Chapter 5

Helena is stirred in the early morning by the sounds of Myka's voice. "Helena?" She asks.

Helena opens her eyes, and looks around, realising that yes, she is in Myka's bed. Last night had not been a dream. But very quickly Helena realises that as real as last night had been for her, to Myka it never happened.

"Where is Pete? What's going on?" Myka asks hastily.

Helena pauses for a moment. So, of all the times for Myka's memory to come back, it's the morning she wakes up in her bed. What's more, while Myka seemed to be 'back to normal' whatever that meant, or rather back to the present day, she seems to have no memory of the night before, as if it was two entirely different people.

"HG? What's wrong? What happened to Pete?" Myka demands, panicked.

"Pete is fine." Helena is quick to assure her, as she springs very quickly out of the bed. "He had to go to the Warehouse last night. He asked me to stay with you. I must have fallen asleep, I'm sorry."

"He didn't say goodbye." Myka states. "What is happening at the Warehouse?"

"I honestly am not sure."

"You can tell me, Helena. Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean you have to protect me from every little thing."

It was almost nice in a way, to see Myka like this, aware of what is happening around her. Happy to be pregnant. She looks radiant, glowing. A totally different countenance to last night. It was just getting so hard to keep up. More often than not Myka woke up with some degree of amnesia, now even up to one year of missing time. But there were rare times she seemed to be almost up to speed, missing maybe a few hours of time. It was getting harder and harder to switch between the two and keep acting normally. Especially after last night.

"Pete honestly did not say." Helena tells her. "I'm sure it's nothing, He said he will be back today."

"He stayed all night?"

"As far as I know."

"I'm going to call him." Myka insists.

"Ok" Helena says, trying not to look disappointed.

Myka was happy, and back to herself. She wasn't the miserable angry trapped afraid alone person she had been with last night. And that was a good thing. Good for Myka, she was happy. Helena can't help but mourn her own loss though. She really believed Myka had come back to her. She knows Myka had amnesia, that she wasn't rational. She should have known better. And Myka had asked her, begged her, to remind her in the morning, in the case that she forgot. But this was different. It would be one thing if Myka had forgotten last night but still been so convinced she wasn't married to Pete, that she wasn't pregnant. But Myka was so happy. How could she even try to come between that? And if she DID try, what would happen? What would it matter anyway, who knows how Myka will wake up tomorrow. One thing for sure, once the baby is born and Myka is back to normal, whatever that is, things will stabilise, and Helena will move on. But what if Myka wakes up tomorrow or the next day, and declares her endless love for Helena? How can she turn away from that Myka? From the Myka who was so afraid and so alone? There was no way she could turn her back on that. But for now, she steps aside, lets Myka take the lead.

"Pete? Where have you been? Is everything ok? What's happening at the Warehouse?" Myka asks into the phone.

Helena can't hear his end of the phone call, and can imagine how Pete feels, one minute pushed aside and the next minute pulled right back in. It wasn't Myka's fault, Helena knows that, but she was beginning to resent her, resent this. It was hard on all of them, not just Myka.

"No I'm fine, the baby is fine too. Helena took good care of me. When are you coming home? I really want to see you." Myka says into the phone.

Helena can imagine Pete is probably halfway back to the B &B already. She knows she would be, if Myka had asked her to come running.

"Do you need anything?" Helena asks.

"No, thanks." Myka smiles at her. "I'm pregnant, not an invalid. I'll see you for breakfast. Thanks for looking out for me while Pete was away."

"Anytime. You know that, right?" Helena asks her. She expects some kind of answer, acknowledgement. But she gets very little.

"Of course. Thank you. It means a lot to Pete and I that we have so many people around us to support us. It really is like a big extended family." Myka smiles so purely, and Helena's heart is torn in two. She is so happy to see that smile, to see Myka happy. But she can't let go of the things the 'other' Myka said. Maybe this was all not real? How could Myka shift so completely into a different person just like that?

Helena knows she should be the one now to go busy herself at the Warehouse, or doing anything that isn't around Myka, but she can't help herself. It's like watching a train wreck. She couldn't tear her eyes away.

She went down to the kitchen, where Claudia and Artie were already sitting for breakfast.

"How is Myka?" Claudia asks.

"She is really good. She is back to her old self." Helena says, and even as the words come out she can't help but wonder which self is the old self, which self is the REAL self.

"That's good." Artie says. "Claudia said she had another episode last night."

"She lost a whole year of time. She was very disoriented, and upset." Helena explains. "It really can't be good for her or the baby, there must be something you can do."

Artie sighs "Vanessa is adamant, any treatment we tried to administer now would harm the baby. Once the baby is born then we can see what we can do."

"See what you can do? That's it? What if you can't do anything?" Helena demands.

"I won't stop trying until I find a way to set things right. And it's not the worst thing that could happen. Myka is ok, the baby is ok."

"She isn't really ok." Helena tells him.

"Helena is right." Claudia adds. "You didn't see her last night. It's getting so much worse the more time she loses."

