Chapter 4

Jane was five years old.

The first year Sparatus had her, he did his best to teach her. First, he taught her the legends of old. About the titans, who held the sky away from the earth. Of the heroic sisters who sacrificed their lives for their people during a meteor shower, and how the titans had rewarded them by turning them into the two moons of Palaven—the eldest and largest, Menae, and the youngest and smallest, Nanus. He had told her of each titan he could remember about—and the one Garrus was named after, who would throw the sun from the northwest, to be caught by its parent, Facinus.

Jane had gotten interested in her own kind's history incredibly quickly, and that was when he had remembered Anderson's suggestion of introducing her to Fa Mulan. Mulan had been a tale of honor and camaraderie similar to the story of Spartacus, about a woman who took the place of her father during a war, dressed as a man. Jane had absolutely loved it, and the next time Garrus had come over for a play date she had insisted that she was Mulan and kept throwing carrots at him. Garrus retaliated by throwing lemons at her, because he was Garrus, and Garrus threw the sun around. It probably made more sense in their heads.

Other lessons were more difficult. Jane had no care for mathematics, and was more interested in talking at every opportunity. One day she had even walked around without her translator on speaking in the galactic common tongue at him, which was a problem because he hadn't used the galactic common in years and had forgotten most of his vocabulary. He had no idea where to start with science, and his grasp of the social sciences was quite limited.

Another issue was Jane's discipline. Once, Sparatus had found that Jane had drawn on the walls, in a large line of red, green, and blue crayons. It was easily washable, but he had told her not to do that and she had begun to cry. He looked more closely at one of her drawings and found she had drawn a circle with sticks underneath it in red, and next to it was a blue triangle with similar sticks. When Sparatus had asked, she said that the red one was her, and the blue one was him.

It was difficult not only because she needed to understand boundaries, but he didn't want to make her feel hurt. He had done his best to avoid hitting the child, but he did raise his voice and give her looks. Those seemed to work more for her, but it was going more gradually than he would prefer. Not to mention he had to deal with cleaning up after that varren pup.

Whenever that pup was in the same room as she was, she would squeal and jump and play and flail and he had to abandon all hope of teaching her anything. He just outright failed to keep her attention for anything that wasn't playing. He didn't know how to turn education into play, and that blasted varren kept interrupting his thought processes and note-taking. It was a miracle he hadn't thrown Urz (that was what Jane had decided to name him after much prodding) out one of the giant windows yet.

Not only that, but he was exhausted with his job. Because, of course, Din Korlak tried his hardest to get a volus into the Spectres when none of the potentials he put forth had any experience in law enforcement other than funding them. Even the hanar understood the requirements for possible Spectre candidates, sending in only able-bodied drell who had done remarkable things within their own societies.

But of course, Din was being a curmudgeonly idiot and insisting that there was racism inherent in the system. That wasn't even mentioning that he was trying to submit possible Spectre candidates when the Council wasn't even petitioning for any at this time. But Tevos was coddling him and encouraging him to edit his suggestions and reconsider. Valern was in little position to comment, no doubt deferring to the will of the dalatrasses in the Salarian Union.

It was then, in Sparatus' most frustrated state of mind, that he took a step back from his paperwork in his office and walked upstairs to the collection of Serrated Blades. Each one had unique grooves, each retelling the history of that individual. He didn't have all of the blades; quite a few were in the custody of his parents and other family members; but those he did he kept in pristine condition. Normally the grooves were included posthumously by artisans and particulars who had been trained to understand what each groove meant. Sparatus himself had only a passing understanding of them, but an understanding of tradition was enough for him.

Along with the Serrated Blades, there was one blade in the center that represented Sparatus himself. His had no grooves, but he had carved his name to the hilt. Normally, his would be with the others, with the hilt toward the right and the blade toward the left, following the way the sun rose in Gothis Colony; from the East to the West. But this was a special occasion.

Sparatus picked up his blade, and held onto it with two hands. He lifted the blade to his forehead, where he believed his connection to the spirits resided, and placed it on its space in the center, pointed upwards. Quietly, he bowed his head forward, and held his hands behind his back.

He was peering and poking around for the spirit of the Citadel Council, and praying to it. He didn't have to fiddle with his blades to pray, but he liked to. It had been his favorite part of his visits to his grandfather, so it was his way of honoring him. He appealed to the spirit to rekindle his loyalty and pride in his work, and to grant him patience for the diplomats and ambassadors who were difficult to deal with.

