First Kiss
A Stargate Atlantis Fanfic

Original Publish Date: 30 September 2008
Rewrite Publish Date: 13 November 2013

Warnings: Language, Suggestive Content


NOTE: This story has been rewritten since its original publication. If you are re-reading this story, you should start back at Part I!


Someone had set up a timer out there. It had almost reached fourteen hours.

Not that they needed to. Both McKay and Sheppard had watches and both were hyper aware of just how much time they had been in each other's company.

At the moment, John was kneeled in front of Rodney, who was irritably batting at the flashlight in his hand. It took a colossal effort on John's part to keep from just knocking him back out.

Keller was having John check the scientist and report his systems. Rodney was just cranky that he had been woken up so John could see if his pupils were dilated.

"Rodney, just let Colonel Sheppard check your eyes, please?" John wasn't sure why Keller sounded so weary. She wasn't the one having to deal with him.

"Suck it up, McKay." John rolled his eyes at Ronon's comment. He might have chuckled at it, oh, maybe six hours ago. But right now, the weary thought that came to mind was, yeah, thanks, that's making this so much easier.

Ronon had since returned, this time bringing Teyla. For moral support, John supposed. Actually he suspected Teyla had forced the Satedan to come back. John was pretty sure it wasn't Ronon's idea; the former Runner sounded utterly bored.

Going through the motions, John reached for Rodney's wrist. As soon as Rodney realized, he gave Sheppard a weird look and yanked it back.

"What are you doing?"

"Checking your pulse."

"I'm pretty sure I still have one."

"That could be fixed." John managed to snag Rodney's arm again as the other paused to try to retort. John leveled a flat look at him. "Stop fidgeting." Then, as Rodney was clearly not listening: "Oh relax. I'm not the 'holding hands' type."

"Really? 'Cause you seem awfully touchy-feely to me."

John glanced at his watch, trying to ignore Rodney's muttering. He counted silently.

After a full minute, he keyed his radio. "121."

The number was met with a sigh from Keller, though she confessed, "That's about what I expected."

Meanwhile, Rodney squirmed out of John's grasp again, fixing him with a none-too-friendly look. "Great," he ground out. "My impending demise is expected. That's a comfort. I think you broke my wrist," he added for Sheppard's benefit.

This time it was Teyla who tried to calm Rodney down; she was the only one with any patience left. "Rodney. You are not dying."

"And I seriously doubt your wrist is broken." Keller sounded distracted.

Rodney was not being put off this time, though. "It's getting worse!"

"Yes," the doctor admitted. "Your symptoms are getting worse. Slowly. You're still not in any danger yet." This time, though, there was hesitation in Keller's voice that she was too tired to mask.

"Yet," Rodney echoed darkly.

Things were actually quiet for a few minutes after that. The next thing John and Rodney heard was Keller berating someone through the radio— surprisingly, not one of them.

Then came Lorne's voice— faint, picked up by someone else's radio. "Sorry— sorry ma'am."

"No, it's okay." This time it was Carter, who sounded groggy, as though just awoken.

"You were only asleep for an hour and a half, you need to rest more," Keller was insisting. She seemed to have forgotten that her radio was on.

"I could say the same." This time, Colonel Carter seemed amused.

Keller tried to force some of the same mirth into her voice. "What, and miss this? This is grade-A entertainment."

Ronon threw in, "I know, right?"

And Teyla's expected rebuke: "Ronon."

John and Rodney's eyes met briefly; for once, they seemed to share the same disgruntled sentiment. Rodney just rolled his eyes and looked away.

"Am I the only one who is here because I am needed?" Radek's question was met with a few chuckles.

"Oh come on, Radek." Carter's murmur seemed distracted. "You're as much a voyeur as the rest of us."

Okay, John was stopping that line of conversation right there — "You know, we can still hear you."

There was an awkward pause, before Keller must have realized her radio was transmitting. "Oh!Whoops."

"So what brings you back, Major?" This time, they could hear Carter's voice clearly; she had turned her radio on as well. Easier to keep them in the loop now than to have to repeat information later. Also, John and Rodney tended to get more tense and snippy the longer things were silent.

Lorne's voice was coming through crisp as well, having taken his cue from the colonel. "I just wanted to check on things myself… Also, I was talking with the engineering crew. They're confident they could cut through the bulkhead."

Both men inside the compartment shifted restlessly at that. The idea had been bandied about earlier; it had not been met with favor. Even if by some miracle the cutting torch didn't set either of them on fire, there was a chance that it would burn up the breathable air. Rodney, of course, had been the one to present that disturbing possibility.

It seemed they weren't the only ones with that thought, as Teyla asked, "Without hurting Rodney or John?"

Lorne sighed. "There's risk involved, but we're getting short on options."

That had proved to be the fault of the computer program. It seemed it could actively combat Radek and Carter's efforts, and the only other viable idea they had had was to try to shut down the computer itself. It had proceeded to flush the atmosphere in the compartment between them and its processing core.

They had decided that cutting through those doors wasn't a good option either.

After a considered moment, John posed a question. "What if it just hurts one of us?"

