Disclaimer: As always, I do not own Artemis Fowl. If I did, Minerva would have died as soon as she met Artemis.

A/N: Wow! Thanks for the reviews!

Olynara Sedai: Yes! Another fangirl!

Rayne: Hope this is fast enough!

Getragen von der Flamme: What is "review withdrawl"? If you dislike short chapters skip this fic.

tvqueen64: Many thanks!

ArtyFowl3: Here you go!

cocoapuffaddict: Love your penname!

Anonymous: Awww! How cute!

farrari: Did you mean "ferrari" as in the car? Thanks for the review! I liked that part too!

And now, without further ado...another diary entry.

-crowd cheers-

The Diary of Artemis Fowl II

August 10/2006

Thursday 10:55p.m.

Fowl Manor

Diary,

My first day of school began with a very strange experience. As the teacher introduced me to the class, a brunette in the front row gave me the most amazed look I have ever seen on the face of a human. At lunch… One moment, I must pause to describe something. Their idea of a "social luncheon" is to see how many adolescents they can fit into a tiny room. Their idea of "fine cuisine" is a barely palatable mixture of an unidentifiable meat and a weak sauce served over burnt rice. When I complained to the server about how disgusting her food was, she merely told me to; "Bring my own bloody lunch if I wasn't happy."

I apologize. I got a tad carried away there. As I was saying before that mediocre imbecile pervaded my thoughts; I saw the girl again at lunch, only this time she spoke to my face. She interrupted my furious e-mail to Butler (detailing the horrid conditions in which I had found myself) by staring at me. I inquired into what was so interesting about my e-mail that she felt it necessary to stare at me. She simply squealed; "Oh my God! You even talk like you!" Then she ran away, leaving me very angry….and, though I am loathe to admit it, slightly confused. I have not yet been able to puzzle out her odd behavior. I must go and speak with Butler about this.

Later….

Obviously, Butler has no idea either. That girl most certainly did not have a "crush" on me. I cannot believe the nerve of Butler, lying so straightforwardly.

I must now explain why I did not explain the security ideas I mentioned earlier. If my enemies found this diary, they could break into my school and kill me. Sorry, a bit melodramatic.

I am going to retire. Or rather; listen to Holly rant endlessly about Trouble Kelp (something I am very loathe to do).

-Artemis Fowl The Second


A/N: One quick thing I forgot to add last time:NO FLAMES! Any flames I receive will go straight to the fireplace (or oven).

Thanks!