Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds, I do own Embreonna Harlow.
(A/N: Sorry about the shortness again, I have to get use to the margins on here.)
EMBREONNA'S POV
I sighed leaning back in my chair. I was waiting to take my final test, my final test being at a shooting range. I had put my focus more on the behavior part more than I had the armed part, spending the majority of my sleepless nights studying past and somewhat current cases of serial killers and mass murders, completely forgetting that the job I was shooting for ( pun not intended…) required me to be able to control a fire arm.
I closed my eyes and tried to clear my head of everything that wouldn't help me get through this…well not everything.
Somehow my mind kept lingering on Spencer. Though the thought was a good one, that made me smile every time I thought of him, I needed to be focused on this…right now. Besides, if I pass this, I'll be seeing him soon.
…If I pass this…
…If I pass this…
…If I pass this…
I have to pass this. Nothing will stop me…
"Miss Harlow…"
…Except maybe her…
I opened my eyes and looked to the doorway that leads to the back area, "we're ready for you." Erin Strauss said with a smile I knew was forced, as she put the clip board she was holding under her arm.
I weakly smiled and followed her to where my final test would take place. The reason, the only reason, I knew that the smile was fake was because the day before Erin and I had a talk.
"I'm just hoping, Miss Harlow, that tomorrow isn't going to be a complete waste of my time. I have a busy schedule and not enough time to be wasting away…" Erin had said just before I had left her office.
I mean I knew she could be blunt about things, but damn. Way to put the pressure completely on me the day before I handle an actual gun. Sure I've had some training for me to qualify me to take the test in the first place, but the gun I would use then didn't have nearly the same power as the one I about ready to use did; they were sure to let me know that every time I was training.
"After your test, we will meet in the back office," Erin said pointing to the door that I could only guessed led to the back office, "and we will discuss your progress and any further information then." She finished handing off the clipboard to Ben before going through the back office door.
I sighed and looked to Ben, "Yes…she's always like that." He stated through a forced laugh as he looked over the papers that were on the clipboard…what I believed to be a few papers from my "file".
I put my focus, what I had left of it, on the spot where I would be shooting. The longer I looked at it the farther it seemed to be; I swear I even saw it move back farther.
"Alright, go ahead and gear up." Ben said setting the clipboard down.
I stared at the spot for a few more moments before getting everything that I needed.
"You are aware of everything you are putting risk? Family, friends, your life." Erin asked folding her hands on her desk.
"I am." I replied, sitting up straight with my legs crossed, my hands sitting on my knee.
"And you're willing to have that all at risk?" She asked with an eyebrow raised.
"Ma'am, I lost everything after what happened to me. Family, friends…and my life? This quickly became my life. I didn't know that people like him existed. Imagine my surprise when I found out, and that they could be even worse than what I had gone through. So yes, I am willing to have it at risk." I said defending myself for what she apparently had the nerve to question.
Erin pressed her lips to a line as she leaned back in her chair, she put her arms on the arm rests and she began to tap her fingers with one of her hands on the end of the rest. One finger falling slowly after another as she started strumming a steady rhythm.
Erin had been at this for about an hour, so if I didn't pass the last test, which she has yet to tell me if I had or not, she was only wasting her own time and was starting to waste mine. I let out a short sigh through my nose out of frustration. I had to contain all of this, I had to show her that I can't be broken easily, something I had learned the hard way. So far I had been able to camouflage my frustration as determination, but that ability was quickly whittling away.
We did nothing but stare at each other while she had continued to give me a questionable look. Finally, after what felt like ages, she leaned forward on her desk. She looked down to what I believed to be my test results. After I was done shooting, Ben had ushered me straight into here. I guess not knowing my test results was supposed to rattle my cage. I'll admit, it did…but I wasn't about to show it to her. Ben had personally brought in my results to Erin, as he walked back past me to exit the room; I looked to him for some sort of conformation on how I did, but got nothing in return.
"You passed your final test." Erin finally admitted. I let out a small sigh of relief, and leaned back in my chair. "I just hope you fully realize what you are getting into." She continued to question me.
"Yes, ma'am; I'm fully aware." I said wishing that looks could kill…or at least mute a bitch.
We spent the rest of my time in her office going over when I would be leaving and who I would answer to when I got there. Well…she spent the rest of the time doing that. I spent the rest of the time throwing a party in my head.
I was anxious to get a reply from Spencer now. I was debating on finally telling him or wait and surprise the bejeezus out of him. I'll figure it out when he writes back.
"Now, go and make the world a better place." Erin said while standing up.
I followed her action as she held out her hand, I took her hand and shook it quickly wanting to get out and get home. I had a few things to take care of. I smiled at Erin before taking my leave.
"Miss Harlow," She stopped me as I got to the door.
"Yes?" I asked looking back to her.
"Congratulations." She smiled weakly.
