Chapter 5

The first time Sparatus had ever officially panicked was when Jane was seven years old. Garrus was going to have his lia'alediy celebration, but Jane couldn't go. No matter how many times he explained it to her—that he couldn't be seen outside his home with a human child, that his reputation as a Councilor might be sullied, that the political reaction to a human attending a turian celebration might foster even more hostility between species. But she wouldn't hear it. She wanted to be there for his celebration, even if it was a public celebration, and not a private one like the one he had held for her own lia'alediy.

She had screamed and punched him. Thankfully, Sparatus' lessons actually meant something to her, and they both went to the small sparring ring for the first time. She cried and hit him as much as she could, accusing him of keeping a 'secret daughter' and saying she hated him. He had done his best to keep his own anger from boiling over and seriously hurting her. He had failed, and injured her shoulder, leaving it bleeding profusely.

He called over his private doctor immediately and made him swear not to spread the news around. He had come swiftly, and helped stop the bleeding as quickly as he could, but he was still quite surprised at the human in his household (and the varren. Nobody ever ignores the stinking varren hanging around giving weird looks). Sparatus had called off most of his meetings that week, citing exhaustion as a health reason and looking around for a private, human doctor for Jane.

The second time he had panicked was when Jane was nine. She had been feeling ill around her abdominal area for a few days, and then all of a sudden she screamed. Sparatus had ran into the bathroom, and he found that Jane was bleeding from her… unmentionable area. There was absolutely no explanation for it, and Sparatus scrambled for the same new doctor he had looked around for two years prior.

Doctor Michel was kind and understanding, and had a quiet little clinic down in the Tayseri Ward not far from the C-Sec Academy. When she came over, Dr. Michel explained that Jane was going through human adolescence, and that human females in particular shed the internal uterine lining used to prepare for childbirth every month or so, for about a week. Sparatus had all but fainted at this explanation, at once marveling that a human female could lose so much blood and not die of blood loss and shoving as many nuts and bones into his gizzard as he could to keep from vomiting. Again.

It had been a long time since then, however, and now Jane was eleven years old. She was soon to reach the age of twelve, and she would celebrate her second lia'alediy soon. It was most likely to be a private celebration again, with only those he trusted with the secret attending; Shiala, Dr. Michel, Irilisas Narem (his secretary, and the woman who alerted him to the situation with Jane all those years ago), and the Vakarian family. Jane had hit off very easily with Solana Vakarian, despite the age gap giving So a predictable air of haughtiness and intimidation. Jane hadn't been fazed, and merely marveled at how short So's fringe was in comparison to her younger brother's. And at how she was at least one head taller than she was.

Jane was eating her breakfast—a nice plate of thin meat strips called 'bacon' and some unfertilized eggs from a species of poultry (she had given the orange fruit he had included to Urz)—when the topic of gifts came up. One of Shiala's xeno-anthropology lessons taught Jane that at human celebrations, much of the festivities included dressing up, engaging in rituals such as slicing pastries or lighting candles, and exchanging gifts. Jane had asked Sparatus if he was going to give her a gift this time. Normally at turian celebrations, dancing and singing took place, as well as copious amounts of binging on sweet foods and alcohol (for those of legal drinking age).

Sparatus arranged his fingers in a steeple formation, a form of body language he had picked up from the salarians years ago. He had considered it good policy to adopt body language of other cultures that suited him. In particular, he had adopted the finger-steeple (denoting thought) from the salarians, the ramrod-straight observance (denoting courtesy and curiosity) from the asari, and the air-quotes (denoting disbelief or sarcasm) from the humans.

"That depends on what you would like to receive." Sparatus responded. Jane continued to quietly munch her breakfast, staring into her eggs as though the ghosts of the chicken abortions would assist her. Sparatus was personally terrified of the idea—when someone died they should stay dead, their memories living on through the actions of their comrades and family members. But Jane had found a significant amount of comfort in the idea of individuals continuing to live after they died, so Sparatus indulged her.