"It's nearly over, what do you want me to do?"

Neither has an answer for him.

"Myka was adamant about this, before she started losing her memory, she was adamant that she did not want any treatments that could harm the baby. We all heard her say that."

"Yeah, I guess." Claudia acknowledges. It's not that any one of them want to harm the baby.

Helena says nothing. Of course Myka would not want to endanger the baby. Helena didn't want that either. But what would happen once the baby came? Would Myka's amnesia episodes stop all together? Would they continue, getting worse and worse until she loses her mind all together? Would she be stuck forever at whatever time she was in when the baby was born? Helena can't decide which choice she even wants. She wants Myka to be happy, uncontested. But she can't deny she dreams about a family with Myka, and her, and a baby. How perfect that would be. And Myka wanted that too, she said so last night. Why was that less real than her love for Pete today? The worst thing, Helena supposes, would be if this never ended, if Myka kept losing months, years, she wouldn't even remember them. She would wake up every day disoriented and lost and alone. And much as Helena would love to be by her side, to Myka she would eventually become a stranger. There has to be a cure for this.

Helena's thoughts are interrupted as Pete enters the kitchen. "Hey." He calls out, smiling. Of course he is smiling. Today, his wife belongs to him.

"Where have you been?" Artie wants to know.

"I have some paper work to catch up on."

"Since when?" Artie demanded.

"I had to get out of here , ok? Myka flipped out, I was only making it worse."

"You can't just take off like that when it gets uncomfortable for you." Artie lectures him.

"Yeah, I know. I didn't take off, I just caught up on some paperwork. The girls were here with Myka, and I was just at the warehouse, I had my phone."

"That's not the point, Pete. It's not going to get any easier, for anyone. You have to be prepared for that. You have to be here to support Myka through this. You promised her that. You want to be a father to that baby, then you have to get used to this kind of thing. Life isn't easy. But you can not just walk out."

"She didn't even remember me, Artie, she didn't remember the wedding, she didn't remember any of it." Pete explains.

"It doesn't matter. She might not remember but she knows deep down. And whatever happens you have to be here. For Myka, for that baby, even when it's not easy." Artie just wont let it go, as if he has no understanding of how heart breaking it was for Pete.

"Ok, I get it, I'm sorry." Pete gives in, trying not to let Artie and his own guilt eat away at his happiness. When was the last time Myka had phoned him and ask to see him? Nothing could wipe the smile off his face today. And when Myka comes down the stairs, Pete's grin just explodes.

Myka rushes towards him embracing him tightly. "I missed you so much." She says. And he just lets go of all the things she said to him the night before. The rejection. He lets it go. Helena sees it in his face. How can he do that? Is it because he thinks, he knows, that Myka eventually will be his Myka forever. That because he is playing daddy to the baby, and husband to Myka, that he will get to keep her. Or is he just relieved for the few precious moments he has with her.

"I missed you too baby." He tells her.

"You didn't even say goodbye to me." She pouts.

He doesn't know exactly the last things she remembers, the last time she had been herself she had fallen asleep beside him. "You were asleep, I didn't want to wake you."He says, hoping that will satisfy. They try not to point out to her all the things she forgets.

"I hate waking up without you." She says.

"I'm sorry, won't happen again." He promises as he tenderly kisses her.

"Do you guys have to do that in the kitchen?" Claudia asks. "We are trying to eat."

"Sit down, eat." Artie tells them both.

"Maybe later." Myka tells them. "I'm not hungry."

"Not hungry?" Pete asks. "Since when? You are eating for two. Are you feeling ok?"

"Never better." Myka tells him. "I'm hungry for something else, Mr Lattimer, maybe we should go upstairs."

"Ewwww. Please. Get a room." Claudia gags.

"Well Mrs Lattimer, you don't have to ask me twice." Pete tells her.

And with that the happy couple left the kitchen.

Helena tries so hard not to picture what is happening upstairs. Hard not to be jealous. Myka was happy, that was all that mattered.

"I think you should make it up to me, Mister Lattimer." Myka tells him as she leads him by the hand back to the bed.

"And just how would you like me to do that, Mrs Lattimer?" He asked.

"I'm sure you can think of something." She tell him as she removes her shirt and lays down in the bed.

He is beside her in an instant, kissing her lips, her neck, her belly. "I'm gonna miss this belly." He says as he gently places his hands over the baby bump.

"I won't." Myka tells him.

"Did he keep you awake kicking last night?" Pete asks. "I told him to let mommy get some sleep."

"She" Myka corrects him "She has been kicking up a storm. I don't know when this baby ever sleeps."

"You look tired." He tells her.

"Thanks" She mumbles, slightly insulted.

"I mean, you look beautiful, but you look tired."

"Guess I didn't sleep well last night, I never do when you're not here."

"I'm sorry." He tells her in between placing kisses on her belly. "Hey he kicked me."

"Or she."

