Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Assault on the North
Year of the Arctic Wolf
I did not falter, but I did not impulsively accept either.
I only stood there in front of the other Militants; stock still and showing no emotion. I was asked to attack my old home; one which I'd been born in, been raised and sheltered in, the place I called my home.
I was eighteen, nearly nineteen in a matter of months, and despite that I'd buried myself into the Fire Nation, I still felt a bit of connection to the Water Tribes. I still bore the appearance of any Water Tribe woman save for my hair and I knew of the traditions there.
"We need to plant our ships near the Eastern shores to surprise them." A voice said, letting my trail of thoughts suddenly stop.
"That isn't a good strategy; the Northern Water Tribe, despite its size, only has people inhabiting a section of it." I said. The man who had insisted on planting the fleet on the Eastern Shores looked up at me.
"Truly?" he implored.
I nodded.
"The Northern Water Tribe people occupy about roughly an eight of the entire land it has; something about limitations." I told him.
"Why can they not use that land?" another militant remarked.
"It's not that they cannot, it's that they will not. No one in the Water Tribe goes beyond the border between the city and the supposed wall there, they're afraid. Everyone has heard vicious rumors about what lurks on the other side of the walls." I told them.
"So we could surprise them with an assault on the side?" Fire Lord Sozun asked me.
"I think Commander Yukihiya must accept this mission before she can give us anymore suggestions." Ozai's voice rang out obnoxiously and clearly.
Instantly, my suspicions rose and there seemed to be only one answer to why Ozai had spoken out. I knew it; he was out to put me between the fire and a tight spot. I looked from the generals to Sozun to Ozai and finally to Iroh. This nation, though I was not born there, had sheltered me and made me feel honored instead of shamed. I was taught their ways and their ways was that the people must help one another; to return favors if I was in the debt of anyone.
"I accept." I told them.
Even as I told them what I knew, or at least remembered, about my old home in the Northern Water Tribe, I had a bubbling in my stomach that indicated the assault I was to be going on would be more than just a simple duty for the Fire Nation to me.
For me, it would be more on the opinionated side; a much more personal factor that I would have to settle before I could move on with my new life.
Nearly a month later, the North Pole was in sight of the large fleet sent as I watched from the front deck the ice caps grow in size and closer in vision.
I knew, from often going with my father to a war council meeting when I was younger, that there would be scouts on the premises of the ice caps and told that to the other ship captains.
As planned, we were sailing to the North Pole, but beginning to build most of the offense on the sides that were not habited by the Water Tribe people but sent about 7 ships out of the entire fleet to the front of the Northern Water Tribe.
As I closed the door and felt the metal deck under my feet increase in speed, my body seemed faint and distant to me. My head felt extremely light and my legs seemed to fail me. Maybe I should have spat out that peculiar-tasting bread...
Fatigue nearly threw my body off the deck when the ship seemingly gave a sudden lurch to the right. I felt myself collapse on the floor, managing to catch myself with my hands, but the deck seemed to become warmer with every second I touched it.
A spasm of light came from nowhere and blocked my vision and seemed to keep my senses from functioning. I seemed to be trying to get up and walk, but was staggering greatly.
A black shadow seemingly came out nowhere in the middle of the light and looked…almost familiar to me. Out of nowhere, a voice seemed to ring in my head.
It was a language I did not know, and the words sounded blurry and hard to tell apart.
I remembered sounds mimicking the things I'd heard coming from my own lips and felt even weaker than when the words left my lips.
Something cold was under me, seemingly engulfing me and I tried to fight it, but my body remained still.
Whispers above me and shadows on my body were all I remembered before my world seemingly was sucked away and I was left in total darkness.
"She's waking." A voice said above me.
My first thought was that I'd fallen asleep and everything was a dream, but the spasm of light, my sudden tiredness, and that voice all shot back through my head; it all seemed so real. Blinking the blurriness away from my eyes, I saw Iroh's face above me and that I was in the medical room.
I pulled myself up and yawned; it was like I was only asleep and everything else might've just been a dream.
"Thank Agni, I thought you died." Iroh breathed in relief.
