December 8, 2012

Kensi's six when she gets her first candy cane.

Her parents are not generally fans and Kensi can't say she's ever really cared for or about them herself. Of course, she's young, and really, since it's not part of her regular diet, she doesn't feel like she's missing out on anything.

Until Mason Silas.

She's sitting at her desk, colouring a picture of Santa when he steps up beside her. She looks up from her careful picture – she will stay inside all the lines this time – and blinks at him.

He thrusts a candy cane at her.

"Merry Christmas."

Her cheeks heat even as a smile blossoms over her face. She likes Mason well enough. He's funny and he's fast. She hates when he's It in tag because he always chases after her and catches her when no one else can. But she loves it too, because there's only one person in all of first grade that can run as fast as she can. And he likes building forts and playing with cars and he doesn't tell her she should be playing in a plastic kitchen or with the dolls.

She goes home that night and puts the candy cane on her bedside table. The next morning, it makes her smile and she skips downstairs, harassing her mother until she agrees to make a special stop. She tucks her candy cane in her backpack before the leave and combs through boxes and boxes until she's irrationally satisfied with the one she's chosen.

She finds Mason at lunch, both candy canes clutched in her fist. He smiles at her and she smiles back as she plops down, uncaring of the dirt she's definitely getting on her pants. She's never cared about that kind of thing.

Then she holds out one of the candy canes. "We can eat them together."

They spend the whole of lunch recess eating their candy canes in silence.

Years later, when Kensi's asked as a teenager who her first crush was, she always says Mason, the first boy to give her a candy cane.


Kensi hadn't understood when she'd opened the door for December 8th and found nothing inside. That didn't seem to fit with the advent theme. It's not that she's looking for a gift, but she doesn't like the idea of not having a plan. So much so that she's almost panicking as she heads into work.

What is she supposed to do with Callen when there's nothing behind door number eight?

The question makes her heart drop and she's glad she's stopped at a red light when it happens. Sure, she's not blind to the things that are shifting, and she knows she's had some interesting reactions to Callen since they started the advent calendar, but there's no way in hell that the overwhelmed feeling that has her heart pounding can be attributed to the dread of having nothing to do with him. Or really, no excuse to do something with him.

She's back to that weird place of a couple of days ago, where she'd been scolding herself for letting Callen take over too much of her thought processes. It's not healthy, she thinks, because he's Callen and they're colleagues and there's no logical reason for a colleague to be upset because they don't have an excuse to spend time with another colleague.

She's a little cranky when she steps into OSP, but it fades at the sight of the candy cane box on her desk.

"What's this?" she asks her teammates in greeting. She only allows her gaze to settle on Callen briefly before focusing on Deeks.

"Candy canes. Duh."

She rolls her eyes. "What are we supposed to do with them?"

"Do with them? Kens, are you telling me you've never had a candy cane?" Deeks needles. Sam chuckles, but sobers quickly when she sends him a glare. She's used to it from Deeks, but she will not tolerate it from anyone else.

"I've had candy canes," she argues back, "but all of the other days have been about sharing the holiday. So how are we supposed to share a box of candy canes?"

"However you would like, Miss Blye," Hetty says and they all jump.

Kensi's eyes flutter closed. She wonders if they're supposed to be used to Hetty's ninja skills by now.

"You may eat them all yourself, or you may share them with others. It is entirely up to you." She offers them a nod. "In the meantime, I do believe you all owe me some paperwork."

Deeks shrinks back and Sam sighs, but Kensi grins as she looks down at her box of candy canes, her mind darting to a December day too many years ago and a special candy cane shared with a little boy.

. . . . .

She makes a game out of it.

It's one of the major things she took away from her time with Jack. The best way to enjoy something that may seem otherwise tedious is to turn it into a game or a challenge. It's worked for her every day since and this one is no exception. Really, she's just bastardizing her charity donation tradition, but though the premise is the same, she feels like this concept is different.

These are people she cares about.

They're people who work with her.

It's an entirely new challenge.

Well, maybe not all of it. Deeks is simple because he is astoundingly easy to distract when he's not in character. Eric gets so wrapped up in his technical jargon that managing to leave a candy cane on his desk is easy as well. She gets a break with Nell when she walks in on some intense flirting between her and Eric. She giggles to herself all the way back to her desk after that one. She manages to slip one into Sam's gym bag and catches him eating it later that afternoon. It makes her smile, even as she tries to hide it. She doesn't want anyone knowing it's her.

