," she replies, and then her face grows more sombre. "About Gina...why don't you leave Alexis with me for a little bit? My daughter loves playing with children, and I've raised one of my own. You need to go fix things with your wife."
Rick nods, remembering all the background checking he has done on this woman, and feeling confident he is leaving Alexis in safe and capable hands. "I...think I'll go do that. Are you sure it's not an imposition?"
"Not at all, Richard," she says firmly. "The least I can for someone creating beauty in the midst of brokenness. Come back for dinner, and bring Gina with you."
And with that, Rick is out the door, and headed to Black Pawn publishing house, thinking, Maybe I should get Gina flowers...
A/N: Apologies, my dear readers; I had forgotten the date and neglected to put up the latest chapter until now - I hope you will forgive me. Thanks goes to all the kind words of encouragement, follows, and favourites I have received so far. Special mention to melindaWRITER who beta'd this chapter. As always, please let me know what your thoughts on this chapter (and story) are thus far, and or if you're willing to join my beta team! Cheers, Ce'Nelenia
