Aro, Marcus and Caius were coming over to greet us. It was close to dawn and I could see the sun's rays lighting the base of the sky with a calm orange. Any other time than this and I would have been calm, but I couldn't when Bella was somewhere in that castle. I had no idea whether she was okay or even alive… I didn't like thinking that, but I couldn't help it.
It annoyed me that they were blocking their thoughts. It agitated me more than normal.
"Carlisle! We're so glad you could make it!" Actually, Aro was the only one who looked glad. Marcus and Caius were looking really bored and their thoughts wished they could be elsewhere. Carlisle and Aro embraced in a hug and Aro took Carlisle's hand, filling himself in on his thoughts.
Aro sped through Carlisle's thoughts faster than I'd seen possible. He skipped all the things he knew before Carlisle left, dawdled on certain pieces of information that could come in handy later but slowed everything down when it came to Forks. Forks and Bella and I.
He immediately looked at me and I cringed internally.
"Can it be true?" He asked incredulous. I looked to the floor and kept quiet. Aro's thoughts were a blur, refusing to believe I could survive longer than an hour – though I scarcely did – in the same room as my singer, let alone fall in love with her.
I didn't want him to touch me. He would read my thoughts and know we knew Bella was here. He would try and stop us getting her back and –
Before I knew it he was touching my hand and I knew it was worthless. He'd probably already seen it from Carlisle anyway.
He looked through my mind and I saw my mind though his. I watched every inch of my being with Bella and how beautiful she was when she walked through the cafeteria's doors leaving me wanting to know so much more about her. The time when I looked down on her with pure hatred, such beauty matching her mouth-watering scent. How beautiful she looked in the meadow where we told each other we were in love with each other. Everything with James… This whole mess…
"It is. Oh my." His breath caught and he stepped back, trying to contain it. Slowly, a small smile broke out onto his face. "Well, I wouldn't believe it if you just told me, I must say. And your singer too. How ever did you do it?" I realised it was a question directed at me and I needed to answer. His thoughts were hanging on my next words but mine where on finding Bella. I stared at the floor, remembering happier times.
"I hated her at first but after talking to her I knew I really liked her. Before long I was in love with her and I couldn't do anything about it. I could bring myself to hurt her…"
"Well," Aro said after a while. "That's quite extraordinary, I must say. Just thinking about how she smelt to you makes me thirsty. Extraordinary…" He turned around towards the castle, mumbling things about how I was 'remarkable' and how 'peculiar' I was. I honestly couldn't care less. I was an empty shell without Bella. I always would be without her.
Marcus rolled his eyes. "Do come in, we have your rooms all ready for you." We followed into the stony building and Carlisle broke into conversation with Caius, Marcus soon joined in. Rosalie and Alice started fast chatter about what they were supposedly wearing to the ball, but knowing Alice she would change her mind faster than I heard thoughts. Jasper and Emmett were talking about how they didn't understand, and never would understand why the girls got so excited about clothes. Esme came up beside me.
I whispered to her, hoping no one would hear too much. "What am I going to do? Aro already knows…and…"
"There's not much we can do, dear. He knows but he seemed to be more interested about how you could resist her, and quite honestly, I think it's amazing you did. You should be proud."
"Proud?" My voice raised a little. "How can I be proud when I've hurt her so much? How could she ever want me back after I've dragged her into this? Yes, she wrote on the letter but emotions change so quickly."
"You have to have faith in her Edward. She loves you. She stillloves you even after you left her. She needs you just as much as you need her. You can't live without each other, that's plainly obvious."
I was a monster, and I scarcely understood how she ever fell in love with me. But maybe it was true. She wrote it down, in her clear hand writing. 'I remember, Edward. I love you just as much.' Things change, love changes, who you love changes. It would for her. For me, I would always love her, but I wouldn't stop her if she didn't want me.
Jasper turned around and gave me an odd look. Edward, your emotions change faster than Alice does on what she's wearing. Try and perk up, we're close to getting her back. A wave of calm hit me and I tried to relax into it but it was so hard. I couldn't relax when I knew she might be hurt here.