She leaves a few in random places around the hacienda for people to find. She likes the idea of a random surprise at this time of year, especially when it's one that's positive and simple. When she's finished that, she's left with two. She briefly considers just dropping one on Hetty's desk – because really, she could try as hard as she wants and she's pretty sure Hetty would still know it's from her – but decides it'll give the rest of the game away if she does. Eventually, she just slides it into one of her folders before she hands in her report. At the very least, it'll make Hetty smile.

Then she's left with one.

She knows exactly where this one is going, but this one is also different. Or, maybe it's not, but she's going to make it different. This isn't just a candy cane traded among friends, this is sharing another tradition, bringing forth another warm memory from her past into her present.

She takes her time with this one, let's the universe work out the perfect time. There's a lull in the early afternoon and she slips a piece of paper onto Callen's desk. She's not there when he reads it, but it's gone when she returns so she climbs the stairs up to a seldom-used tower in NCIS' OSP. He's not there, but she pulls a candy cane from her pocket anyway.

She's just thinking about unwrapping it and eating it alone when the hairs on the back of her neck start to tingle. She loves and hates that her radar is tuning itself to his presence. It's a thrill and a terrifying thought. She turns her head to meet his gaze and finds herself surprised to see the candy cane he's holding.

"I figured you out early," he says with a smile.

"Did not," she counters, just for the sake of bickering.

"I donated money with you. It had your name all over it."

She's not offended, so she offers him a smile and a shrug. "I don't need all that sugar. I figured I'd share it."

"You've held one back." He waves to the cane in her hand with the one in his.

She turns back to the cellophane-wrapped candy, spinning it in her fingers. "I got my first candy cane when I was six," she reveals. "Mason Silas gave it to me in class one day."

"Another casualty of your sparkling personality."

She sticks her tongue out at him as he comes closer, but can see something sincere in his eyes. Her stomach jumps and her heart jolts, so she looks away. "We ate them at lunch the next day. I made Mom go out and buy one for him."

He takes a seat beside her on the windowsill and waits her out. She doesn't take long because she's done scarier things than offer G Callen a candy cane. After a minute she does indeed hold the candy out for him to take. He does so with gentle, almost reverent fingers, and she valiantly ignores the heat that sizzles across her skin when their fingers brush. She drops her hand to her lap as he stares at the gift she's presented him with. It's not much, but there's that something that she can't identify back in his eyes again.

She looks away, back to LA and the lights the city casts over everything. A moment later, he all but shoves a candy cane under her nose. Now it's her fingers that tremble as she accepts the candy, unable to hide her shock and awe. She feels like that six year old girl again presented with a gift much more precious than gold or diamonds.

"I got my first candy cane when I was much older than six," he says quietly.

Kensi knows her stomach is in knots and she knows she cannot look up. They're having another one of those moments where things are happening and she's not entirely sure what to do about it or how to handle it. So she does the most obvious thing. She shifts closer on the windowsill and tugs the plastic off the straight end of her treat.

Callen does the same and they sit there, looking out over the glittering lights of LA, each eating a candy cane that's so much more than simply a gift.


First and foremost, I hope the holiday season has treated you all well, whatever you celebrate. If you're a Christmas person (because I am!) I most certainly hope you had a very Merry Christmas!

Second. Rant time:

This was not meant to be candy canes! It was meant to be something else, but then I didn't want to write it and I couldn't write it so I decided to rearrange the whole thing. Well, the chapters between this one and about the thirteenth. In bad news, I may have screwed myself over because I'm not sure all of the traditions will work out okay. As in I'm missing ideas for a whole bunch more days than I originally was.

If you have a tradition you usually partake in (I'm not sure that's the way to say it, I'm a little tired) that you are willing to share please do! I have such a blast writing them in. You guys have given me great ones so far, but there are a few new reviewers (and I'm assuming readers) so I'd like to hear from you again. Even if you already shared one, share another!

Thank you so much to those of you that reviewed. It never ceases to amaze me how understanding readers can be. Especially those of you who also write and know how difficult it can be to keep your muse on track. I owe you guys the world.

Here's to hoping nine is faster. And that I didn't just jinx myself.

Also, just in case, Happy New Year!