The dart game had started alright, although Darwin's hand-eye had much to be desired and more of his darts ended up in the wall or the floor than the dart board. But he had called it quits when the pirates decided it would be fun to throw darts at each other. Now he sat at their table, content to be relatively alone for the moment. Now that his friends weren't watching he removed his eye patch and belt. With a wince he rubbed his midsection where he was sure he had a permanent red mark from that belt buckle. He stuffed both items into his leather satchel. Out of it he pulled his journal, a small inkwell and a pen.

He had only written a few words when a hand appeared on his book.

"Whacha writin' there little man?"

Darwin looked up and wasn't terribly surprised to find Black Bellamy leaning over him with a look of feigned curiosity. "Nothing someone with the mental capacity of an invertebrate would understand." He pushed Bellamy's hand off his book went back to writing. Darwin recognized Bellamy as nothing more than a schoolyard bully in a pirate hat and he wanted nothing to do with him.

"Is that so?" With one swift motion Bellamy snatched the book from under Darwin's nose.

"Hey!"

Bellamy grinned smugly and flipped through the weathered pages. "Let's see what we have here."

Darwin made a grab for his book but Bellamy simply moved it out of his reach. By now several pirates were watching and a couple were cheering Bellamy on.

"Hold on. Hold on." Bellamy placed a hand on Darwin's forehead keeping the little scientist at arms length. "Hey guys, get a load of this! 'I have discovered a new type of barnacle'. Dude this thing is really a page turner."

The spectators laughed as Darwin strained against the pirate's hand, trying desperately to reach his journal. "That is extremely private property!"

Bellamy cocked both his head and an eyebrow. "Yeah, pirates aren't exactly known for respecting other people's property." He glanced at the book again. "Wait! Wait! Wait! It gets better! 'I'll never get a girlfriend. I'm so unhappy.'. You got that right, little man!"

The pub roared with laughter.

Darwin's cheeks turned a deep shade of red and he redoubled his efforts but was still unable to get past Bellamy's hand. "Give it back!"

"Alright. Alright. Chill." But instead of handing the book to Darwin he hollered across the bar. "Hey, Cutlass! Heads up!" He tossed the book across the room and then gave the little scientist a smug grin. "Fetch."

Cutlass Liz easily caught it with one hand. She examined it for a second then with a smile held it out.

With a relieved sigh Darwin hurried across the room, deftly dodging a few attempts to trip him. "Thank you Miss." But just as he reached for it she snatched it back and with a sinister laugh tossed it over his head right back Bellamy. On Bellamy's next throw Darwin made a jump for his book but it was out of his reach. The game of monkey in the middle went on for a couple minutes with some pirates cheering for Bellamy and Cutlass and others booing, whistling and throwing things at Darwin until the little scientist was positively fuming.

"I can't believe I'm dealing with grown people here!" He grunted as he made another grab for his journal as it sailed over his head. "Of all the childish, crude, immature...

BANG!

Darwin screamed and jumped as a hole appeared in the floor an inch from his foot.

Bellamy puffed the smoke off his pistol. "There's no need for name calling."

Darwin threw both hands out as his voice rose to a high pitched squeak. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Any annoyance he had a moment ago had been replaced by complete panic.

"Aw. He's sorry. Should we accept his apology?"

There was a unanimous chorus of: "Noooooooo!"

Bellamy gave a nonchalant shrug. "Tough luck."

Darwin yelped as another couple gunshots splintered a chair just to his left and shattered a glass to his right. He wanted to run but he was hemmed in by pirates and bar room furniture. "Can't we d-discuss this...um...calmly over a cup of-"

Bellamy answered by taking a couple shots at the ceiling, snapping a rope and sending a decorative fishing net down onto Darwin. He threw his head back and let out a hearty laugh as the little scientist struggled with the rope.

With a great deal of frantic grunting Darwin managed to get himself untangled. As he pulled the last bit of netting off his head he looked up and froze. He found himself staring directly down the barrel of Bellamy's pistol. It was aimed directly between his eyes.

The pirate smiled and shrugged. "I'm not really big on discussing things either." There was a 'click' as he pulled the hammer into place.

Darwin closed his eyes and waited. But instead of the explosion of weapons fire a voice rang out.

"That's enough, Bellamy!"

The pub sighed with a disappointed: "Awwww."

