Spock sat cross legged like a statue, eyes closed and face blank in a pose of meditation. If it was not for the sweat dripping down his face, you could be forgiven to think he was indeed meditating.
Not in the grasp of Pon Farr.
Sanar looked dispassionately at the young Vulcan through the bars of the cell that kept him contained for the moment plak tow broke and Spock's ability to control broke with it.
This would be the seventh young Vulcan male that had perished in the two years since his home planet had been destroyed. The seventh young Vulcan who with their mate destroyed with Vulcan and who without a suitable mate had chosen to come to New Gol to die aided by the monks within.
Kadiith, though Sanar, as he resumed his duties.
888
Jane tapped her fingers against her kitchen counter as she tried hard not to yell at the young yeoman on the other side of the line.
"What do you mean there won't be a shuttle available to me until tomorrow" Jane tried in vein to reign in her frustration "I need to get to Vulcan now"
"I am sorry Captain Kirk" the yeoman stuttered "but due to the conference in Vega12 there are just no shuttles available"
Her face black with anger Jane cut the connection and let out a few choice swear words.
"Calm, Jane" Bones said his eyes sympathetic "You will get there; after all it's not like Spock is in Pon Farr. You would know if he was right? You did last time."
"I don't know if I will now" Jane admitted quietly "The bonds closed. I can't feel him at all; I haven't been able to since he left Earth." And for all of her protests that she wanted the bond broken the lack of it had left Jane feeling nauseous and empty.
Bones did not know what to say so he just pulled her into a comforting hug. It had been a distraught Jane who had commed him three hours ago to ask him to take Isobel as she had to go to Vulcan and retrieve her wayward bondmate before he did something stupid… like die of Pon Farr.
A knock on the door pulled both Jane and Bones out of their separate thoughts.
"I'll get it" Bones told her pulling away.
Jane was just contemplating other ways to get to Vulcan and was just pondering the idea maybe Sarek could lend her a shuttle… after all he was an ambassador right? He had to have access to one! Jane was just contemplating this when Sarek himself walked in the room followed by an obviously distraught Amanda.
"What Jane asked, a feeling of dread rushing over her as she looked at Amanda devastated face "What's happened?"
"I just tried to hail Spock in New Gol" Sarek told her brusquely "Instead of my son I received greetings from a monk. Spock entered Pon Farr, six day's past."
"What" Jane hand flew to her throat "Why did nobody tell us?"
"Spock left instructions that his mate was lost to him and that he had chosen to go through Pon Farr alone." In other words, Jane read between the lines, he had instructed the monks in Gol to leave him alone to die.
"Okay." Jane shook her head "So I need to get to Vulcan. I need a shuttle now."
"It's too late" Amanda broke in her eyes filled with tears "It will take you at top speed three days to reach Vulcan. Spock will be dead by then."
"No" Jane shook her head.
"Unfortunately my wife is right" Sarek looked dispassionately at his soon to be ex daughter in law "Your wish to be unfettered by a bond to my son is about to reach fruition. You will soon be Spock's widow."
888
Jane watched as the stars flew by as silvery streaks, a sight she usually enjoyed but a sight that at the moment only left her feeling dead inside as she remembered all the times she had sat with Spock on the observation deck and witnessed the same thing.
Spock, who was dying, who might even now be dead. Their bond was quiet, nonexistent in the back of her mind, like it had never existed in the first place.
/Please/ Jane begged to a deity she did not really even believe in /Please let me be in time. Please let me be able to save him/
It had been three day since she had left earth, three days since she had given Isobel to Bones and left with Amanda and Sarek to fly to Vulcan, hoping against hope that she would be in time to save her bondmate. The bondmate she still loved and was not sure how she could live without.
All of her lies about hating him had fallen apart when faced with his imminent death. All belief that she could never forgive him for his betrayal of her had flown out of the window the moment she had realized that he might be lost for her forever.
Now all she could remember was the times before her pregnancy had been revealed. All she could think about was how much she loved him, how happy they had been together, how exploring the stars with him was all she could have ever wanted.
Now all she could see was a bleak future without him. A future desolate of love because once the bond broke she was sure it would break her ability to love another man. A future that would mirror her mother's pitiful life after the death of her own father. Always grieving and unable to move forward.
Now all she could see was Isobel growing up without the father who adored her, all she could see was Isobel hating her, Jane, when she realized that it was her mother's fault that her father was dead. That her mother had killed her father, had killed Spock, as surely as if Jane had used her own phaser.]
In three days Amanda and Sarek had avoided her, had left her to stew on her own memories and her own thought as they stayed in their own suite and left her to the rest of the ship. And how could she even blame them for not wanting to comfort the woman who was causing their only son's death?
"Please. Please" Jane whispered tears falling down her face as she continued to plead her desperate wish to any deity who might be listening "Please let him be alive."
888
The heat of New Vulcan hit Jane like a blanket like it always did upon transporting to it's surface, smothering and all consuming, but she pushed that aside as she hurried towards the wooden gates that were New Gol's entrance.
"Who art thou who asks for entrance to Gol" The dead eyed Vulcan who guarded the gate asked.
"I am Jane Kirk, bondmate to Spock, son of Sarek" Jane told him "I come to.."
"We have been expecting you" The guard cut her off and motioned her inside where he stepped to the side to speak to another blank eyed kolinahr adept.
"Follow me" The second Kolinahr adept intoned as he led her through a maze of corridors and doorways before opening up heavy, barred cell like door and ushering her into a small box like room where a motionless body laid still on a cot. Lifeless and unmoving.
"We have prepared the body" the Kolinahr adept told her in an emotionless tone "He is washed and prepared for burial."
Jane staggered over to the cot that held her husband body and as she reached it her legs gave way and she dropped to her knees as she examined her husband dead face
His face was gaunt, he looked like he had lost half of his body weight and his hands, when she looked down at them, told of great violence; bloodied and torn like he had tried to rip the room apart… maybe he had.
"No" Jane whispered "Please, Spock, No" reaching out she cupped his face but it felt cold and clammy and she quickly let her hand drop to her side.
"Please, please no" Jane whimpered as she dropped her head into the cot mattress as grief overwhelmed her and she began to cry for her lost love.
