"Hurry up and go already!"

Alice's voice rang around my mind.

I crept into Forks hospital from the window in the visitor's waiting room and swallowed hard. If Alice was right Bella would be only a few doors away from me.

Oh, how I had missed her beautiful smile. Her wonderful laugh. Her intoxicating scent. I closed my eyes. I kicked myself every minute of everyday I was away. Why had I left her? It made me so unhappy and I had the image of her tears streaming down her face as I ran from her, burned into my mind. I vowed that I wouldn't let anything hurt her and I hurt her myself. I was a worse monster than I was when I met her, but all the same, I couldn't wait to hold her once more.

Two miles after I left her I collapsed on the floor, curled up into a ball and let the pain engulf me. I had purposely taken her out of my life so she could be safe. I had taken the only thing that had ever made me happy and pushed it away. I had pushed her away and she didn't want to be pushed. I longed to hold her and drink in the scent in her hair, around her neck, behind her ear and by her wrists. I couldn't have ever imagined this happening to me, ever. It was all too perfect. She was perfect.

She was, in short, my angel.

I made my way around the first ward. There were sleeping patients and not even the night-nurses were awake. Luck? I hope so…I thought to myself. I sniffed the air in the corridor. There was a slight tint of lavender on the air by the x-ray route.

I didn't dare think about what had made her jump, though I knew it was me. Now, however, I was here to make that all right and if everything went to plan I would feel whole again. I would have got my heart back and get to keep the love of my life close to me at all times. She would never leave my sight.

I came to a room and the inviting aroma of Bella slid under the gap in the door. I quietly opened the door and shut it behind me, all the while inhaling deeply. How I lived without her all this time?

Bella lay in front of me, connected up to machinery that could check her heart and pulse. I yearned to do that myself. It had been too long since I had last felt her heart pound in my ear.

Guilt over came me. It was my fault she was here. My angel had fallen and I wasn't there to catch her. I was fleeing, thinking that I was protecting her but all this time she had been falling, and now she had hit the ground. I wasn't quick enough to catch her.

I took another deep breath in. Her scent flew around my head, enveloping me in calm. I moved around to the side of her bed.

Her long, brown hair trailed easily over her shoulders and she looked a lot thinner than in my memories. Her eyebrows were pulled together in confusion. I knelt by her face. The desire to take that confusion away was overpowering.

I leaned in, touching her the bottom of her chin with my finger, and pressed my lips to hers. How did I forget the heat that came with the kiss? The kiss I had longed for, for so long. I was about to lean in and smell her hair when her eyes hurled themselves open.

"Bella," I whispered. I forgot how my heart soared when I said her name. I cupped her hands in mine and I knew I was going to blurt out the words I was going to save. "I'm so sorry. I should never have left you. You have no idea how bad I feel and now you're in hospital and it's my entire fault. I'm so sorry; I never meant a word I said that night. I'm so sorry. I'll never leave you again." I lifted her hand to my face, closed my eyes and inhaled the scent by her wrist.

"Excuse me?" Shock jolted through her voice.

My jaw clenched, eyes wide in the gloomy room, studying her face. "Bella?"

"Do you mind telling me who you are?"

"Don't you…know who I am?"

I waited in the darkness as she studied my face. My eyes were tense with fear. The next thing she would say would be crucial to my happiness and my heart. I prayed to who ever had given her to me, to be kind and forgiving enough to let me have my angel back in my arms. I couldn't live without her…

"No…I…I don't…" I stopped breathing.

"Oh."

She honestly couldn't remember me. She couldn't remember who I was or how many times I told her I loved her. She didn't remember the first day I saw her over the lunch hall. The first time I glared down at her. The first day I actually started speaking to her. The day when I stopped speaking to her for her own safety. The day I got filled with jealousy over Mike asking if she would take him to the dance. The day I started speaking to her again. The night I visited her and heard her whisper my name. The night I fell in love with her. That one time in the meadow when she didn't run from me when I was in the sun. The time when I almost ripped her apart when she leaned in. The time when she rode on my back when I ran. The first time I kissed her. The night I was really allowed to be with her at night, hold her close, and never let her go. The night I heard her whisper I love you in her sleep. The morning she said it in my arms. The morning when she fainted in my arms. The day she met my family and didn't run. The day I played her lullaby to her. The day I tasted one of her tears. The day she learned about us completely. The day I she sat in my room and lit it up with bliss. The day I pounced on her, taking her for myself, sitting her on my lap, holding her close. The day of the baseball game. The day I had to tamper with her mind. The day I said I loved her. The day they came. The day I had to protect her from everything. The day I saw the want in James's eye. The night she had to flee to Phoenix. The night I kissed her the hardest I ever had. The night I thought I would never see her again. The day I saw her lying on the floor, unconscious. The day I thought I killed her. The day I had to suck out the poison. The first taste I got of her blood and how it filled me with such warmth. The day I didn't kill her. The empty days of bliss with her. The day of her birthday when she was almost killed by Jasper. The day I knocked her out of the way, fearing for her soul and for breaking her. The day I realized I had to let her go. The night I kissed her for the last time. The three days when I had been so distant. The night that I had told the worst lie of my life, human or vampire. The night I said I didn't want her…

I was back now. My mind was set on never letting her go if she forgave me. Nothing was more important to me than her. But how could she forgive me now, if she couldn't even remember who I was?

"I suppose its better that way…" My dead heart was screaming at me in my chest. This was what I wanted for her when I left. Now she could get on with her life and forget about me completely. However, I'd never forget her…

I turned to walk out of the door, savouring the last of her scent. "What d'you mean?" Her voice was confused now.

I turned my head slightly. "It doesn't matter…" I whispered it, barely loud enough for her to hear. My heart was shattering inside. I pulled the door open, afraid I would break down before I got out.

"Wait." Bella's voice rang around my head, I committed it to memory as I stopped. I would do anything for her if she asked. "What's your name?"

I swallowed hard, not knowing whether I should answer. I turned around completely facing her, my eyes burned with a passion I never even knew I had.

"My name is Edward Cullen. I'll never forget you, Bella. Please, do all you can to forget I ever came here. If I knew, I never would have come. I've hurt you in so many ways already, I don't need to do it again."

I walked out the door and shut it just as quietly as I opened it when she was asleep.

A sob escaped my lips as I ran from the hospital.


A/N: In case you haven't noticed this is in Edward's POV...
However, I refuse to write POV at the very top of my stories,
I'm not sure why...

Emma