Chapter V: She must never know

The autumn breeze blew and tossed the teal green hairs of the girl standing on the rooftop. The sports season had reached its peak and the clubs were out in full force, but neither the rhythmic pounding of feet on the concrete below nor the occasional clang of bat connecting with ball disturbed her. She had just made a very important decision, and she felt the weight of it.

Fuuka smiled.

She had come a long way in her three years in Gekkoukan, and now she was about to take another step forward. The girl from two years ago would not have been able to envision herself now. She had been weak before, but that was all in the past.

But she could not have done it alone. There were many she had to thank for bringing her this far, especially Natsuki, Yukari and of course, him.She was sure he would have been proud of her. Somewhere, somehow she knew he was watching. After all, was it not he who had taught her that she was a unique, special individual? Was it not he who had taught her to appreciate her talents?

He and all the others had made her feel needed for the first time. Her parents' crushing expectations made living at home a suffocating experience and school had not been much better either.

But every time the team reappeared at the entrance with tired but grateful smiles on their faces Fuuka could not help but feel a warm feeling in her chest. It was for those smiles that she lived and fought, especially his. When he did she would blush and look away.

Yet she knew it was impossible. Just as she could only watch as he fought with the rest, she could never be by his side. Yukari was one of her dearest friends, but there was no way she could tell her about her feelings for him. She would giggle as Yukari talked about his many charms during their girl chat sessions, play along when the others teased the two of them about their relationship.

But she was alright with that.

She accepted that she would never be able to compete with the popular, bright and pretty Yukari. She was fine with waiting days or weeks for him to be free of the many engagements he had just for a single afternoon together or protracted bits of conversation during Photography Club.

But now even those fleeting moments of time were forever lost to her.

It had hurt when they lost him, but she had probably dealt with it better than the rest. Just as it had been back at home, she had spent the hours tinkering away on a pair of headphones until the pain all but disappeared.

The girl lifted her head and stared into the sky above. It was a common sight to her; white clouds scudding across an azure blue sky. She had spent many lonely days up here for hours during that horrible first year, but it was not all bad. Some of her most meaningful memories and been made on this very rooftop; she and Natsuki had parted here in October, and they had lost him here a few months later as well.

But her fondest memory by far was the time she stole her first kiss from him. He had been leaning over the railing with his eyes closed and the chilly winter air had been playing with his hair and scarf. The whole school was rife with rumors about him two-timing Aigis and Yukari and she knew she was not going to get another opportunity.

After she seized her chance she ran as fast as her legs would carry her all the way back to the dorm, no time to catch the surprised expression on his face. Her face was flush with adrenaline and she could hardly catch her breath. It was a feeling of part exhilaration and part guilt as Yukari opened the door with a puzzled expression on her face.

She smiled to herself.

She must never know.