"He or she." Pete smiled. "It doesn't really matter. It's just so amazing, there is a whole little person in there. Our little person." He says in awe. "And Myka, trust me, you have never looked more radiant, more beautiful, than you do right now, carrying this baby."

"Does it bother you Pete, I mean that the warehouse..."

"That I'm not the father?" He finished for her.

"You are the father Pete, you know that. In every way that matters. I just mean.."

"I know what you mean. And maybe one day we will have kids of our own." He makes the mistake of saying.

"So this isn't one of our own?" She asks.

"That came out wrong." He tries to explain but it's just way too late to dig himself out.

"But you will always think of this one as different." Myka pushes him.

"This baby is different. In ways we don't fully understand. It is pre destined to be a caretaker of the warehouse. It's not just an ordinary baby."

"And you want an ordinary baby?" Myka asks.

"I don't know. I mean yes. I would like more babies with you. But with our job, the Warehouse, it's not really the place for a baby. I don't know. Let's just have this one before we get carried away." He is trying so hard not to put his foot in it, but he is trapped. Anything he says now will be used against him. And he knows it.

"But its ok for this baby?" Myka asks.

"This is the Warehouse's baby." He reminds her. "So yeah, I mean this baby is meant to be a part of the Warehouse, right?"

"It's still a baby, Pete. My baby. An innocent baby."

"I know that, and I love you, and I love our baby."

"Just sometimes I wonder..." Myka lets her voice trail off.

"What is it babe?" He asks, sitting up, given away any hope of intimacy now that this conversation has started.

"Maybe we should take the baby away from here, from the Warehouse, at least until it is old enough to decide for itself what kind of life it wants." Myka spits out what has been on her mind ever since she found out she was pregnant.

"You want to leave the Warehouse?" Pete asks, surprised. He never had a hint that she wanted that. Then again, she had not been herself.

"I want my baby to be safe, happy, secure. I didn't choose to get pregnant, you know that. And I didn't want to keep the baby when I found out I was pregnant. Then I found out what happened. How important this baby is to the Warehouse, to Mrs Frederic, to Artie. But how unfair is that to place such expectations on a person who isn't even born. And maybe the Warehouse will change it's mind, look what happened with Claudia, we still don't know why she isn't the future care taker anymore." Myka explains.

"I see what you're saying Myks, but Claudia is different. She wasn't conceived by the Warehouse. This baby is part of the Warehouse in a way that you and I will never understand."

There are tears in Myka's eyes, and he doesn't understand why. "Ignore me, just hormones" She dismisses it.

"No." He tells her. "It really worries you, doesn't it? You really want to leave?"

"You think i'm irrational." She states.

"No, Myka. I think every parent worries about their children. Wants the best for them. And yes the Warehouse doesn't seem the ideal place to raise a baby. But this baby is born of the Warehouse, protected by the Warehouse. This is our life, our family. What we do is important."

"Our baby is important. It's a baby Pete not an artifact, or some tool for the Warehouse to use. Vanessa said, biologically its a real baby, a normal human baby, really is this where you want to raise a baby? This isn't the Warehouse's baby, not Artie's, Mrs Frederics, the Regents, its my baby. And its my job to protect it."

"Your baby now?" Pete echoes. It's the second time actually, that Myka has said "my baby."

"Our baby, you know what I mean." She says, growing frustrated.

"Please let's not fight." Pete tells her. "Just enjoy this time. There isn't long before the baby will be here, and then there will be sleepless nights, dirty nappies, let's just enjoy this time together when it's just us."

"I just have a bad feeling." Myka says ominously.

"What kind of feeling?" He asks.

"That something bad is going to happen to the baby, that they are going to take it away from us, that the Warehouse is going to somehow take this baby from us, and I cant let that happen. I know I didn't want this, I didn't ask for this, but this baby has grown inside me, its part of me, I won't let anything happen to it. "

"This baby means the world to me too, and I promise, no matter what, I will never ever let anything happen to you or to our baby. If I had any inkling of a bad vibe I would tell you. Let's just relax ok, wait for the baby to be born. We can't go anywhere yet, even if we wanted to, Vanessa said you should be on bed rest until the baby comes. But if, after the baby is born, you really feel like we have to leave, I will go with you, I will take you anywhere you want to go, but let's just give it a chance, ok?"

"So you do think I'm just being an irrational pregnant woman, and when the baby is born I will see sense?" She asks.

"I know that you need to rest, I know you're afraid. I understand what you're saying to me. And I promise you, nothing will happen to our baby."

"I am afraid Pete." She whispers.

"You don't need to be. I wont let anything happen to you. You know that right?"

"I know." She sighs. She knows he believes it. And in all fairness to Pete, he has always, always had her back. But she can't shake her fear, and this ever present feeling like she has to RUN.

"How about I bring you some breakfast in bed? And I'll keep you company for the day in bed?" He suggests, with such a goofy grin it would be impossible to say no.

"Ok."She gives in. There was no convincing him of the danger, and she had missed him. It would be a relief to put all her fears aside and spend time with her husband.