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The Shift
Year of the Heron-Year of the Dragonfly
"You WHAT!" my father shouted at me when he found out I'd returned the comb.
"I returned it to his family." I replied bleakly.
"Why would you do that, Kana?" my mother asked somewhat calmly to me.
I knew that inside, they were both shaking with rage and fear that I'd rejected the betrothal and would use my powers against them.
Never again would I want to talk about Naiya and what I'd seen but a few weeks ago and the lowest point of the current 14 years of my now wretched life. Never again would I restore any emotions nor feelings I'd once had for Pakku.
"I felt guilty of taking something that belonged to his grandmother." I replied; tight-lipped and discreetly.
My father rounded on me; his face inches from mine.
"That is no excuse to return a gift from your engaged." He hissed at me.
I never cared for him much, anyway; not after what he'd said about me.
"Then what is?" I asked simply to him.
Out of nowhere, it came at me; my father's hand as it collided with my right cheek.
I flinched, but refused to break eye contact.
My cheek was stinging, but I did not raise a hand to it and did nothing but stand as still as a stone.
That was one of the many traits that separated me from Naiya.
If father did the same to her, she'd be screaming and crying; rolling around on the floor and clutching her cheek. Not that my father would ever try to physically discipline the child who brought 'his' family so much wealth.
He turned away, stomping out of the room, and my mother followed more quietly.
My cheek had become numb and hot from the blow and at last, I reached up a hand; wincing lightly as I touched the sore spot. Biting back tears and holding in the all-too familiar surge of fire within me, I rose up and walked from that wretched ice house I called home and out onto the streets again.
I'd gotten into a habit of wandering away from the Water Tribe to the unexplored Northlands quite a while ago, when I first discovered my powers and didn't want to talk with anyone of this tribe since many parts of me detested them for their impudence, their ignorance, their idiocy...
As I walked, breathing in the thin and icy air of this tribe, I sensed that someone was following me.
Not bothering to turn, I felt a hand clasp on my shoulder and saw the familiar shape of Pakku's fingers and knuckles on my shoulder and intertwining with my hair.
Ever since I returned that comb to her mother so abruptly, he'd been trying to coax me into walking with him, or talking with him, or trying to bring a confession out of me. It was never going to happen and I'd have made a large wager that he'd already suspected that I knew about that kiss.
It had been going around the tribe as if the women were talking about a man whom they all wanted.
As I later realized, our secluded world in the Water Tribes wasn't any more different than the one of the Fire Nation; just minor changes and possibly more liberation in the Fire Nation.
"Kana." His voice said softly to me.
Anger and jealousy welled up within me again as bile bubbled in the pit of my belly as I would've liked nothing more than to spin around and assault him like I did my sister nearly 2 years ago.
Restoring my calm face, I turned to him with shields upon my eyes to keep myself from looking at him directly as if a single glance of him could turn me into fire itself.
"Yes?" I asked with an icy edge on my voice.
In the back of my mind, I wondered if he'd noticed my change in tone towards him.
Of course, he should have, but in the time I'd seen him, he seemed obscenely oblivious to the surroundings around him once he achieved a goal. So marrying and taming me might have just been a mere challenge to him and to give him more bragging rights that he'd subdued a Firebender later on.
The shield let up from my eyes for a second and I looked into his. I saw the answers to all of my questions within his cerulean orbs and also his own questions.
"I—I was just wondering why you returned that comb to my mother." He asked me hastily.
For a second, I wondered if I should tell him what I'd seen a few days ago. At least then, there would be an excuse to vent out my anger on him.
"I felt guilty of taking a family heirloom from you; I could tell that it was precious." I said instead; deciding not to start screaming in public.It was my usual excuse which I'd adapted a habit for telling him every time the question came up about that comb anyways.
"Oh. But I gave it to you; it was a present." Pakku replied.
I smiled the best I could at him.