In particular, he had asked for guidance on which of his council peers he could trust to help him with Jane. Should he speak to Valern? Salarians were notorious for their skill in educating children quickly and efficiently, no matter the species. Valern could certainly point him in the right direction for a homeschool teacher. However, Valern was notoriously weak-willed with such sensitive decisions, always deferring to the wills of the dalatrasses…

But perhaps Tevos could also help? A feminine perspective could help immensely, not to mention the experience with children Tevos had, having homeschooled her own daughters for two hundred years. However, she was also busy with her own council duties, and would probably face the same problems he was facing. Perhaps a contact of hers could assist?

"Ohhhhmmmmm…"

Sparatus jolted out of his reverie, and peered down toward the sudden voice. Jane was sitting on the ground, her legs bent in what seemed to be an awkward angle to him, her hands on her knees, palms upward, and her eyes were closed. She kept making that strange chanting sound, smiling widely. Sparatus had absolutely no idea what she was doing.

"Jane?"

"Yup?" Jane asked, looking up at him as though what she was doing was completely normal. Her vibrant green eyes reminded Sparatus that perhaps, for human culture, it was.

"What are you doing?"

"Meditating, like Mister Buddhist!" She said, then started gesticulating with her arms. "His name was Huan-Jia and momma said that his great-grandparents came from China, and because of that he would meditate."

"I… see…?" Sparatus didn't, actually. He didn't even know what 'meditating' was. He would have to look it up later. "Why are you meditating?" Sparatus asked.

"Because you were doing the same thing Mister Buddhist was doing!" Jane said. "You were doing the same wavy arm thing with that knife that Huan-Jia did with the stick!" Jane said, as though that would explain everything. Suddenly, Sparatus understood what she meant. She had seen him begin to pray to the spirits, and she was trying to copy him.

"Jane, if you wanted to pray to the spirits with me, you could have asked." He said. Jane tilted her head in what he could only assume was confusion.

"You said that the spirits weren't people. So why do you pray to them?" Sparatus shook his head. This certainly wasn't helping him reconnect with the spirit of the Citadel Council.

"How about this, Jane? You do as I do, and you stay silent throughout it, okay?" Sparatus said. Jane jumped up from the ground and shook her head up and down vigorously. Sparatus had no idea what that meant, but he hoped it was a 'yes'. Sparatus picked up his knife from the center again, and Jane ran up to the swords and reached for a blade as well. He gripped her hand away and Jane squealed.

"Not that one, Jane. It isn't yours." He said.

"But I can't reach the one you picked up!" Jane said.

"The one I picked up is mine. My father gave it to me when I left for the military, so it belongs to me."

"Can I have one, then? So I can do what you do?"

"No, not until you're of age."

"And when is that?"

"When you are twelve and three years old."

"But then how am I supposed to do what you do?" Sparatus looked down at her, and placed his blade in accordance with the others. He knelt down and gripped one of Jane's small, chubby hands. He lifted it up with his, and split her four digits into two groups, to better match his three fingers.

"You use your thumb and your first two fingers." He pulled down the last two fingers on her hand to demonstrate. He stood up and began to demonstrate for her, ignoring his blade and using his fingers. "First you bring your thumb and forefingers to the top of your head." He demonstrated. Jane copied the motion, bowing her head just as he did and keeping her other fingers tight against her palm. "Then you reach out, sending a signal that you want a spirit to listen to you.

"Once you've done that, you put your hands behind your back and tilt forward, like this." Jane followed his motions as best she could, having never done it before.

"What do I do now?"

"You talk to the spirits in your mind."

"About what?"

"Ask them to help you connect with other people or places. Connections help keep relations peaceful and alive." Jane didn't say anything after that. She copied his motions again, with her fingers and thumb, and then bowed quietly. Sparatus continued to pray for a moment, before Jane started fidgeting and he decided to stop.

Sparatus was at least successful in receiving his guidance. He would speak to her in the morning. She would certainly know someone who could help him, or know someone who knew someone. Her list of contacts was great, and she would certainly keep her mouth shut about the situation. At least, he hoped Tevos would.


Shiala entered the apartment respectfully. As Sparatus expected, Tevos didn't have time on her own to care and educate Jane. However, she did have a contact with Matriarch Benezia, one of the wisest asari matriarchs and scholars active today. Matriarch Benezia herself had a personal mission in place, but one of her acolytes had agreed to teach Sparatus' ward in her stead.

"Thank you for coming, Shiala. You have no idea how much help this is." Sparatus said. Shiala smiled.

"No thanks are necessary. I'm more than willing to assist Matriarch Benezia in any capacity I can. It is much more fulfilling than other occupations I have tried. Now," She mused, "where is your ward?"

"Ah, yes. Just a moment." Sparatus said. He brought in a deep breath, and whistled loudly. Shiala cringed a little at the volume, but made no other acknowledgment. Then suddenly, Urz the varren jumped out of the kitchen and scrambled over to Sparatus and Shiala. Shiala lashed out with a biotic stasis field, and Urz was stuck in his tracks.

