oh boy, it is dangerous to show my face now with how long I've had you guys waiting for this story. sorry about that! no I haven't ABANDONED this and NOR WILL I, I just want everyone to know that this story is not a top priority, it's just like a fun thing I put on the side for when I have crazy ideas or need a break from my REAL STORIES.

also, I see a lot of people have been requesting things since I wrote my first request story and now everyone's like "wtf? you take request?! GASP! why have I not known this?!" WELL KNOW THIS! I only do request for SASUNARU, and if you want me to write one for you then you have to private message me with your idea and as soon as I type it up and post it I will message you back. I've currently got 2 more request I'm working on, and geez, you guys just can't get enough of naru dressed like a chick, but that's okay! I like making you guys happy!

anyway, enough delaying, I again apologize for the wait and here is chapter dos!

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Chapter 2: Mental Much?

Nai sighed with unkempt relief as Naruto instructed him to pull into a driveway, right before his eyes went as wide as dinner plates, "This...this is your house?"

Naruto groaned and slowly pulled himself from out of the window, rubbing his stomach with a small pout, "Yeah, thanks for the ride."

Nai glanced at him while Sasuke got out from the back, "I swear, if I wasn't as drunk as I am, and if I didn't want to get so fucking FAR AWAY from you people, I wouldn't hesitate to rob your ass right now." he waved before backing out of the driveway and screeching down the street.

Sasuke stared at the blonde, who was still rubbing his stomach, "...Stop crying like a damn child, I'm sure it wasn't that bad."

Naruto snapped at him, "Who asked you?! When YOU have your ass sticking out a car window for over 70 miles of driving and YOU have people spank you from other cars at stop lights, THEN you can come and talk to me about how fucking bad it is!"

"You have a very nice house."

"Well fuck your opin--oh...uh, I mean, thanks."

"It's...quite large."

"Naruto straightened up and beamed proudly at his home...mansion, "Well you know what they say about big houses."

"No, I don't."

He frowned, "Um...me neither."

"Do you live with other people?"

"No, by myself. But now, unfortunately, I guess I have you, so c'mon."

Both men walked to the front door, where Naruto pulled out a key from his pocket and opened it. Despite how elaborate outside looked, inside was very plain. Wooden tables and chairs here and there, a living room, kitchen, TV, normal things. Wasn't even like it was a damn twenty foot plasma screen or golden seats, everything was plain and simple.

Naruto waited until Sasuke came inside before closing the door and tossing his keys on a nearby table., "Well, what do you think?"

Sasuke smirked, "I think your decoration sucks."

"And we're back to this again." he rolled his eyes and went into the kitchen, fixing a glass of water for himself.

Sasuke followed him and crossed his arms, "So, where's my room?"

Naruto lifted a brow and slowly put down his glass, "Your room." he swiped an arm across his mouth and smiled, "Oh I'll show you where your room is. Close your eyes."

Sasuke frowned but obeyed, and felt Naruto grab his wrist and pull him. After walking about three steps, he let go, "Okay, open."

They were back in the living room.

"You're making me stay here?"

"Well, I have a dog house in the back. It used to belong to Fluffy Boo Boo, but that is a sad and tragic story that involves a barbecue."

"How lovely, and how many rooms do you have in here?"

Naruto shrugged, "About twenty, and those are just the ones I KNOW about." he went back into the kitchen and picked up his water.

"You're obviously wealthy, why don't--"

Naruto sputtered his drink and began laughing, "Wealthy? Me? As in rich? Oh, man that's a good one." he slammed his cup down, "My friend Neji bought this house for me last year, for Christmas."

"Tch, he wasted all his money on you?"

"WASTED? HA! Yeah fucking right. Neji is so damn rich, he shits wads of cash into golden toilet seats filled with apple juice."

"That's...um...yeah, do I really have to stay in the living room?"

Naruto smiled, "Dog house is in the back if you want it. But first," his smile fell away, "give me the knife."

Sasuke blinked, "What?"

Naruto held out a hand, "C'mon, give it to me, I won't have you murdering me in my sleep."

"You dumbass, where the hell is this coming from? I don't have a knife."

Naruto pounded a fist on the counter, "Bullshit!" he started with surprise when the other suddenly vanished from sight. Blue eyes flicked from left to right in confusion, and his whole body jerked when a hot breath swam across the nape of his neck, "Search me, if you think I'm lying."

Naruto spun around and came face to face with Sasuke, "...You have to stop doing that."

"Your reaction is fun to watch."

Naruto swallowed a lump in his throat, "Yeah? Well it's not going to be much fun when you start buying me new underwear, because I just pissed myself a little bit thanks to you."

Sasuke stayed silent with a smile.

'...Okay, this is going beyond weird.' "Um...well, I'm gonna go change now and hit the sack." he moved to leave but Sasuke thrusted an arm out to block his path.

"Uh--seriously, my room is down the hall, passed the bathroom--"

"You're very intriguing."

"Um, you know what? I changed my mind, I'll give you a room."

"This isn't about that."

"A big, nice room! With CURTAINS!"

"You still don't believe me."

"Oh yes I do, from now on I'll believe every frikin word you say, you can count on that."

"Search me, I don't mind."

Naruto bit his lip and glanced at the arm blocking his way, then back at Sasuke, "If I do it, will you stop scaring the piss out of me for now?"

"I'll rest easy knowing you can rest easy."