Rodney wasn't having it. "Allow me to heartily veto that suggestion."

"No," Carter agreed, though reluctantly.

"Do you have any better ideas?" Oh yeah. Ronon was bored. And grumpy.

There was something that had occurred to John a few hours before. He knew how Rodney would react, which was what had held his tongue. But at this point, why the hell not?

John was sure to activate his radio first, before stridently declaring: "Open the pod bay doors, Hal."

He got no less than three separate responses back, all of them some variation of "I'm sorry, I can't do that." Now, Carter and Zelenka he had expected; Keller was a bit of a surprise. John didn't have the opportunity to wonder about it; he was a little preoccupied with ducking as Rodney had just flung something at his head.

"Of all the imbecilic, utterly childish, infuriating—"

Oh, yes. He had a feeling he might push Rodney over the edge with that one.

"—people to end up stuck with— you are a complete, immature, arrogant and moronic asshole!"

John figured the best course of action was to let Rodney run himself out. So after a pause in the slew of insults, he asked, "You finished? …Frankly, I expected better."

"No," was the snapped reply. "I'm just taking a break. Also," and this disbelieving comment was directed at Jennifer: "You got '2001: A Space Odyssey', but not 'Star Trek'?"

Sheppard tuned out the conversation going on over thee radios, pulling his legs in so he could stand up. Rodney turned an annoyed look on him; "Just stretching my legs," John insisted defensively.

"Could you stretch on that side of the compartment," Rodney sniped, "and not where you might step on me?"

John narrowed his eyes, biting down on the first response that came to mind, which was to deliberately step on Rodney's outstretched leg. Knowing his luck, he would trip and fall on top of the scientist. Instead, he gave McKay a cool look. "You get jumpy when you're hungry?" The appraising look returned, then. "How are you doing?"

"I have spontaneously and completely recovered." John rolled his eyes, but Rodney wasn't finished. "Tell me, do your brains rattle around in there when you move too fast, or are they too small to make any sound?"

Sheppard shot a narrow eyed glare at the scientist, then shook his head. This was getting them no where. He leaned back against the wall, rolling his head to either side to stretch his neck, thoughts racing.

They were making this too complicated. The simplest, fastest way to get the door open was for the AI do it. That was what they needed to focus on.

"…Hey! You can still hear us, right?"

"Of course we can still hear you…"

"Not you guys," Sheppard dismissed with a quick gesture, "the computer."

"I am, of course, still present."

John did his best to ignore the all too suspicious stare he was getting from Rodney. "This 'exercise' thing. What do you want us to do?"

"Are you seriously going to try to talk to this thing again?" Rodney's voice was weary with frustration.

John turned an annoyed look on the other man. "Well we've been in here for more than fourteen hours—"

"Oh really, I had completely forgot—"

"—And you haven't exactly come up with any good ideas either," John concluded with a glare.

Any further argument was forestalled as the AI started speaking again. "The intent of this exercise is repairing the interpersonal relationship—"

"No," Sheppard cut it off. "More specific."

There was a pregnant pause, and John got the impression that he had caught the thing off guard.

"This exercise has… not been conducted before." It sounded almost confused. "…No specific parameters have been established…"

Rodney had grown wide eyed and was hissing at John, "Would you stop messing with the crazy computer program?" John hastily waved a hand at the other man to shut up, which was rewarded with a very offended expression.

Instead, he made an offer: "Would you take a gesture of goodwill and extreme personal sacrifice?"

More silence. Then:

"…That would at least be a step towards progress… Yes."

John gave a noncommittal noise, from somewhere down in his throat. He shifted back and forth; he probably would have paced, had there been space.

Rodney eyed him suspiciously. Whatever Sheppard was mentally debating could only mean more mind-numbing stupidity that he would have to endure. Before he could try to squash whatever asinine idea the other man had come up with this time, Sheppard paused in his restless movements.

This was just too much for Rodney to let go without comment. "…If the gears in your head grind any harder, you're going to set your overly-gelled head on fire."

John's response was a narrow eyed, not-completely-decipherable look. Several seemingly conflicting emotions flashed across his face. But mostly, John just seemed pissed.

That was not a good expression— not coming from Sheppard— but Rodney was given no chance to figure it out as the other man growled, "Oh, fuck this."

All of a sudden Sheppard dropped to one knee right in front of him and seized his tac vest.

Then kissed him.


On the other side of the camera feed, Sheppard's odd behavior had not escaped notice; Carter had said nothing at first to allow him to talk to the AI without interruption.

Movement on screen caught her attention, though, and she turned to look, making Radek follow her gaze. His brow furrowed. "What is Colonel Sheppard doing?"

That caught everyone's attention, even as Sam muttered, "I'm not sure, let me..." But then Sheppard was grabbing Rodney's vest and Sam only had the time to get out, "What the— what is he..."

The question never actually got finished, just trailed off into stunned silence. Radek didn't even notice his glasses slipping off his nose, he just watched, slightly slack-jawed. Jennifer tried to form a coherent sentence, but all that came out was, "Oh… my…"

No one else even tried to come up with something; the six of them just sat there, staring at the small computer screen in disbelief.