Chapter Three: Disintegrating Delusions

"There's just something about him," Deela insisted. "Something about him feels off."

Arin stopped trying to manipulate her mane and turned to her best friend. She was grateful for all the support and advice Deela always seemed to have, but she wasn't ready to give up on Ethan just yet. She smiled at the asari and took her blue hands in her tanned ones. "I trust you, I do."

"Good."

"But," Arin continued.

"But?"

"But you're basing this on the one time you met him," the human argued.

The asari pursed her lips; she may only be 98 years old, but that was old enough to be able to decipher most people very accurately. "What about the time he showed up at my club?"

"You said you didn't talk to him, so technically speaking, it wasn't a meeting."

"Oh, please. He was at the next best thing to a strip club, doesn't that bother you?"

"Normally, hell yes it would've." Deela threw her hands up and mouthed a thank-you at Arin's words. "But I need to get used to the idea that I need to lower my expectations if I'm ever to find someone for good."

"Great. Just great. Now you're settling for someone." The asari sighed, giving up for the day. Instead, she stood and turned her friend around with her toward the mirror. Well, maybe she hadn't exactly given up. "You know, if I messed up your beautiful curls, it'd probably take you too long to fix them in time for your date."

"Oh, just try it," Arin warned, doing her best to hide a playful smile. "How are things with you and Tashia? Is she still set on the Commando thing?"

"Mhmm. Said she wants to travel and follow on her father's footsteps."

"And you said…"

"I'm just not ready for that. She was fine with it, said she was going to give me more time."

"Sounds like an eventual ultimatum," Arin said grimly.

"Yeah… I know. I know at the end of it all, she's going to end up going off to Illium or some place like that and I'm going to stay. But for now, I'll enjoy the time we have."

Arin scoffed. "No way I would be handling it as well as you are."

"Probably not," the asari laughed. "Humans are always so charged and violent with your emotions. I don't envy you. Besides, if we end up on bad terms, I'll just sleep with a drell to piss her off."

It had always seemed a little odd to Arin how each of the species considered each other aliens and yet managed to live in the Citadel like it wasn't a giant melting pot of sorts. That being said, she admired people like Deela, who was willing to look past someone's species in the ways of intimacy and in the face of hardships and stigmas that the rare cross-species relationships brought on. She couldn't imagine herself with anyone other than another human. As for Deela…

"A drell?"

"Yes. You've never met one?"

"I have. Their skin is so gritty… and they remind me of frogs."

"Frogs?"

"Nevermind. I doubt she'd care," Arin added before she had to explain what a frog was.

Deela snickered. "That's because you underestimate her hatred."

"Then you may as well go for an elcor," Arin joked, forcing Deela to give her a gentle push.

Arin's omni-tool pinged and she brought it up to see a message sent by Ethan. He was being help up at work and going to be a little late. A little late? It was close to an hour late now. She settled for assuming that being the requisitions officer for an Alliance ship required a little extra time and attention now and then, so she sent him a message telling him she'd wait for him.

Imagining what Deela would say about Ethan being late, Arin sat back at the restaurant they were supposed to meet and avoided any further thoughts on the subject. He'd show up. She hoped. This was her first time dating an Alliance man, having evaded doing so up until now. Family life was nothing less than chaotic when the heads of the family themselves were Alliance career, which made the military a part of the family. She had learned that the hard way; Alliance blood coursed through her veins, but it had never done anything good for her.

As Arin sat watching the passersby, she smiled to herself at the thought of what her brother would say if he knew the kind of person she'd been seeing. She amazed even herself when she finally gave in to Ethan.

Although… Now that she thought about it though, it wasn't a real shocker. He was good looking, tall, and most of all, persistent. Although the two were vaguely aware of each other through her brother, it had only been on Ethan's previous shore leave that they'd had their first date. This was their fourth, though it hardly felt like it because they had been so spaced out due to his work.

She tried to picture what a relationship would be with him… He treated her nicely enough when they actually saw each other and they had gotten along great so far. Even though she didn't feel much of a connection, there was still potential. Before she could analyze their disorderly romance any further, she spotted Ethan walking toward her still in his fatigues. Had she known this was going to be a super casual date she wouldn't have worn such tight-fitted pants and high heels.

Arin stood to greet him when he approached, and he gave her a peck on the cheek. She was immediately drawn to his smell… like that shoddy, watered down beer they sold at cheap bars. Maybe she shouldn't get mad at him for drinking on the job if his commanding officers didn't.