I was at a loss for words at the moment, so I only said 'Eh?' in reply of what he'd said.
"Do you not remember anything?" he asked me.
I faintly remembered the light, the shadow, and what the voice said, but that was about it.
"Not really." I replied; rubbing my temple.
"A servant was coming around the deck when she saw you stumbling. She came over to you and asked if you were alright and she says you replied in some strange words. Do you remember them?" he asked me suddenly.
I remembered when words left my throat, but not what I'd said.
"No." I replied and felt my stomach growl a bit, suddenly becoming hungry.
"Then, you just wholly collapsed on the deck. The Woman threw a bucket of water over you, but you just lay still. She screamed for help, a few of your soldiers carried you to the medical wing, you were fairly still for many hours, and now here you are." Iroh told me.
I remembered the cold sensation coming to me before I passed out and wondered if it was the ice water.
"What time is it now?" I asked.
"Near daybreak. It seems that you told your helmsman to sail as far as the ship could before the moon fully shone, then anchor. He spread the word, but may I remind you, Yukihiya, that tonight was a new moon?" Astrology...
I lightly kicked myself for forgetting and laughed a bit as well.
"Is the attack still going to commence as planned?" I asked; pushing back the sheets over me and stepping out onto the floor.
The ground felt a bit cold for a moment but faded.
"Are you sure? Are you not weak, or sick?" Iroh asked me. I smiled.
"Not now. I guess I was only tired." I said; looking far off.
"Are you hungry?" he asked; indicated to some canned foods to my side.
Since I was on a ship, it seemed that the Fire Nation always preserved their perishable foods by drying them or sealing them in metal cans. I nodded and Iroh gave me a small bowl of heated broth with some vegetables in it. sitting back down on the cot, I began to eat it at a near ravenous speed.
It seemed that the Fire Nation also dried noodles and seasoning and then stored them away. If anyone ever wanted to eat them, they would just fill a small pot with water, put the noodles and seasoning in along with any form of water, solid or liquid, and heat the pot until the noodles became soft again and you could then just eat it.
After a few spoonfuls, I felt much better and energetic again.
"You didn't answer my first question; is the assault still going to proceed?" I asked suddenly; looking out the window.
"The assault is still going as planned. If you truly feel better, Yukihiya, you can go and get your armor on." Iroh said to me.
The uniform I wore was standard; apparently unisex, save for a body suit of oiled canvas under the main armor in an attempt to keep out the cold water. As I was twisting my hair back, I turned my attention to my open-faced helmet. The face-cover had been damaged, careless handling, and was not fully repaired; it was obvious that I wouldn't be able to hide behind the skull-like mask. I felt my body tense at the thought; it...just wouldn't be right.
There it was, right before me; it was my chance to show that I had broken off all ties with the Water Tribes; that I was ready to fully turn away from them. To tie up the loose ends, to have my revenge. Every hour I trained, every mission I'd gone on, it was all to prepare me for this moment; my moment to show my face there again.
...and I couldn't do it.
Falling onto the small chair, I sighed; rubbing at my head and looking towards my pouch where inside, I knew, held a small canister with a spoonful more of ground willow bark. At that time, I'd been struggling with an addiction--there was no word that I euphemize--to the ground willow bark; it always took away the pain, and kept the nightmares at bay.
"Thought you might want something else." He said, holding the object in his hands out.
It was a small helmet that covered my face and was missing all of the horns and layers of a regular helmet.
It was hypocritical of me to hide my face, wear a mask, and I admit to it; I just couldn't cope with the thought that I would be completely exposing myself and severing all of my ties. I wanted to keep the good memories and, as I thought back then, I wouldn't have been able to if I showed my face; to see how I would be reflected in their eyes.
I smiled up at him in gratitude.
"Thank you." I said, wondering if he could read minds.
"We're setting off in a few minutes." Iroh said to me.
When I arrived, many soldiers were already there, the tanks and other weapons, portable catapults, and a few Komodo Rhino behind them. Iroh was giving them all final instructions.
"Do not open fire until the first Fireball hits the wall of the Water Tribe." Iroh finally said as the door opened.
As quietly as everyone could, we slipped out on the metal ramp and walked towards the Eastern wall.