We came to a very small elevator that was barely big enough for all of us, but somehow, even with Emmett, we managed it. We got to the inside of the castle, a reception area. It was decorated with finery in generous amounts. The Volturi seemed to like the colour gold, a lot. Yes, I liked it but I didn't over use it like this. It made my eyes hurt. A woman, a human woman, sat at the desk.
"Good morning, Gianna." Marcus greeted. Her thoughts were thick Italian.
Marcus never speaks. Wow. Quite a handful with them too, must be for the ball. I wonder what I should do on that day off. I do wish they would change me. It sounds so wonderful… The bronze haired one's looking at me…
I averted my gaze very quickly, not wanting to get involved in that mess.
Aro's thoughts were drifting about from one thing to another, but every now and then his mind would remind himself of me and he would start doing algebra or translate 'We Wish You A Merry Christmas' into French, Portuguese or another European language. Caius and Marcus were much the same but they picked more tasteful songs compared to Aro.
The next room was a little less gold, it still screamed at you but a little less than the reception. I didn't know how Gianna could stand it. We all tensed when we saw Jane whisper in Aro's ear. I couldn't hear what they said and Aro's and Jane's mind were all preoccupied so I didn't catch anything. They really were blocking me, there was something they didn't want me to know. I would find it out. No matter what.
We were led into the throne room, or at least it seemed to be the throne room. There were three chairs on a platform and paintings covered nearly every wall. The three main members of the Volturi sat. Alec, Demetri and Felix joined us, whispering, and their minds too, were blocking me. Something was up.
"Well, Carlisle, it wouldn't be a lie to say you have brought with you more than your coven." He still looked at me with shock but said nothing about it. Marcus leant over and touched Aro's hand. Their minds were so heavily guarded it was unreal. Aro frowned and then continued. "We have your rooms ready in the west wing. I don't suppose any of you have decided on changing you way of life?" It came out as a question and we waited for anyone to speak, if they were willing to. I couldn't imagine why any of us would. We had become such a strong family over the years and helped each other out when we needed it. We each needed each other and we all knew that.
"No?," Aro rose his eyebrows. "Well, I see you are all happy. Felix will take you to your rooms." Felix mentally grumbled something about always being the 'luggage boy' but reminded himself of the advanced mathematical problem he had to do to stop me listening in. I scowled at the back of his head.
We were led down long corridors and hardly ever turned corners. When I wasn't hanging on Felix's every thought, my mind was constantly getting more and more anxious. Jasper's eyes were darting around, just as worried as me. I gave him a silent apology through my eyes when he looked up but my mind would always be on Bella.
I prayed to whoever it was who gave her to me that she would be safe. Whatever I'd done to deserve her, I was so grateful. I was given an angel, but how stupid could I get? Just wandering around a castle when she could be attacked at any moment. I should be protecting her! She needs protecting! Who knows what kind of trouble my Bella could get into with a palace full of blood thirsty vampires?! What would I do if –
"Here are your rooms. All along this corridor. There are four rooms, take whichever suits you best. There is a library near. Turn left at the end of the passage. You're bound to get bored. Don't go wandering without a member with you. Aro won't thank you for it." I felt this was more directed at me than anyone else. He left us outside our new rooms and I realised something else. A second later I heard it in my mind because everyone thought it.
I would have a room to myself and I would be alone.
Alone.
It dawned on me how I knew what alone felt like. Those words on the back of that book couldn't have been truer. I knew what alone felt like, before I met Bella wasn't alone. That was just waiting in solitude for our paths to cross. That wasn't alone. Alone is abandoned and deserted from the one thing that means the most in life. Your true love.
It hurt.
I walked to the end of the passage and took the room just before the library without a word to the rest of my family. Their thoughts were those of shock, cautiousness and understanding. I needed to work out what would happen in three days time.
The room was grand. Grand in a sense of more screaming gold that was totally expected from anything to do with the Volturi. I paid no attention to any of the ornaments or paintings in the room, or how soft everything seemed to look. I just fell onto the bed, sighing a feeble sigh.
