Beginnings of Truth
Kougaiji is not the only person who has noticed Yaone has been wearing a lot more dresses lately. He would notice in the past when she occasioned to wear one, usually when she knew she would be in the castle for an extended period of time and wanted to feel at home, but over the past year or so they have been so involved with all the fighting and insanity that she rarely wore anything other than her combat gear.
That has now changed.
When Kougaiji catches others besides him who are not of the fairer sex noticing Yaone's change in apparel, he puts back on his mantle of protective malice and usually scares the unsuspecting male away. When only Yaone is around, he wears his own natural smile with the knowledge that the hardest of times is far behind him and he is living happily with his mother, his sister, and the beautiful woman he plans to spend the rest of his life adoring.
Dresses. Hadn't he been thinking about dresses? Getting caught up in Yaone is such an easy thing for Kougaiji these days, that when he does focus on a single aspect of her he usually falls into a trance that only her gentle voice can break him from.
"Kougaiji-sama? Are you okay?"
Huh? Is the angelic being before him speaking?
Yaone giggles. "Lord Kougaiji, are you with me or somewhere far away, because the look on your face says you are not in this hallway right now."
The rest of the world refocuses and Kougaiji is no longer staring at a gorgeous apparition but at the very real, dress-clad figure of his apothecary. "Sorry. But I wasn't somewhere else," he says, "Just so focused on you I forget here wasn't a daydream. I guess you're too good to be true to me sometimes." And he smiles, and because he didn't smile nearly enough over this past year, the simple act is enough to make Yaone blush.
"You are very sweet, My Lord," she replies.
Kougaiji reaches for Yaone's hand and takes it. They are alone in the corridor and something has been brought to Kougaiji's attention that he can no longer tolerate. "Yaone, haven't I told you several times now…you don't have to call me that anymore." He tugs on her hand and pulls her close enough to breathe in. The dress she is wearing today is deep purple, traditional but not as long as she usually wears. It hugs every part of her he loves, which is every inch possible, and with her long hair down and freed, she looks like the princess he already considers her. "When we are sharing the same bed, there is no room for titles," he says.
Yaone blushes again.
"You can call me anything, but don't call me Lord. I'd rather be your partner than your master."
"Oh," Yaone struggles to find words that express the flutter in her chest, "I…I am so sorry, My Lord," she says, and catching her slip she stomps her delicate foot, "Damn it."
Small hands, including the one captured by Kougaiji, fly up to Yaone's mouth after that utterance and her blush overtakes her face in embarrassment.
But Kougaiji isn't offended.
He reclaims the hand she pulled back, takes both of them to remove them from her face, and says, "Actually…from you it's kind of sexy."
Before Yaone can redden any further, Kougaiji tugs on her hands and kisses her swift. He wants to remind her everyday, every moment, that anything she could ever do he will only find wonderful. And she believes him without having to hear a word.
Giggles that are not Yaone's interrupt the intimate moment, and Kougaiji pulls away first, knowing that giggle and its particular tone better than anyone. He and Yaone turn simultaneously towards the sound and see that they are no longer alone in the hallway.
Lirin is stifling her giggling behind her hand, the other gripped tight by Rasetsunyo. "Just passing through, dear," the elder youkai woman says, smiling all-knowingly at Kougaiji and Yaone both. While they continue on past the pair to head down the hall, Kougaiji and Yaone say nothing, frozen and feeling a little caught.
Kougaiji's mother has not been back in his life for very long and already she has picked up again her habit for perfect timing.
Lirin does not cease her giggling till they are several yards away. Rasetsunyo, still wearing her same smile, shakes her head and says to the girl beside her, "You know dear, with all the help Yaone has been around here, I really do worry about those boys traveling east. I don't know how they manage without a woman."
-----
Waiting for Gojyo and Hakkai to finish their frisky business could take much longer than Jien's patience will allow, but without much else to do at the moment, Jien finds his feet heading back towards their room anyway. He came to this town to spend time with Gojyo, after all. He can always head back to Houtou Castle, but he would like at least one last night for sibling fun. If all goes well, the little monkey will convince Sanzo to talk with his mother, leaving the rest of them free for fun.