The sun was peeking out when we'd finally arrived and, watching the shoreline for the ships we sent frontally to the coast of the Northern Water Tribe, sought for the first fireball to fire from that part of the fleet.
At first, it seemed to be a black streak, but as the 'black streak' got closer to our perspective, we saw the heated head and the smoke trail behind it as it came down and hit the wall.
Welling up my energy, I felt the heat surge through my body and let go; watching as the stream of reds, oranges, yellows fired into the ice wall and a loud explosion sounded through the air and watched as ice, steam, water, and large chunks of the wall came crashing on the opposite as well as our side.
I was cautious despite my fuel for vengeance, which suddenly came back; even though Fire is the element that could be pulled out of pure nothing, there was the remaining fact that I was walking on the element of water and the Waterbenders had a clear advantage over the Fire Nation, pardon the lame pun.
A young Waterbender, most likely a trainee judging from his movements, shot a sword of ice at me. Quickly, I disputed of it with a fireball and sent a discus constructed of sharp lightning at him and did not bother to witness his demise; I had more important things to do at the time.
It seemed that I had underestimated the populations of trained Waterbenders or at least most of the Waterbenders rose to the level of mastery faster than I'd expected them to.
It seemed that the number of Waterbenders and Warriors in the North Pole were near of equality to Iroh's fleet, not counting the other militants who came along with their own ships and fighters like I did.
I was still looking for my so-called 'family', to avenge my 'death' here but I did not find him but, instead, I found someone else; the one other person I wanted to face off with as much as I did with my so-called family, maybe even more.
It was in the Late Afternoon, near sunset, when I saw him again.
I'd just sent another warrior back with a blow of Lightning to his chest when a water whip came at me; I composed a shield of fire to cancel it out.
When the bit of steam cleared, I saw my attacker's face and felt a deep fire within my memories begin to roar; finally, after nearly 3 long years.
"Is that all you can hit me with?" I taunted. It worked; he took the bait and raised an enormous wave at me. A few other Firebenders came to my aid and, constructing a counterattack, shot the wave away.
"Thanks." I said through my helmet.
The Firebenders nodded; returning to their own battles. The entire fleet was pushing forward; even the ships.
A few Firebenders and most of the warriors were left behind on the ship to steer, arm and fire the catapults, and attack when the time was right.
The ships had broken through the large wall of the tribe and now were pushing even further on the ice with flaming rocks hurled left and right into the city; screams and smoke filling the air.
Blood had already stained the virgin snow and the casualties of both sides lay on the ground motionless. Ice and water flew through the air only to be matched by lightning and fire.
The entire tribe was in a state of chaos and even through my helmet the stench of the burnt and dead was pungent and almost choking.
The moment I let my guard down I regretted it; a stream of water came at me and I, failing to pay attention, was thrown off of my feet and launched at least three feet into the air.
Throwing my body feet-first downwards, I slid on the ice and managed to get hold of a chunk of ice through my glove; stopping myself.
I looked at my attacker again; Pakku was still Pakku, he'd only learned more Waterbending.
"I see you've learned a few new tricks." I said to him; thought I doubt that I was heard above the roaring of the ships and shouts of civilians and the armies alike.
When I was betrothed to him, he would sometimes take me to his Waterbending class and I would watch from the sidelines as his class practiced.
My only regrets were that often I was mistakenly, or maybe purposely, used as a target for the practice and many of the males tried to draw out my Firebending when they attacked me. I only sat there, letting the water hit me (but never the let the ice hit me so I dodged them) and trying to remain in control of my emotions.
Moreover, after one of those incidents when I was actually hit (I think some Waterbender shifted the place I was sitting on) and he saw everything, Pakku rarely took me back.
Now, nearly three years later, we would see who knew more.
"But I didn't come this far to lose to you." I finished, harnessing power from the sky and pushing a large beam of lightning at my once betrothed.
He could not block the full force of it and was knocked back slightly. His eyes narrowed and I instantly took up a stance along with him and neither of us moved for a moment.
His first attack was that of an ice ball; one which I extinguished with a simple blast and responded with a punch and managed to burn a section of his parka.