Charles opened one eye and found himself no longer staring down Bellamy's pistol. The back of a navy jacket now took up most of his vision.

The Pirate with the Scarf now stood between Bellamy and Charles, his feet planted firmly on the floor and and the expression on his face meant business.

Bellamy lowered his weapon, placed a hand on his hip and fixed the younger pirate with a glare of annoyed boredom. "Dude. You're ruining the fun."

"Leave him alone." The first mate warned, his voice leaving no room for argument.

Bellamy rolled his eyes. "Aw, come on. What's the harm in a little target practice? That is what you brought the little lubber for, right? Squid bait?"

"Actually..." The Pirate Captain strolled up as if nothing out of the ordinary was going on and he simply wanted to join the conversation. "He's part of my crew."

Bellamy raised an incredulous eyebrow. "You can't be serious."

The Captain lifted his head proudly. "In fact I am."

The Pirate with the Scarf nodded.

Bellamy stepped up to Darwin, his dark eyes narrowing. The pirate's moustache curled up in a sneer only inches from the little scientist's nose. "I'll bet he can't even say 'arr'."

Darwin gulped audibly, feeling his collar tighten under such intense scrutiny.

"Oh, hogwash!" The Pirate Captain threw a friendly arm around Charles shoulders. "Of course he can. Show him, Chuck."

Charles showed his teeth in what was meant to be a smile but ended up looking like he had indigestion. "Um...arr?"

The whole tavern exploded with knee-slapping, table-pounding, side-splitting rowdy laughter. A couple pirates fell out of their chairs and lay on the floor holding their sides and giggling like hyenas.

The Pirate Captain's crew just shuffled their feet, looking thoroughly embarrassed. That was possibly the worst 'arr' in the entire history of piracy.

Bellamy leaned on a table so he wouldn't collapse as he wiped a tear from his eye. "Dude!" He cried between gasps. "Either he's got lubbermitosis or you've recruited a kitten!"

The Captain scoffed, waving Bellamy's insult away with a downward sweep of both hands. "Oh, he was just warming up." With that he brought the heel of his boot down solidly onto Darwin's toes.

"Aaaaaarrrgh!" The little scientist reared back, grabbed his foot and began hopping in circles. After a couple rotations he calmed down and gave the Captain a glare that could have burned through a cannonball.

The Pirate Captain didn't even notice. He simply smiled proudly at Bellamy, very pleased with how clever he was. "You see? Now wasn't that good?"

Bellamy clearly wasn't falling for it. "Really?"

But the Captain went on completely confident that he could pull this off. "Not only can this little fellow roar like nobody's business but he's also deadly with a cutlass."

"Is that so?" Cutlass Liz crossed her arms looking as unconvinced as Bellamy.

"Had a bit of a scuffle with Number Two, here, a few weeks ago. Ran the poor fellow through."

Number Two and Darwin swapped a confused look before staring at the Captain as if his beard was turning into a squid.

"Go on." The Captain tapped his first mate in the ribs causing the young man to flinch slightly. "Show him the scar."

The Pirate with the Scarf rolled his eyes and gave a resigned sigh as he pulled up his shirt and jacket to reveal a four inch long red line just under his ribs. Showing off scars was a common pastime among pirates and making up grand tales about them was expected. But this was just ridiculous. In a manner of speaking Darwin had cut him open so in a sense that was true. But the Captain had omitted several key bits of the story. Like the part where Charles was trying to cut a bullet out of his side before he bled to death.

"Quite a battle it was too!" The Captain went on.

"I thought he got that scar because-mmph!." The Albino Pirate said somewhere behind them just before the Pirate with Gout clamped a hand over his mouth.

"Just how dumb do you think we are, Captain?" Bellamy threw a hand in Darwin's direction. "You couldn't pass him off as a pirate if he had a wooden leg and a Jolly Roger tattooed to his face!"

"Hmm." The Pirate Captain stroked his beard and gave Darwin a thoughtful frown.

The Pirate with the Scarf knew exactly what was going through his friend's mind. "No, Captain."

The Captain gave an innocent shrug. "What?"

"The point is, Pirate Captain..." Cutlass ambled over from the bar circling Darwin like a shapely shark. She leaned close to him and casually pulled her sword from it's scabbard. "You've brought a land lubber to Blood Island and you know that's against the rules."