Jien almost feels selfish for that line of thought, but he did travel a long way. The least the monk can do is be a good son so Jien can have the opportunity to be a good brother. It's a fair trade if one thinks about it.
"Yo! You two finished in there or what!?" Jien calls, pounding on the door with a sideways grin. If he interrupts, oh well. "Hey! There are other people in your lives, ya know, you crazy lovebirds!" A few more knocks and suddenly, in mid-pound, the door opens, nearly sending Jien, full of momentum, into the figure of his brother.
"Do you have any respect for privacy, bro?" Gojyo says with a tired smile, shirtless and out of breath. "We could have been in the thralls of passion, if you don't mind."
The humor of the situation is not lost on Jien. He folds his arms and raises an eyebrow. "Thralls of passion? You'd take a romp with your man, who you've been on the road with everyday for almost two years, not to mention the three years living together before that, over spending time with the brother you haven't spent more than a few hours with in over a decade."
Gojyo graciously takes the five seconds he needs to think of a response. "Yeah. Pretty much."
"You're despicable," Jien laughs, "And if I wasn't sure I'd do the same thing myself, I'd be offended."
Joining together in laughter comes easily, but Gojyo's fatigue makes his chuckles fade out sooner than usual. He rubs his eyes, feeling like he must have zonked out for a couple hours after his time with Hakkai, though he knows it hasn't been all that long.
Jien is about to ask if Gojyo is alright when a frazzled Hakkai opens the door wider and steps up next to the redhead. He also appears fatigued, dressed in his nightshirt though it is only afternoon.
It would never change his orientation, but Jien has to wonder what exactly the pair did in that room to wear themselves out so thoroughly. He wouldn't mind that kind of exhaustion one bit if there was a worthy partner to share the experience with.
"Alright, spill. I can't bear the suspense," Jien grins.
As if startled, Hakkai clutches the door frame to steady himself. "Excuse me?" he says.
"Your secret. Don't think I don't know you have one."
Fatigued as he may be, Hakkai looks much more awake now. He almost looks a little spooked.
Jien can't imagine why. "Sheesh, man, I was just joking around. If you don't want to share your sex secrets I'll just have to lie in wonder. The way you two can go at it, you must have an extra store of stamina stashed away somewhere."
A relieved laugh escapes Hakkai and his grip on the doorframe lessens. Gojyo and Jien fail to notice the marks left in the wood.
Gojyo laughs more heartily and pats Hakkai on the back hard enough that if the hanyou wasn't so tired could have sent Hakkai flying into the hallway. "Well it's not like either of us are completely human, ya know. Extra stamina's exactly what we got. Though I'll be the first to admit, bro, I could use a nap after that romp. You look like that might be true for you too, baby," Gojyo touches Hakkai's shoulder and although it is not noticeable to Jien, Gojyo feels his lover jump. "Hey…you okay?" he asks.
In a heartbeat Hakkai's famous 'everything's peaches and cherry blossoms' smile shines up in reply. "Of course," he says, "What would be wrong?"
A lie. Gojyo can see it as if the word were written in the green of Hakkai's good eye. Hakkai knows he can't swindle Gojyo, and yet here he is, like so many times before, attempting just that. Though about what, Gojyo has no idea.
"Hakkai…"
"Hey, guys!"
Interrupted, Gojyo and the others turn to see that a very hearty and appeased Sanzo and Goku are approaching from down the hall. Goku bounds ahead of the monk, looking triumphant, which the others understand completely because, after all, Sanzo is actually out of his room and not trying to kill any of them.
Jumping up and down on the balls of his feet, Goku reaches his three other companions long before Sanzo and grabs onto Gojyo's wrist. "We're gonna go see Meiyuu!" he says, and the grin on his face stretches wide between each monkey ear. "Ain't it great! Sanzo says we can!"
"That's wonderful, kiddo. Now ya mind not dislocating my elbow." With a good yank, Gojyo gets his arm back into his own possession and using his now freed hand ruffles Goku's hair. The monkey needs to learn to calm down once in a while.
Sauntering up slowly to join the others, Sanzo comes to a stop, not projecting any particular mindset or emotional state, which is his favorite expression after all, and crosses his arms tightly in front of his chest.
He says nothing.
