If you thought it was complicated before…


"There is no way that's gonna go well."

"Have faith in them, Gojyo. They just need to talk a few things out."

"Sanzo's not the only one he's pissed at you know. Did he make eye contact with you?"

"Well…no."

"Me either."

"Still, I think it is best if we leave them be."

"Good. My thoughts exactly."

Having successfully unpacked the jeep, rented rooms with the promise of payment from Genjou Sanzo himself (thank goodness the innkeeper is a fan), and now carting their portion of things to their room, Gojyo wants nothing to do with Goku and Sanzo right now and everything to do with his best friend.

Once they have reached their room and tossed their things to the floor—though Hakkai did aim to toss his onto the available chair—Gojyo grabs Hakkai for a quick kiss before suggesting very happily, "Care to find the hot spots in town, baby? A few drinks, a good time…a room waiting for us when we get back…" He accompanies his words with a more than telling grin.

"Mmm," Hakkai hums, not quite ready to let Gojyo go after that kiss, "Marvelous idea, Gojyo. But while we do have some funds of our own to spend, I do not know if Sanzo wishes us to wear ourselves out should he decide on an early start tomorrow."

"Fuck that. We're in no rush. 'Sides, with monkey-boy in a tissy, we'll be stranded here for at least a few days. They don't' know how to get over dumb arguments the way we do."

Hakkai, though he had been about to lean forward once more, pulls back instead. He retains his grip on the front of the kappa's shirt. "What dumb arguments? Have we had any fights lately I don't know about?"

"I'm talking back in the day, smartass." Gojyo says with a crookedness added to his grin. "You'd get all passive-aggressive with me over using my beer cans as ash trays and I'd get pissed you washed my favorite pair of underwear while I was on a hot streak. Shit like that."

"Lucky undergarments is revolting, Gojyo," Hakkai says with a wrinkle of his nose, "Even if it does psychologically improve your poker game. Besides, if I recall, you weren't fairing too well with the ladies until I got my hands on those boxers. You should thank me."

Crimson red eyebrows lift in knowing disbelief. "You saying you want a thank you for helping me get laid?"

"I…" Hakkai grimaces, realizing he has been caught in his own trap. "I see your point." Coming to a new conclusion, Hakkai regains his smirk with a vengeance. "If ever you believe you have reason to thank me for that again, Gojyo, please realize that if I am not the bearer and executioner, I will have to find something intimate to eradicate, for penance's sake of course."

Gojyo's eyes cross. Sometimes Hakkai's logic can make his head spin; Hakkai's phrasing can turn it around backwards. "Come again?"

A darker shade of green overtakes Hakkai's eyes, leaving them in a strangely sinister light. The fact that the healer is smiling in his cold-blooded manner makes the expression even more chilling. "Gojyo…" he says, and he releases his grip on Gojyo's shirt to better wrap his arms low around the kappa's waist and pull in close enough to whisper. "If you ever dare leave me for some woman you meet in a bar, I am afraid I might have to do something quite rash to your…manhood."

Gojyo gulps. "Uhhh…how about something to the woman instead?"

The sinister light flickers but does not dim. "Do not test me, Gojyo. You wouldn't like the answer." And just as swiftly, that bent darkness is gone, leaving Hakkai's eyes a warming emerald once more. "Not that I think I have anything to worry about, of course. Now, weren't we going to see what sort of fun we might get out of this town?"

"You're not worried about the monk and monkey?"

"Are you?"

All hesitation and uncomfortable presence washes out of Gojyo and he is back to thinking mischievously about what he can do with a night on the town with his favorite companion. He has grown used to Hakkai's changing countenances and darker moments; he has learned not to give them too much weight.

"Hakkai," he says, "Baby, if you wanna go out, then we're going out. I don't think anything on this earth could stop me. Certainly not teenage angst. Goku and Sanzo can figure things out for themselves. Goku's a quick forgiver anyway."

Before Gojyo can successfully pull away from Hakkai and head out to hit the town, Hakkai grabs hold of Gojyo's forearm and pulls the redhead back to him. "Ah, ah, Gojyo. Must we really leave so quickly? It isn't all that late yet. We could find ways to make the time pass into evening a bit…more."

"You really are insatiable lately." Gojyo willingly returns to Hakkai's embrace, and while Hakuryuu—having initially followed them but now nesting on one of the beds—hopes they are paying enough attention to not fall on top of him. "Insatiable." Gojyo repeats around mouthfuls of Hakkai. "I really love that word…"

-----

Goku had not slowed his pace since pulling out of Sanzo's grip. He is halfway to the back of the inn now where a small alley leads to a rear door. Anything Goku might do to escape Sanzo is worth it, even if he has to buy his own room with what little money he keeps.

