Hello you extremely patient readers! Yes, I FINALLY updated. Now I'm sure no one wants excuses but I have a valid one - or four, rather.
1st I was away from home for a while. Spent two weeks in Provo, Utah visiting family and such - a week of it spent on campus. Ate at the creamery a lot. Had several Jamba Juice smoothies. Fudge from the BYU bookstore. DAAAAAANNG twix bar fudge is good. Best week ever. But I had no internet whatsoever. So there's two weeks excuse.
Then, I came home and...I was a hobo. Our house had sold, we had moved out, and we had yet to move into the new one/purchase it. So I spent a few days as a hobo.
Then we bought a house, and moved in, and had none of our stuff for two days.
Then AT&T was supposed to come out and install internet. And they didn't. Five times. There were several angry phone calls directed at them involving lots of screaming. So after a week and a half of that, we switched to Comcast, and called AT&T back to rub it in their faces.
So basically, I haven't had any internet in over a month. Now enough excuses here it is:
When Dudley woke up the following morning, it took quite a while to remember the day's unusual schedule. He was already half way through his morning routine when he realised. He'd begun to head back to bed when he noticed Paisley's lights were on. Poking his head into her room, he found her sitting in the middle of the room wearing a black pointed hat – like a witch – and carrying a play wand – the kind with a star on the end. He stifled a chuckle and let himself in. 'Excited?'
She nodded eagerly.
'How long have you been up?'
'Never slept' she admitted sheepishly.
'I wouldn't have if I were you. I'd be far too excited. How about some breakfast? Crepes sound good?'
Paisley gave her approval, and Dudley headed off to what had always been his favourite room - the kitchen. His unhealthy relationship with food never really had been cured, just tamed a bit and redirected. Shovelling down buckets of candy and cake was far from appealing, but a nice creme brulee he would do anything for.
He'd taken a few culinary classes at the local university, but when it came time to chose a profession he went with something 'sensible'; something his dad would approve of. The knowledge from those courses was now only used to cook dinner for the kids and special treats for Sally on anniversaries and birthdays.
Dudley finished up the crepes, drizzled them in chocolate, and set them on the table for the family. Sally was down within a few minutes, quite happy to have a delicious breakfast already on the table.
'Harry will probably be here around eleven. What would you like to do until then? Only...four more hours...'
'Oh, I'm sorry Dudley. I'd forgotten I promised Donna I'd help her prepare for her big interview. You'll have to take her without me.'
'Oh...I'm sorry you'll have to miss it...'
'It's fine, really it is. I've been before. I went with Hannah every year.'
'When do you leave?'
'About now' she said, scraping up the last of the chocolate from her plate. 'We have to find her something to wear as well. You know how long that could take.' She placed her plate in the sink, gave Dudley a kiss, and ran out the door.
Harry popped in at about noon with one of his sons. 'Hey Big D. Is Paisley ready?'
Dudley rolled his eyes at the old nickname. 'She'll be out in a minute. This is James, right?'
'Yup. Ginny took everyone else through the Floo network – the fireplace, as I'm sure you remember - but I thought you should go through the front entrance. I remember my first experience with Floo powder…" he shuddered. "Wasn't pleasant."
'Harry...' Dudley began, despite feeling it to be a rather childish thing to ask. 'Harry, what if they don't like me?'
'What ever are you talking about Dudley?'
'Well, you know what I was like as a kid. And don't tell me you never complained to them about me...I know I deserved it.'
Harry chuckled. 'Dudley, that was twenty years ago! You're more than forgiven by now, trust me.'
Paisley came bounding out of her bedroom, wearing a unicorn shirt. "You like unicorns, huh?" Harry grinned. "You wanna know a secret? They're real.'
"They're REAL?''
'Yup! Seen one myself. Gorgeous creatures, they are. There are plenty in the Forbidden Forest, and every once in a while they wander out onto grounds. If you're lucky, you might get to see one. That is…if you decide to go.'
'Are you mad? Of course I'm going! Who would choose Flemmings Elementary over Hogwarts?' she exclaimed – a certain amount of reverence in her voice as she spoke the name of the wonderful school.