Sending a chain of fire arcs at him, I watched intently what he did while planning out my next moves. He only raised his defenses at those; walls of ice and out-lashing water to exterminate them.
A sudden hit of ice behind me knocked a bit of winning arrogance out of me and I reminded myself that I was now on his territory and needed to be more cautious.
Running forth a length and jumping to create the illusion of a high attack, Pakku raised a chunk of ice and sent it overhead.
As I tumbled through the air, I landed as fast as gravity would let me and shot a low attack directly at his feet; creating a ridge of melted ice as I did so.
My biggest mistake was underestimating his reflexes and instantly, my flames were extinguished and a large bump of ice was headed at me. I jumped; barely dodging it and landing on my feet and my hand, but only to feel the ice shift below me.
Pakku had broken the ice I was on and began to create something under it; a whirlpool! Desperately, I leapt off of the nearest corner of the ice but I forgot about the element of Water being all around; my crucial mistake. A water whip froze around my ankle and I was pulled under.
I saw Iroh's face and his hand extending out to me as I fell into the water, but then ice came over my vision and it began to close down; forcing me into the icy waters. I was sealed within the ice.
I still did not feel too much of the sting of the cold, I couldn't decide if it was my Firebending powers or the clothing and armor I wore, but it was already obvious that if I did not breathe soon, it wouldn't matter if I felt the iciness of the water.
Looking up, there was the barest of vision through the ice and I saw Pakku standing idly. Swimming as fast as I could, I kept going until I saw him right above me.
Summoning up my strength for a fire blast, extra harder since I was in water, I placed my hands on the ice and, with the majority of my energy, blasted upwards and literally blew him out of the water.
Pushing myself up and taking a breath, I distanced myself from the hole and prepared to fight again. The oiled canvas was apparently permeable after all. I was about to attack when a bright flash caught my eye.
Looking down where I stood, right ahead of me, lay a delicately crafted silver comb embedded with blue stones along the spine; the comb Pakku once gave me. I dared to walk over to it and, kneeling down, picked up the comb; running my fingers along the spine of it and tracing the design.
Did he not give this to his new bride as a gift? He did marry almost immediately after I'd gone, didn't he? Maybe she gave it to him for good luck. What other reason would he be taking that along into something like a battle if it did not mean something to him? Maybe that bitch of his mother had finally died and the comb was given to him. Maybe something happened to his new bride...
As I mused on about the comb, I forgot to pay attention to the battle and people around me.
"Don't touch that!" I doubled over in pain at the sudden water whip to my abdomen. Ignoring the dent in my chestplate and holding up the comb, I smirked beneath my helmet.
"Why? Did your wife give it to you and then she died?" I asked with a snort of laughter.
A shock beneath my feet sent me reeling back as the strong wave, focused only on me, knocked me sideways and Water grasped the comb and forcefully wrenched it from my grasp. I wiped away the ice shards on my clothing and turned to him, armed with a counterattack, and never in my life had I seen a man, least of all Pakku, so seemingly broken over words.
His eyes were downcast; looking to his hand and in his left one, I saw the comb. A bit wet, but nothing too worse for the wear and he seemed to be cradling it.
It took a great deal of sanity to recover from my shock; a side of Pakku I'd never seen before was there before me now and he seemed to have a broken look on his face.
The comb must've meant something else to him; my theory that his new wife had given this to him as a good luck symbol might've been right. That or he had given it to his new wife and then she drowned and that comb was the last thing he had of her. It would've been sad if I wasn't so determined to win this battle between him and myself.
"Well?" I demanded; shooting a quick look to the side and to see how the battle was. It seemed now the Fire Nation was storming the city and I had no doubt that we would win.
Pakku clutched the comb and angrily stuffed it away.
"It's more than that." He said in a choked voice and, in what seemed to be a fit of rage, shot a ball of ice at me.
I met that blow with a Fire stream and readied myself for another fight.
"Oh?" I asked him through my helmet and sent my own Fire whip at him. He blocked it and sent a rolling wave of water at me and I jumped over it.
"Your nation ruined everything for me, you would never understand." He spat.