How could Sanzo choose that thing over him?

"Goku!"

Goku ignores the call, hurrying down the alley and towards the back door. He grasps the handle and is about to pull it open when that same fierce grip on his arm clamps down.

With little thought to sensitivity, Sanzo yanks Goku's arm hard and spins the boy around to face him. The monkey's eyes are wild with anger and wet as if at any moment that fury could turn into furious tears.

Sanzo refuses to be moved into pity. "You are out of line. You think you can turn your back on me, run from me, when all I ask is to talk? No. It doesn't work that way. If you want this to keep going then you have to be honest with me. Do you understand? If you keep lying to me, that's it. I'll be the one walking away next."

"Then go!" Goku yells back, jerking his arm out of Sanzo's grip and steadying his footing to better face off against the priest. "What's the difference?! You'd rather have him anyway!"

Sanzo is stunned. Not only is he incensed that Goku is immediately yelling—much as that is not a surprise—but he is certain the monkey has gone insane. "What the hell are you talking about? If you're actually going to stand here and be jealous over yourself, then you've had one too many hits to the head!"

Too angry to face Sanzo without fearing a violent outburst, Goku whips around again to open the door. He has barely reached for the handle this time when two thin but strong hands grip the back of his shoulders and slam him forward. Goku spins back to face Sanzo, his eyes wider with anger and his teeth grit together like a fanged animal. But the priest is upon him already, pressing him back into the door.

"How many times do I have to say this!?" Sanzo seethes. "You're the same fucking person! If I love one of you I love both of you! I'm stuck with both of you! Lucky fucking me!" Sanzo slams his right palm into the door, reverberating the wood behind Goku's head. "And not only do I have to deal with your psycho concept of self, oh no, I also have to deal with you lying to my face. Not being able to tell me something, that I have tried to be patient with, even if it pisses me off, but this. You have never lied to me. Ever."

"Shut up!" Goku says, squirming against Sanzo's hold. "It's not like you tell me everything!"

Sanzo pulls himself closer to Goku's now beat-red face, imposing and ominous. "You want me to tell you everything? I'll tell you the whole fucking tail. You'll love it…" Sanzo's darker side has gotten the better of him, and perhaps without realizing what he is doing, he reaches inside his robes and pulls out his Smith and Wesson.

The anger in Goku melts into a sudden cold panic.

"Want to know why I picked this for my weapon?" the monk asks tauntingly. "Huh? I could have chosen anything. Anything. But I chose this. A six-shot pistol with shit range. Why do you think I did that?"

Goku doesn't answer; he doesn't think Sanzo expects him too anyway.

"I chose this gun…" Sanzo starts, and with an expression Goku never thought he would ever see directed at him, Sanzo raises the gun and turns it to press the barrel against his own temple. "I chose it…so it would be just the right size for this." Sanzo thumbs the hammer with a definite click.

"Stop it! Stop it!"

Goku screams, and kicks out at Sanzo with such emotional unrestraint, the priest's legs are knocked out from under him and he tumbles back. Sanzo is so shocked, his grip on Goku releases and the monkey, thankfully, does not go down with him. The gun is knocked to the ground beside Sanzo's leg.

Staring down at the winded monk, Goku trembles from all the anger and fear and confliction within him. He shakes his head consistently, his voice a resonant chant. "Don't say that. Never say that. You would never ever do that. You're the one always telling all of us, all of everyone, how stupid and pointless it is to die when you can live. You didn't take it for that. You didn't. You wouldn't. You're lying!"

Startled at first, Sanzo's expression quickly melts back into a stoic, angry mask. "Wrong. The only one lying here is you."

Goku straightens back against the door. He knows Sanzo was not serious about using the gun just now, but he also knows, purely by the monk's cold stare as well as his unwavering voice, that Sanzo wasn't lying to him about the gun's initial purpose. The last thing Sanzo would ever want anyone to know about him is a weakness. Goku knows Sanzo has told him something no one else knows, and will probably ever know.

Shouldn't he be able to do the same?

A vivid memory of Seiten Taisei curled up happily as he slept next to a perfectly complacent Sanzo surfaces in Goku's mind. He can remember how it felt, what the beast saw and said, and every sensation besides, but it was still like being an observer. He remembers everything that happened, every feeling, but they are not yet one. The difference is enough for Goku to still feel betrayed. Though not as much as he still feels frightened.

He is angry, yes, but Sanzo is too trusting, too loyal. He does not know the secret Goku hides. The secret that it was because of him, because of the beast and Goku's own stupidity, that everyone his current friends loved had to die.

