As Gail woke up she felt warm and safe. It was new to her and it scared her. She noticed Holly as she said "Good morning beautiful"

Holly's arms were wrapped around her side and her head leaned against her shoulder. Gail abruptly sat up, pushing Holly away from her.

"What's wrong?" Holly asked confused

"You need to go"

Holly looked at her as if Gail just told her, her mother had died.

"But-"

"NO, just go!" Gail shouted , stand up and grabbed Holly's clothes that were lying on a chair.

Gail panicked, why were she letting her so close last night? Why did she allowed herself to get so lost in those dark eyes? Why were she thinking anyone could really love her? Questions Gail had no answer to. She saw Holly's upsetting face and something in her broke.

She threw the clothes at Holly. "Pack your things and get out of here!"

Holly grabbed her jeans and shirt and asked "What did I wrong? Talk to me"

"I don't want to talk to you, I want you to leave NOW!" Gail screamed

She pushed her outside the room, towards the front door

"Gail, stop! Explain me why you are doing this!" Holly said

"I don't have to explain anything and I don't want to see you again" lied Gail

"And last night didn't mean anything?" Holly's eyes filled with tears.

"No, I just needed someone to get over Chris" Gail didn't think that she could ever believe the lie she just told, even if she tried.

"Okay then" Holly turned around wanting to get outside the apartment, but Gail could see how she held back hear tears. Gail could feel Holly's heart-break and she wondered if Holly felt that hers broke too.

"Tell me you're lying" Holly said crying.

"No" Gail slammed the door in Holly's face


After that Gail could no longer hold back her tears. She broke down crying and leaned against the front door. She buried her face in her palms and thought

This was the biggest mistake I've ever made.


Holly went straight to her car, still in Gail's clothes. She didn't understand that at all. Last night she said that she fell for her and now Gail said it didn't mean anything. The pathologist has never felt sadder than in this very moment. She didn't know what she did wrong. As she sat in her car it started raining and nothing could fit more in this moment. The rain fell hard on the ground and so did her tears. But she wiped away her tears and said to herself

I won't let her go


Gail hadn't any motivation to go to work. She was afraid of seeing Holly, but at the same time she wanted to go to her and apologize. She wanted to say that she made her feel so many things. She wanted to say that she made her feel special. That she can be the person she is when they're together. But Gail didn't want to sound weak. She didn't want to admit that she needed her.

I need nobody.

I am better off of my own.

Holly wasn't even a good kisser.

Oh she was. Holly was a good kisser. When Gail thought about their shared kisses she got goosebumps. But Gail lied to herself, she didn't want to get hurt again. She was so afraid, she pushed the woman she loved away.


At the station Gail had much paperwork to do. But she couldn't concentrate. Holly was the only thought she had and it made her mad. She didn't want this.

After a long time of struggling she decided to go to the morgue.

There, she saw through the window Holly working on a corpse, her dark hair was up in a ponytail and she wore her black skinny jeans and her legs looked incredible good in it.


Holly dropped her scalpel, it was not the first time today, she just couldn't concentrate on her work. She had always a clear head, she normally could separate work and private life. But today her mind was just by Gail. She just didn't understand. This woman made her unsure of herself.


Gail saw Holly pick up the scalpel and in that moment their eyes met. Gail wanted to say something but she just turned around and left.

Holly ran after her.

"Gail wait"

She grabbed her arm and turned her around.

"What was that this morning?"

Gail didn't know what to say. She didn't understand it herself.

"Look at me"

And as she did, she saw much more than just a pair of dark eyes. She saw desire, despair and mercy. The look Holly gave her begged her to say something. To say that she loved her, to say that she didn't mean what she said this morning.

"Let me go" said Gail and ran away.

"You know I can't!" shouted Holly after her.


It was 8pm as the doorbell on Gail's apartment rang. It was Holly.

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to bring your clothes back, I washed them" she handed her the bag she had put the clothes in.

"Ahh thanks" she looked down, she knew she couldn't look her in the eyes, she would get lost again

"Say you were just afraid of getting hurt, say you didn't mean what you said"

Gail risked a look at Holly's face and saw her tears.

"Please" she buried her face in her hands.

Gail just looked at her, no words passed her lips

"I-I can't stop thinking about you, I want to be with you. I don't want you to change. I don't want anything from you. I wouldn't hurt you, please give me a chance and shut down your walls, I'm begging you"

Holly looked at Gail and she knew she could spend her whole life just looking in those ocean-blue eyes.

Gail pulled Holly towards her and kicking the door closed behind them. She pushed Holly against the door, leaned her forehead against hers, closed her eyes and whispered

"I am just so goddamn afraid"