I was a mess without her.
Over the next day, I didn't move a muscle. I sat, staring at the high ceiling of my room, contemplating why I was good enough for Bella, why I had ever taken her in the first place and why she ever found anything she liked about me, after finding out about the monster I was. No one came in to bother me, which suited me just fine. I didn't want to be disturbed when I was thinking over dismal things. I was careful not to get too caught up in my thoughts because, as I found out last September, I ended up making mistakes I would definitely regret.
Sometime around 4AM, when I realised I had been still for far too long, I left my room to visit the library. I was actually rather shocked when I came into the room. Books stretched around the bottom of the room, covering as much space as possible and a black iron spiral staircase led up to another floor, and another after that, of more books. Soft leather chairs were in the area in the middle of the room, trolley carts held books that had just been returned and there were busts of famous vampires just about everyone needed to know or knew. Past the stairs the shelves turned and continued and the soft lights gave it a warm feeling. If I didn't know I was in a vampire castle I would think it was a real library and if I wasn't under the current circumstances I would take delight in finding a good book to read. Most of the collection looked like fiction but I was sure there was non-fiction somewhere and upstairs looked like reference. This, being the Volturi, was probably just one of their small libraries… (profile)
I walked through, my hands trailing the book's hard spines, looking at the old and new copies and the colours that came with them. As my fingertips touched the backs of the books, my eyes caught the title of one. Wuthering Heights. Bella's favourite… The lines 'I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!' sprung to mind and were also, never more true. The books, like I guessed, curved around and followed on to a larger part, where tables and chairs sat for studying. I wasn't paying attention to any thoughts, I was lost in the expanse of the collection and architecture of the place. However, I did have to move back behind a wall to stop getting caught when I saw Aro and…Victoria engrossed in conversation.
"…and what do you suppose we do now? It's a little late to try and take it back."
"Only because," Her voice and thoughts were ferocious. "You took the liberty of changing her! Ruining my whole plan! I picked her because she was weak and wouldn't fight back! He would see and I could get my revenge!"
Aro's voice held power. "Your revenge, Victoria, is of no importance to me, or any of us. The Volturi have seen many things over these millenniums and you are not the only vampire seeking such things. We have taken her because we believe that she can help us and as a new born she needs…guidance. Although, if this gets out of hand and if this ruins the ball, you shall be killed. Keep that in mind. Besides," his tone changed. "Does it not work both ways?"
There was a slight pause before Victoria spoke. "You mean, kill him instead?"
"I was simply speaking my thoughts. Use it or do not." Aro wandered out of the room, using the other exit. Victoria stood glued to her spot. Her mind was a flurry of churning gears and I couldn't help my gasp.
Bella…had been bitten. She was in this building, writhing in pain because of the fire…Aro had put there…
My angel had fallen again. And again, I wasn't there to catch her. She was becoming a monster that she didn't deserve to be. She deserved so much more that this. Not that I minded her being like that. I would get to hold her without wanting to tear her apart. I knew it would have happened but it shouldn't have happened in this way.
I fled from the library as quick as I could.
I was always glad that I was the fastest in my family, though I never really understood why. Sure, it helped in baseball games but there was another reason and it wasn't just to help Emmett's competitive side. I realised how much it helped.
I barged into Alice and Jasper's room, without knocking, who were currently cuddling into each other. They jumped when the door hit the wall.
"How didn't you see this?!"
Alice's eyes were wide with shock. "See what?"
"Bella being changed!" Alice gasped. Jasper was trying desperately to calm me down, and it was slowly working. "Thank you," I muttered after a while. I saw him nod as Alice sprung up from the bed.
"What do you mean, Edward?"
"I mean, Alice, that Bella, somewhere in here, is becoming a vampire like the rest of us."
Her eyes grew wider with glee and a large smile formed on her face. "That's –"
"Alice," I snarled. "Think about it."
I saw her mind go through scenarios with Bella and the Volturi and her smile faded. "Oh."