"Um...o-okay." he stepped back and turned his head so he was staring at his side, keeping himself as far away as possible from the other while he held out his arms and brushed the tips of his fingers along Sasuke's chest. Then he whipped his hands back and smiled, "Oh! Well whaddaya know? No knife! Guess I'll go to bed now."

"That wasn't a search."

"Mnm...it's okay--"

"No, it's not."

Naruto made a hesitant noise before reaching out again, still keeping his distance, and lightly patted Sasuke's sides twice, then quickly retreated, "ALLLLRIGHT! Now that THAT'S settled, I can go. I have NEVER felt so safe before in my life. Ahahaha, good night." he hastily walked around Sasuke with a nervous laugh and rocketed down the hallway into his room, slamming the door. He hung his head down with slow pants, "My God, what kind of freak have I let into my home?" he muttered.

A moment later, he realized that he had forgot to provide his "guest" with blanket and pillow. Which meant that he had to go back out there.

Oh...no.

Could his life possibly SUCK anymore? He could practically HEAR God up in his chair of glory, "Hey, let's go ruin that Uzumaki kid's life!"

He heaved a sigh before yanking off his shirt and pants, changing his boxers (as his smelled unpleasantly of urinary substances) and walking back out the door to the living room, pulling out a blanket and pillow from a side closet on the way.

When he reached the room, he found Sasuke sitting on the couch with a heavy expression on his face. He lifted a brow and cautiously walked up to him, holding out the items in his fingers, "Um...I brought you stuff to sleep with."

Sasuke glanced up as Naruto placed the things beside him on the couch, his eyes traveling down his lean body and widening when they reached the spiral on the blonde's stomach.

Naruto jumped back when Sasuke abruptly shot up from the couch, "Th-that mark!"

"What?!" he panicked.

In a movement to quick for the eye to see, Sasuke dropped to his knees and grabbed Naruto's sides with his hands, yanking him forward and pressing his face to the mark on his stomach, then inhaled deeply.

Naruto's eyes bulged and a blush worked it's way up his neck, "WHOA!"

Sasuke smiled and closed his eyes, inhaling Naruto's skin again and letting out a shaky breath, then pressed his cheek against his stomach, "Dear God, you even SMELL like freedom."

Naruto paused and slowly lifted his arm, sniffing at his armpit, "I smell like what?" he blanched when Sasuke pressed closer and swirled a tongue along the spiral, "And you taste of ecstasy."

"What the--I don't do drugs if that's what you're saying!" another yelp as Sasuke smothered his face into his stomach, "I thought you were the one when I saw the marks on your face, but now I see you have this and I know for certain you were the one I was looking for."

"Dude! CALM DOWN! They're just BIRTH marks!" he gasped when Sasuke stood up suddenly and pulled off his shirt, revealing a creamy, pale chest.

Naruto's face went completely red, "Wait a minute man! Just where the hell do you think this is going?!"

Sasuke's hands lurched forward and grabbed Naruto's, pressing the blonde's palms against his chest he looked up and locked gazes with him, "I need you to repeat everything I say. Make a promise that you'll keep me as yours."

"HEY!" Naruto yanked back his hands with a shocked expression, "I don't know who the fuck you think you are, but what you're doing is not normal!"

"Just trust me, if you're ready to take me nothing bad will happen."

"To take you? What does that even mean? To sleep with you? I don't even KNOW you!"

"That's not what I'm saying. You're my way out, don't you know that?"

Naruto stared at him with a confused expression, until his eyes widened a bit, "You said you're a drifter right?"

Sasuke blinked, "Um...yeah."

"Okay, this place you...'drifted' from...did it happen to be a big, white room? And did you have to leave a pretty, matching white jacket behind?"

Sasuke scoffed, "Are you implying that I be put in a mental institution?"

Naruto smiled nervously, "Nooo, of course not buddy...I'm just...you know, asking if may be you came from one."

"No, I didn't."

"Uh...ha, well maybe tomorrow, before I go to work, we can swing by one and see if you like it. They have really soft beds--"

"I'm not insane!"

Naruto flinched at the outburst. Shit, now he had to change underwear again, "You know, that's okay, denial is always the first stage."

Sasuke sighed and rubbed a palm against his forehead, "You really don't know." he stated this as a confirmation rather than a question.

Naruto tilted his head, "Do you want to talk about your feelings Sasuke?"

The raven stared at him, "I apologize for my behavior, I got overexcited. But I see now that I have to wait and draw this out for you until you understand it."

Naruto nodded slowly, "Uh-huh, and how does that make you feel?"

Sasuke chuckled and shed his pants, flopping down on the couch, "Like you're a damn idiot, that's how it makes me feel."

Naruto's slight smile quickly changed to a scowl, "Hey Sasuke, how big is your dick?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"No, actually I was just wondering if it was long enough to go FUCK YOURSELF WITH!" he turned and stomped down the hallway back to his room.

"Good night stupid!"

Naruto slammed his door harder than necessary and turned the lock. "UP YOURS!" he yelled, before flopping on his bed and falling into a fitful sleep with a damn freak on his mind.

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I KNOW it's short

but WOW, I can see your faces:

WHAT IN THE MOTHER F-ING HELL IS GOING ON

so mission accomplished

I want you guys to know that even though this took a while to update, your reviews are what pushed me to finally do it. so reviews DO help if you want the next chapter faster.

so until next time my Fluffy Boo Boos (I DO NOT even know where that came from)