Author's Note: This is dark; you've been warned! Bittersweetness gets me every time. Enjoy! Leave a review.


Sebastian dipped his head back and swallowed the last few drops of scotch. The sun was blazing above the Hamptons, shining on his head as he lounged on the pool deck. He reached onto the nearby table and poured himself another drink. He never should have come here.

His father was still a jerk, his mother still covered for her husband, and everyone else was just as fake as be remembered. What was worse, Blaine was buying it all. He smiled too much, laughed too much; he was becoming one of them.

Sebastian's throat burned as he chugged the liquor. He had lost track of the glasses he had since breakfast. His father came down in a robe with the paper under his arm and asked Sebastian if he was going to do anything productive that day. Once he left for his office, the young man grabbed his mother's secret bottle and downed about half of it since. Blaine hadn't been awake yet. He could be now, for all the lawyer knew, but he didn't feel like going to check.

Let him lounge around with my mother, watching soaps and hosting parties, he sneered.

Why did he even accept this invitation in the first place? He shouldn't have expected it to have changed. He remembered rolling up in the car to his parents' Hamptons villa. His mother ran down the steps and clung to Sebastian as soon as he untangled himself from the seatbelt. His cheeks were bright red and he managed to hide his smile in her curls. She still only reached his chest, and her arms were still thick like loaves of bread, and she still laughed too much, but he liked that. He had missed her.

It would have been fine if it was just his mother there. But Mr. Smythe came out the front door in his navy suit and silver tie, staring his son down. Sebastian relaxed his grip around his mother and watched as the man walked over to his only son. His father's hair was greyer than before and he still hosted a ridiculous handlebar mustache, and from the stare, Sebastian guessed not much had changed since he last visited home.

He looked away and motioned for Blaine to come over. He was soon at Sebastian's side, hand intertwined with his. "Mom, Father, this is Blaine Anderson, my boyfriend." He never thought he would end up saying that to his father.

His mother Helen smiled. "What a nice name, Blaine. Celtic, right?"

"Irish, English, Scottish . . . the list goes on," Blaine chuckled. "It's a pleasure to meet you both. Thank you for inviting us, we really appreciate it."

Helen smiled. "Thank you for accepting. I've missed Sebastian so much and-"

"Come Helen, no need to bore them with your stories." Sebastian's father Conrad pulled out a cigarette and lit it. "Are you two rooming together?"

"I was thinking we would share my old room," Sebastian said, looking back at the cold man. "Unless you have other plans."

Conrad turned on his heal. "Do whatever you like." He left the others outside, staring at he walked away.

Since that first day, the only thing Sebastian had been good at was drinking. A lot. He took another sip of his scotch. It was no secret Blaine hated it, as did his mother. He shut his eyes, blocking out the energetic noises of the Hamptons as best he could. His memories were starting to blur, thank God, but one surprised him.

He was sixteen. His father had just caught him with another boy from Dalton. Sebastian couldn't remember the name. With his pants hanging around his ankles and his shirt unbuttoned, he had never seen his father stare at him with such loathing. The Dalton boy ran off, leaving Sebastian to deal with his father alone.

Conrad had a cigarette then too. The smoke nearly gagged the boy. "What did I tell you about this, Sebastian?"

"Father, there's nothing-"

"Quiet! Do you see how you embarrass me? With this—this behaviour? When will you learn?"

"Please Father, I-"

Conrad shook his head. "Get dressed. We're going out."

"Where are we going?"

"Somewhere you'll learn what it means to be a man."

By that, Conrad meant a strip club. He paid four hundred dollars for the works and sent his son back into a room with a pro. Sebastian was told he wasn't allowed to leave until he had satisfied her, whatever that meant. Sebastian remembered kissing a few girls in grade eight, before he moved to Dalton and accepted who he was. He thought it would be like that, but it wasn't.