"I can't…" Goku whimpers, and the tears that had been merely glossy possibilities come pouring out. "I can't! I'm sorry I lied about him, but why can't I want to get rid of him? Why!? It's my fault too, it is, but if it wasn't for him…"

"What are you talking about?" Sanzo has not risen from the ground, too entranced by Goku's strange state and outburst. "What don't you want him telling us? What are you trying to hide? For someone who hates secrets so much you sure are good at keeping them."

Sanzo's comment makes Goku flinch. He is a hypocrite. He knows that. But maybe that is better than the scorn and hatred that might follow should he tell the truth.

"I can't…" Goku says again. "I'm sorry, Sanzo. I don't…I don't want you to hate me. I don't want him to be the better choice. He'll tell you and he won't understand how much it will change everything. Please, just let me get rid of him—"

"No. You can't just get rid of him, idiot. Either you keep that crown on your head for the rest of your life, or you live together. You can't cut off part of your personality. He is you."

Goku just shakes his head. "I don't want you to hate me." He says again.

Getting up slowly from the ground finally, Sanzo reaches for his gun and tucks it back inside his robes. He feels Goku watching him but takes his time anyway, dusting the dirt from his clothing and righting himself. When he does at last look at Goku, his face is a stone wall. "If you don't want that," he says, "Then you should have chosen to tell me the truth." Turning swiftly to head back out of the alleyway, Sanzo averts his gaze and starts walking. His gate does not falter. His resolve is as stubborn as his expression.

"Sanzo!" Goku calls.

The priest does not stop.

"Sanzo! Please, just understand! I can't. I just…can't."

Sanzo offers nothing but his retreating back.

While the tears are still streaming down his cheeks, Goku's fists clench at his sides and he slams both of them back into the wall. "Fine! Go, you…asshole!" But the conviction cannot accompany Goku's words; he wants too desperately for Sanzo to turn around. "Sanzo! Sanzo!"

When at last Sanzo disappears around the corner, Goku has lost the will to call out. He doesn't think. He doesn't hesitate. He pushes off from the door and takes off running, as fast and as hard as he can, down the other end of the alley and into the city.

-----

Hakkai and Gojyo had been intimately involved when they heard Sanzo's stomping approach and the slam of the door to the room next to theirs. They didn't have to pause in their actions to know that the monk and monkey's argument hadn't ended well. Hakkai considered going over to talk with the monk but Gojyo was able to convince him it wouldn't solve anything when both of them were probably still strung out and hot-headed at the moment. Hakkai, amazed at Gojyo's logic, agreed, and the pair has since gone out as planned to see what the town might offer. Hakuryuu, more than happy to have the room to himself, has happily stayed behind.

Of course, Hakkai still plans to at least pop in on Sanzo and Goku later once they have gotten the chance to cool off.

"Hey, Hakkai, check this one out." Gojyo mentions rather excitedly, gripping Hakkai's arm so he can better pull the healer's attention towards the club on their right. "See that sign in front? Youkai welcome. Can you believe it? Maybe old Goddess of Bitchiness doesn't need us after all. Seems the people around here don't mind the youkai gettin' back to normal."

Hakkai can barely believe his eyes. Up until now they haven't run across any youkai, knowing that most of the western ones have migrated to Houtou Castle. This is the first place further East where there has been any sign of them.

Gojyo's grip on Hakkai's arm tightens and Hakkai turns to look at Gojyo in concern. The kappa is staring ahead, scanning the area and apparently finding something truly remarkable. Hakkai follows that crimson gaze and understands immediately.

There are youkai in the town, freely walking about. Not many, and a number of the humans around rush past quickly or toss the youkai glares, but many youkai and humans meet gazes and wave like friendly neighbors.

A few people in this town are trying, and that is saying a lot for so soon after the end of the chaos.

"How quickly has it spread that the minus wave is done for?"

"I don't know, Gojyo. Perhaps the youkai here didn't cause as much trouble. I could imagine most of them went to Houtou Castle to serve or got sent further East in wait for us. This town might have been a sort of eye of the storm after the initial attacks."

Gojyo lets out a whistle at a particularly curvy youkai brunette that winks at him before going into the club. "I forget what it's like to mingle."

Hakkai's right leg juts out from his body to come in contact with Gojyo's shin. Completely accidental, of course.

"Ah! I meant to mingle races. In general. Geez."

"Of course you did, Gojyo." Hakkai's smile is back to being sinister.

Gojyo decides to change the subject. "So…wanna check out the club and see what's to see, or what? You're who I want to have fun with tonight." Gojyo moves his grip from Hakkai's arm to around the brunette's back. "Sound good, baby?"

