A/N: Here's where the plot branches off; I doubt there'd be a way to change my plot to fit the one of the present series without losing key parts of this chapter. Enjoy.
Three Worlds Meet (Part 1)
Year of the Dragon
The women talked excitedly amongst themselves; still reeling at the news. The Avatar was found, the Fire Nation would be vanquished, cheers all around! They ignored the fact that the Avatar was an untrained child who seemed to want nothing more than to penguin-sled.
The months began to pass once again and now the tribe was officially nothing but women and young children. One day, about five months after Katara and Sokka had gone, grand boats embellished with the Water Tribe symbol docked on our shores; they were from the Northern Water Tribe. I literally froze at the news, and I wondered why I was so afraid.
Gathering together my wits, I dressed myself again and went outside and watched as some men and women came down from the boat and tentatively placed their toes on the ground as if the ice would break under them. They looked around; the obvious sign of arrogance and disbelief in their eyes. They had grown up in luxury, that was no doubt, and they must have thought the little tents and igloos were nothing more than the crudest of hovels.
An elderly couple led the way for the rest of the timid-looking citizens who were dismounting the boat; I walked up to them while leading my own 'entourage'. It took me a moment to realize that it was Pakku and Yugoda.
I called them by their names, greeting them and smiling. Iroh had always felt that I should make amends with them for some reason, so why not right then?
The tension eased and the boatmen began to unload 'gifts'. It was blubber, jerky, and tropical fish; they'd obviously not planned to starve.
They stayed for quite a while, and Yugoda and Pakku took residence in Hakoda's reconstructed house; the other waterbenders did help rebuild many of the houses, and they often sneered at the way I ran things; I was still only a woman to them, and they did not even know half of my story.
Despite that, the connection between the people of the polar tribes began to mend and every day, there seemed to be a new couple on the streets; holding hands, talking to one another, or just laughing with a group. Had the other elders I'd known seen such a thing, they probably would have fainted at the 'abhorrent sight' or chastised the 'young people' with abandon, but I shrugged and let it all happen; they had to figure out that babies weren't made by kissing sometimes, and better sooner than later.
Yugoda all but abandoned any try to speak with me and Pakku kept a distant silence; which hurt and relieved me at the same time.
Once, he did visit me in my igloo and inquired about a small red glove I'd forgotten to put away.
"Oh. I lost the other one…a long time ago." He'd probably already known of my Fire Nation past anyways—if Yugoda didn't tell him, someone would have. We talked more, about the Water Tribes and what had happened since, but he was always touchy on the subject of his personal life and when I'd tried to mention a part of mine, he'd quickly try and change the subject; our conversation was not exactly mercurial.
After he'd left, as I was about to toss one of my drinking cups into the hot water to clean it, a glint caught my eye. It was the comb; the same one I'd sent back to the Water Tribes with my hawk all those years ago. Oh, I assumed, he must have accidentally taken it and forgot about it; I should return it to his wife. Picking up the comb, I went outside and walked the length to town and tried to find where she was.
"Yugoda!" I shouted as I ran up the street.
"I believe this is yours." I said; holding out the comb.
Her eyes widened, then narrowed in suspicion. "Pakku told me that it had been lost." She said stiffly.
"He was lying; I saw this on my table after he'd left." I replied.
With stiff fingers, she clamped onto the comb and jerked it away from me. I couldn't understand it; they were married, so why didn't Pakku give that to her? They were married, I thought, weren't they?
In the early hours of the next day, Yugoda had a row with Pakku; a very loud one.
When I tried to settle the dispute, Yugoda slapped me—it did hurt—and stomped away. After recovering from the initial shock that my old friend had actually slapped me, I pushed myself off of the snow and sat up; regarding her deep and slightly crooked footsteps in the snow. Pakku helped me up and, after insisting that he help me to my little place of residence, was fussy most of the way there; I had been slapped, not shot at. Once we were inside, he did not leave. He hesitated for a moment, and then touched my cheek with his bare hand.
They may call me whatever they wish, but it had been a long time since…anyone had made physical contact with me in that way. Somehow, my jacket came off and I was almost laying on my back on the snow ground. No, I thought, this isn't right. I pushed him away; sitting up.
"It just brings back…old memories." I said as he removed his own parka and outer layer of shirts.
"That's why we're here, Kana…" I flinched at being called that name, especially by him. "…to make new memories." He finished, pressing himself against me.
"A-aren't we too old?" I asked, trying to push him off of me again. I felt his hardness through the thin material of my pants and had to wonder how he had managed to keep his physique after all of these years. Pakku stopped; pulling away from me for a moment.
"We've both kept ourselves young after all of these years. And this should happen between people who love each other; age is only a number." He stated and leaned in.Instead of kissing my lips, he gave me baby kisses along my cheeks.