"Oh indeed."
"So wait," Jasper interrupted our argument. "Bella is somewhere in Volterra, becoming a vampire with the Volturi on her side and you're complaining."
"Jasper, the Volturi aren't the best people to have as buddies. You don't normally leave Volterra without having them dig their claws in." Alice pointed out, whilst taking his hand and squeezing it.
"Actually, he has a point. Look at Carlisle." Her eyebrows furrowed as I said this.
"Carlisle only got out because Aro was interested on how he wouldn't attack humans. They wanted to see how long he could keep it up. Bella, I hope, will do the same but that doesn't mean they will let her go. She needs something original, and though Bella is one of a kind, she could do with some sort of exceptional gift to get her out here." No one said anything for a while. Each of us were immerged in our own thoughts and plans. I didn't even notice Alice have a vision. "Don't go looking for her." She replayed her vision in her head so I could see. Jane standing over me, with a malevolent smirk on her face. I was thrashing on the floor in pain as she used her power. I nodded to Alice and Jasper but I doubted Jane would stop me completely.
I eyed the mark I'd left with the door knob on the wall. "I'll leave you two now. Sorry about the wall." Jasper raised an eyebrow as I left them to be alone. I went to my room.
I needed time to let this sink in. The idea of my angel changing, becoming like me was…in all truths, wonderful. I couldn't imagine a better thing, apart from maybe if we were both human, but if it was going to happen, I wanted her to be at least comfortable when it happened. The Volturi was the lap of luxury, yes, but no one would be there to comfort her, hold her hand, and tell her it would be over soon.
She was alone just like me.
The day came and went. I saw the sun come up and down and I was trying no to sprint out of my suite and search every room in the whole structure. I had paced around the castle passages, outside near the gates, Alice and Jasper's suite as they spoke to me, the library, and a little too close to the throne room again. I was on my four hundred and fifty six thousandth three hundred and twenty second step when Rosalie came into my room, leaving the door wide open. I stopped.
"Firstly," she began. "I never meant to give you the idea that we didn't want you because it's not true. Your letter hit us all hard. We were a mess without you. Alice wouldn't speak to me, none of us would have any real conversations and even Emmett lost his playful toddler-like attitude."
"Hey!" He walked in, pretending to scowl at Rose. She ignored him.
"What I'm trying to say is I'm sorry I gave you that incentive."
"Actually Rose, going to England was the reason I came back."
She frowned and was about to speak but Emmett beat her to it. "What?"
I shook my head. "I'll tell you another time…Was there anything else?"
"Oh, yeah. Um, Alice told us about Bella." Emmett said, wincing a little, waiting for my reaction.
This time I nodded calmly. "You were bound to find out even if I didn't tell you."
"I thought you'd take it bad. I brought it up and everything."
"Emmett did you honestly think this hasn't been on my mind day and night?"
He didn't reply. "What are you going to do?" Rosalie asked. "About Bella?"
"Truthfully, I have no idea. Carlisle said act like nothing is going on but I can't do that when she's going though this torture."
Rosalie looked at me through knowing eyes. She had to watch Emmett suffer but her mind was trying to understand how I was feeling when I knew it was going on and I couldn't help her. I was just feeling empty. They left me be.
I watched the sun rise from my room. The small sparkles seemed to make me glow because the sun's rays weren't strong enough yet. The slits that were windows were only just wide enough to let the warmth in. It reminded me of how I would miss Bella's humanity. There was nothing like that warmth. It was beyond words.
I was slightly aware of Carlisle coming to sit beside me. "Edward, Aro wants us in the throne room." I nodded, responding to the words. "All of us, meaning you too." I frowned. Pushing myself up, I followed him out of the door. We didn't speak as we walked but I could feel his concern for me without having Jasper's power.
"Fantastic, you're all here." Aro's happy voice chimed as we entered the room. "This is just giving you information, but I liked the idea of calling you all here. Tanya's coven arrives late tonight and the ball is tomorrow evening. The ball is going to be a masquerade theme –" Alice squealed at this piece of news. – "So you girls have a day to find masks and suitable dresses if you haven't already. Same goes for you men, but of course, not in dresses. The forecast is cloudy so we don't expect a light show from any of you. Good luck and you can go!"