"Sorry I'm late, work issues. Had an order come in sooner than it was supposed to so I had to deal with that."

"Did the drinks help?" she heard herself ask.

Luckily didn't hear her because a salarian came to their table and asked for their drinks and orders. And as the salarian was taking Ethan's choice of drink, Arin's omni-tool pinged loudly. "And for you?" the salarian asked.

"Just water, please."

"We'll need some time to look at the menu," Ethan said without bothering to look at the waiter.

"I'll bring your drinks."

She shouldn't say anything else, this barely being their fourth date, but her curiosity needed to be satiated. "Ethan… have you—" Her omni-tool pinged loudly again, interrupting her question.

"I was thinking we could go see that Blasto movie after this… or maybe we could head back to your place."

She thought she'd be ready to take it one step further with Ethan, like he obviously seemed to be… but she… she just needed more time. More interaction. More chemistry. Arin's mouth opened to speak, but she had no answer to give him. Instead, she was saved by yet another ping on her omni-tool. Whoever had been trying to make contact with her had the best and worst timing. "Sorry," she said as she opened her omni-tool to change the volume settings. A quick peak at the main screen told her she had three messages from Deela, which was weird because the asari almost never had time to use her omni-tool at work.

"What do you say, huh?" Ethan pressed, giving her one of his sweet one-sided grins.

"I…"

"Here are your drinks," the salarian cut in before she could utter another word and set their drinks on the table. Thank goodness for that! "Have you decided what to order?"

"No. We need more time," her date insisted.

"Very well. I'll come back soon."

"We should look at the menu," she said as she began to browse the different dishes.

"Damn aliens," Ethan said, not bothering to see whether or not the salarian was out of earshot. "You'd think their time spent with humans would've taught them a thing or two about how to act properly. But no, they're just a bunch of rude assholes."

Arin scowled both at the light her omni-tool pulsed having received yet another message, and at how closely xenophobic Ethan was beginning to appear. Or maybe he was just an angry type of drunk. It was now or never. If she didn't ask him, her curiosity would never be satisfied, and he'd just end up asking her a question she wasn't ready to answer. "Ethan…"

"And y'know what the worst part is? They think they're better than us," he scoffed.

"Ethan… have you been drinking?"

His eyes widened for a second and his face quickly distorted into something in between frustration and outrage. "What? No."

"I can smell it. From across the table."

"What? That? Oh—" her omni-tool lit up again, and despite being distracted at how ridiculous Ethan was becoming, she began to worry something might be up with Deela. "—Yeah, I had a beer earlier when I got the call that I had another shipment coming in 'cause it stressed me out. Even my senior officer joined in to help me unload a skytruck full of—"

"Have you decided what to order?" the salarian said. Had she not know better, Arin would have thought the salarian was using a tactical cloak like her brother's to appear out of nowhere.

"Are you serious?" Ethan reproached. Much to her disgust, in addition to everything else, Ethan's temper began to show. She would have tried to calm him had her omni-tool not lit up again.

Anxious, she had to find out what was going on with Deela. When she brought her omni-tool back to life, she began to read Deela's messages, even as Ethan tried to reprimand the waiter on proper etiquette.

'7:46PM SCT Deela T'Messi: Arin your boyfriend is a pig. Please ditch him. I'll explain later.'

'7:52PM SCT Deela T'Messi: Arin he was here just a little bit ago. Okay? He was getting a very nice and personal lap dance and drinking with his boys.'

'7:54PM SCT Deela T'Messi: I'm going to get in trouble if I keep messaging you. Just. Trust me. Please.'

'7:56PM SCT Deela T'Messi: Arin Shepard. At least reply! Tell me you left the jerk.

'8:00PM SCT Deela T'Messi: Oh you better be reading these or I'm going to kill you.'

"You know what," Arin snapped, gaining both the salarian and her date's attention with her voice, "I'm sorry for wasting your time, sir; we will not be ordering anything today. As for you, Ethan, I just hope you enjoyed yourself at Chora's Den. Hell, you're not even worth getting mad at." She laughed and strode to the nearest skycab stand.

"Arin!"

Arin felt her anger and regret fill her with each step she took. She had been so stupid. So blind. She may be no prize, but she deserved happiness. A jerk like Ethan wasn't going to cut it. She was through with lowering her expectations. It had been a bad idea from the start, just like Deela cautioned.