When consulting Shiala about it, she had said that humans as a species were individualistic and ambitious, and most of their afterlife beliefs included some form of continuing the work they did in life personally. Some believed that they were reborn to another body, similar to the salarian Wheel of Life, while others believed that a soul distinct from the body would separate from the dead person and wander unseen, not unlike the traditional drell polytheism. Believing in ghosts helped Jane come to terms with the death of her mother, Shiala explained.

"I don't really think I want anything." Jane said. Sparatus nodded.

"Then I don't think I could get you a gift." Quiet fell between them again. Sparatus glanced down at his datapad filled with appeals, letters, and the occasional spam message about the Enkindlers. None of them really felt important right now, though.

"Shiala says that a gift doesn't have to be an object." Jane said. "The asari share gifts too, and Shiala said gifts can be thoughts or stories too."

"Would you like me to tell you a story?" Sparatus asked.

"Well, not really… I mean…" Jane set her fork down and stared so intently at her breakfast that Sparatus almost thought she was going to start shooting lasers through her eyes. He waited patiently, switching his datapad off for the moment. He had a feeling this was important.

"What was she like?" Jane asked. Sparatus stared back at her, and blinked slowly. He could already feel his heart rate speed up. He hoped that she wasn't talking about who he thought she was talking about. He didn't think he could keep his emotions in check telling her about that person. This, right now, was going to be the third time Sparatus panicked.

"What… was who like?" He asked. Jane stared at him evenly for a moment, but then remembered her lessons about the familial hierarchy and lowered her gaze.

"My mom. Hannah Shepard." Jane said. Sparatus and Jane sat there quietly for a moment. Then he shifted and turned on his omni-tool, calling Irilisas. He told her to answer all his calls for him to the best of her ability and make appointments for him if it was absolutely necessary for them to speak to him. This situation required his full attention, especially if he was going to avoid panicking.

"Well, there are a lot of things that I don't know about her that I wish I did." Sparatus began. Jane set her eating utensils down (a pair of sticks meant for dexterous, five-fingered hands that could pick up clumps of food if used correctly, a remnant of her time as 'Mulan' all those years ago) and looked at him eagerly. Defiant to his authority, begging to hear even one thing about the woman whose eyes she had inherited.

Sparatus decided to begin with the day he met her.


Sparatus landed in Vancouver, Canada, one of three sections of the United North American States. The UNAS were on the northern hemisphere, western quadrant, and Vancouver was only one of several state capitals. They had opted to hold their meeting in one of their quiet mountain residences, for maximum privacy. The Citadel Council had landed there to speak with current UNAS President Catherine Sanhueza, the Chinese People's Federation President Liu Ni-Lang, and the European Union's Representative Carlene Thomson.

Sounds boring.

Sparatus met Hannah Shepard for the first time that day. She was the captain of the SSV Diamond Rock at the time, the Alliance frigate assigned to the safety of Representative Thomson. There had been two other frigates assigned to the other leaders, the SSV Jieting for President Liu, and SSV Little Bighorn for President Sanhueza. She spoke to him and gave him information on the history of Europe, about the divisions between countries and nations, about the intricate patterns of language cobbled together from alternating periods of isolation and trade.

What did she look like?

Her hair was very light, a shade of fine yellow. She had pale skin, and she had explained to him that the pale skin was due to a mixed-race English and Irish genetic history. She was tall even for a human, her forehead reaching the bridge of his nose when normally humans wouldn't even go past his cowl unless propped up. Hannah also had a very ugly and noticeable scar across her cheek, the details of which he wouldn't figure out until later.

Sparatus failed to mention what color Hannah's eyes were.

The first few days had been simple routine. The Council was in charge of integrating the human governments with the Citadel Species, in order to avoid further complications or wars. President Sanhueza was very understanding of the entire situation, eager to integrate. President Liu was less amenable, concerned for humanity's place among the Citadel species and asking difficult questions about what the species ambassadors did and who to suggest for a human ambassador. Representative Thomson was concerned about the monetary shift from the human currencies—pesos, dollars, yen, euros, pounds—and the unified galactic credit, and that led to a hearty discussion of the volus and their history among the Citadel, exchange rates…

Okay.