I wondered if it had anything to do with me; what did my parents tell the citizens of Water Tribe after my sudden disappearance?
"What did we ruin? It's your own mind and those damned traditions that ruin everything." I told him in what seemed to be a haughty tone but it felt so good to finally say the words and the topic I was forbidden to talk of for such a long time.
Pakku sent a huge block of ice shooting quickly at me and I sent a rotating saw of fire to cut it, but was too late in timing; the ice hitting me on the leg and sending me into the snow. Instantly, manacles of ice wrapped around my legs, waist, wrists, and ankles; binding me on the ground.
In the midst of the smoke in the air, I saw a shadow come towards me.
"You took it all away." Pakku said as he leaned down to me.
I tried to jerk the bonds away, but to no avail since Pakku began to freeze more of my body every time I struggled. I doubt he'd figured out that I was a woman; the formless uniform and armor did have some of its benefits.
"I never took anything away and neither did my nation." I hissed through my helmet.
I felt a sharp pain penetrating my stomach; when he concentrated the water more, the sting of the whip always clung on longer than the initial spasm of pain.
"You took away my family, my friends, and my bride." He declared angrily.
Great Agni, what had my family told him about me?
"Your bride?" I asked amusingly. He was talking about Naiya, I assumed.
A second stabbing pain came to my stomach, in the same place, and I heard the small crack; he had penetrated the armor and, as the cold air came into contact with my abdomen, I felt something slide down from the wound. It was, as I later found out, a small cut.
"My bride. I was sure that we would have a happy life together. I loved her." He said softly, as if his heart was breaking in remembrance.
I felt like I'd just been slapped; a man of the Water Tribes admitted to loving someone. Back when I lived in this Water Tribe, many marriages were only to forge alliances or to breed children, or to gain a higher status; there was almost no love between the man and the woman who were bound only by they called their duty to the Tribe.
The man and the woman would breed, do their tasks, and I, as a child, have never heard my father and my mother saying 'I love you' to each other; not even once.
"Where is she? Drowned herself?" I asked casually.
Maybe he just needed someone he could talk to; that was why he was opening up to a complete stranger. But, why was he telling me all of these things instead of someone else? One of his friends, maybe? A new woman who was engaged to him? His family members? I guessed that that they would all make fun of, if not ostracize, him if he ever told anyone the 'truth'.
"The day I went to take her into my home...her father made an announcement to the Tribe." There was a strange look in his eyes; I could not tell if it was from anger or another emotion.
"Her father told me that she had run away! I asked why, but he did not respond. I wondered if that was what happened. Later that day, I saw a Fire Nation ship pulling away." Pakku said; shaking with, I was sure of it, rage.
I continuously tried to melt away the ice and slowly felt more space within the capacity of my frozen bonds.
"She could be dead for all you know!"
"It doesn't matter now; let's see who's behind that mask of yours." Jerking my body upwards into a flip, I shattered my bounds, showering him and myself in bits of ice and, sliding my foot quickly along the snow and ice, sent a swift kick to his chest; hitting him fully with a scorching blast of fire.
He was clearly startled as he was pushed back and launched many feet away from me. Pressing my hand against the wound to ease the bleeding, I stood up again and saw that Pakku was on his back; startled with a deep burn on his exposed chest.
"Pakku!" a voice cried and, turning, I saw Yugoda running towards him like a crazy woman.
Maybe they'd married, I thought, they would have been happy together. My old home was a wreck; homes half melted and destroyed, the canals were nearly overflowing with water, more flames and smoke were seen and choked the breath of everyone, regardless of which side it was.
The people were more stubborn than I'd first thought; the tribe still did not surrender. I knew that because it was nearing night, the Waterbenders were relying on the moon for aid.
Running through the city, I looked around; searching for a weakness while trying my hardest to ignore the sting in my stomach and a cold uneasiness settling within my skin. At the sight of the council house, I remembered what the elderly had always told the children.
In case of an attack, the elders taught the younger children and told the women to shelter themselves within the council house and cover their heads. If I could hostage their kin, what the people of my tribe used to say were the most 'valuable treasures in the world', the Tribe would surely surrender.