The others know not to press the issue, much as a few rounds of 'I told you so' would feel so remarkably justified. Goku really can work miracles, and when it comes to Sanzo, that is often what it takes to get anything to happen besides a gunshot at one's head.
"Ya guys ready, huh? Can we go? Get your clothes on, Gojyo!" Goku cries, ducking out of the way of another attempt of Gojyo's to ruffle his hair. "We gotta go now!" Taking a moment to catch his breath finally, Goku takes note of the amused looks being given him and tries to at least somewhat still his bouncing. He so rarely gets the better of Sanzo that when it happens he can't help but float for the next hour. Still, he hates it when he makes himself seem like the kid they all think he is.
Except for maybe Sanzo. Though Goku's pretty sure the only reason Sanzo doesn't call him a kid anymore is because they're sleeping together.
As if having read Goku's thoughts and finding himself far too cornered by the situation anyway, Sanzo excuses himself to wait for the others in the lobby.
Jien and Gojyo share a few chuckles before Gojyo goes to find a shirt and Jien heads to the lobby as well. Goku is still trying to calm himself down and so doesn't yet move, though he finds it odd that Hakkai, looking a little displaced, does not move back into the room to join Gojyo. The brunette is wearing his nightshirt, Goku has noticed, which is not 'suitable attire for going out'. It doesn't make sense that Hakkai would go against his own words.
Goku steps closer to his friend, about to comment, and now that his adrenaline has subdued, he is more aware of his surroundings and the subtle changes in the air. Even without the extra strength he feels from being more connected with Seiten Taisei, Goku would easily be able to pick up on the difference in his friend.
"Hakkai…" he says, and leaning into the turned-youkai he takes two strong sniffs before crinkling his nose in confusion, "You smell funny."
For the briefest moment Hakkai appears startled, though he dismisses the comment quickly and feigns his usual smile. "That isn't very nice, Goku. Gojyo and I were…previously engaged and therefore had to discard our other clothing. I'm sure that's all it is."
Hakkai's fancy words are tempting to listen to, but if what the healer is trying to say is that Goku is smelling…that, well, then Goku knows Hakkai isn't being honest because he definitely knows that smell. "Nah, Hakkai, I don't think so. I smell some a that too but this is different. Kinda like what I've been noticing before, but…like it's stronger now."
"Like…you've been noticing before?" Hakkai questions, carefully stating the words as if to test Goku's allegiance to them.
"Yeah," Goku says, a little caught but not about to try and lie about things now, "I've been noticing lately that you don't smell the same. I mean, you smell like you and all just…a bit more like when you don't wear your limiters, ya know?" Goku doesn't hesitate to tell Hakkai the truth, but his words do drag since he is pretty sure Hakkai won't like to hear this. "Hakuryuu's been noticing too. That's why he's been weird. Is everything okay, Hakkai? You can't be smelling different for nothing, right?"
For one moment Hakkai looks panicked but by the next his posture is steady and his eyes burn with a challenge that warns Goku to listen closely. "Now, Goku, I don't know what you think is different about me, but I assure you, whatever your nose is picking up, it must be mistaken."
"I don't think so." Goku says, and just to be sure he takes another few whiffs of his friend. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure, Hakkai. You just don't smell right."
A sudden pound of Hakkai's foot into the floor alerts Goku to the healer's current state of mind. Though it is his tone that makes Goku jump. "Goku," he says, and Goku nearly back peddles.
Hakkai's voice is growing louder and there is venom in it Goku has never heard directed at him before. The healer's frightening expression brings with it a surge of the smell that reminds Goku again of Hakkai without his limiters. The strangeness in Hakkai's eyes, the longer length to his hair, it all makes Goku feel suddenly very nervous.
"You are mistaken," Hakkai says more severely, filling up the doorway as if suddenly taller, "Do not mention it again."
"But…but it's true," Goku stresses, though as soon as he speaks he regrets countering Hakkai yet again.
Struggling to keep his voice from alerting Gojyo, Hakkai maintains a certain amount of control, but it is a definite yell that escapes him because Goku feels it down to his toes when the healer says again, "Goku," loud and timorous, "You are mistaken. Do not speak of it again. Do you understand me?"
"Hey, Hakkai, where the hell'd my shirt go!?"