It all came back to me and my heart ached greatly. The small escapades, the open affection, his hard kiss, the little quirky ones that always succeeded in making me smile, the nights and days in our bed together, having to hush our noises in fear of waking Tai in the next room, the tickling of his trimmed beard on my cheek, my neck, and under my fingertips, everything came flooding back. His face was plastered in my mind and no matter what, I could never forget.
With a groan and opening my eyes, I found Pakku instead and pushed him away.
"I can't." I said and tried to find my clothes in the pile on the floor.
"Why not? I love you." He said in a soft tone I had heard zodiacs ago. I turned to him, feeling an old boiling of anger in the pit of my belly.
"Don't say things you don't mean." I spat bitterly. Why did he seem to always extract the most emotion I have within me out when he does nothing but speak?
"What?" he asked, his expression confused. I turned to him with my bulk of a parka in hand.
"Don't lie, Pakku. I saw you with my sister those years ago." I said coldly to him and began to pull on my boots.
"I was betrothed to her!" he exclaimed. I turned back to him; not believing what he had just said.
"My parents betrothed you to her behind my back?"
"What?"
"Let me refresh your memory; you were all over my sister on a STREET within plain sight of the entire tribe!" I exploded in anger at the memory; it still wounded me, even after all of those years.
Pakku stood up as well.
"A woman—" he began. There it was, I thought, the sexist remark about to spew from his cold and traditionalist lips.
"—is NOT inferior to a man and will not yield to ANYONE! We are not slaves who will just turn a blind eye when a man goes and hurts her or someone else!" a new thought came to me and I was revolted by the theory. "And do NOT tell me that you came all this way just for—!" I choked out.
Pakku tried to jump up, nearly hitting his head on the roof of the igloo we were both in.
"No! I could just go and—!" he began.
"Pick out someone younger to become your bride back in the Northern Water Tribe? Or maybe go back to your wife already in the Northern Water Tribes? Just go back elsewhere and take some other woman into your bed?" I shrieked back at him.
As I met his eyes, I saw that the initial confusion and surprise was gone and replaced by a look of pity.
Pity!
That ego of his has only swelled from when I last saw him; he thinks he knows everything that can be taught and can feel the genuine pain of others when he knows nothing at all! He considered himself empathetic?
Swears and curses directed at him escaped my lips as I nearly clawed my way out of the igloo. Pakku was practically running behind me, but I was lost in my own anger and painful memories to take much notice of him.
"Kana, you're overreacting; you just need to go back home." He said in a near-pleading manner.
I stopped; my eyes wide as I turned to face him. Home. Years' worth of sadness, pain and homesickness overcame my rational thoughts.
My legs must've given out on me, for the next thing I knew, my body was submerged in freezing water. Home. Back to my nation. Back to Iroh. "Yes." I whispered drowsily. "Home." I chanted the word. I was pulled up from the water and my vision came back.
"Kana." A voice said and I felt his breath on my face.
I pushed Pakku away and got up; running back into my tent and, using my Firebending, retrieved my half-buried chest again. I hastily shoved some other clothes of mine and what bits of food I had left into it and closed it again; dragging it outside.
'Home. Home. Home.' The mantra was telling me of all of the prospects of going back to the Fire Nation. I found an old canoe and heaved my belongings into it; sitting down and attempting to push it away from the icy shores.
"Kana, where are you going?" Pakku demanded; his hand on the front of the boat. I looked up, smiling at him.
"Home…Ba Sing Se." I corrected myself; sending a blast of Fire at the banks where the canoe was dragged up on and sending my little ship into the water. Grabbing a paddle, I began to row; not missing the blatant shock on Pakku's face and laughing at it.
I first had to stop in the Southern part of the Earth Kingdom; running into a woman a bit older than I was there.
She was a botanist, with a little white cat named Miyuki that always seemed to rub against me whenever we were in the same room. After staying with her for a few days, during which she taught me much about plants, I thanked her for her hospitality and gratefully accepted some of the supplies of food and even some Earth Kingdom money she'd given me. Further along my journey, I took ill and locals pointed me towards a healing house, where a young girl worked as one of the main 'doctors'.
"It's alright, Song." Her mother said after coming in.
"Eika." Both mother and daughter turned to me; startled.
"I—I'm sorry, I just…how did you know my name?" the older woman was obviously shocked.
"I knew your mother; I met her before you were born—you look so much like her." At the mention of her mother, Eika grimaced in sadness. I was treated to dinner and, when asking about the stable sans any animals, Song said that their ostrich-horse ran away; she never made eye contact with me when she made that diatribe.
"My mother died, so my aunts took me in." Eika and I were discussing things over tea.
"Aunts?" I echoed; her mother said that she'd had no relatives.
"My aunts Longtzai and Wu." Longtzai? After I told her smidges about my life—maybe it was the wisest choice to leave out the parts of my past in the Fire Nation—and she seemed a bit hesitant to bring up another subject, and tentatively did so as we were about to retire.