And there was no time to waste; the sun was fast setting, and I just pushed any civilian in my way into the overflowing canals. I saw the look in the women and children's eyes and would have wanted to tell them to relax; women and children were always taken as war prizes, and only the ones who had captured the attention of high-ranked officials would actually be taken.
A steel-honed boomerang shattered into the right side of my helmet; breaking the region where my right eye was.
Looking behind me after I cleared the shards away, I saw warriors running towards me with their weapons bared out in front of them.
Ignoring the chilling and numbing sensation on my skin and the new shots of pain surging through my body, I got up and began to run towards the steps.
Once taking a step up the stairs, I felt a strange burst of dizziness and assumed that it was from not getting enough air. As I tried to regain my breath, I began to run up the ice stairs at the fastest pace I could muster.
Knowing that the warriors were right behind me, I shot a sheet of Fire over the ice behind me; hoping that the ice would melt quickly enough.
There were others already surrounding the gothic ice-house, some of them melting the pillars that held up the front part of the building. As the ice came tumbling down, I placed my gloved hand over my right eye to block the hole in my helmet.
Screams could be heard inside and before I knew it, a warm hand grasped my shoulder.
"Give up." Iroh declared, suddenly beside me.
"Scum!" a woman shrieked.
Turning, I saw my sister Naiya running towards me with the claws of her fingernails bared out; she had courage, I'll say that much.
I grabbed her wrists with my hands, I quickly turned around to face the Water Tribe people and bent down abruptly; throwing my weight to my chest and felt Naiya flip over me. I watched her fall on the ice and roll uncontrollably down the slippery stairs until she landed face-first into the snow.
"Surrender now. If not, your entire next generation will perish." I threatened; turning my head to the right.
"Never!" a man yelled stubbornly.
"Watch them." I whispered to Iroh and, turning my heel, began to walk into the temple.
Inside, I saw the younger children skirt away from me, some even crying out in fear, but I paid no attention to them; to think that a few years earlier, they were calling me 'Your Highness'. There was little light shining in the building, save for a hole at the top of the dome-like structure, and the dim light would have made it impossible for the short, crouching children to see my eye.
In the corner of the room, I spotted him huddling and shivering.
Meinan never fought, he more or less learned to hide with the younger children and women within the temple. A surge of chills came back, but I fought them off; going over to the corner and grabbing him by his collar.
He's heavier than I assumed, I thought as I dragged him back outside for everyone to see. Taking a dagger from Iroh, I pressed it to his throat. I saw the people tense.
A strange pang of heat shot through my body and left me slightly weak at my joints.
Struggling a bit, I think I leaned on Meinan slightly, but I miraculously managed to regain control of my body and continued to press the dagger to his throat.
"You would sink as low as to threaten us with our leader?" a voice shouted out to me. I saw that the owner of the voice was my father.
"But as I recall, your current chief has grown old and Meinan is the only heir." I said coolly; watching as eyes widened in surprise at my knowledge and, with a single swipe of my hand, brought the dagger upwards and plunged it into his eye socket. His scream echoed across the sky as blood began to pour from the wound. Gasps and whispers broke out between the citizens at the sight of their future successor being marred so.
"Stop!" a voice called out.
"W-We surrender." Another person stuttered, lowering himself to his knees and bowing.
The entire tribe soon followed suit.
Iroh nodded to the soldiers, then me. I pulled the dagger out and let Meinan crumple and fall at my feet. Iroh gestured with his hand and I began to walk down the ice stairs; pulling up the already-high collar of the scarf I'd worn to hide my eye.
No one moved as I walked past them, Iroh closely behind me.
"Remember this day." He said briskly to the people and turned to the small number of survivors. "We've spared you for a reason. Be more prepared next time."
Katsu, a comrade and close friend of mine, pulled slightly at my hand and I followed.
Suddenly, Pakku charged out from the masses. He seemed to forget about his Waterbending and tried to hit me with his bare fists. I deflected his blow and, unknowingly, reached into his pocket; extracting the silver comb and something else that landed in the snow.
I didn't pay attention to the object; I only saw that it was black and blue with a bit of white.