A few passerbys give Hakkai and Gojyo the same look they gave the youkai.

They ignore such things entirely, of course, too much invested in each other to care what anyone else might think.

"Absolutely." Hakkai says and he steals a kiss before tugging the redhead after him. "I can't remember the last time I had you all to myself for a night like this when it didn't matter if we made money for groceries. I feel like being extravagant and juvenile."

"If that's the same as wild and crazy, then I'm all for it."

The pair is almost to the door when a familiar voice calls after them, freezing them in their tracks. "Oi!" the voice says, and they can hear the smile that accompanies it, "Should've known you guys would frequent dives like this."

Gojyo whips around so fast he loses his grip on Hakkai, nearly knocking them both off balance. It hasn't been all that long, but with the way this past year has been, Gojyo can't help loving the sight of the particular youkai in front of him. "Holy shit, Jien!" he calls. "I mean Doku, or whatever the hell, just…what are you doing here?"

The clubs and bars on the strip are just now getting full as the sun finally sets, and out of the bustling crowd of people Dokugakuji appears in his white, long-sleeved tunic, youkai features out for all to see, smiling jovially. "Hey, bro," he says, and swings a fist to punch Gojyo's arm. "I was hoping for some quality time. Can't stand being a third wheel round those new lovebirds at the castle. Though I s'pose I'm still a third wheel, huh?" Dokugakuji nods in greeting to Hakkai, hoping to be contradicted.

Hakkai smiles in return. "Not at all, Doku-san. We were heading for the club after all, and that's certainly not being alone. You wouldn't be imposing. I can imagine Kougaiji and Yaone are in a slightly more amorous state than ourselves, being so newly in love."

Gojyo tries not to cough too loudly. Hakkai is only a good liar when Gojyo isn't standing next to him with the truth written all over his face.

"At any rate," Hakkai continues, bowing his head in an offertory gesture, "If you have come for time with Gojyo, I certainly wouldn't want to intrude. Can we agree to compromise and enjoy an evening all together?"

Gojyo chuckles, "Just so long as that together part ends outside the bedroom, okay?" He really had to say it, knowing his brother and Hakkai as he does.

As expected, Dokugakuji makes a disgusted face and hits Gojyo in the arm again.

Hakkai, however, laughing in that dangerous tone of his, leans in close to Gojyo and whispers, "Don't tease about things you might not have much control over once you've been drinking. You never know what I might do without proper supervision." Hakkai pulls back with a grin, leaving Dokugakuji out of the loop and Gojyo in a state of horrified shock.

'That better be a joke!"

"Ahahaha, of course, Gojyo."

"That face as untrustworthy as it looks?" Dokugakuji leans forward towards his brother.

"Yep."

Hakkai feigns a scowl. "I resent that."

"Come on, you two!" Dokugakuji says, grabbing both brunette and redhead around the neck with a joint embrace that he can better move them forward with. "This is one of the few towns around that really did live in harmony before the mess. Now that things are back to normal, the beer still flows and the fun is still had by all. Let's join in!"

Gojyo goes along willingly, laughing and loving that he can once again enjoy an evening with his brother.

Hakkai, pleased for Gojyo's sake, tags along. He tenses slightly under Dokugakuji's pull, but reminds himself to be gracious. Much as he may disapprove of Jien having left young Gojyo behind, Dokugakuji and adult Gojyo now have a chance to make up for things. It is something Hakkai can never have with his own sibling. He would never wish to deny such a thing from someone else.

Only a small part of him, the vindictive, unforgiving part that still occasionally hates himself on raining days, feels a humming anger for the youkai. For all youkai. There are many in the club, enjoying life again amongst human friends. That too Hakkai should be happy about, but the humming seems louder than usual.

It must be being around so many youkai, Hakkai tells himself, since for so long being around youkai meant having an enemy to defeat. That is no longer true. Hakkai tries to quiet the humming, to enjoy the evening. As long as he can focus his energy on Gojyo he doesn't hear the humming as clearly, and so he does just that. Focusing on Gojyo is easy even with Dokugakuji sitting next to him at their table.

They order several rounds of alcohol and begin reminiscing about battles that didn't end in riffs between the groups. The music is loud around them, human and youkai women scantily dressed pass by, and amazingly, Gojyo hardly gives them a glance.

Hakkai feels fairly certain he can keep the humming, that persistent anger and temper of his, down to a dull roar. For now.