"Would you happen to have, in your time in the Water Tribe, seen a boy? He should be about thirty six or so, he looks much like a man from the Water Tribe—." Was he sent as a toddler on a boat, I was about to ask. "Is he your child?" I inquired instead. At once, Eika began to vehemently deny everything--saying that she knew of a woman who did lose a son in that way--and contradicting herself as she ushered me quickly to my bed-for-the-night.
In the middle of the night, I left, but not before writing a note telling for her to come to Ba Sing Se; I had once told Hakoda to go there before he embarked on his journey, and there was just the chance that he would go.
My destination was also for Ba Sing Se; it was my best guess of where Iroh was and when Jeong Jeong told me what he'd heard from gossip, that Iroh had become a 'traitor' to the Fire Nation by Ozai's decree, I was sure he would go there. Ba Sing Se was a haven for refugees such as he.
Once in the city, I began inquiring about an old man traveling with a young man with a scar across his left eye. The citizens pointed me this way and that; causing for me to sleep in the streets for the two nights I'd spent there upon arrival.
Finally, on the fifth day after I had arrived, as I walked the street, I began to whistle an old tune; only able to get through the first ten notes. Behind me, someone else whistled the final half of it. Hardly able to breathe, I turned; seeing his kind bullion-ochre eyes lock with mine.
I ran towards him and he embraced me tightly and kissed my eyelids once more. I pulled away from him; regarding his aged body.
"My god, you've gotten fat."
"You called me as old as the Avatar, we're even." I said to Zuko.
He glared at me, but picked up the empty cup and combed some of the wet tea leaves out of his hair..
Someone told the secret and, for some reason, the upper ring of Ba Sing Se decided to take off the mask of denial and turn over 'a new leaf'. Ba Sing Se was hungry for death; especially for those of the Fire Nation.
I watched as Iroh and Zuko were being dragged through the streets--of course no one suspected me of being a Firebender; all of the old legends about me ceased to circulate after I'd 'retired'. The crowd began to jeer at them, saying that they were savage and brutes; undeserving to live.
When someone threw a rotten cabbage at them, I could not be silenced any more. I grabbed the rotten head of the vegetable and flung it back at the crowds.
"Look at yourselves! You claim that the Fire Nation has treated you brutally but have they ever truly even penetrated Ba Sing Se? You all only base what you know from propaganda! You say the Fire Nation is cruel; mocking and killing anyone not their kind, but look at what you are all doing now; the exact actions you say makes the Firebenders savages! And you think this pitiful town can even BE a utopia?" I shouted at them; knowing that they were watching me
"Seize her!" Instantly, I was apprehended by at least 4 pairs of hands and my wrists were handcuffed from behind. I felt them bite into my wrists and a bit of moisture, most likely blood. The shouts began to increase in my ears; calling me hurtful names just because I defended the 'Fire Nation filth' and beginning to throw more things at us.
"You didn't have to do that." Iroh whispered softly to me. I turned to him and sighed.
"There are certain things in life that people cannot just stand idly by for." He smiled. "Yukihiya." He breathed. I felt my heart warming, as if I was resurrected from the dead, and smiled at him. The moment lasted only for a second for just then, we were lead down to a dark room and thrown into a cramped area.
The steel latches on the door made the all-too familiar sound of locking and for a moment I feared that we would never see the lights of day again.
We were fed, but the food was horrible; tasting like rotten fish, though I think rotten fish would be a delicacy compared to what we were forced to eat. Zuko was ranting and when he was quiet, he slept or brooded over something. The more I observed him, the more I came to realize that he was nearly an exact mirror image of me when I was younger.
Despite all of the tales Iroh has told me, I could not imagine how a son like him was born to Ozai. Aurora, Ursa; she'd changed her name as Iroh told me, was his mother, so it did explain where his good heart came from, but that raised more questions for me than answers.
"What are you staring at?" Zuko demanded when he saw my eyes linger on him. Iroh was taken to a separate cell for some reason that day.
"The more I see in you, the more I realize that you and I are fairly alike." I told him and he raised his good eyebrow at me.
"Let me tell you a story." I began, remembering that this was exactly how Iroh had said to me dozens of times when he wanted me to open up a bit. When I had finished with the tale, Zuko was quiet.
"That was different; they mistreated and abused you." He said harshly.
"Just like the Fire Nation, or at least Ozai, did to you." Ozai's name still left a horrible taste in my mouth. He turned away, being defensive again, and I sighed.
"Fine, you don't have to believe me on that. But your internal conflict underlies the same basic elements; love and taught loyalty for your close family. Unrequited love and blinding loyalty, but still. Please, my nephew, believe me. Besides age, either of us are too different and you cannot deny the parallel; the outcast, overshadowed by a sister, and exile. But your situation is drastically different from mine in many way. You are not alone in the world like I was; your uncle loves you and treats you like a proper father would treat his son, you have plenty of great childhood memories to look back on, and a loving family, of sorts. Not an actual mother-father-children family, but one nonetheless that supports and loves you." I told him. He was still sitting in the darkness.
