The Way It Could Be.
Chapter 2:
The turbulent emotions that drive us apart.
The whole office noticed something different. It was in the air, the atmosphere and stemmed from their favourite agent and conman.
At first, it was just Peter Burke who seemed strange. The agent walked around like he was on eggshells and he kept glancing at Neal. Then, something shifted.
It started the day the agent and conman were spotted walking into Hughes' office. Neal was reluctant, spouting numerous other things they should be doing. He even went as far as to claim; 'those mortgage fraud cases aren't going to solve themselves!'.
Peter was insistent. Standing behind Neal, he guided the other man the few steps to Hughes office.
They didn't come out until lunch break. Neal was oddly silent and Peter was oddly cheerful, complete with jokes no one wanted to hear.
It wasn't walking on eggshells any more, it was like waiting for a bomb go off.
Not even Diana or Jones knew what was going on.
Peter considered it official, he was a terrible father. And it didn't help that his son was already an adult and they had lost so much time.
He tried to talk to Neal, but the other man kept everything close to his chest.
He invited Neal out to play some baseball, just like his dad used to do with him, but Neal just declined. And the one time he agreed; thanks to El's soft prodding, he spent the whole time complaining and ended up going home with a bloody nose from getting hit in the face with the ball.
He invited Neal to lunch and dinner but the conversation didn't flow the way it used to, if the conman; no, his son, even came. The realisation that he needed El around just to have a conversation with Neal was disheartening.
And there was something bothering El too. He knew she thought he didn't notice but, she had been lethargic, withdrawn and didn't ask about Neal as much as she used to.
Neal was the same. So much that even the people in the office noticed.
Hughes told him to talk to Neal but, that never seemed to work.
Neal didn't fit. It was Peter and El, always had been and always will be. Their worlds consisted of each other and there was no room for anyone else.
But, Peter was his father. Peter. Father. There were two words he didn't want together.
Peter the friend was okay, for a Fed. They laughed, they joked, and Peter knew that they didn't like the same things. He was the sportsman and Neal was the artist. And that was okay. And Peter the friend came with El. Like a matched set. El was an amazing woman, a great person to know. Plus, she was married to Peter so wasn't distracted by his charm. For some reason, she seemed to like him for him.
Peter the father, on the other hand, was a nightmare. Joking was awkward. They second-guessed everything they said. And Peter tried to get him to like the same things he did. He was a sportsman and he wanted Neal to be too.
Why else would he practically force him to play baseball?
As a son, Neal was a disappointment. He knew that. It didn't take a genius to see.
When he met up with both the Burkes, El had to carry the conversation. And, sometimes, he would catch her giving him these sad little looks.
He hated those looks. It reminded him of the looks the kids in school used to give him. The 'poor Neal doesn't have a father so be nice' looks. But, now, it was the 'poor Neal, he's such a disappointment to his father' look.
Even the people in the office seemed to notice. When Diana jokingly asked him what he had done now; he's ashamed to say, he blew up at her.
"Because it's always got to be my fault, doesn't it?" he yelled at her, "I didn't even do anything!" He hated the unspoken 'this time' that seemed to hang in the air.
He hated how all he could do was mutter an apology and go to get coffee. Neal Caffrey, conman and master thief, unable to even control his own simple emotions.
God, he was a mess. He had never hated himself so much before. And, never had he regretted the path his actions took. Until now.
Because Neal didn't fit. It was Peter and El, always had been and always will be. Their worlds consisted of each other and there was no room for anyone else. A third person pushed in would only destroy everything. He didn't want to destroy anything, but he didn't know how to stop it.
El didn't fit. Sure, she was Peter's wife but she wasn't an agent. She didn't understand the cops and robbers world her husband lived in every day. But Neal could.
Neal Caffrey, Peter's son. It felt weird to her, how this man who had turned up on the doorstep one day, the man she had become friends with, could be the son of her husband.
She had known that Peter had slept with other women before they met. They had shared stories about how they each lost their virginity, so she had known about Neal's mother. But, to have the evidence stare her in the face, it was scary. A constant reminder of how she couldn't know everything about her husband. Not really.
And then she would feel guilty for her own feelings, because she knew that Peter and Neal probably had it just as hard. No, harder. She wasn't the one who had a long-lost relative.
She was just the third wheel. It hurt. It really did. What did this mean for her relationship with Neal? Did Neal expect anything of her? She didn't know whether to act like his friend or his mother.
Step-mother. She was Neal's step-mother. It took days for her to realise that. Days of Neal avoiding their place like the plague.
Like always, she missed him when he was gone. But, when he was there was so awkward that sometimes she would rather miss him.