"Sorry! Sorry!" Jane repeated, running down in much the same way Urz had. When she saw Urz glowing blue and floating through the air, she screamed and ran behind one of the Palavenian plants near the stairs. Sparatus shook his head.

"Jane, come here." Jane poked her head out from behind the plant, but didn't make any other movement. "Now, Jane." Sparatus said. Jane ran toward Sparatus and stood next to Urz, holding her hands close and looking at Urz at every possible opportunity.

"Shiala, this is Jane." Sparatus said. "Her mother, Systems Alliance Captain Hannah Shepard left her under my care in a human ritual. I'd… rather not get into the details." Shiala nodded, though her gills in the back of her neck flared a little in confusion. "And uh, that is Urz. Jane's pet." He continued. Shiala smiled.

"I'm glad you are considering her happiness as well as her education, Councilor." With that, she removed her stasis field from around Urz and Urz flopped onto the ground, struggling for purchase on the hardwood floors. Jane pet Urz with her hand to calm him down. How did she get so good with animals? Was it just some sort of talent she had?

"My name is Shiala, Jane." She said, crouching down to meet Jane's gaze. "I'm here to teach you."

"Teach me?" Jane said.

"That's right. You and I are going to meet four out of the six days of the galactic week, and we're going to learn about all sorts of things. History, art, philosophy, mathematics, science…" Shiala was smiling. Jane's eyes widened, but her eyebrows furrowed. Sparatus got worried.

"I'll still be around to help you with your schoolwork, Jane." Sparatus said, trying to calm her nerves. "But I need to leave the house sometimes, and I can't teach you and work at the same time anymore. You understand."

Jane started to cry. Evidently, she did not understand at all. Sparatus was taken aback, and the varren pup quickly started sniffing at Jane vehemently and howling in distress. Shiala stayed kneeling, but looked up at Sparatus with worry. Sparatus tensed, not knowing what was happening.

"Jane, what's wrong?" Sparatus asked, kneeling down himself. Jane continued to cry, wailing and turning red in the face. She rubbed her fists against her eyes, trying to wipe away the water that would come out when she was truly upset.

"Is—she… she is… is she…" She hiccupped. Shiala looked concerned. Was Jane afraid of the asari somehow? That made little sense… "Is she here to be my… my momma?" She finally choked out. Sparatus' mandibles twitched in surprise, and Shiala's eyebrows lifted.

"No, no of course not, Jane. Why would you think that?" Shiala said comfortingly. Jane continued to sniffle.

"Be-because… yesterday when, when Spartacus said I could keep momma alive with the spirits, I, I asked them to… to bring momma back and…" she sniffed, pausing a significant amount of time. Sparatus still didn't understand. The spirits couldn't change the world or grant wishes, just help confirm emotions or clear your thoughts…

"Why do you think I would replace your mother, Jane?" Shiala asked, glancing at Sparatus every once in a while.

"Because, because my momma would teach me things all the time, and she was a girl like you are, and and…" Sparatus lifted an arm to reach for her shoulder. It was one of the most intimate gestures he could give to a child, similar to what he had seen some humans doing back on that planet when he met Hannah, embracing each other with both arms… turians didn't do that, but he hoped the sentiment would show regardless.

"Your mother can't come visit you, Jane." Sparatus said. "She's dead. She can't come back."

"Does… does my momma still love me?" She asked. Sparatus didn't know what to say. When a person died they just stayed dead. He was only just learning about some human beliefs, such as ghosts. It didn't make a lick of sense to him, but he couldn't say that Jane's mother didn't love her.

"Jane, your mother loved you so much that she sent you to be with someone she trusts. If she could, I know she would love you more and more every day." Shiala explained. Jane said nothing, so Shiala continued. "I'm not here to be your mother, Jane. I'm just here to be your teacher. We don't have to be friends if you don't want to be."

"But… but momma said I should be nice with everyone I can." Jane said, sniffing.

"Then honor her wishes and be as kind as you can. Just like I am." Sparatus said. Jane looked at him and suddenly ran into his neck, gripping it as though she was going to snap his neck with her thinning arms. She cried into his neck, and Sparatus hadn't a clue what to do. Shiala gripped his hand and motioned for him to rub her back, not saying a word.

When Jane felt better, he washed her face and sat in to her first lesson with Shiala. Once that was done, Shiala told Sparatus that she was in competent, caring hands, and to never doubt himself about raising a good girl. Sparatus thanked her for the sentiment and left to help Jane prepare for bed. Sparatus stopped just before leaving her bedroom, gazing at her, cuddled up with Urz and gripping tightly against Teddy the Terminator (the same bear she had when she had first slept there one year ago). Sparatus didn't realize he was smiling until later.