"Iroh is not your father, and no one but Ozai can be your father Ozai, but that does not mean you should turn your back on affection and attention given to you by other relatives. Do not block out everything so much to the point that you can no longer cherish what you have. The glass of life is never empty, for destiny pours endlessly a drink of reality and experiences, beneficial and malicious events, turmoil and crossroads. Sometimes, it is bitter, other times it is sweet; but the drink will always make you who you are." I said, quoting Iroh yet again. Obviously, Prince Zuko had heard this before judging from the tenseness of his body after I'd said those words. Just then, Iroh was nearly thrown in and I rushed to help him.
"I am fine." He said and gently pushed my hand away. I nodded, still sitting next to him. "First Lu Ten…" I began to hiss, but Iroh stopped me.
"No. Just promise me one thing when they free you." He said to me. I nodded.
"Do not show them your Firebending powers." Iroh instructed, "People don't know who you really are; go by your old name of Kana of the Southern Water Tribe."
"I was never Kana once in my life." The second child, the abomination, princess, runaway, outcast, but never Kana.
"It doesn't matter; I don't want to see you die here because of my mistake." I wanted to cry; it was my mistake! But there he was, once again taking the blame for my slip-up.
"I married you for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, and until death do us part." I recited my vows to him. "Still married to me?" he asked teasingly. "For 62 years." I repeated. "Then I missed a lot of anniversaries, didn't I?" he stated with a teasing smile. "And I, too." We both laughed despite our situation.
"What are you two talking about?" Prince Zuko asked; what a mood ruiner.
Some time later, a guard came into the prison cell early in the morning and stared at me for a moment before jerking me up. Being in the dark for so long took its toll on my sight; it took me quite a while to adjust to the light.
"Gran-Gran!" a voice shouted from behind me. I knew that tone.
Turning, I saw Katara. She ran to me, a mixture of confusion and relief in her eyes, as she took in my appearance.
She embraced me, but I didn't feel anything; just like with Naiya. Maybe it was because I was numb to the heat of affection since my heart never leapt nor stirred until I saw Iroh again, or it was because I thought she'd known something or another and was embracing and feigning affection for me just for show, but either way, I forced myself to hug her back. She pulled away from me and took a breath before commencing to babble.
"When I heard you were arrested, I was surprised; what are you doing in Ba Sing Se? And why were you arrested? They say that Prince Zuko and his uncle are arrested? Is that true? And…" she asked on, just like a talkative and inexperienced spy would, and I mentally blocked out her questions; refusing to answer.
"I cannot say." I replied blandly and began to walk outside. The look on her face was disappointed, and it was obvious that she was trying to hide it.
"There's someone here to meet you." She said quickly and I joined her in turning a corner.
Oh, gods no.
Pakku was standing there and he immediately locked eyes with me.
"You jest." I griped and turned back to walk into the jail. Pakku was already running after me.
"Kana, please listen—!" he started but I turned to him and met his gaze with one that mirrored steel.
"Pakku; we have nothing to talk about. I never belonged in the Water Tribes then, I don't now, and I never will. I told you already." I said firmly and attempted to walk again, but someone grabbed my arm. Oh for Agni's sake…
It was Sokka. "I've got us entrance to the sparring event!" he exclaimed.
"What?" I asked him.
"The death match!" Sokka seemed giddy. I felt my blood freeze, no; it couldn't be…
Sokka seemed to check himself in front of me.
"Of course, Gran-Gran, if you would rather—." I had already snatched a pass from his hand and darted back towards the arena. Iroh, Zuko—why did I ever leave you two?
I handed the person manning the entrance the pass and pushed people aside to get to the front row. Strangely, it was empty; most likely, no one wanted to be hit with possible flames. Pakku, Sokka, Katara, the new girl (Toph, I soon learned), and the Avatar followed me to the front row. Zuko and Iroh were led out in chains and announcements were being boomed out. I tensed and could only watch as soldier came out.
It was a fight to their deaths. And when I could be down there with him, with my family, I was watching on the stands. Maybe this was how parents felt when the tyrant emperor of the Fire Nation, Galicula, allegedly forced them to watch the execution of their loved ones with bloodthirsty crowds egging on the killers.
The drums sounded and Zuko and Iroh got into a stance; ready to fight. 'I'll wake up as Yukihiya once again.' Over and over, I repeated the mantra in my head. Everything that had 'happened' to me in the last 36 years was just a crazy dream and I would wake up in my royal bedchamber as Princess Yukihiya again when Lu Ten would run towards my bed and throw himself onto the mattress to wake me up.
Glancing between my feet, I saw a thin and pointed dagger resting just to the side of my right foot. I took the dagger and concealed it under my leg; gripping the leather handle. As the fight went on, I had to witness all of it; I just could not tear my eyes away.