Cinnamon, that was her name, she knew what she was doing. He hated what she did to his body, but he hated his father more. He left that club feeling disgusted with himself. He took three showers that night and didn't fall asleep until three. Helen never asked what happened.

Sebastian had another drink. He wished that memory was just a stupid dream. He swirled the dark liquid in his glass, watching it spin. He never should have come here.

I'll tell Blaine, he thought. We'll go back to New York and spend the rest of the summer in the city. I'm never coming here again. He rose to his feet unsteadily then swayed back to the room. The patio door was open, and just as he was about to step in, he saw Blaine with his back turned to the doorway. His shoulders were hunched, his hair without gel, and he sounded like he had been crying.

"Kurt, it's awful. All Seb does is drink all day and ignore his parents. His mother is the nicest woman in the world, you would love her," Blaine sniffed. "He hasn't touched me since we came here. It's like he hates me just as much as he does this place. I wish we never came. I can't—I can't even look at him right now without wanting to cry. This was a mistake. All of it."

Sebastian's eyes narrowed. Without thinking, he entered and slammed the sliding door. Blaine whipped his head around, his mouth open. "I gotta go. I'll talk to you later." Blaine hung up on his ex and watched as Sebastian glared at him.

"Sorry, did I interrupt something?"

"No, Sebastian, I was just-"

"Getting back together with Kurt? Planning to dump me? Which is it?"

"Neither!"

"I heard what you said, about this being a mistake. Don't lie to me!" he shouted.

"I didn't mean us, I meant," he sighed. "You know what, I'm not doing this. Not when you're drunk."

"Haven't you heard, all I do is drink! I'm just like dear old dad!" he said as he threw up his hands.

Blaine narrowed his eyes. "What has gotten into you? Ever since we got here you've been nothing but an ass. It's like I don't even know you."

Sebastian popped the cap off the scotch. "You don't know me Blaine, you know nothing."

Blaine stared at the taller man for a moment then turned his back to Sebastian. Just as he was going to take a swig, Sebastian had an overwhelming urge to vomit. He raced to the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind him.

He remembered waking up on the bathroom floor with an awful taste in his mouth. He stared at the ceiling for a moment, trying to remember what happened. The young man felt for the rim of the toilet then pushed himself into a sitting position. His mouth was sandpaper and his body ached. What time was it?

Sebastian managed to stand and felt his way out of the bathroom. He stared at the patio and saw the moon was up. He cringed. Blaine wasn't going to be happy. That was when he noticed the drawers were open. Upon closer inspection, Sebastian realized all of Blaine's things were gone.

No.

He ran as fast as he could to the kitchen where he knew his mother would be. "Where's Blaine?"

Helen looked up from her dough kneading and stared at her son. "Your father drove him to the train station. I assume he's in the city by now."

Sebastian's stomach twisted and he thought he was going to throw up again. "Why do you let him do that?"

"Who, Blaine or your father?"

"Both!"

Helen sighed. "Sit down, Sebastian."

"No, I need to find Blaine! I need to tell him-"

"You need to sit and eat something."

Sebastian stood for a moment then gave in. He sat across the counter from his mother, his foot tapping on the black tiled floor. Helen placed a fresh croissant in front of her son.

"Sebastian, I love you, but sometimes I don't like who you are. You're not the boy I raised."

He stared at the counter. "I don't need a lecture right now."

"Actually, you do. I haven't seen you in over two years, and all you do when you're here is drink and hide. It isn't fair to Blaine, or me, or your-"

"I didn't come for Father. He doesn't even want me here."

Helen sighed. "Sebastian, that isn't fair. You haven't given him a chance."

"Do I need to tell you all the reasons that piece of crap doesn't deserve a chance? Because if I do, then I'm heading back to the city right now. It's not my fault you have blinders on when it comes to that guy."

She slammed the rolling pin down. "That's enough! Sebastian, you're going to listen to me." The young man gulped. He couldn't remember a time his mother had ever shouted at him. "I am not going to deny I have excused Conrad's behaviour. It wasn't right of me to do that, especially not for you. But you don't know your grandfather. If you did, you would see why your father is who he is."