He hadn't really gotten to know about Hannah until later that week. The Systems Alliance had been called to help negotiate what the 'face' of humanity would be towards the rest of the galaxy. That day, Hannah had quipped that they were going to decide what humanity's 'hat' was going to be. Sparatus' questions led to Hannah quickly describing the human idea of stereotypes as hats with labels on them, telling the world what to expect from someone.

It was during one of these secluded meetings that a terrorist organization attacked. A group of special-ops marines guarding the outer perimeter had been dealing with a human-supremacist group known only as 'Cerberus'. The traitorous marines guarding the perimeter from SSV Jieting sabotaged all of the systems in the building and held the Citadel Council and the human leaders at gunpoint.

But you shot them, right?

Sparatus' time in the military had taught him that shooting people wasn't always the answer. Hannah Shepard clearly understood that as well, initiating an interesting conversation, and advised everyone there that the best course of action was to follow the terrorists for now. Sparatus had thought she was crazy for suggesting surrender, but a stern look in Hannah's eyes instilled equality of rank into Sparatus, and he shut his mouth.

The councilmembers and the human leaders all walked out of the room with the Cerberus traitors. Captain Hannah Shepard of Diamond Rock, Captain Kawacatoose Cohen of Little Bighorn, President Catherine Sanhueza, President Liu Ni-Lang, Representative Carlene Thomson, Councilor Datharn Sparatus, Councilor Derenji Valern, and Councilor Ilinra Tevos. They were all standing in a clump with their hands behind their heads, following the traitors to the SSV Jieting. All of the non-Cerberus affiliated crewmen had been killed.

So what happened?

Things went sideways. Hannah had suddenly and without warning attacked the Cerberus traitors, wrestling a gun from one of them. Sparatus himself worked on his ten years of military experience and toppled a few of the flunkies quickly and painlessly while Cohen did similarly. The Presidents, Valern, and the rest all just cowered and huddled together, Tevos putting a biotic barrier around all of the non-combatants. Soon, the group of them fled from the scene in a random direction, just wanting to get away from the danger long enough to make sense of what was happening.

And then one of the traitors had picked up an extremely potent missile launcher and shot it straight at one of the higher mountain peaks. Suddenly, there was an avalanche of snow, blanketing his vision and nearly blinding him with its white coloring. Sparatus wasn't a fan of cold weather in the first place, and before Vancouver he had never been in an area so cold he could see his own breath forming in front of him. To see that unrelenting cold hurtling straight at him was terrifying.

He had forgotten the specifics of what happened after that. He remembered screaming, running so hard that he couldn't breathe anymore. He remembered seeing a large cabin off in the distance. He remembered Tevos shoving everyone into a biotic bubble and literally rolling it down the mountain in a panic, waving her arms frantically to keep the motion, exhausting herself.

He remembered shooting the lock to the door of the cabin when it was in range, scrambling out of the bubble. Lifting Tevos, who had fainted from the strain, throwing her into the cabin. The insurmountable blanket of snow coming closer and closer until it almost dominated his vision. Hannah grabbing his hands and shoving him inside with similar force to the way he rescued Tevos. Shutting the door with a loud thud, the snow blanketing over the darkened walls.

A deadly silence fell over the group after the roar of the avalanche passed. Sparatus remembered feeling extremely cold, colder than he had ever felt before. He wanted to sink his head as low as he could into his cowl, and lifting one of his legs up in an attempt to keep body heat. Valern was shivering like a leaf in the wind, Tevos was breathing deeply in unconsciousness, Presidents Liu and Sanhueza were doing breathing exercises, and Representative Thomson was trying to find the light switch.

Hannah was calm throughout the ordeal, and took command immediately. She ordered Valern to use one of his 'orange glove things' to illuminate the area. Valern's omni-tool did a good job of making the place bright and helping everyone get their bearings. From the scans he ran, there was an electrical generator nearby that they could use. It was a quick fix for Valern, and pretty soon all eight of the inhabitants were in a fully-lighted room, but still freezing. It would take a while for heating to restart.