Sokka was screaming for the fighters to 'finish them!' and Katara, the Avatar, and that blind girl, even Pakku, were cheering on the Earth Kingdom fighters. I could not bear to look at them; they were insulting me, and to my face too. The moment I had the courage to look at the stadium again, I regretted it. I saw Iroh, brought down by a soldier of Ba Sing Se, and about to be killed.
"No!" I shouted and, without hesitation, leapt off of the side of the stadium and aimed the knife at my hand directly at the guard's head. I heard shouting from behind me, but I refused to listen. I sailed through the air and landed on the soldier's back and plunged the dagger into the center of his dark hair.
A long-dormant hunger woke in me at the sight of crimson flowing from the wound. Bloodlust. It scourged through me as I pulled out the dagger; watching as a shower of blood burst from the point of impact. I stood and grit my teeth; preparing for more. I pulled Iroh up and he nodded to me.
My old lessons of weaponry had stuck in my mind and the Fire spirit in me breathed again. Maybe what Sokka had said about the Fire Nation people was right; maybe I am nothing but a bloodthirsty savage. But I would not get what was 'coming to me.' Particularly not death. With each wound I opened upon flesh, I felt excited; the thrill of the battle, I finally got to experience again.
When the blade failed on me (I guess the Dai Li was saving the best Earthbenders for last), I grabbed another fallen sword and continued to stain my hands. A flash of brilliant swordsmanship caught my eye and I watched as my nephew plowed through the fighters.
A boy came at me and, not hesitating, I spun to face him and plunged the same sword deep into his chest. He made a small retching sound and dropped the slingshot he was holding. I wrenched it from his chest and watched as the dark stain spread throughout his green garments. The tingles made me feel exulted and partially ill simultaneously.
There was no turning back now. I ran towards them and, with one swift swing of my sword, decapitated the person in front of me.
"You—!" he began, but I pressed one of my fingers to his lips.
"Look at me; I am a killer. I am a ruthless fighter. And I'm content to be that; I'd rather be this way and die than live bound by a straitjacket and forced into a mask." It was one of the first plays I'd seen upon my arrival at the Fire Nation, and I was sure Iroh would remember it as well.
He took my hand and held it to his heart. "We have both been hiding who we were. No more." He replied. A smile came back and I restrained myself from embracing him there. "No more." I echoed.
"Isn't that sweet?" a cruel and gruff voice sounded from behind us. It was a soldier, an actual Earthbender, judging by his uniform. I braced myself for attack, but was true to my word to Iroh and did not use my Firebending powers.
I tossed the long sword, point first, in a straight line towards him and it barely scraped the lower part of his right abdomen. He cried out in surprise and pain; his hands instinctively covering the open wound. Before I'd had a chance to finish him off, Zuko knocked the man off balance and he collapsed on the ground.
I slowly went over to his fallen body and watched as blood from his wound seeped through his thick fingers onto the ground, then looked straight into his eyes with my emotionless ones. His eyes flashed in shock, then anger; most likely from a blow to his pride because he was bested by a female, and an elderly one at that.
He held up a hand and pointed at me, as if I was a simple 'magic illusion' and would disappear once he blinked. He stared at me for a long time.
"You, Kana of the Southern Water Tribe, are a traitor to your people!" the soldier finally shouted.
'Kana of the Southern Water Tribe.' No.
No.
"No." I said; digging my nails into the palms of my hands. The guard stared at me.
"Not Kana." As far as I was concerned, that girl was only a shadow of what I have become.
"I am not of the Southern Water Tribe, nor of the Northern! I am of the Fire Nation! I am Ouritsu Yukihiya. I am—." Without a second thought, I felt the tingling sensation of Fire around my hands. "—A Firebender."
He was dead before his head even hit the ground. I only stood in silence for moments; staring at what I had done. "You killed him." A voice behind me said. "Welcome back, my wife." Iroh greeted, and I leaned down (I still remember when he was the one who towered over me) and smiled joyfully.
"It's good to be back, husband." I told him and, right there, kissed him in front of everyone. Our moment of reunion was cut short (damn the Earth Kingdom!) by guards rushing in entrapping us with those stupid hand-shackles, or whatever you're supposed to call them.
I always knew that being with the Fire Nation would be the end of me one way or another.
Quietly, as everyone else in the stadium stared at us with shock, the three of us slipped down into a sloped tunnel and then thrown into the same prison I thought I'd escaped just hours ago. "It's still good to be back." I whispered to Iroh beside me and even in the darkness I knew he was smiling.
Great to be back.
The days slowed into a blur; every day, we would be fed flavorless gruel and occasional meat and vegetables, along with plain water which we had to boil to ensure that it was safe to drink, and then we would be thrust and forced into the stadium again like animals and be forced to fight for our lives.
At high noon, or when too many people in the stadium were injured, we were shunted to a makeshift dugout of Earth where we were fed and bandaged up our wounds while watching our victims being taken away. When high noon passed, the daily time Firebenders' powers were at their peak, we would resume our gladiator-like challenge and continue to fight.
