►Chapter Four◄
It's been almost two weeks since my date with Logan. I haven't heard from him. Although I knew to not expect to, considering what I'd learned about his views on relationships and all, part of me was disappointed. The morning after our date, it was only after I left his apartment in high spirits that I realized we didn't exchange numbers, nor did he mention anything about seeing each other again.
Then, when Paris gave me the password for my online dating account, I had anxiously checked to see if Logan left any messages. But, the number on the little yellow envelope on the screen remained to be 0 for two whole days. On the third day, I saw a tiny number 1 on the envelope. I had clicked on it, with my heart flipping the tiniest bit, and saw that it was a message from a José reading "Webcam, si?"
After that, I told myself to not think about it. It was a blind date. I should be happy that I wasn't kidnapped into the back of a guy's van and drove off to god knows where. I even got a free dinner and breakfast out of it. What more could I ask for? Plus, I should be proud of myself for not sleeping with him. I didn't give in to his well-practiced advances and liquid, caramel eyes. Heck, I deserved a medal for that.
It didn't matter that we stayed up all night talking and I even shared the story where I peed my pants during my first roller coaster ride when I was seven. I mean, if this was me a decade ago, yeah, my ego would be bruised and I might be crying about the hurt of rejection. But, after thirty years of witnessing life's many disappointments? This was nothing.
Besides, my mind was pretty occupied the days after my date with Logan. I went to the apartment that Dean and I shared every afternoon from two to four to move out my things little by little. Those were the hours that were guaranteed to be Dean-free. After a week, most of my stuff was now in storage. They would probably stay there for another week or so until I found my own place.
►It's about time◄
Today marked the final day I would ever step foot into the building that I'd lived in for years again. It held too many memories – good and bad. After today, I might not even want to ever pass this street.
I walked down the hallway on the second floor, which I'd passed every day for five years. The sole of my boots had every fiber in the carpet memorized. Yet, to me, my surroundings felt strange. Perhaps it was because I knew this was no longer where I belonged.
Opening the door and stepping inside, a musky, sour smell hit me. Ugh. It smelled like alcohol and dirty laundry. I moved to the center of the room and observed the quiet place. Having stayed at Paris and Doyle's for two weeks, the apartment that I lived in with Dean was suddenly so foreign. The large amount of garbage piled up everywhere no doubt contributed to the distant feeling. Sprawled on the coffee table were unopened mails and pieces of paper. Walking over to hover above the table, I observed the rings of yellow wood and shiny polish peaking through the junk. Dean and I had picked it out at the furniture store. We had thought the color went well with the beige wallpapers in the living room. That was back when things were good between us. The thought formed a wave of nostalgia in my stomach, mixing with the bile at the thought of Dean and Lindsay's bodies pressed together.
Five years can change a person by so much. Or maybe it doesn't change a person, but brings out the worst in them - the bad that you failed to see during the honeymoon phase.
Sighing to myself, I turned my back to the table and walked away from it, towards the bedroom. There was no use dwelling on the memories now. For the first time, I was completely letting go of what Dean and I had. I wanted to be freed.
In the bedroom, I pulled out the last box of my belongings. It wasn't much. Just some stray clothes, CDs, and products found in the back of the closet and drawers. Ready to get out of there, I carried the box in my arms and headed for the front door.
My footsteps froze when the front door opened. Dean walked in and his eyes found mine.
A huge chunk of my stomach seemed to be pulled out as I stood there, staring at him. Even from a few feet away, his tall frame caved me in. His eyes were dark, but softer than it usually was. He looked lost and unsure of what to do. Seeing him like that, I felt pity towards the man I had known since my high school days.
He stepped closer, saying my name. "Rory…"
Avoiding his eyes, I said. "Aren't you supposed to be at work?" Moving towards the door that was behind him, I added. "It doesn't matter because I was just leaving."
He grabbed my upper arm when I tried to walk by. "No, Rory. Please, I want to talk."
A sigh came out as I shook my head. With my eyes focused on the door, I said. "I have nothing to talk to you about." Hearing how cold my voice was, I felt like I didn't even know myself. In our numerous fights, I had never been this calm.
His voice was weak as he said. "I tried to leave you alone like you told me to. I really did."
Hearing his helpless tone, my heart ached.
"Can we please just sit down and talk? I miss you so much. I have so much to tell you."
