Author Note: Short chapter but there will be more soon and please try not to hate me.
Jane rocked Isobel against her chest as she waited for Spock to appear in the sitting room a somber Amanda had wordlessly shown her to.
She had been up all night, pacing the halls as she had desperately tried to come up with a solution ; any solution that would leave Isobel with a father but that would leave Jane free to rebuild her life; a life separate from the husband, the bondmate, she was still sure she could never forgive, never learn to trust again.
But the only solution she could come up with was promising to wait through one pon farr cycle with Spock as they tried to rebuild their broken relationship to even though she recoiled at the thought of sleeping with her bondmate because how could she really do that?
How could she be totally submissive and trusting to a man who had shattered her heart…. and if in the grips of pon farr Spock felt her resistance to submitting to him would he then break her body the way he broke her heart?
SO in the end she had nothing; she would not put her life in the hands of a man who had so carelessly thrown her to the curb like yesterdays rubbish and so she for once admitted defeat; maybe Spock choice to travel the path of the Vulcan adept
"Jane" Spock voice came from behind her and turning around she saw the figure of her husband garbed in a traditional black Vulcan robe appear in the doorway.
"Spock" Jane smiled a painful smile and in that broken smile she could tell that Spock knew that she had come to say goodbye.
"May I hold her?" Spock asked as he stepped further into the room and as he looked down at the sleeping Isobel "One last time before"
With a lump in her throat Jane handed over her child, Spock's child and watched as Spock gently, adoringly cradled his baby daughter in his arms staring at her innocent, sleeping face as he held her as if he was trying to memorize her features.
Which, Jane realized, he probably was.
This was the last time he would see his daughter; until Jane's prophecy came true and an adult Isobel went on the hunt for the emotionless robot her father would soon be and then her features; Isobel herself would not matter one whit to him.
"Spock" intoned Sarek also appearing at the door way his face emotionless as he took in the scene in front of him "It is time. The shuttle is ready to depart. Your fellow novice awaits you."
"Look after her" Spock said hollowly as he handed Isobel back
"I will" said Jane, once again rocking Isobel against her chest; her chest where her aching heart lay painfully throbbing as she realized that this was it; this was the last time she would ever see Spock again.
And despite the hurt he had caused, despite the pain she still felt she was still overcome with the mad desire to throw herself into his arms and to beg him never to leave her but even as her aching heart begged her to take the first step forward her cynical brain told her to protect herself and let him go; if he had done it once he WOULD do it again.
"I…" Spock started before uncharacteristically breaking off only start again "I hope the remainder of your life to be long and happy. I hope your new crew trust and protect you as I, as the Enterprise crew should have." Spock eyes met Janes and her eyes widened as she finally registered the misery and suffering in those dark brown, nearly black human eyes she had always loved "I hope you find a man who is capable of being a father to Isabel and a better husband to you than I was; a man who will never betray you the way I did"
"Spock" Sarek intoned "If you do not depart presently the shuttle will depart without you"
Holding out his hand in the customary gesture of farewell Spock intoned "Live long and prosper" and then with a swirl of black robes he moved swiftly to the door ; moving to exit both the room and Jane's and Isobel life forever.