I knew that they were all watching me throughout the day; whoever made decisions for the city decided that this would suit better as a public spectacle and admission to the stadium was free.
Iroh and Zuko couldn't bring themselves to kill women, exactly what those women had anticipated, so I stepped in and did that for them.
I saw that the more Iroh fought, the more he became himself, the one I knew. At dusk, we were taken from the stadium back to our prison cell.
All three of us knew that there had to be a reason they were keeping us alive and fed. Iroh and Zuko couldn't be hostage-worthy; they were outlaws and wanted in the Fire Nation, and I was considered dead for nearly 2 zodiacs. The Fire Nation probably grew skeptical about me and to think that I would sudden reappear was laughable to them. The question hung over us; why were they keeping us alive?
They had followed me again.
"Why do you side with the Fire Nation?" Katara screamed at me from the entrance of the passageway.
"Why should I not?" I replied calmly.
"They've started this war! They've killed thousands! The Fire Nation only did this out of spite and a greed for power! They killed mother because of it!"
"As you've seen, my hands are just as stained as any Fire Nation soldier's, but I am fighting for my life." I tried to keep my temper in check, but the truth was on the tip of my tongue and nearly ripping my soul apart in trying to tell it.
"Gran-Gran! This is all just a big misunderstanding! We should get you back home! How could you ever even think of joining them? They're nothing but a bunch of savages!" I never liked that girl. I whipped around and my eyes blazed with hatred.
"Because their side was the only side that accepted me!" I snapped back. Pakku knew the other end of the story, but the younger generation did not, and they had what they might have called an epiphany, but I did not go to the Fire Nation just because I was rejected by the Earth Kingdom and Water Tribes; at least, that was not the sole reason.
"But Gran-Gran! You said yourself that the Fire Nation was evil!" she said.
"I said PEOPLE were evil, Katara; I never said who. You just assumed that it was the Fire Nation I was talking about." I replied.
"Why them? They're bastards with no conscious whatsoever! They deserve to die!" my 'granddaughter' stated and I rolled my eyes.
"That's a very nice way to talk about your father." I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. At once, she looked to Hakoda; horrified at her impulsive speech.
"Not Hakoda, a Fire Nation soldier sent as a spy to the Southern Water tribes 15 years ago." I snapped and it was clear that Katara and Sokka hadn't had a clue what I was talking about.
"You didn't tell them?" I demanded; turning to the little boy I had raised. Hakoda instantly looked uncomfortable. "Coward."
"A bit after Sokka was a few months old, a supposed messenger from the Northern Water Tribe came. In reality, he was a spy for the Fire Nation; they'd heard gossip that the Southern Water Tribe was hiding a weapon of destruction, which was highly doubtful if Azulon had enough common sense to know that the Water Tribe people lived an archaic life, and they'd sent 'Rai' to investigate. At the same time, Hakoda and Kita's marital union was…not exactly blissful…and when Rai came, she fell in infatuation with him. At first, she thought that she'd had no so-called competition over him, even if most girls in the Southern Water Tribe were making those hideous pig-sheep's eyes at him, since he always seemed interested in our family. But somehow, her demented mind went near mad with jealousy over the fact that he began to spend more time with me and we would always talk and laugh together on many occasions. It's ludicrous, honestly, on how she would fall so deeply in love with Rai because of his looks. So, she begins to try and 'court' him; flirting with him, trying to coerce him into spending some time with her, the whole shebang—." I paused at the confused expressions on the people in blue's faces.
"—It means the anything and everything she thought was charming and flirtatious about herself, she just went and bared it out. None of it worked. So, as a last resort, she tried to seduce him through sex." I said bluntly. Poor Sokka and Katara; I was debunking everything they thought their mother was and throwing away her reputation, calling her a hypocrite and whore, with a single sentence.
"Well, she also tried to blackmail him with the fact that she knew that Rai and I were both Firebenders, but she would never have told anyways. And then, wouldn't you know it, she gets pregnant with you, Katara. When you were born, there was a lot of controversy if you really were Hakoda's child." She didn't take my statement as a hope that she really is her father's daughter and was shaking her head in denial.
"He occasionally came back for the first 7 years of your life, always making up one excuse after another to let him go there, until the war generals decided to launch an attack on the Southern Water Tribe. Of course, you were there to witness it all. It was a cover-up; Kita realized that I was not just a Fire Nation sympathizer as she'd thought I was. The fighting broke out, and do you remember what you said to me when I whisked you into that ice-shelter, Katara?" I asked; deliberately attacking her. Her eyes widened; at last, she realized who she was insulting and why I had reacted that way.
"The world, and everyone in it, is never what it seems; you must be an outsider looking in, like I was in the Northern Water Tribes, to see everyone and everything for whom and what they really are." I concluded; turning and lightly pushing Iroh to go with me.