Goku's head twitches at the sound of Gojyo calling from inside the room. He feels the helpless need to call out for his friend, but then feels so foolish for that too. For what purpose would he call? To ask for help? Against Hakkai?
"Y-yeah…I got it, Hakkai," Goku gives in, "I'm…gonna go wait with Sanzo, okay?" And because he is almost ready to break into tears and cannot bear another moment under that look, that look directed at him, Goku immediately bolts for the entryway.
Brushing the walls several times, he stumbles finally into the lobby where Sanzo and Jien are waiting. He doesn't stop running until he feels Sanzo's robes in his hands as he clutches the monk's sleeve. "Sanzo…can I talk to you?" he says, knowing how out of breath and panicked he must sound and not meaning to exclude Jien but having a very dire need for Sanzo all to himself on this matter.
Jien gets the picture and excuses himself to wait outside.
Goku, still tightly clutching Sanzo's sleeve, takes a few breaths but doesn't know where to begin. He suddenly wishes he could curl up in the skirt of the robe like he did when he was younger, but he doubts Sanzo would enjoy that right now.
"What's going on?" the monk presses, vying for the boy's attention around Goku's wild looks and moving but silent mouth. "Get a grip, monkey, what the hell is it? And when I say grip, that is not an invitation for you to curl my sleeve up into your fists. You're wrinkling it." Though Sanzo says this, he does not attempt to pry his robe free.
Still fidgeting and clearly worried, Goku looks up at Sanzo with wide eyes and says, "Hakkai's never yelled at me before."
Sanzo blinks. That's it. That's all the monkey has to say. "So?" he replies.
"So? So he just did. Yelled at me. For the first time ever!" Goku thinks on that and tilts his head to one side. "Okay, maybe he yelled at me once before, but that was in the gourd thing and he was yelling to get me to calm down, not to be mean. Right now he just yelled in a…in a…you kind of way."
Sanzo doesn't particularly like the reference, but he does understand Goku's meaning rather quickly because of the example. "Unlike you, I have had Hakkai yell at me quite a few times," he says, "But he snapped at me today too. I thought it was strange but…I was a little preoccupied."
It isn't often that Sanzo sounds remorseful about being ignorant to a friends needs, and if there wasn't a small crisis on their hands right now Goku would find Sanzo's words comforting.
Unfortunately, having been yelled at and knowing that whatever it is he smells different in Hakkai is there and could very well be a problem, has Goku fairly certain this is indeed a crisis.
"You want me to be honest, right? Always?"
Sanzo looks at Goku, hearing the somber tone of the boy's voice, and how when he speaks in earnest he doesn't really sound like a boy anymore. Nodding in reply to Goku's question, Sanzo waits for an answer and knows it will be the truth. All he has ever asked of the boy is honesty.
"Sanzo," Goku says, "I don't know what it is or what we have to do about it, but…something's wrong with Hakkai and I don't think it's gonna go away on its own. He wouldn't…look at me like that. He wouldn't yell. And I haven't seen Hakuryuu all day and I think…I think maybe even he doesn't wanna be around Hakkai right now. That can't be good, right?"
Sanzo does not have to state his agreement. That part is obvious. He has been noticing changes in the healer too, but he assumed, foolishly perhaps, that any danger of having to kill one of his companions because they lose control is over now. Maybe that isn't as true as he had hoped.
"We can't deal with this now. I have enough on my mind, damn it, just to add one more thing…" Sanzo rakes his fingers through his hair and grits his teeth. Even on their way east it seems fate is toying with them, and never with only one thing at a time. Of course not. That would make things far too easy. "Look," Sanzo says, "The most we can do is watch him. Try to talk with him, fine, but this could be nothing."
The lines of Goku's brow grow cutely prominent. "My nose doesn't get things wrong, Sanzo. You know that. Hakkai smells different. And I smelled something else too. It wasn't all that strong but…in Hakkai and Gojyo's room…" Goku's eyes swell and Sanzo sees tears coming only Goku's stubbornness is keeping at bay. "Sanzo," he says, "I smelled blood."