'Ready to go then?'
She nodded excitedly. 'So how are we getting there? Portal? Broomstick? Or do we just poof in?'
'Well normally yes. But seeing as you two can't apparate, and the Floo network is a bit dodgy, we're going the less exciting way. The train.'
So they all piled in to Dudley's car and drove to the station. Boarding a train to London hardly felt magical, but as Dudley knew nothing about magic aside from all those stupid American films his father in law made him watch, he decided to keep quiet.
'Is Sally meeting us there?" Harry asked.
'She had other arrangements.'
'Oh. Well that's a shame.'
They stepped off the train and followed Harry for several more blocks, passing many grubby hamburger bars and book shops along the way – non of them looking particularly magical. Harry stopped at one corner and pointed to a shabby looking shop across the street. 'There she is. The Leaky Caldron. The place is famous in our world.'
The smell of drunkenness filled the room and Dudley saw many questionable persons sitting at the bar. Paisley gripped his hand tighter as a toothless man passed them. Not everyone in the bar was frightening, but there were enough to scare him off.
Dudley pulled Harry to the side. 'A pub? Really,Harry? You brought my kid to a ruddy pub?'
'Relax, Dudley. Just follow me.' Harry grabbed James by the hand and headed for the back of the shop. Dudley followed him out the back door to a dead end.
'Dad, can I do it this time?'
'Sure, James. Go ahead.'
Dudley stared at the wall again. 'Do what exactly?'
James took his wand out and tapped a few of the bricks above the dustbin, muttering 'three up, two across', and stepped back. The brick he touched wriggled a bit, and a hole formed. The bricks around the hole folded inward, opening more and more until it formed a large archway ten feet high, Dudley grabbed his daughter's hand and stepped through.
A cobblestone road was laid out in front of him, starting just after the 'dead end', leading to a large array of various shops. Everyone was dressed in wizard robes, owls sat in cages carried by dozens of children, and he thought he saw a three-eyed cat in a window.
'So...where do we start?'
Harry laughed. 'A bit much, isn't it? Well, come on then. Ron and Hermione are waiting by Olivander's.'
Paisley gripped his hand tighter as they approached the red headed man and the curly haired woman. The woman ran up and hugged Harry, and the ginger did the same.
'Oi! Harrry! Who's this bloke?'
'Ron, this is my cousin, Dudley. Paisley - his daughter - received a letter yesterday.'
'Ohh I do love Muggleborns. Their reactions are priceless' Ron laughed.
'We need to head to Gringotts first. Dudley, Paisley, this way please.'
They walked through Diagon Alley, passing shop after shop, witch after witch, and Dudley felt there was more to see than one could possibly see all at once. He felt like a kid in a candy shop, discovering more flavours and sweets than thought possible. He could only imagine what Paisley was thinking.
The cobblestone path came to an end at the great marble steps of a slightly slanted building with a sign that said 'GRINGOTTS'.
As they neared the steps, Dudley rushed to catch up with Harry. 'What is Gringotts?'
'The wizard bank.' He paused with his hand on the door and turned back to him. 'Dudley, Paisley…don't…freak out.'
'I think we can handle a bank, Harry.'
'Yes, Dudley…I'm sure you can. Just…be warned.' Harry opened the door and led them inside.
Dudley had never seen anything like it. Behind those golden doors were a long line of desks, each hosting a small man with a large nose and long witch-like fingernails.
'…Harry?'
'They're goblins.'
'Goblins?'
'Goblins. Time to get your money.'
Harry led them up to the front desk, where a goblin with an especially squished face and large nose sat. He looked up from his notes at Dudley, with a look full of distaste. Then he turned his attention to Harry. 'Mr Potter. So…nice to see you.'
'Morning, Warwick. Always a pleasure.'
'Will you be making a withdrawal?'
'Not yet. First, my cousin here needs to make an exchange.'
'Right away, sir. Second desk on the left. Good day, Mr Potter.'
Harry pulled Dudley and Paisley to the desk. 'Go make your exchanged.'