He grabbed my wrist, intending to harm me I assumed, but he grabbed the strip that held my glove to my hand and loosened the strap. Wrenching my hand back, I let the glove slip from my hand and into Pakku's grip.
"Keep it." I said carelessly and kept walking towards the ship. All he would know was that he'd fought against a woman; I'd had the glove fitted and it was definitely too small and with too slender fingers to be that of a man's.
As I reached the top of the gangplank and onto one of the ships, a spread of weakness seemed to cave in my body and I felt the ground shift beneath me; falling if it wasn't for Iroh's help.
"Are you alright?" he whispered to me.
"Fine. Just—." I began, touching my waist and suddenly remembering the wound. It'd stopped bleeding, hadn't it...?
A sudden cough tore from my throat and my waist seemed to crumble at the vibrations. I saw blood on the hand that shielded my mouth and panicked as a hot burn seemed to course through me inside-out and then a frightful set of chills knock me off of my feet.
"Yukihiya!" Iroh called, but his voice seemed distant and nearly silent.
I clutched as much of my wounded waist as I could and felt the ground beneath me spin.
More coughs came from my throat and I couldn't stop him; feeling as if each one ripped something from my throat and soon felt a trickle of liquid coming from my lips, I guessed that it was blood. The chills returned and it seemed that they were layering themselves through my entire body; freezing me.
My breathing became strained; I felt so weak and, despite the chills, strangely hot. I began to thrash wildly for some unknown reason.
My eyesight was blurry and undulating, my hearing only seemed to hear high-pitched screeching, I felt almost nothing save for the spikes of pain shooting through my nerves; all of my senses seemed to be failing me.
A faint glimpse of Iroh and a few other faces around me was the last thing my vision saw before I felt myself sink into darkness.
I let out a piercing cry; rapidly opening my eyes and felt my rapid heartbeat against my chest.
At first, I tried to move but only to discover that I must've gotten tangled in the sheets of a cot. It was only a dream. Struggling against the sheets, I found that I nearly couldn't escape and felt suffocated. Twisting madly, I tried to get away but felt the drowning sensation envelop my senses again.
A firm hand held me still while the sheets suddenly came loose from my body.
I felt the breeze of cool heat against my skin again and breathed. Looking up, I saw Iroh again; I seemed to have a tendency to get into trouble and there he always was when I awoke.
"What? What happened?" I murmured; looking around.
"You fainted. Being exposed to the cold for so long after you were soaked in the ice water didn't compromise with your body too well either." Iroh sighed.
I tried to get up, but found that my body felt too sore and weak. As lightly as gravity would let me, I lowered myself back onto the cot.
"What happened?" I asked him softly.
"We won thanks to you. But that wound you gave the prince was quite a serious one." He added.
I remember stabbing Meinan in the eye and the blood, wondering if he was dead or if the healers had managed to help him avert death. And if they'd salvaged his eye. Despite myself, I smirked at the thought of whether Naiya would still 'love' him if he still had a scar or if he was deformed or if he was blind in one eye.
Iroh didn't look at me; instead, he seemed to be brooding over his thoughts.
"Is something wrong?" I asked instantly.
"That wound and the entire fiasco with your sickness…" Iroh began. I instantly recognized his tone; it was one bearing bad news.
"What about it?" I asked, near frantic.
"It has left you fairly weak, you've been in a death-like stage for weeks; occasionally coming to consciousness." Iroh explained to me.
"Yes, but what do you have to tell me?" I asked.
"Your body is weak, most likely still infected and scarred. By the doctor's orders, it is not suggested that you should go into battle again." Iroh told me. Well, if it was just that I had to leave on grounds of injury...
"Alright. How long?" I asked him curiously.
I saw Iroh lightly bite his lip; obviously knowing that his news would devastate me. My eyes widened at a possibility and I instantly covered my lips with my hand to keep my teeth from biting my lips too much.
"N-No." I whispered, my voice shaking.
Iroh, looking somewhat defeated, nodded his head.
"Yes. He means that you might not be able to back into the battlegrounds ever again." He confirmed.
