A/N: Wow. Two chapters in the span of a week! I'm on a roll!

This chapter is dedicated to Kitsune Onna1, who inspired this chapter with her review.

The first e-mail is hers.


August 13/2006

Sunday 5:03 p.m.

Fowl Manor

Diary,

Why is there nothing to do today? I, who usually manage to contrive a full schedule actually have calendar days during which I have nothing to do! I would not even mind receiving another of those ridiculous e-mails. Perhaps Holly has something for me to do. Why on Earth did I give up criminality?

Later…

Be careful what you wish for. I just received another inane e-mail. I really must change my account. It says it is from someone who calls themselves; Kitsune Onna1.

I realize this is, like totally unreal and all and I really don't have any idea what I'm saying any more but oh well. oh! LOL, I don't got the latest book but I plan to soon, hey has any of that even happened yet? I wonder... Anyways, I gotta know, do you like yaoi? Are you gay? What do you plan on being when you grow up? Er,...That's kinda obvious isn't it? Anyways! I love yaoi! Hey, do you think I could e-mail Capitan Short? Or is she a civilian now? Damn! I gotta go.

Ja Ne, Arty-Poo!

-Kitsune Onna1

I am starting to become a little afraid of this organization. They keep asking if I am gay…

Oh, for goodness sakes! Another e-mail!

Later..

Now, I am very frightened.

Dearest Arty,

Hi! I'm your future wife. Our wedding is going to be soon, even though we are both WAY underage because the plot works that way! I was thinking three kids: Arty the Third, Liana, and Sarah. We'll live in a little house on the Cliffs of Moher(see below),only, we won't blow off, 'cause you'll invent something to stop that from happening to our babies.

Dreaming of you!

-Selene

I need more security! These people are insane!

-Artemis Fowl the Second


A/N: Review!

Cliffs of Moher- A breath-taking wall of cliffs in Ireland. It is very dangerous, because there are no handrails, and a drop into the rock-filled ocean below. I want to go there someday...