"You always said our parents shouldn't be used as an excuse to dictate our behaviour."

"Grandpa Smythe is not an excuse. He was an awful man. I'm just glad he died before you could meet him."

Sebastian ran a hand through his hair. "What's your point?"

"Son," she sighed. "I don't want you to become your father. His anger and coldness is not something I want you to inherit. You need to change."

"I know."

"You need to grow up."

"I know!"

"You need to forgive him."

Sebastian licked his lips. "No," he whispered. "I can't."

"Then you're going to lose Blaine. This hate you have inside you is going to consume you one day. There won't be any room left for Blaine if you let it."

Sebastian shook his head. "Blaine understands."

"Does he? Because when he left, he was crying. I offered to drive, but Conrad insisted. He wanted to talk to Blaine. And Blaine was okay with that. Does he know, Sebastian? Have you told him?"

Sebastian swallowed. "I've tried."

Helen nodded. "You need to be honest with yourself, and with Blaine. He is a wonderful man, and he makes you happy, I know he does. On your way back to the city, think about what I've said." She went over and kissed his forehead. "Eat your food then you can go."

Sebastian almost got in a car crash twice before he pulled over and let the tears flow. He cursed, he sobbed, he whined, he wasn't sure to who. He kept seeing Conrad's face and he wished his father was there so he could tell him how much he hated him but wished he didn't.

It was nearing dawn by the time Sebastian got into the city. He parked the car then took the stares slow, one step at a time. He considered getting flowers, but the idea of going anywhere public made him cringe. When he got to the door, he raised his fist but heard music in the background. He paused, listening to the lyrics, then knocked.

When Blaine answered, he was in one of Sebastian's shirts. His eyes were red much like Sebastian's, and his hair was uncurled like earlier. Sebastian opened his mouth, but no words came out. He licked his lips. "My dad is a piece of shit," he whispered, his voice cracking.

Blaine opened the door wider. Sebastian kicked it shut and followed Blaine to their bedroom. Their dog and cat were nestled on the pillows. The music was louder in here, but Sebastian didn't hear it. He sat on the edge of the bed beside Blaine and suddenly he couldn't shut up. He told Blaine about the first time he told his father he liked boys. He went through ever punch, kick, or hooker Conrad used to try and fix his son. He told Blaine about the summer he spent at Straight Camp. When he was done, he didn't have much of a voice left, and his chest heart from the gasps he took for air, but it was done now. He was finished.

Blaine didn't say anything for a while. Sebastian wondered if his boyfriend believed him. He reached into Sebastian's shirt and pulled out a letter. He placed it in Sebastian's hand. "Your father wanted me to give you this."

Sebastian opened it with shaking hands. All it said on the page was "I'm sorry". The young lawyer's fist curled around it, crushing it. He pressed it against his forehead as another tear leaked out. He didn't think he had any left.

Blaine wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's waist, holding him tight. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," Sebastian sobbed. "I'm so sorry. I treat you like crap and . . . I'm the worst person," he gasped. "I'm too much like him."

"Shut up," Blaine whispered. He kissed the corner of Sebastian's mouth. "You are not your father." He tilted his head and pressed his lips to the man's cheek. "I wouldn't love you if you were."

Hours later, when they successfully missed two meals, Blaine's phone buzzed. Sebastian reached out to grab it, but Blaine placed his hand on Sebastian's arm then draped it around his waist. "Leave it," he muttered. "I don't have rehearsal today. Let's stay in bed." Sebastian agreed but when Blaine was sleeping, he snuck a peek at the phone.

I'm glad you and Sebastian made up. You two are perfect together. I'm so happy for you Blaine, really. You made the right choice with him. Sebastian re-read Kurt's text then put the phone back. He rolled over and wrapped his arms around Blaine. His kitten purred above his head as Blaine's puppy snored beside the actor. Home sweet home.