And with that we trundled out of the room. Alice was talking animatedly to Rosalie and Esme about what she was going to wear, where she'd seen it and how they could get it in an expensive shop. Jasper, Emmett and Carlisle were discussing how the girls could still need to go shopping after all having dresses. They turned down the route that led us down to our rooms and I was about to follow until I heard something.
Bella's scream.
I spun around and tore down the hallway, trying to follow where the sound came from. I would know her voice anywhere and it was a wound to my dead heart to hear her cry out in agony. I heard Alice call out my name and ask where I was running to but I didn't respond. I was concentrating so much on finding her. I slipped on a rug as I rounded a corner but it didn't distract me. That voice was all I needed... I needed to save her.
All of a sudden, I felt daggers start stabbing me everywhere in my body. My knees couldn't hold me up and I was on the floor, writhing in obvious pain. Jane stood above me wearing an evil smile that was meant to be sweet.
"Now, now, Eddie. What have we learnt from getting too curious and wandering around castles unsupervised? Hmm?"
Somewhere in the castle, I heard her scream again and I couldn't move to get to her. I couldn't get there in time…
This was what Alice saw and I had walked right into it. Jane was formidable and her gift terrified all of us. We had no control over it, even if we could move our bodies, our mind was taken over. I tried to sigh but my breath caught quickly again. I waited for her cruel game to stop.
Eventually, it did, I stayed flat on the floor with my eyes closed. When I opened them, Jane was on her knees, kneeling next to me. "So Eddie, you think you can save her." I kept quiet. "Good luck is all I have to say. I've heard Victoria has quite a plan for you two. Felix, please keep an eye on little Eddie here. I need to tell Master."
Jane skipped off and I saw Felix stand near my head. He said nothing, I said nothing. We were in agreement. I slowly stood up, he watched with focused eyes, trained on my every move. Unfortunately for him, I could read his mind and knew when he was going to strike.
I sprinted away.
I had to give him credit. Felix was large and he could run just a little faster than Emmett. He was tailing me until I heard another one of my love's screams and sadly for him, I left him two corridors away. I ran faster than I had ever before, and although the feeling was like flying, I felt like I was sinking with every step.
A cream door was in front of me. I had got to the centre of the castle and I could hear Bella's muffled screams vibrating through the door. Each one of them scratched my heart away as I heard each in take of breath from her. Each gasp, each cry, each scream would be burned into my memory for the rest of my life.
I was inches away from the door handle now. Inches away from being with my angel to help her though hell. Inches away from the one person who could ever complete my life. Inches away from saying I love–
The daggers started up again and I fell to the floor. I heard Aro sigh from above. "Dear me, Jane. It appears Edward will need to learn his lesson a little more thoroughly."
"Yes, Master. I agree entirely."
From then on I knew I wouldn't alone for a second. Jane would be glued to my side, making sure I didn't wander around trying to save Bella. This time I knew where she was and I couldn't save her.
I preferred alone to this.
A/N: SUPER LONG CHAPTER!
Okay, not
yet but I've broken up for the holidays and now I can update a lot
more! This week took forever but I've been so hyped up about typing
this story up I did it bit by bit and here we are with a brand new,
pain filled chapter!
I promise
the torture will end just…well, not just yet. And I'm not saying
whose torture will end either. I like to torture, just call me a real
life Jane (or not, though I do attack your mind).
Picture of the Library up. I'm a librarian, did you know? It's fun at my school and we get given cookies and shortbread for good work. We're not dogs, we just enjoy reading (and cookies…)
Hey, guess what…IT'S THREE DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS!!! Despite what you think, I'm not in a Christmas mood. I haven't got an advent calendar or a Christmas tree (normally, we would but we have building work going on so there's no room) but I'm sure we'll get presents!
Please review!
Emma