-----
When Gojyo and Hakkai finally join them, everything appears unnaturally normal, save that Hakkai is still in his night shirt and Gojyo is wearing a blue button down shirt they didn't even know he had packed. Hakkai doesn't once snap, doesn't look at anyone strangely or seem out of character. Much as Goku twitches as the group walks back through town to Meiyuu's restaurant, Sanzo just shakes his head. It isn't the right time, he seems to say. And though Goku listens he feels the need in him to confront Hakkai grow.
Reaching Meiyuu's restaurant, the others take a table, since they didn't quite get to food before and understand that Sanzo needs to do this alone. This leaves the monk to walk upstairs to Meiyuu's apartment by himself. The young hostess that met them at the front had said Meiyuu had not yet come down from being up there before.
That certainly doesn't make Sanzo's tread up the stairs any easier.
Coming to the top now, Sanzo is understandably hesitant. He had agreed to come here earlier, had hurriedly dismissed the woman, and felt justified in that decision. But after speaking with Goku he feels some of the sympathy that was already in him. She has an explanation. There had to have been a reason for it all. And tense as he is to do this, Sanzo wants those answers.
It takes a few moments for Meiyuu's soft footsteps to be heard after he knocks, and when she answers the door, she is startled to find him standing there.
"Hikaru…" she says, her face red and eyes damp with tears she might have only moments ago wiped away. She bows her head. "Excuse me. Lord Sanzo," she corrects.
Sanzo always hates being dealt with formally, but coming from his mother makes it all the worse. "Don't…bother with all that. Sanzo is fine." He isn't quite big enough to tell her she is welcome to continue calling him 'Hikaru'.
A small smile interrupts the sorrow on Meiyuu's face. She steps aside, opening the door wide to invite Sanzo in.
A few moments later they are seated at Meiyuu's kitchen table having tea, though neither is really drinking and they haven't yet said another word. It is Meiyuu who speaks again first.
"You…have grown up so handsome," she says, looking at Sanzo as if he might evaporate if she blinks for too long, "And to think you are one of the five Sanzo priests."
Sanzo shifts uncomfortably. As far as he knows, he is the only Sanzo left, if any survived having their scriptures taken.
"I'm sorry," Meiyuu says suddenly, shaking her head, "There aren't five anymore, are there? I heard of Koumyou's death, but it was years after you had left the temple. And I never could have been sure you were actually Genjou Sanzo until I saw you myself. If I had known sooner…" Meiyuu shakes her head again, "You must hate me. And you have every right. What mother leaves her child behind?"
Sanzo says nothing. To counter her would be a lie; those very thoughts are in him. But her sincerity is enough to keep his ears open when she begins the tale she told his companions. He assumed most of it, that she must have seen him with Koumyou, and though a part of him understands, he still feels the resentment he first felt when he saw her face.
"I know things can never be what they might have been between us. Your father was Koumyou Sanzo as far as you knew, and you never had a mother. I did not ask to see you to make you forget all that. I only wish for you to understand the truth."
Difficult as this is, Sanzo offers his mother a nod at that. She was so young when the youkai attacked her village and killed her husband. She thought she was saving her son, and when she survived and managed to track him down so long after the fact, she couldn't bring herself to take him from the family he knew as his own.
If she had claimed him from the temple, how different would the world be today? Would he have still heard Goku's voice? Would Nii have gotten the sutras sooner, or never at all? There is no way to know. He can only accept that he has a mother, and that all resentment aside, his life is where it was meant to be, with or without her.
"My name…" Sanzo prompts, his fingers fiddling with the handle of the teacup in front of him, "You call me Hikaru. That's what you named me?"
"Yes," Meiyuu smiles, dimly but with deep fondness, "It was my idea. Because of your hair. So much like light. Like—"
"The sun," Sanzo finishes. He didn't mean to say it, but the convention slipped out of him anyway. He feels a little self-indulgent afterwards and stares down at the remains of his tea.
Meiyuu is still smiling. "Yes. Like the sun," she says.
"And…what about my father? Before the attack. What was he…like?" The words push out of Sanzo as if forced. He has never liked sounding in need, even if all he is in need of is a few simple, honest words.
