30th June
Private Entry visible to: John Watson, Sherlock Holmes

Me and Mrs Hudson had a clear-up of the flat today. It was a complete and utter tip. I mean, I've not felt like cleaning or cooking so the take-away boxes and beer cans are bad enough (I'm not drinking alone, I had Greg round!) but your last experiment had congealed and I figured I could do with that table back – even if it is scorched to hell – and it'd be nice to be rid of the decomposing body parts in the freezer.

So we had a complete blitz. All of the normal waste in the bin (I'm still doing the recycling, as much as you took the mick!) and your dodgy waste sent back to Bart's for Molly to dispose of via the proper channels. Sherlock, you had eyeballs, vials of blood, toes, fingers, a friggen foot and something that I don't even want to think about but looked suspiciously like semen in there. I mean, with food! Come on!

They're all gone, anyway. So if you do show up like some sort of mental Jesus then you'll have to find some more. And you'll probably have a hard job because Molly will give you such a slap if you turn up on the doorstep of Bart's all "hi, I'm back!" – she's said so!

And I did find the toenails that were growing some sort of fungus hidden on the windowsill, thank you very much. I mean, what the hell do you do with yourself when I'm out the flat?

Forget it, actually, I don't want to know.

Either way, it's tidy, it's dusted, I've had the windows open with the curtains pulled back and it looks a lot less gloomy in here. It even smells half decent. It took a lot of air freshener, but it does.

I've not touched your room though, don't worry. To be honest I'd fear for my life if I tried. You've probably set traps.

Either way it's the little things like that which help on a day to day level, but I still feel like I'd feel different if you were gone. It's like you're in my subconscious, just out of sight, lurking and waiting for the right opportunity to pounce.

God, and if someone said that to me in the surgery I'd have them straight to mental health with a schizophrenia test so I'm just going to shut up there. Knowing my luck, someone'll find out how to get in here and I'll have Mycroft battling to get me out of a padded cell.

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