And there was the guilt again.
Sometimes, she thought it might be better just to talk to Neal alone. But, she was scared. It felt like a betrayal to her husband.
During the times when she would be alone at the house; Peter spent a lot more time at June's while trying to bond with his son, she would take out the family scrapbook and scan its colourful pages.
In the pages before the paternity test results, there were pictures and articles with Neal in them. Neal laughing with Peter, Neal at one of her events with one arm around her and the other around June with Peter mock-glaring in the distance, the articles from the time he was accused of stealing that diamond and a few pictures Jones and Diana had sent her of Neal doing something silly at work.
Now, El didn't fit. It was Peter and Neal, at work as partners and at home as father and son. She was the third wheel, left at the side and forgotten.
And then Peter got hit by a car.
It was during his and Neal's investigation into Pratt. When she received the call from Neal that Peter had been in an accident, El didn't know what to do or what to think.
She rushed to the hospital and found Neal in the lobby with Diana standing next to him.
"How is he?" she asked, turning from one to the other in search of answers.
"He'll be fine," Diana assured her, "you can go in and see him."
El opened the door and took in a deep breath at the sight of her husband in the bed. He was all banged up and pale, sleeping in a place that smelled of antiseptic and only had a bed for one.
She shut the door and turned to Neal. She motioned for him to follow her as she entered the room.
She said things and he said things. El knew what Peter's job was like; she knew that this could happen.
Knowing and seeing were two different things. This could not happen again.
She told Neal to lie. To lie to his father in order to protect her husband.
And he agreed. It was horrifying and elating at the same time.
When he left, she followed.
With the emotions from before rushing through her veins; or possibly she was just too tired and emotionally drained to really think about what she was saying, she asked;
"Neal, why are you doing this? You know that Sam; James, whatever, isn't your real father. Why are so intent on helping him take down Pratt?" Why are you letting Peter get hurt for some man you don't even know?
Neal froze.
Without turning around, without looking at her, he responded;
"Everyone thinks he is. Even Ellen believed James Bennett to be my father."
"And what do you think?"
He sounded as tired as she felt.
"I don't know. El, I've lived most of my life without a father. I had stories instead. Just stories, nothing else. And those stories, I don't know who they describe. I don't know what they tell me." A sigh. "But, Ellen left me that box. I owe it to her to at least find out what is in it. And I need to know," his voice trailed off.
"Need to know what?" El prompted in her best 'motherly' voice, one she didn't even realise she was using.
"I need to know if, it was me," he mumbled the last part so quietly that she almost didn't hear him. "If it was because of me that James turned to crime."
A surge of protectiveness sparked through El.
"Why would you think that?" she demanded to know.
"Because, what if the first crime he committed was forging my birth certificate? What if it led him down a path he couldn't come back from?"
"Then that's on him," El said, her voice firm. Neal turned around in order to contradict her, but she continued speaking before he could say a word. "Neal, no one told him to forge your birth certificate. He didn't even have to! But he did. And that's on him. It had nothing to do with you."
Neal stared at her for a moment before shaking his head.
"I can't believe that. But, don't worry, I won't involve Peter."
El watched Neal leave, suddenly feeling like she made a mistake. But, she pushed that feeling aside. El could only try and protect one person in her life and that person had to be her husband.
Neal needed to do this, but he wasn't going to put Peter in danger at the same time.
After Peter's car accident, things changed again. Things seemed to go back to normal. The banter between their favourite agent and conman was back and they worked on cases like the awkwardness before had never happened.
Except, Neal would sometimes head home alone. And Peter would have meetings in his office with just Jones or just Diana or Jones and Diana.
The office was left wondering if this was the aftermath of the bomb, or a warning of things to come.
Author note: I liked this universe too much to not add some more (and I noticed others did to). So, now you get a longer story and more of a look at how everyone's handling the change. Until the office finds out, point-of-view will mostly be from Neal, El and Peter. I plan to write one after the office finds out which covers the events of these and future chapters from Jones' and Diana's views (with some Mozzie). Chapters will probably continue be in this writing style, because I feel it fits the theme and story the best, especially since the time-frame has it running alongside season 4 episodes.
I'm not recounting episode events too much because very little has actually been changed. Since, other than those directly involved (and Hughes), no one knows about Peter being Neal's father and they're keeping it under wraps for now. Neal hasn't even told James that he knows about the forged birth certificate (possibly hoping that James will tell him himself).
Anyway, hoped you enjoyed! Feel free to send me prompts of things you would like to see, if I can't put it in the main story, then I might do some extras at the end.
Updates are whenever as I work on my NaNoWriMo this month.