A haze covers Meiyuu's expression, clouding her eyes and slipping the smile from her face. Her chin lowers and Sanzo imagines there is either something very interesting at the bottom of Meiyuu's teacup or she has something in her eye. "He…was a good man. Nothing extraordinary to most people, but to me he was…everything." She sighs. "He was a tailor. I worked in the shop as well. We didn't have much but we were still young. He was so…happy when you were born. His son. You have his coloring. Oh, except for the eyes. We never could explain where those eyes came from. We always said it must be a gift from the gods that you were so beautiful." A smile forms subtly on her face, but quickly fades again, still staring down into her teacup. "You were barely a year old when the youkai attacked. Your father would have done anything to protect us. He went out to help in the fight. But they broke through the lines so easily. I saw it happen. I had you in my arms, and though I was hiding I could see through the window what they…did to him. It could have been so easy for me to hate youkai after what happened, but your father wouldn't have wanted that. Some of our neighbors were youkai, and good friends. They fought and lost their lives alongside the humans of the town. It was only the youkai that attacked us that I hated, and it angers me to this day that people can be ignorant enough to hate an entire people for a few individuals' actions. In the recent calamity the actions of the youkai were not even their fault, and yet so many people looked down on them like they were monsters."
Meiyuu's hands clench around her teacup, making it clatter on the tabletop with her trembling. Her eyes dart up, and once more she looks at Sanzo, really looks, and though he can remember so little of her, he knows she is seeing him as her child, only a small child, wrapped up in her arms all over again.
"Knowing who you are, that your friends themselves are youkai despite what has happened to you, knowing that you championed to stop the threat that made the youkai stray, I…could not be more proud of you. If that means little, I understand, but your father would be proud too. Eruhi..." Meiyuu breathes the name as her eyes look to the right where a few old pictures rest on a shelf.
Sanzo noticed these pictures when they sat at the table, but feared looking too closely at them. His eyes fall there now and perhaps without complete control of his limbs he rises from the table to stand before the pictures and see them better.
In the dreamworld, the pictures he imagined on the walls of his and Goku's home were just vague possibilities. Sanzo sees no version of those pictures now. Instead, he sees his mother, young and beautiful, standing beside a strong, tall figure with shaggy blonde hair much like Sanzo's own though the man wears a large smile. Meiyuu's lips are thinner, her smile more subtle though still lovely. Though Sanzo noticed when he first saw Meiyuu in the dreamworld, he sees now how much he really does resemble her. What he sees of himself in his father, however, is more than just the color of his hair. The protective arm around Meiyuu's waist, the countenance of utter loyalty and yet self-sufficiency as well, is very much how Sanzo hopes he is.
There is another photograph of his parents with his own child self held in Meiyuu's arms. Another with just his father holding him, and finally, a simple shot of just him, a month old bundle of chubby cheeks, golden hair, and large violet-blue eyes, not quite changed from birth. If there had been any doubt…
"I remember…your face. At least I think I do." Sanzo speaks still staring at the pictures, with Meiyuu behind him at the table watching. "You were so…sad…looking down at me. And your voice. I remember it singing. Often…singing…"
Emotions like these Sanzo has seldom allowed himself to feel. They are the closest to what he felt for Koumyou that he has ever known. The danger of it jolts him. But he has already opened his heart. And the memories, the real memories of his mother are with him, pulling at him to turn around and see the woman she is now.
He knew listening to Goku was a mistake.
"Hikaru…"
"I won't tell you…that I wish you had taken me from the temple. I won't say that."
Meiyuu remains silent.
"Everything that has happened to me…is what needed to happen. This is who I am."
"Genjou Sanzo?" Meiyuu asks quietly.
Sanzo is shaking his head before she even finishes the title. "My name…is Koryuu. That is who I am. But…" Sanzo turns and finds that Meiyuu is standing at the table, looking at him with complete understanding, acceptance, and, though it almost pains him, love as well. "But," he says, "Your son did not die in the river. Not all of him."
Sanzo had to have received his reflexes from somewhere, he realizes, because Meiyuu has surprisingly strong arms wrapped around his waist before his words have barely finished. The side of her face presses into his chest and shoulder, and the slight shaking of her body tells him her face cannot possibly be dry.
Sanzo stands there a good minute or more with his own arms unable to do anything. The warmth of her, the honest affection from her is more soothing than he feels he deserves. He craved it so desperately those years without Koumyou when he was still a child. Grown now he has found his mother and can have again some of what Koumyou gave him. To accept it, however, is where he is not quite ready.