Dudley handed the goblin a handful of various bills and was handed a small sack of gold, silver, and bronze coins. He pulled one out of the bag, rolling it around in his hands, and Paisley took one herself. It looked as though it was straight from Jack Sparrow's treasure chest.
'Dad, what are these?'
'Your new form of money. We'll use it to buy your school things.'
Harry was back by the main desk, talking to the head goblin. 'Thank you, Warwick.'
'Harry, I got the money' he handed him the sack.
'Knuts are the little brown ones. Silver are sickles and the gold are galleons. Twenty-nine knuts to a sickle, seventeen sickles to a galleon. Got it?'
'I think so.'
'Good. Now it's time for mine. Want to see the vault?'
Dudley and Paisley followed Harry and the goblin to a small, goblin sized cart and climbed inside. Then, very suddenly, the cart took off. Paisley grabbed onto Dudley, he grabbed onto Harry, and they both held on for dear life.
The cart came to a stop. 'Vault 687' the goblin called. Dudley stepped out the cart, feeling dizzy and nauseous. Paisley ran to his side. 'Dad, are you okay?'
'What? Oh…yeah. I'm...I'm fine. I'll be fine.'
The goblin took a key out of his pocket and opened the vault.
Harry was rich.
There were piles and piles of those same gold coins. Columns of them lined the back wall, along with piles of silver coins and little heaps of the bronze ones. How long had he had all that money? Why, he could have bought himself his own house and moved out by the time he was eleven!
Harry grabbed and bagged a handful of coins and headed back for the cart. 'You need a second?'
'No…no I'm fine. Let's just get back to the surface.' He climbed back in and the cart went flying back up the track.
It wasn't quite as bad on the way up. It was just as fast; just as nauseating. But this time at least he knew what was going to happen.
The cart stopped at the top of the track, and Dudley was very happy to get off. Everyone was waiting outside the bank. 'So…how was the cart ride? Lose his breakfast?' James asked.
Harry, ignoring the question, started for another shop.
After picking up her caldron and potion ingredients, they headed for Madame Malkins. Paisley was told to stand up on a stool while the woman pinned the robes to the right length.
'Dudley, Ron and I are going to head next door and buy the new school books. Would you care to join us? Ginny will stay with her – Albus needs robes as well.'
Dudley obliged and followed them into the book store. Harry went up to the counter and requested all the books they needed – two of each – while Dudley looked around. On one shelf was a cage with several big, fuzzy books inside. As he bent down to read the sign, the books sprang to life and began snapping at him, growling as they did; and they had teeth! He jumped back a few feet in fright. Monster book of Monsters. He was nearly positive that wasn't a popular choice.
Next to the monster books were piles of curse books. Curses and Counter curses - Bewitch your Friends and Befuddle your Enemies with the Latest Revenges: Volume Six.
Out of curiosity, he began flipping through the book. Just as he found one mildly entertaining - one that he certainly didn't want Paisley learning, Harry tore him away to head to the next place.
Ginny and Hermione were waiting outside with the kids. 'I think we just have Ollivanders left. It's a rather small shop though. We can't all go in at once.' Ginny said. 'Harry, I took James. You go ahead and take Albus and Paisley.'
'I've saved the best for last, Paisley. You'll love it. Ollivander is the best, I promise.' Harry opened the door to the shop.
The walls were lined with shelves, each full of small, rectangular boxes. On the right end of the room was a small desk where a man with wispy silver hair stood watching them. 'Good afternoon' he said, crossing the room to greet them. He moved quite slowly, with crude joints that hardly seemed to work. Dudley wondered if wizards ever retire because, by Muggle standards, Mr Ollivander's retirement was long overdue. The man was ancient! How old exactly he had no idea, but he would have guessed at least eighty.
'Harry Potter…it seems like only yesterday you were here buying your first wand. Eleven inches of holly, with a phoenix feather…of course it seems like even less time since you broke me out of the Mannor. I see you turned out all right.'
'Always a pleasure seeing you Ollivander. Ginny said something about your hip acting up. How have you been feeling?'