It couldn't be! Fighting is what had first gotten me into the Fire Nation, my sole focus through the years, and now, because of a single injury that I could've prevented and decisions that I could've alternated, it was said that I could never go back again!
"Iroh." I breathed out of shock.
"From what the doctor told me, he suspects that you were overexposed, you might also have breathed in saltwater, and there is a chance that if anything large like dust, more water, or multiple quantities smoke enters your lungs, you might be severely burdened with breathing troubles. I'm sorry, Yukihiya, but you must keep out of the battlefield from now on, maybe forever." Iroh said; to which I abruptly threw back the covers and tried to run towards the door and ask for a confirmation with the doctor.
"This can't be!" I cried, on the verge of tears.
Iroh quickly came from behind me and tried to stop me; grabbing my shoulders.
"Yukihiya—!" he began, trying to pull me back, but I fought him; trying to make him loosen his grip.
I wouldn't say it at the time, I think arrogance and haughtiness had gotten to my list of virtues that I possessed, but his hands felt as if they would break my shoulders.
"Let me go!"
Iroh suddenly jerked me back; pulling me flush against him and locking his arms in front of my breasts.
"Yukihiya, you must accept it! Everyone has limits and you must accept yours now!" Iroh shouted at me.
Out of rage, I kicked at a nearby cot. Fire shot out in the direction of my kick, but the cot did not melt or tip over. He was right.
With a sob as reality set into my mind, I seemed to have slipped from Iroh's grip and collapsed onto the floor, continuing to cry like an infant would.
For the years I was in the Fire Nation, fighting was the skill I treasured most and began to take less interest in anything else. Now what did I have that made me an equal?
Iroh leaned down so he was on top of me. I felt a bit of warmth and some comfort from him but fear and sadness still remained.
"I know it looks grim now, but…there are other things that you can be. It's like starting over, just like you did with me when you accepted the Fire Nation as your home. Hush, Yukihiya. It'll be alright." He said softly to me, picking me up off of the floor and holding me as if I were a child.
Angrily and out of grief, I grabbed onto his shirt; pulling myself up to meet his gaze.
"Iroh...what other person am I to be?" I asked, sobbing. His diatribe was the equivalent that I would have to go back to the Water Tribes and tell them of all that I'd done in my mind; I just couldn't do it.
His eyes did not hold disdain, as I expected, but instead empathy. He wrapped his arms around me as he lay back on the cot he was sitting on, laying me on top of him as he did so, and sighed while he ran his fingers through my hair.
"I once thought that I was nothing other than a prince before I discovered that I was a fighter as well. Maybe your situation is a vice versa. Do not worry, Yukihiya. The past is the past, and you must look to the future instead. It will be a long, long way but you will find your true self." He whispered to me.
His words comforted me and slowly, I stopped trembling.
"How far away are we from the Water Tribe shore?" I asked softly, remembering the comb.
"Less than a mile, I'm sure. I assume you want to return this." He said, reaching into a bag on his belt.
I saw that he had the comb I snatched from Pakku.
I nodded; taking the comb and going to the Hawk room to select one.
Coming out with a sturdy looking one, I attached a small basket to its foot and placed the comb inside. Despite the cold, I walked out on deck in only my thin shirt, pants, and stockings.
I tapped his beak once, then pointed out towards the Northern Water Tribes, and tapped his beak again. "To the ice shore and back." I whispered, though he could not understand me, feeding it a bit of meat and watched as it took off into the night.
"You shouldn't be out in such thin clothing." A voice rang out from behind me.
Turning, I saw a servant with my hooded, sleeved cloak. I nodded; walking to her and put on the cloak.
"Are we sailing?" I asked her, noting that it had been only a full day since we first docked at the shores of the Northern Water Tribe and daybreak was near.
"At your order." She told me.
I nodded; looking up and signaling for the helmsmen to start the engines.
As I was about to go back to my chamber, I looked at the ice one last time before slipping inside
The messenger Hawk, I never saw again.
Maybe it meant something, the hawk not returning.
When I entered my chamber, I found Iroh sitting on the edge of my bed. I smiled, but when he turned to me I heard the most ominous words coming from his lips.
"We need to talk."
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