And gaining the strength to move his arms to wrap around her in return is one of the most difficult things he has ever done.
"Koryuu," Meiyuu says, and Sanzo is pleased that she speaks it with the same fondness she said Hikaru, "I waited so long, but never think there was ever a time I didn't love you."
Before any signs can be seen, Sanzo can feel his body's need to release. He can allow his eyes to swell, but to cry, to allow tears to really fall, has grown beyond him. He gave the last of his tears to his master, and with him they will remain.
Meiyuu holds onto him a little longer before pulling back enough to look up at him and ask, "You won't be staying long, will you?"
"No," Sanzo admits, "We aren't in as much of a rush as before, but there is still dissent. Not all towns are going to be as accepting of the youkai after what happened. We have to travel back east. There are…a lot of things left for us to do."
"I understand. But…at least another night. You and your friends are welcome for dinner. Not in the restaurant, but here, in my home. I…don't want to lose you so soon after finding you. I would like it, even after you have gone, if we could…remain in contact. A letter now and then to know you're alright. Anything."
Sanzo has never experienced this. He doesn't know how to respond. The only people he would care to write to are constantly with him. And really, the thought of ever writing to any of those idiots churns Sanzo's stomach.
Looking down into Meiyuu's eyes, soft brown but his shape, his expression, he is surprised to find that all he wants is to keep the softness there. She did what she thought best and mourned him for years. She should not have to mourn him again.
"I think I can manage that," he says, "As long as I tell the monkey it's what you want, he won't let me forget it."
Meiyuu's brow furrows. "Monkey?"
Her story was one thing, but their reunion isn't over with just that. "I think it may be better if we sat down again. I have a lot of things to tell you too."
Neither minds that the party of three in the restaurant below will be waiting there for quite some time.
-----
One thing Gojyo is sure of is that he definitely feels fuzzy. Another thing is that he has strong suspicions that somehow, someway, it has something to do with why Hakkai is acting so strange today.
"Hey, baby?" he whispers, leaning towards Hakkai's ear and speaking as low as he can since he knows how far Goku's hearing can stretch, "You sure everything's okay?"
They have had their food for several minutes, and although Goku and Gojyo initially began their usual food bickering, neither fought with much fervor. It is clear to Gojyo that the reason for that also seems to be because of Hakkai, even on Goku's end. If the monkey senses something is wrong, then there's no way Hakkai is being completely honest.
"I'm a little hazy on the details of out afternoon fun," Gojyo continues, "but as far as I'm concerned that only means it was one hell of a ride. I'm sore in all kinds of fun places. It's been awhile since you let me top. Must have been in a generous mood, huh?"
"Gojyo, please," Hakkai whispers back, nudging Gojyo away while eyeing their thankfully oblivious companions as Goku and Jien ravenously devour their courses, "This isn't exactly an appropriate conversation for the dinner table. And I assure you," he adds, turning his gaze briefly on Gojyo to show haunted green eyes that do not at all portray the same feeling as Hakkai's words, "I am fine. You needn't worry so much. I'm merely…fatigued. You can understand." Hakkai tries to smile coyly, but Gojyo isn't buying it.
Usually the healer is at least somewhat believable in his swindling of Gojyo, even though Gojyo can always see through it. But today Hakkai's attempts are almost laughable.
It doesn't help that Goku, between large bites, continuously tosses Hakkai nervous flicks of his eyes. The combination has Gojyo on edge and makes him wonder if he missed something somewhere. If he really thinks about, their afternoon is more than just fuzzy. They had to have had sex, but the details are a mystery. Gojyo should at least remember something.
"I'm so sorry, Gojyo…"
Gojyo nearly knocks over his beer, half reaching for it when the distant sound of Hakkai's pained voice floods through his senses. What the hell was that?
Looking to Hakkai, Gojyo watches the meticulous, controlled and proper bites Hakkai takes of his food, and feels suspicion rising up inside of him. Why doesn't he remember? Why is Hakkai acting so detached? There has to be something Hakkai isn't telling him.
The group finishes their meal and there still is no sign of Sanzo and Meiyuu. They decide that there is no reason for them to babysit; if Sanzo is still up there then their job of moral support has fulfilled its usefulness.