'Oh I'm just getting old, that's all. Planning on retirement soon enough. I'm training an apprentice, you see. David, my nephew.' The man then turned to James. 'Ah, I remember you as well. Now weren't you a tricky one? Your father wasn't there that day…work I presume. But your mother and I spent quite some time dodging wayward drawers and boxes. Just like your grandfather – your namesake even. But we found the wand for you eventually. Ten inch mahogany with a dragon heartstring – same combination as your grandfather actually. Funny how things turn out.' Albus was next. 'Albus Potter. I knew you'd be coming soon. You have your father's eyes, you know, Your grandmother had those same eyes. I'll be selling you a wand very soon. This is a big step you know. Your first wand...' Finally, he turned his attention to Paisley, hunching over to meet her at eye level. 'And you…I can't say that I've met you before.' He straightened his back to look at Dudley, his silver eyes never blinking. 'You either. I never sold you a wand. Did you go through a different wand maker? Oh, nonsense. You don't look foreign. And everyone local comes though here.' He bent back down to Paisley. 'That must mean you're a muggleborn. Muggleborns are always the most fun – or even ones like Harry who just never knew. We'll let you go first then. Albus, do you mind?'
'Not at all.'
'Good, very good. Now David, why don't I let you take this one?'
David hopped up from his stool. 'Okay, step up front here for a moment. What is your wand arm?'
'My what?'
'Are you right handed?'
She nodded slowly.
David grabbed her right wrist and pulled it outwards, measuring her arm from shoulder to finger, then each segment of her arm separately – which Dudley understood perfectly. But then it began measuring the circumference of her head and the width of her armpit, and he became quite confused. 'Harry…what's this got to do with wands?'
'I never did understand this part…the simple explanation? It's magic' he said with a grin.
The measuring tape continued to measure odd parts of her body as David began to look through the shelves. 'Now…er….' his voice trailed off, searching for a name.
'Paisley.'
'Yes, Paisley. Now Paisley, every Ollivander wand has a core of a powerful magical substance' he said, perfectly reciting Ollivander's speech. 'We have unicorn hairs, phoenix tail feathers and the heartstrings of dragons. No two Ollivander wands are the same, just as no two unicorns, dragons or phoenixes are quite the same. And of course, you will never get such good results with another witch or wizard's wand' he explained, the last bit coming out with a grunt as he climbed back down the latter with a large pile of boxes. 'Let's get started, shall we?'
He handed her the first wand. 'Oak with dragonheart string' he explained. 'Well go on, then. Try it out.'
'Give it a swish' Harry whispered.
Paisley swished it around a few times, but nothing happened. 'Nope' he ripped the wand out of her hands.
'Cherry and phoenix feather.'
The moment she touched the wand an entire row of wands flew off the shelf, paper and boxes fluttering about the room.
'No no...that's not it.'
He picked up the only box that remained on the shelf and handed it to her. 'Ash and unicorn hair.'
This time, the tip of the wand glowed and a bright light filled the room. 'Wonderful, yes you've found it! Well...I suppose it found you. The wand chooses the wizard' he said proudly, looking to Ollivander for approval.
'What do you mean by that?'
'Only that this wand thinks you're perfect for it. It wanted you from the beginning.' And with that he boxed up the wand, rung it up, and dismissed them.
Albus took only one try to get the right one. Walnut and dragonheart string. Dudley was almost disappointed. The trip to Diagon Alley was coming to a close.
As they began to head for the exit, Ginny called to them. 'Dudley, Mum is having the family for dinner on Sunday. We'd be delighted if you could come. Sally as well! I would love to meet her.'
'I would love to come. Thank you!'
Dudley and Paisley spent the train ride home laughing about all the strange things they'd seen, looking over her new supplies, and - most importantly - drooling over her new wand. By the time they arrived back to the house, Dudley was sure of it. This was by far his favourite day he'd had in a long time.
He practically skipped into the house. 'Sally! We're back!'
'Dudders!'
So thank you to all the new readers. I always do enjoy seeing new alerts.
Thank you for reading!