-----

Goku's fists are so tight at his sides he could break the skin if Sanzo didn't insist he keep his nails trim. He isn't watching where he is going. He is merely walking, head somewhat lowered, feet determined to continue on in whatever direction he is going, and his face is grim. He is so angry at Sanzo he thinks he might scream, and make everyone else on the streets stare at him in fear. Random screaming people aren't generally safe, after all. But Goku does not scream. He is also angry at himself. He knows how easily he could end this fight. One moment of truth. One quick explanation and it would be over.

Maybe over forever. And that's what is keeping Goku from turning around.

Sanzo loves him. Goku knows that. He loves Sanzo. Goku has never doubted that. But when Seiten Taisei gets thrown into the mix, things get complicated. When a past that only Goku remembers gets thrown in as well, things get dangerous. Goku could lose everything.

Maybe they wouldn't hate me, maybe they'd understand, Goku tries to tell himself. The part of him that really does hate secrets understands where Sanzo is coming from. But the fear in him is greater. He wishes it wasn't. He really does. And his anger for that fear is growing, making him displace it and believe he is angry at Sanzo more than anything.

A sign for a shabu-shabu restaurant blinks up above Goku and catches his eyes. Food is often the only thing that can stop his momentum. Usually, Goku hates to eat alone, but he has a little money with him, and he thinks better on a satisfied stomach anyway. He decides to go in and steps through the door to find the place only partially full. No worries about getting a table. The menu up front shows pretty reasonable prices too.

"Welcome." Comes a pleasant, rich voice from Goku's right. "Are you on your own tonight, young man?"

Goku turns to the hostess with the beginnings of a smile on his face, enjoying that she called him a young man instead of boy, since it is so rare, and also feeling a certain gravitation towards the sound of her voice. "Yeah, well…" He looks up and sees her, standing close beside him.

His eyes go wide.

-----

"Brat." Sanzo growls beneath his breath. "Ungrateful little shit." He has been doing this for sometime. Allowing so much personal time with Goku has made it more difficult for him to enjoy his brooding in complete silence. "Fuck." He finds other things can be just as therapeutic.

His robes are down around his waste, a cigarette—unlit—hangs from his mouth, taunting him, and as remains customary he is sitting in the window seat, staring at the clear night sky.

At least the damn sky is clear.

"I'll kill him. I'll ring his neck." Sanzo grumbles. "He lies. He keeps secrets. And now this running off shit. Fuck." His will-power is shot; he wants his lighter.

While fishing for it in his robes, Sanzo's eyes glance back into the room and catch sight of his lighter on the nightstand, on the other side of the bed, on the other side of the room. Angrily, Sanzo spits his cigarette out onto the ground. It isn't worth it.

If the situation was different maybe he could have waited longer for Goku to finally come clean about these memories. But now that the chimp has made it clear he has no intention of ever telling Sanzo, the monk has lost all patience entirely. It is risky enough to allow a relationship, to allow for something like love in his life, but if the lover he has chosen won't be honest with him then what choice does Sanzo have but to walk away first? He is risking more than enough, had been before Goku started acting this way. He can only be expected to offer so much.

"Brat knows that. Knows me. What the hell is he thinking?" Sanzo's words are muffled from the second cigarette he has placed between his lips. He doesn't plan to light this one either, but the presence of it in his mouth is soothing. "I swear I'll fucking kill him if he thinks—"

The door slams open.

Sanzo turns. He immediately turns back to the window.

"Sanzo!"

Sanzo ignores the voice he knows so well, wishing his cigarette was lit.

"Sanzo! Sanzo, look at me!"

If you've come to grovel then get to it, Sanzo thinks, but he will not give Goku the satisfaction of acknowledgement.

"Come on, Sanzo, don't be a dick! This is important!"

Firm hands grip Sanzo's shoulders. Sanzo shrugs them off.

"Sanzo, listen to me!"

No.

"It really is important!"

Who cares?

"Can't you forget our fight for one second!?"

Could you?

"Sanzo!"

Shut up, monkey. I'm not listening.

"Sanzo, damnit! I came here to tell you—"

I don't care.

"—that I saw—"

I don't care.

"—your mother!"

"…what?"

tbc...

A/N: Sorry for the shortness. I thought it was longer. I had another scene planned, but it doesn't work with the time frame to have it before the next chapter. Anyway, the lateness could not be helped. Besides the usual, I am now in the clutches of Death Note and have a new love. Saiyuki wins above all, always, but "L" is just so nummy. That isn't the ONLY reason I love it, of course. ;-) Hope this was enjoyable. Let me know if anyone expected Sanzo's mother or not. I'm curious. And yes it is her, not just Goku thinking someone looks like her. I have so much planned, and most of the entire fic is worked out, so don't worry. This is going to be so much fun. Thanks for sticking by me and don't forget to let me know who's out there.

Crim