"I don't suppose I could steal my brother for the afternoon," Jien says once they have resurfaced from the restaurant into the sunlit streets, "I need to get back to the castle soon in case anything comes. It would be nice to have you to myself for a change," he smiles at Gojyo.
Gojyo is still antsy about the situation with Hakkai, but the part of him that trusts Hakkai explicitly wants to believe it isn't anything serious. He grins in reply to his brother's request. "I think Hakkai and Goku can amuse themselves without us. You guys mind?" he asks, turning to his friends.
Goku shakes his head. "If I had a brother, I'd want some playtime alone. Go ahead."
Jien and Gojyo laugh at the idea of their time together being called playtime.
Looking appeasing and still somewhat disjointed, Hakkai smiles with an awkward force to the expression, but nods in agreement with Goku. "By all means. I doubt Sanzo will worry about us. I was thinking of heading back to the inn myself. I don't think we have anything to fear should we separate."
"We'll meet ya back there," Gojyo says, and he moves into Hakkai's body for a quick kiss. Before pulling away he whispers, "I still think something's wrong, baby. Maybe by the time we get back you'll be ready to tell me."
Hakkai says nothing as Gojyo and Jien head off. He only gazes after them and then turns, resolutely, to head back to the inn.
Realizing he is either being ignored or has been entirely forgotten, Goku runs ahead to catch up with Hakkai. "Hey, wait! I'll walk back with you. Don't got nothing else to do."
An absent nod replies to this, though Hakkai remains silent.
Overhead, Goku catches a flash of white and looks up. High above them he sees Hakuryuu stretching his wings in the sunlight. The dragon catches sight of Goku too and starts to swoop down, but once nearing Hakkai he falters. Instead of coming down, Hakuryuu flies on ahead of them to the inn and disappears.
Goku is certain now. The small physical signs are one thing, barely noticeable in some respects, like Hakkai's hair, since it has been growing longer anyway. But it is the feeling Goku gets from his friend, the strange behavior, and that distinctive smell of imminent danger from a youkai, as if at any moment Goku might face an attack. He has never felt something like this from Hakkai before. And whatever it is, it's growing.
"Hakkai…" Goku says, timid but certain of what he must say.
As if finally reached by Goku's presence, Hakkai starts a bit, but then turns to look at Goku with a soft smile. "Yes, Goku, what is it?"
There have been times when Goku could never have believed Hakkai was capable of harming anything. He has seen the healer in action enough to know how foolish a thought that is, but he has never feared Hakkai for his own sake. Seeing that tender smile now almost makes Goku reconsider. But the danger is still in the air, and Goku cannot afford to dismiss it.
He stops in the street and Hakkai stops with him. There is questioning on his friend's face now, and Goku has to wonder if Hakkai even remembers how he acted towards Goku before.
"Hakkai," he says, bolstered but still unfairly afraid, "Something is wrong with you. I don't know what it is. But if you really are our friend, if you're really you, then you have to tell us what it is. Hakkai," Goku taker a breath, and prays that the emerald eyes looking back at him remain the shade Goku trusts, "Are you still Hakkai?"
tbc...
A/N: I exist! Yes, yes, how bad I have been , but I was in Georgia with my sister and her boys, including new baby Korbin. Yes, Korbin, after Corbin Dallas of The Fifth Element. I love my family. Anyway, new chapter, and the plot continues to twist. Better for Sanzo and Goku, not so good for the other two. Jien will be leaving us and they will all be leaving the town soon. I also plan to have another dreamworld chapter for your delights in the near future. Still fun ahead, so let me know you haven't forgotten me. Love you all and your support.
Also, I have finally, thank you, finished volume six. I had some trouble tracking down one. Anyway, for anyone interested, NO, Hazel will never appear. The story began before the reload manga arc and will never cross paths with Hazel. HE DOES NOT EXIST. I am very interested to read the next volume (having already cheated with scans from Japan) and I can tell you, it is going to be fun. Hazel has grown on me in the manga since Minekura-sama is changing everything, but damn did I hate nearly the entirely of Gunlock. Anyway, no more ranting, but NO, there will never be a Hazel. There will, however, be the reappearance of an old villain. That is all I will tell you. hehehe...
Crim