"I know, but I couldn't help but feel guilty like I was taking something from your family that was very valuable to you. Or, in the other case, your mother." I told him; not bothering to disguise the light hiss in my voice at the mention of his mother.
She was the same as the other women; she always treated me differently just because of my abilities and never has she welcomed me into her house. Pakku looked relieved--again, of all emotions, relieved?--and smiled at me.
"Good day." I said formally to him and, turning back, walked in the exact opposite way I'd started out and, before I knew it, I'd walked back into my home.
Once in, I saw a messenger for Meinan in the sitting room. With the barest of a shrug, I began walking across the room.
"Naiya is out." I told the messenger carelessly.
"Actually, this is for you." The messenger said; standing up.
I, along with my mother and father, turned to the messenger and stared at him as if he'd just sprouted a seal-head from his neck.
"For me?" I asked incredulously and walked back to him.
Once I was near him, he dropped to his knees; holding out a wrapped present; almost like the one Pakku gave me, but bigger and wrapped in dark silk.
At first, I did nothing but stroke the silk and reveled in the smoothness and touch of it until I felt the rope that tied it together tied into a knot. Undoing it and taking off the silk cloth, there was a finely chiseled box and, upon opening it, my entire family gasped at the contents.
Inside, there was a black choker, the traditional symbol of engagement in the Northern Water Tribes, with a large dark blue jewel at the center of the ribbon. Alongside of it, there was a ring made of silver with a matching jewel.
Everyone in the room except for the messenger boy gaped openly at the extravagant gift.
"What is the meaning of this?" I asked the man.
He stood up.
"My Lady, I do believe that Meinan is courting you." He told me; bowing.
"Courting me? As a—?" I began to ask; thinking immediately at the rumors of me replacing my sister as the Northern Water Tribe Prostitute.
"No, not as a flirtation. As a wife." He told me.
I choked on my breath. My sister's lover was courting me as his wife. I was to replace my sister on a higher degree. But Meinan wasn't any better than Pakku! I'd been a girl who lived in Naiya's shadow and handed down things, like clothes, and now betrotheds, and now I was to replace my sister as the possibly soon-to-be Lady of the Tribe?
There also was the lingering fact that Meinan was 11 years my senior!
And, since I didn't know him too well, did not know if there was a chance of happiness nor any other true virtue in the marriage. When I'd caught Pakku all over my sister, his first betrothed, I never wanted that to happen again. But now, it seemed that it would because of this new courtship from the Prince who had been, and somewhat still is, my sister's lover.
A sudden slam of the door shook me back from my thoughts.
"A WIFE!" my sister shouted with rage.
The messenger seemed suddenly afraid of her now. Who wouldn't, I would have to say? Her face was flushed red, her features contorted and twisted with utmost anger and hatred bared out for the world to see, her hair had somewhat flown out and now cascaded from her face; shadowing her head and making her look more menacing than I've ever seen her.
I looked around; my mother seemed to have been holding back a gasp. I saw, for a moment, that she'd seen what spawn she'd raised in her house.
My father looked from my enraged sister to me and I saw a gleam of greed in his eyes. He always wanted power and a high status and seeing that Meinan was courting me to be his wife, I would be much higher than my sister. I would've exceeded her.
"I must go." The messenger suddenly said; closing the box and practically running away.
He left me with my family. My greedy father, my silent mother, and my enraged sister; all of them at a distance and chance to tear at a piece of me and rip me from what I'd known.
It was just like when a vicious, hungry Shark of the sea depths would tear at anything on the surface that floated. I once saw a koala-seal swallowed up before my own eyes a few feet off the shore of the ice in the Northern Water Tribe.
Now, I felt like that koala-seal, but there would be another shark waiting to tear me apart while I could do nothing but remain silent and hope that it would be over quickly and mercifully.
"Wife?" my father said incredulously; a breath of delusional laughter on his lips.
My sister was beside herself with rage.
