"Kate!" I all but scream. My volume must've been alarming because the whole lot ran into the foyer.
"Ana?" She was looking around. "What's wrong?"
"I'm fine. I just- Ted called me and he knows. He overheard Taylor on the phone." Mia's hand went to her mouth in horror. "Elliot can you go up and tell Christian that I'm going to the house? Taylors outside."
I kissed them all goodbye. When I was in Elliot's arms he whispered, "He's gonna be okay Ana. Lelliot will take care it." and gave me a small smile. I was caught off guard. We've never had that kind of relationship. He was always just Kate's husband and Christian's brother but his words of encouragement did make me feel a bit better.
On the way home I thought about the night I was in the hospital, after my second run in with Hyde. Carrick was there and doting over unborn Teddy, who was just blip at the time. And during the trial, he was a heaven sent.
Remembering how much it hurt me when Ray was in the hospital, I can't even begin to fathom what Christian is feeling. Carrick isn't his biological father but nor is Ray mine and the connection we share wouldn't be stronger if he was.
"Ted?" I walk into Aria's room knowing he'd be there keeping vigil.
"Mom!" He runs into my arms smashing himself into me. "Mommy." He cries and it hits home. He hasn't called me "Mommy" in years.
"It's going to be okay Sweet Boy." I'm stroking his head. "Everything is going to be okay."
"Can I sleep with you tonight?" I wipe the tears from his round cheeks and he wipes his nose with the back of his hand. I frown. I know Christian wouldn't normally approve but under the given circumstances…
"Of course sweetie." I pick him up and carry him, face in my neck, to my room.
After I change my clothes and I think Teddy is sleeping, he looks over at me. "Why did grandpa have to die?" he whispered, his eyes wide and pain obvious in his eyes. "He wasn't mean and he never yelled at me or Phoebe if we messed up. He always told me he loved me."
I sat and gathered him into my lap, rocking him like I used to when he was younger. "Sweetie, grandpa was a good person. There is an old saying that the good die young. I know you might not think so, but Grandpa wasn't an old man just yet. God gives us people so we can be happy but over time he starts to miss them so he takes them back so he can be happy." I really try my hardest but how do you tell your seven year old son someone he loved is gone forever?
"So because Grandpa was good God took him back? Because he missed him?" I could hear him turning it over in his mind.
"Exactly."
"But you and Dad are good too. Is God going to take you too?"
"Me and Dad aren't going anywhere. Don't worry about that Teddy." He wraps his arms tighter around me. "I don't want you to leave Mommy."
"I'm here baby. I'm here." We sat like that, me rocking him, until he was sleep and I laid him on the bed beside me.
I decided to call Christian. I was beyond worried and resolved that if he didn't answer I was going back to the house. He answered on the first ring. "Ana." He breathed.
"How are you?" I didn't know what to say. I know he wasn't okay, hell I wasn't even okay.
"You left. How's Ted?" Oh Fifty, always trying to protect everyone. It's you that needs protecting right now.
"He's fine a bit scared but I talked to him. He'll be okay." Neither of us spoke.
"Christian."
"Ana?"
"Talk to me." It's been years since I've had to plead with him to share his feeling, thoughts, or emotions with me.
"I'm coming home. You should get some rest." He murmured.
"I will. I'll sleep when you sleep." There was no way I'd be able to sleep knowing that he was out there alone.
"Ana?"
"Yes?"
"I love you."
"I love you too." I croaked. I can't cry. Not right now. He needs me to be strong.
"I'm coming home to you baby." I hear the car start.
"I'm waiting."
And I did. I sat and watched Teddy sleep, running my hair through his hair, pulling his thumb from his mouth. He hasn't sucked his thumb since he was three years old.
Then I felt Christian in the doorway. I didn't look up from Teddy. In fear? Not of Christian but of the unknown. I don't know how he'll react.
He undressed, came to lay next me, leaving me in the middle of him and Teddy, and snaked his arms around my waist.
"Hey." I whispered and kissed him on the top of his head. "How are you holding up?"
He shrugged. "I feel like it's not real. I feel like I'm going to wake up and we're going to be back in Fiji." I don't say anything. I don't know how to help and it's killing me. "Seeing my mom like that. She's unraveling at the seams."
"She's lost the love of her life. If it we're you I'd-" He shoots me a silencing look. I know he doesn't want to hear about either of our demises.
"I just don't get it. Why him?" He twirled the ends of my hair in his fingers.
"Teddy asked me the same thing." I muse.
"What did you tell him?" He looks up at me. Is that humor in his eyes?
"Carrick was a good person. The good die young. God loans us people so we can be happy but eventually we have to give them back so he can be happy. Or something along those lines." He doesn't respond and tears are falling again. Fuck! I can't break down too.
"Ana?" He's worried.
"Christian, I want to help. I want to take care of you and make this all better and I don't know how. I can't take care of my own husband and it stinks!" I'm sniffling.
"Hush. You are helping. Being here with me like this now. You do take care of me. You are taking care of me. Ana, I just needed to make sure my mother was okay. There's no place I'd rather be right now than here with you." God I love this man.
"And Ted?" I smile.
"Of course and Ted and Phoebe and Aria. You guys are just as much my family as Mia and Elliot are. My parents, they're saints. Putting up with me when I was less than pleasurable to be around. Carrick, he always the father I needed, even when I wouldn't let him be. I just wish that things could have been different. I wish we could have had the relationship he and Elliot had when we were younger. I wish I had more time-" I look down and he's crying. My poor poor Fifty. He never cries.