"W-wait." Katara's voice sounded.
Unlike the biased and dubious tone I'd heard moments before I told the story of her true parentage, this one was broken and now only curious. "Please, give me a name; a real one, of my…father." Katara pleaded.
"Haven't you heard a word I said? It's not proven that a Fire Nation spy sired you. You have your father's looks and his Waterbending skills, but you also seem to have Rai's stubbornness and ego. Maybe that's all acquired; I think that you might really be Hakoda's daughter." I replied.
Should I have told her that her possible father was a poster 'child' of infamy? "Please; you never know, please." She said softly and I sighed.
"The Southern Water Tribe at the time knew him as Rai. We know him presently as the late Admiral Zhao." It was all I said and then Iroh and I walked away. Zuko shot one glance back at her, and then turned to join us.
"The day of the Black Sun is approaching!" Sokka said a few days later. I turned from my place in the stadium, it was high noon, to face him.
"Do you honestly think Firebenders only know Firebending? In the army, at the academy, Firebenders are taught not only Firebending, but weaponry and martial arts. And besides; a Solar Eclipse, total darkness, lasts only for about 3 minutes and it takes about 10 minutes for the moon to cover the sun completely anyway and also to move away from the sun. And haven't you seen that Firebenders can summon fire at any time and it is still strong, not just in the day?" I snapped at him. As if it would've helped.
"They will kill you sooner or later!" he shouted back.
"Of course they will! They will kill us all on the day of the Black Sun! Don't you see? As the moon blocks out the rays of the sun, we will be weaken, but we can still fight. And then, in the 3 minutes of darkness, they will launch their attack. I don't know what will happen; maybe they'll resort to using their bending power and crush us, maybe they'll pelt us with Earth until we surely die from our wounds, or the guards will try and kidnap us and slit our throats before dumping us into a river." I scoffed.
"They would rather attack us in our weakest moment rather than face us with honor and dignity. They are cowards."
"They are not cowards; they are soldiers who have true strength but their lives are wasted because they have to kill those Fire Nation savages!" he shot back.
"What is true strength? Is it determined by the weapon in your hand? When you rise to the level of mastery? How many heads you sever? How much power you have? How hard-trained you are?" I demanded.
"Or is it accepting that you have strengths and weaknesses, that you are human, when you always keep your promises, and know that virtues, like that of honor and dignity, can never be taken away from you. That you can walk tall and always stand up for what you believe in without fearing others, and earn other peoples' respect without using a title or boasting of a feat you performed; just able to let your true self show without any feeling of self-consciousness.You might want to rethink the definition of True Strength; it doesn't suit you to be like that." I said and a loud gong rang for the fighting to commence again.
"Those stories you told; about your last years in the Northern Water Tribes, they weren't true, were they?" The Avatar asked me.
"I have not told you half of my experiences." The flood of new citizens vying for the prize money, 5000 gold pieces, poured into the arena.
They kept showing up and watching me kill, and it got very annoying.
Pakku and Katara were persistent; they both refused to acknowledge that I was not Kana or their Gran-Gran anymore and kept trying to bring me 'back'.
"But think about all you have to live for in the Water Tribes! You have Hakoda, the only boy whom you have truly raised, you have people who seem like family, think about Pakku! He carved that elaborate necklace out of his love for you!" Katara stated.
At her last statement, I burst out laughing; needing to lean on Iroh for support. "Agni above, Pakku; have all of those years of getting hit in the face with Water and Ice damaged your memory?" I asked; knowing that Pakku must have told Katara his side of the story. Pakku looked at me desolately; he must have been so deeply in denial that he actually chose to believe what he told Katara. It almost made me feel sorry for him.
Almost.
"Let me refresh your memory, then. You first carved that necklace for my older sister, Naiya. You spoke of your love of her and her beauty; you barely took interest in anything else save for Waterbending, you tossed that necklace to me and I had to accept it; just like I've had to for every other hand-me-down from Naiya." I hissed; glaring at him. Katara turned; her expression incredulous.
"Is this true?" she demanded.
"Yes." Pakku said after moments of silence.
"Always the whore over the outcast, isn't it? You thought of me as the frail, thin little girl who couldn't possibly be related to my buxom and alluring sister; I was just second-born. Second born, second best, second rate." There was a hoarseness in my voice that made me sound like a man.
"Kana—!" he began, but I refused to let him go on.
"You must have been so disappointed when you were then betrothed to me and was probably on your knees at the oasis; begging for an alternative rather than marrying me. After I left, you must have wasted no time; Naiya, Yugoda, some other woman, and you also might have left some part of you in the Earth Kingdom." I finished, looking from him to Hakoda and still leaning on Iroh.
"Let us go back, Yukihiya; it is not good for your health to strain yourself like this." Iroh said softly. I felt my body relax at his touch and nodded; letting him settle his hand at my hip and lead me down to our dungeon cell.
I did not notice it at first, but the change in my abilities literally hit me in the face.