"I am already engaged to Pakku." I feebly reminded them. But, of course, that went on ignored by my father.
"Who cares about that sappy Waterbender? Meinan only wanted your sister for her body—"—a gasp of outrage from my sister came then—"—but he wants you for marriage! Think how much higher we will rise when you are the Lady of the Water Tribe!" my father exclaimed; that gleam of greed in his eyes flashing.
Not again...
The messenger must've told someone, for by high noon the next day, everyone, even the young children, living within the city of the Northern Water Tribe knew that Meinan was courting me for his wife and (most likely) casting aside my sister in the process of doing so.
The small world I inhabited then seemed to have shifted again.
At once, I was moved to Naiya's room with all of her furniture and she was forced into my old sleeping bag.
Every morning, my mother arranged my hair, used the method that she'd once used on my sister for her eyebrows, and helped me get dressed; giving me some of some of Naiya's wardrobe.
When I went out, women gaped openly at me, young girls looked at me with awe much like a person looking at an idol, the men of the village gaze at me with the same desire in their eyes that had once been for my sister, but was not for me, the boys stared at me as I went past them, and the younger children would bow to me and call me 'Your Highness' though a lot of them were still burdened with lisps and usually said 'Yow highneth' instead.
I found it adorable and didn't cease to pat their heads and make a small comment to them.
They would go scurrying back to their parents and say that the Water Tribe Queen talked to them and that I'd said that they were so-and-so or I'd asked them how were they or something else along that line.
Although the younger children treated me well, my life had gotten worse with the older people.
Girls around my age would glare at me; silently declaring me their mutual enemy.
Boys around my age would openly gawk at me, no doubt wondering if I'd done something else that made Meinan discard my sister and wondering if I was the next whore of the Water Tribe; no doubt thinking so.
Men whom had once courted me or had somewhat talked to me only walked past me as if I were invisible.
Women practically hissed venom at me whenever I went.
My mother did nothing; she was as silent and as still as Earth itself.
My father only wanted to push me further for his own purposes and for his own benefits; not caring what would happen to me as long as he'd gotten what he wanted, no doubt.
My sister was the worst.
I flinched as the slap came at me; nearly snapping my neck.
The collar of my sleeping shift being dragged up; nearly choking me and my hair being pulled back to see enraged eyes.
"I will destroy you." Naiya hissed at me; slapping me again and leaving me on the ice as I tried to regain feeling in my cheeks and gasped for air.
In the morning, the bruises and slap marks showed under my skin, but my mother managed to heal the bruises for me.
Pakku was...jumpy.
Whenever he'd come around, he'd keep rambling on about the courtship and how not to be nervous.
It seemed to me that he was the one who was nervous.
We became distant since I used to zone him out during his rants and conversations and, when he would actually come out of his little world to ask me about my opinion, I would just say some wishy-washy phrase that, by the look on his face, wouldn't have been the best thing to say.
One night, as I was walking alone, out of nowhere, someone hit me and pinned me down.
"Whore." The person whispered; hitting me again.
Desperately, I tried to push my attacker off but there seemed to be more as they began to continue hitting me.
I couldn't help it when a whip hit me hard across the face; I cried out.
"Get away!" A voice shouted into the night.
I felt my attackers run and someone else pick me up. I felt weak from the assault and tired from lack of sleep and wanted to sink deeper into my savior's embrace but I looked up; seeing moonlight splash across his face and recognized him.
I refuse to accept any neither charity nor pity from him. He led me into his family's house, regardless of his mother's insulted face and his father's surprise and sat me down on a chair.
"Thank you, Pakku." I said and tried to get up, but my ankle gave a jolt of pain as I did so; forcing me to sit back down. I winced and my hand wrapped around my ankle; cursing that I'd slammed it against a side of a building earlier today.
"Don't do that; it'll only make it worse." Pakku said to me; setting me down on the ice chair again.