I pull his face up to mine and look him in the eyes. "Christian, it's going to be okay. You're going to be okay. If I have to walk through Hell and back I will make sure that we're okay." I wipe his tears away like I did for Teddy. "Now buck up soldier. The world's spinning out there and we don't want to miss it." I smile and so does he. He's said those words to Phoebe on many occasions.
"So now I'm the baby?" He cocks his head to the side.
"You've always been my baby." I kiss him sweetly on the head and we both drift gently to sleep.
"It was a beautiful service." Emily looks stunning in her black pant suit. I randomly wonder why she isn't married yet.
"Thank you Emily." We hug briefly then Christian is on his way out of the church, holding Phoebe, family in tow.
He kisses me swiftly on the cheek. "Are you ready to go?" He asks.
I nod and we all file into the double long limousine. No one says anything, Phoebe plays idly with Christian's fingers and even Aria, more vocal these day, has nothing to add.
The driver drops us all off at Grace's home, now for sale, and we don't linger. We all kiss our goodbyes and retreat to our separate cars. Christian is saying goodbye to his mother and she looks torn. I can't begin to understand the pain she's going through.
"Ana, do you mind staying with my mom for a while? I'll send Taylor to collect you later."
"Um yeah sure." I don't really understand why she chose me but I'm not sure I'd want to be alone either.
I walk into the master suite, Grace has done away with her shoes and is sitting crossed legged on the floor at the foot of her bed.
"Grace?" I go and kneel beside her.
"Ana promise me a couple of things." She's not crying; her face is completely blank as if she's not really here having this conversation.
"Of course. Anything." She grabs my hands and her face cracks into a smile. She winces as if smiling is painful.
"Take care of Mia. She's my only girl and can be a bit scatterbrained at times." She stops and breathes deeply. "Promise me you'll take care of him. He needs you Ana."
"Of course Grace. I-"
"And promise me you'll love the kids. Even when they get older and test your patience and push you to the edge which they will. I assure you they will." I nod knowing she's not done. "Including this one." Her hands go to my stomach. WHAT?! I'm not pregnant. At least I don't think I am. I've been on birth control since Aria was born. "A boy I think." Her head turns to the side. "Oh Ana, name him Carrick, wont you?"
"Grace I'm not-" I don't understand where all of this is coming from.
"Yes. Here," She touches my under the right side of my chin. "You always get a tad bit bigger here first. I always noticed it." I nod again and she stands up and ruffles out her skirt.
"I don't know what to do with all of this." She walks over to the closet and is looking at Carrick's clothing. "I can't bear to throw them away. Especially this one." She pulls out a suit. "This is the suit he wore to our wedding." I eye it curiously. It looked familiar. "And to yours." She turned and smiled. "And Mia's and Eliot's. 'Connectivity my dear Grace. It's all about connectivity.' He'd say. He was funny that way sometimes. I think maybe I should give it to Christian. He'd know what to do with it. He always knows what to do." He voice trails off and it occurs to me that I'm not sure if she realizes she's saying all of this out loud.
"I think you should keep all of them." I murmured. "I would." I walk over and put my hand on her shoulder.
"Perhaps you're right Anastasia." She breathed. "Perhaps you're right."
I helped her pack things into boxes to move into her new house. She told all of us she couldn't stay in this house anymore; too many memories, but she still wanted to be in a big house so she could have all of her children and grandchildren around her. She's moving into a house a few houses down from Eliot, per his request.
"Thank you for helping me today Ana. I know you probably think I'm a crazy old lady who's lost her marbles."
I embrace her for longer than I usually would but it's fair to say she needed it. "Of course I don't think that. I love you. We all do!"
"I thank God for you everyday Anastasia. I really do." Oh Grace!
"You're going to make me cry." I tease.
"Alright. Go home to your husband before he puts out an Amber Alert." We both laugh and it's good to see her more cheery.
"You're coming over for Thanksgiving aren't you?"
"I wouldn't miss it."
I wave to her as I get in the car. "Taylor?"
"Mrs. Grey?"
"Can we make a quick stop?"
"To?"
"The pharmacy." Let's see how out of her marbles Grace really is.
"Ana?"
"In here!" I shout from the bathroom.
"How is she?" Before I can answer he laughs at me. "What are you doing?" Granted I probably did look foolish with my hand under me while peeing. In response I just nod my head in the direction of the packaging on the sink. His eyes went wide. "Really?"
"Well we'll find out in about five minutes."
"But you've been on the shot. Right?" He looks at me accusatory.
"Yes Christian. I've kept up with my shots but your mother said I was pregnant. She said she could see it in my face."
"How is she?" He asks again.
"She's good for a woman who's just lost her husband. We were laughing when I left. At you I might add."
"Well I'm glad I could add some humor to the situation." He murmurs and takes the stick from me.
"Two lines and we start decorating another nursery. One line and I can drink at Thanksgiving." I walk out of the bathroom and start to undress. "You know I'm really excited for Thanksgiving this year since you FINALLY agreed to let us host this year. I'll get to be a real Suzie home maker for a day." I slip on a pair of shorts and one of Christian's t-shirts.
"You know you could just, I don't know, buy some t shirts." He smirked.
"Oh but Mr. Grey, then I wouldn't be able to get that reaction out of you."
"Well you might want to buy some coveralls."
"For what?"
"Looks like we're going to be painting." He holds up the pregnancy test. "Two lines."
I squeal and Christian swoops me up into a hug.
"Congratulations Mrs. Grey."