After being once again numbed by battle, I had not noticed that mind had taken a dangerous turn into a chaotic stage. The reason for that was mainly Pakku. Once, a few days after our 'row', I told him what I had thought was the truth years ago.
"You think of yourself as irresistible! Your ego must have taken such a blow to my rejection that you wanted to pursue me, prove me wrong, and throw it in my face! That is the only reason you acted so sycophantically affectionate towards me; your ego! Then again, I should also blame myself; I cannot believe I would be swayed by you! I probably shouldn't blame you anyway; this is exactly how you and every other of those abhorrent people you call 'Men' in the Water Tribes were raised to believe." I was shaking in rage by the time I was done and was about to attack when Iroh stopped me with a simple disarming routine that I'd taught myself to avert zodiacs earlier.
"The short fuse is a danger to those who are near it." He whispered; not a proverb, but close enough.
He calmly suggested that I go back to the cell with Zuko and he would 'tie up the loose ends' there. I obeyed.
The day after the tiff, I was preparing to bend Lightning at another person when I felt that something was not right.
A loud explosion, a blast of heat, and a rush of force that threw me off of my feet. I was hurled backwards and onto the ground; giving way a moment of weakness for my enemy.
Realization hit me harder than a rock; I could no longer bend lightning.
I punched the wall again, as if it would give me some kind of answer.
"How can I suddenly not be able to bend lightning? I've been able to do so for sixty-five years! Even longer than that!" I yelled; the question originally meant to have been for myself.
"Because your emotions are clouding your mind, thereby inhibiting your ability to bend a fire meant for the emotionless." Iroh answered sagaciously. Instead of listening to him, I lost my temper.
"What emotions? I am angry, of course, but this city killed our son and is imprisoning us and treating us like animals!"
"That, too, but I was referring to Pakku."
"Pakku?" I demanded.
"You're still in love with him." He elaborated.
"Never!" I cried out; quickly dropping to my knees before him, as if I were ashamed of the (non-existent, I repeated fiercely) fact about myself. He looked up to meet my eyes; his own unreadable.
"I believe you are, and I do not chastise you for it; everyone loves someone else, be it a childhood crush or a teenage romance fantasy, before they meet their life partner." Iroh said; making me feel ashamed of the ignominious behavior I had demonstrated.
"Listen to me; because of your last impression on Pakku, he won't take you seriously. No, do not glare at me like that, you know it's true; you're just not hitting him in the right places. Let me speak with him for you." His eyes gleamed; the mischievous one I loved to see.
"What? You think you're the only one with issues?" I asked upon seeing that Zuko was staring at me.
"So, you're my aunt." Azula said coldly. Possibly.
The day was still bright and sunny when she and her two 'sidekicks' entered the arena. After that moment of pause, we went right back at it; kicking, punching, blasting, deflecting, and all the while watching each other to predict what the other would do next. All of a sudden, I felt someone jab at me from behind; managing to deflect Azula's blow, I turned and saw that it was Zuko. Iroh and I regarded the new status quo; four teenagers against two elderly.
Once, I saw the child Avatar flying over to help, and I shot a fire arc at him. "Stay out of it!" I yelled at him as he flew back to his seat, lightly shielding his burn wound.
I'd gotten the upper hand on Azula; holding her hands back as I used my knee to bend her back over. Without thinking, I jerked her arms back; hearing the small pop as I dislocated them and her scream of pain. I considered breaking her hands beyond repair for a moment, then thought the better of it; by the time she regained control of her arms, it wouldn't matter anymore.
Azula suddenly screamed for guards; the Dai Li rushing forward to do her bidding. They literally pushed the spectators in all different directions and grabbed Iroh and myself; I felt someone squeeze the back of my neck a second before I passed out.
I woke up by myself in a dungeon; the familiar sound and motion of a Fire Nation ship sailing filling my senses.
Shakily, I stood up and moved to the barred door. "What day is it?" I asked the passing guard.
"It's the twentieth day of the fourth month." It was Iroh's eighty-third birthday, and little more than three weeks had passed since I had first arrived at Ba Sing Se.
"Where is my husband? I wish to tell him a happy birthday." It didn't strike to me until later that the guard was being very polite to me for a fallen-from-grace-princess, even for a prisoner.
"I will deliver him that message." He promised, then went away.
About six days later, we'd apparently docked in the Fire Nation.
Early morning, soldiers came into my cell and dragged me up to the deck. Iroh was there as well and, though we were not shackled, it was palpable that we were prisoners to be paraded through the streets before being dragged to prison. The crowds were utterly silent as we marched past; our heads held high.
Suddenly, a bold voice shouted out "Agni bless our Prince and Princess!" and others soon followed.
Azula screamed for the crowds to quiet, but her threats had no bite to it.
After walking through the streets, we were led to the prison they'd kept Naiya and Yugoda over fifty years ago.
Oh, the irony! Review, please.