Blankets were procured from a nearby bedspread. The entirety of the cabin seemed to be out of use for the moment, but well-stocked and well-decorated. Sparatus never found out who that house belonged to, but at the time he was more concerned with keeping warm.

Where did you sleep?

Sparatus was more than happy to sleep in the corner so long as he had at least a pillow or something to support his heels. However, the humans had started to bicker over the bedding. There were only two available, and President Sanhueza was adamant about not sleeping with 'slimy fish-aliens'. Valern took offense, a verbal fight broke out, Captain Cohen stopped it, it was all a mess and Sparatus just wanted to go to sleep and stop being cold as a corpse.

A number of complications rose up throughout the situation. Thankfully, there was a large collection of neutral-chirality emergency rations tucked away underneath some of the floorboards, so Sparatus was able to stave off starvation at the very least. Hannah happily ate whatever the other humans would not, Tevos munched on energy bars like a madwoman. Eating the emergency rations for one made the food last longer in his case, but levo-food had started to run short around the third galactic, six-day week.

People had begun to get to know each other even more closely, sharing blankets willingly rather than begrudgingly, brewing a human drink known as 'hot chocolate' for a week straight before they had run out of a key ingredient, and Tevos happily demonstrating her biotic abilities for Thomson. They had shared stories as time went on. Liu had once almost committed suicide by falling off a bridge, and Cohen had been a teacher of the Cree language for ten years before he joined the military during the siege of Shanxi. Sanhueza had revealed she had a talent for art, and had begun to practice on scraps of paper found next to some printers. Valern had, at one point, dreamt he had attended a singing-practice-slash-political-meeting with the dalatrasses while wearing pink polka-dotted shorts and nothing else. It was one of the few times the entire grouped roared with laughter.

Sparatus learned on the third week that Hannah held no animosity towards the turians for their attack on Shanxi, and was willing to give them all a second chance. He remembered them slowly getting closer as friends, slowly learning about each other's cultures. He remembered trading war stories with her, how he had taken down smuggling rings and pirate bands in the military, how she had grown up in poverty from one of many sprawling metropolises on Earth. How Hannah was going to away on maternity leave once they were rescued, due to her pregnancy.

One day, Hannah asked Sparatus what they would do when food became scarce. Sparatus took her into private quarters in order to speak more freely, and Hannah had begun to sputter with emotion. Sparatus had comforted her as best he could. Hannah had been worried about hurting her baby, or dying before it could come to term. She had been trying for a long time with her husband for that child.

Sparatus didn't tell Jane about the head-bumping. He didn't tell her about how he opened his heart to her that night and offered her solace, comfort, and companionship akin to igniting the flame of a lovers-spirit. He didn't tell her about how Hannah accepted his comfort but not his advances, how she told him she would have kissed him in another time, in another life. He didn't tell her about how he fell in love with Captain Hannah Shepard but had to put it aside for the greater good.

Jane inferred that the child Hannah was carrying was her quite easily, however. Sparatus finished his story with the rescue by Alliance forces, and returning to regular duties. Jane nodded her head, looking back at her abandoned breakfast. It had grown cold and tasteless minutes ago, and Urz had begun whining to get their attention. Probably hungry. Urz was always hungry.

"Your mother was a brave, virtuous woman, Jane. You should be proud of what she was able to do for the sake of Galactic Peace." Sparatus concluded, placing a hand on her shoulder. "If it weren't for her, I might be either dead, or a prisoner of war." Jane looked up to him, and smiled a very, very sad smile. Sparatus spread his mandibles wide enough to bare his side-teeth, happy to be able to look into Hannah's green eyes once more.

The rest of the day went by quietly, shenanigans with Urz notwithstanding. That night, Sparatus and Jane appealed together to the spirits. He taught her the proper ceremony for calling a spirit into being, just as his grandfather had taught him years ago—similar to regular appeals, but with candles lit to number the members of the spirit. With their hands together and a candle burning bright among the swords, they called upon the Ghost of Hannah Shepard and included her in the spirit of their family.

Jane said it was the best gift she could have ever hoped for.