"Mother, can you help her?" Pakku asked. I felt her glare hatefully at me.
"I'm sorry, Pakku. I don't help anyone outside of family." She said; making sure to emphasize on 'Family'.
I bit my tongue on that and, with a sudden spur of strength, yanked my ankle out of Pakku's grip and amazingly stomped, with both of my feet, to the door and opened it; preparing to go back to my house.
"I thank you for your hospitality." I said coldly and slammed their door.
I quietly went back to my room; curling up in Naiya's bed and trying to get warm and forget, but there are so many things you cannot do while you are only human.
It was a little less than a month before my sixteenth birthday and I, trying to fall asleep, lay in my old sleeping bag.
Despite the furs and padding of Naiya's bed, I'd missed the room and simple comfort of my sleeping bag so I switched her.
My mother and father were still talking. Piqued with curiosity, I resumed my habit of spying and, wearing only my boots, sleeping shift, and draping a small blanket over my shoulders, listened in through my usual hole in the ice.
"So after Kana is married, what do we do?" the voice of my sister asked.
"We don't do anything until she becomes pregnant." My father replied.
I faltered; pregnant? I didn't plan on having a baby any time soon, maybe when I was in my 20's, but not after my next birthday!
"Then, we push you in the way, Naiya." Father answered.
I knew it. He'd never wanted me and would gladly have seen disgraced!
"And then?" Naiya asked; a hungry anticipation in her voice.
"After she gives birth to the baby, we slip her Seal's Acid. Painless." My father replied.
This was all a plot to kill me!
Seal's Acid refers to something drawn from a seal's insides that is toxic and fatal to the human body and can kill instantly if ingested.
No.
I couldn't live like this. I would not be afraid of my shadow every waking moment. I would not be a pawn in my family's grab for power. I would not be just flung away and killed.
Turning abruptly, I threw open the door to the house and ran outside.
No tears flowed this time. No tears would ever flow for my so-called home again!
Behind me, I heard footsteps also running. So they heard me.
I knew exactly where I was going; to Ueshita peak.
I'd gone there to run away from this life. I'd gone there to put an end to it once and for all.
I threw away the blanket and, despite that it was dead of night in the cold of my tribe, I felt no cold penetrate me despite me only clothed in my sleeping shift and boots.
I'd run to the top; stopping and looking down at the ocean. It seemed rough, almost violent with the illuminating glare of the Crescent moon.
"Kana, stop!" the voice of my father shouted.
I turned; seeing Naiya, Father, and Mother all staring after me. Naiya had picked up my blanket and wrapped herself in it. I felt the wind brush against my back and took a step closer to the tip of the ice peak.
"Kana, please don't do this." My father said.
I broke into a smile, then a laugh as I looked down. Turning back to them, I smiled a very smug and incredulous smile at them. "Why not? I'm better off this way." I said; knowing my tone was one of an insane person's.
"Kana…" my mother began; stepping forth.
It seemed that the face I'd put on before my father disappeared and I suddenly felt scared again.
"St-stay away from me!" I commanded and it would've been very strict if my voice hadn't stumbled over that simple word.
"Kana, you are not to jump!" my father shouted at me.
My eyes narrowed as the pent up anger I'd held in over the years all came flooding back to me.
I know not of what happened, but I felt the air underneath my shift suddenly turn cold and violent.
Opening my eyes, I saw that I was falling.
No one but the gods above and my family witnessed my self-induced 'death'.
I braced myself for the cold. I braced myself for my death.
But it never came.
Opening my eyes, I saw that I was in the icy water.
Resurfacing for air, I gasped and watched as the tide took me out to sea more and more.
All of a sudden, a high and powerful wave came against me; carrying me with it and plunging me deep under the water.
I waited for death. I prayed it would be quick and painless. I hoped for it to be over soon and I would finally die.
But I never did.
Next Chapter: Captain Iroh