Darwin could feel his pulse pounding in his ears as perspiration beaded on his forehead. He wasn't sure if it was from the deadly weapon that was held inches from his throat or the fact that he had never been this close to a woman before.

"Oh, don't be absurd, Cutlass." With one finger the Captain pushed her sword away from Darwin. "I would never dream of such a thing. He may look like a complete pansy but-"

"Listen, Captain." Bellamy interrupted. "We've been in the business a long time and we know a pirate when we see one. And that..." He stabbed a hand in Darwin's direction. "is as far from a pirate as a sea cucumber is to Big Ben."

"Why don't you feed him to the sharks now and be done with it?" Cutlass suggested.

"What?" Charles squeaked.

"Now, now." The Captain said, placing a hand on the panicking scientist's shoulder. "Let's not be hasty. Just because he doesn't look like a pirate or sound like a pirate or act like a pirate doesn't mean he's not a pirate."

The Pirate with the Scarf brought his hand to the bridge of his nose. The Captain's persuasion skills had much to be desired.

Darwin glanced up at the first mate completely bewildered. He kind of understood the Captain wanting to make him look tough in front of these pirates. If they thought he was one of them they would probably leave him alone. But there seemed to be much more to it than that. "I don't understand." He whispered.

The Pirate with the Scarf bent close to him. "Blood Island has a strict 'pirates only' policy."

Darwin didn't like the worried tone in the first mate's voice. "What happens if you're not?"

The Pirate with Gout leaned in to the conversation to whisper. "Peter and Wendy get a good meal."

"P-Peter and Wendy?"

"The sharks." The Albino Pirate explained with a grin, clearly having no inkling of the seriousness of the conversation. "They're the islands mascots."

"Than why in the name of biscuits and tea did you bring me here!?" Darwin hissed as hostily as a whisper allowed.

Before the others could answer the Pirate Captain, still conversing with Cutlass and Bellamy, said: "Well, why don't we ask the Pirate King."

The entire tavern cheered in agreement

"Wait, what are we doing?". Darwin squawked. It seemed he had missed something important.

The Pirate King completely dominated the throne room, his booming voice and massive figure overpowering even the shimmering jewels that adorned a throne plundered from the Spanish main. "The Law was made with good reason!" He thundered to the room filled with the patrons from the Barnacle's Face and the Pirate Captain's crew.

Five figures stood before the big man's throne. Darwin fidgeted beside the Pirate Captain and the Pirate with the Scarf while Bellamy and Cutlass stood together, both looking quite proud of themselves.

"All pirates love a good fight but if we were to just allow anyone anyone here our location would slip out and we would have every Navy in the world here to blow us off the face of the globe!" The Pirate King shouted.

The crowd cheered in agreement.

"The problem seems to be whether this..." He pointed one gigantic, bejeweled finger at Darwin. "...is a pirate."

Darwin flinched a little, both at the violent gesture and the Pirate King's eardrum shattering voice.

"The only way to solve this is to have a TEST!" The Pirate King threw both hands into the air as if he were making the most profound and important proclamation of the decade.

The pirates seemed to agree with that assessment for the room exploded into raucous applause.

"A test?" Squeaked Darwin, certain that this was going to be a very bad thing.

"A test?" The Pirate with a Scarf frowned. The idea didn't sound good to him either.

"A PIRACY test!" The King bellowed.

The Pirate Captain strolled merrily back to his ship with his crew trailing behind in various stages of worry. Darwin walked beside him, having a sweating, hyperventilating fit.

"But Captain! I can't!" He shouted.

"Of course you can. There are only five simple tests." He ticked them off on his fingers. "Cutlass agility, ham eating, cannon sharpshooting, shanty singing and mast climbing. "

Darwin's reply was thankfully unintelligible.

The Pirate with the Scarf placed a hand on his panicking friend's shoulder and gave him a reassuring smile that said let me try.

Darwin let out a distressed sigh and fell back with the rest of the group as Scarf walked ahead with the Captain.

"Captain, do you remember that talk we had?"

"The one about attaching cannons to the sails or that excessively boring one about certain death?"

"Captain, you're going to get Darwin killed and us banned from Blood Island forever."

The Captain waved an unconcerned hand. "You worry too much."

"You know he can't pass those tests!"

The Captain gave his first mate a sly grin and a wink. "Not without our help."