The sinking feeling in my stomach let me know it was too late. After so many years, I finally had enough. I didn't want anything more to do with him. For my sake, I wanted to cut ties completely.
I tried to say my next words as gently as I could. "Dean, I can't be the one you talk to about your troubles anymore. We're over. Just let me go."
My chest rose and fell as we stood there for several minutes in silence. I could feel his gaze burning into the side of my face, but I continued to stare at the door, praying he would release my arm.
When I was almost ready to tear his hand away and make a run for it, Dean's fingers slowly unclenched and, before long, I didn't feel them on me anymore.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I made a quick exit.
►It's about time◄
Back to the note on life's many disappointments, being a journalist certainly wasn't as fancy as I'd imagined when I graduated Yale. But, that's just life. Hot and heavy romances crash, dream jobs become constant nightmares of deadlines and rewrites, and, before you know it, you're thirty and alone in a library on a Friday night.
I was sitting in a cubicle, working on the article that was due in a few days when the sound of a ping came from my laptop. Glancing around me, only to see wooden dividers, I touched the mouse pad so I could see the screen.
You have 1 new message.
Oh goody, another forty year old asking for frisky time in front of a webcam. Rolling my eyes, I clicked on the pop up. A window opened, bringing me to the colorful online dating site. On the large banner at the top, pink hearts and red ink scribbles spelled out the website name.
It's About Time. com
As in it's about time that you met a cocky stranger, almost got tricked into having a one night stand, and then spent the next two days wondering why the hell he never contacted you afterwards.
Pushing my bitterness aside, I led my mouse to click on the yellow envelope on the top right corner. The page refreshed and I was shocked to see a small, square icon with Logan's face on it, beside a short message. My heart instantly thumped louder at the sight. Traitor.
I read the sentence.
Logan: Hey, how's it going? ;-)
Hm. Four words and a smiley face. Five, if you count the apostrophe s.
How dare he write this after two weeks? Who does he think he is? Did he think I was a booty call?! Suddenly angry, my fingers started hitting the keys on my laptop as I sent a reply.
Rory: Great. My hair's gone gray, and I think I see a liver spot appearing on the back of my hand as I type.
Fidgeting with the collar of my shirt, I read over my message. Groaning inwardly, I wished I could take back my words. Bitterness was dripping right out of them.
After several seconds, a new message appeared below mine.
Logan: Aw, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were waiting around for my message. :-)
Arrogant asshole. Clenching my fists, fume came out of my ears.
Rory: I see you haven't sought help for your narcissistic personality disorder. Not everyone is pining after you. I have better things to do.
Logan: I've said it once, and I'll say it again. Not everyone. But, you are.
Gritting my teeth, I opened a web browser and searched for what I had in mind as a reply. When I found it, I copied and pasted it into the message box.
Rory: Symptoms of NPD defined by the DSM-IV-TR is not limited to but includes expecting constant admiration and envy from others.
I drummed my fingers against the table while I waited for his message. After a while, it came.
Logan: Rudeness (n.) - An offensive lack of manners, whether of physical or verbal acts, that ignores accepted refinements of civilized societies.
Sucking in a mouthful of air, I forced on a dry smile, as if he could see, and typed.
Rory: What did you want, Logan?
Logan: Ah, that's better, but you could lighten your tone a bit with a smiley face. Like this - I was thinking maybe we can grab a coffee sometime? :-)
Rory: I'm aware of how smiley faces work. But, it's an act of friendliness that some people don't deserve. And why the sudden interest in coffee? From what I've seen, you weren't too familiar with making it the right way.
Logan: Now that you remind me, I'm worried about your unhealthy particularity with your source of caffeine. Maybe we should get drinks instead?
Biting down on my lip, I finally took a moment to think about his offer. Should I really see him again? I hated to admit it, but I was physically attracted to him. Then again, probably lots of women were. However, he was definitely not the relationship type.
But, I wasn't looking to be in a relationship after what happened with Dean, my conscious reminded me. I suppose I might as well loosen up and have a good time. Mulling over my response for only one more second, I answered.
Rory: Coffee's fine. I wouldn't trust you with alcohol until you've sought professional help.
Thanks for reading!
I had a bit of free time today and this chapter just came out. I won't be writing LoF until the weekend because the next chapter is kinda depressing, and I don't wanna be depressed for the Halloween parties coming up :P
I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Please let me know what you think!
Thanks for all your reviews. I'm so glad that you're liking the story so far.
Happy (early) Halloween!