"Arin, wait, damn it!"

Even if Ethan wasn't a gentlemen's club kind of guy and even if he wasn't a sleazy liar, Arin was thoroughly appalled, even revolted at the way he treated the salarian. Ugh! But it wasn't just the salarian. She played back small little memories of things he had mentioned that she so inanely dismissed as anything but xenophobic.

She hit the red light of the skycab request stand and just as it turned green, Arin felt fingers dig into her arm as she was pulled back with such force that she very nearly lost her balance. "The hell's the matter with you?!" Ethan's voice boomed behind her.

Having just regained her balance, she was acting purely on instinct; as Ethan turned her to face him, the hilt of her palm effectively connected with his upper stomach. She had successfully knocked the wind out of him just like her brother had taught her in his little self-defense lessons when she first started dating. Maybe Ethan hadn't exactly deserved it, but he wouldn't be trying to catch his breath had he behaved like the proper human being he'd had just been preaching about. She heard the throttle of a skycar behind her, and without another look to her date or the few people that were watching, she climbed in.

'8:11PM SCT Arin Shepard: Hey. Ditched him. Should have listened to you… I'm sorry.'

'8:13PM SCT Deela T'Messi: You okay?'

'8:14PM SCT Arin Shepard: Hah- you should ask him that.'

'8:16PM SCT Deela T'Messi: That's my girl! So where are you right now?'

'8:16PM SCT Arin Shepard: Parked outside the closest bar I could find.'

'8:20PM SCT Deela T'Messi: Just come to Chora's Den, have a few while I'll try to get off early and then we can go to Purgatory. Yeah?'

'8:20PM SCT Arin Shepard: No need to tell me twice. I'll be there.'

Arin set the cab down on the skycar lot and did her best to regain some composure when the airlocked doors propped themselves open. Instead of getting out, however, she burst into tears without warning, feeling the weight of the galaxy on her shoulders. It wasn't Ethan she was crying about, or even any one specific thing. It was everything and nothing. Her mother and father had already started their careers by the time they were her age, and her brother had gotten his entire life together even before that. What was she doing with her life? She was nothing but a nurse— she was nothing compared to him. And after everything he sacrificed for her… She swallowed hard before her sobbing became worse and decided that instead of feeling like a waste, her brother would have taken her out to get wasted after talking her up. So that's what she was going to do.

The familiar sights in Chora's Den took very little time to get used to; it was the aroma that she found more offensive. Though tonight the place seemed to have a lot less krogan than it usually did, the species had a rather distinct smell that tended to inhabit compact spaces. Ignoring this, Arin grabbed a seat at the bar and returned the smile of the bartender who was filling a glass with some astonishingly bright green liquid.

"I'll have an Irish whiskey, neat," she said to the bartender when she got to her. "Deela!" Arin gasped just a hint as a pair of skinny blue arms wrapped themselves across her shoulders into a hug from behind. "You sure you won't get in trouble with Fist?"

"I doubt it. He knows I put on a good show," Deela said as she came around Arin's side. "How do you feel?"

She thought her answer over as the bartender settled her drink. "Fine actually," she concluded. "You were right about everything, but we'll talk later. I just hope Ethan doesn't end up showing his face around while I'm here."

"Don't worry, if he does, I'll just have one of our krogan throw him out," she promised. Satisfied for the time being, Deela left her friend to her drink.

For her part, Arin downed her whiskey like a pro, which the bartender was quick to replace. She brought up her omni-tool after a while to help pass the time. No messages from Ethan. Surprise, surprise. When her new drink came, Arin resolved to quit thinking about today, though it proved to be harder than she had envisioned. Instead, her mind was invaded by thoughts and memories of all the guys she had ever dated. They haunted her like those damned mosquitoes back when her family was briefly stationed on Earth.

But just like mosquitoes, those memories were pests, too. "I'll have another," she said to the bartender when she got close again, "and make it a double, please." It was time to change that. If she was to make her brother's sacrifice worth anything, she wanted to make memories worth remembering.

"I see you're getting started for tonight," Deela said beside her. Arin turned to her friend and stood, anticipating they would be leaving soon. "We're not leaving yet, I have to make a few more rounds. Oh and, don't look now, but you have an admirer at the bar staring at your ass." Her violet eyes shifted quickly past Arin's shoulder and then back to her again, giving her a childish wink before leaving again.