I'm so sorry about the long time between updates. Like always, things have been a bit crazy.

I hope you love this chapter as much as I do.

Enjoy :)

xxx

Control

Chapter 8 – Waking Up

xxx

"The next 24 hours will be crucial. There is still a chance Ziva won't make it but we are fairly positive she will be fine," the doctor said, before leaving.

Almost everyone became ecstatic. They were smiling and talking and laughing. Even Abby was crying, but this time out of joy. The only one who wasn't smiling was Tony.

"She won't be fine. Even if she survives, it will be a long time until she is fine. And that's even if she ever really becomes fine," Tony explained.

"Stop being so negative, Tony!" Abby said.

"No Abby," Gibbs said, "Tony's right. It will take a lot for Ziva to be fine."

The doctor came back and told the group that Ziva was awake. They decided that Tony should be the first to talk to her.

xxx

Tony walked into Ziva's hospital room. He stood by the window, looking out at the hospital's garden. It was pretty, peaceful and even happy. He was silent.

Ziva was lying in her hospital bed. She had drips in her arm and there were machines monitoring her every bodily function, her every move. She had bandages wrapped around both her arms, from her elbows to her wrists.

Even though she knew he was there she kept her eyes shut.

Tony started to speak, "I'm so sorry Ziva. If I hadn't said the nasty things that I did, this wouldn't have happened."

"No Tony, you are wrong. Eventually this would have happened. Even if it was a week from now or a year from now, it still would have happened. At least now I will be able to get better." Truthfully, Ziva had no intention of getting better. She would just leave hospital and go straight back to how everything was before.

"Can I lie down?" Tony asked.

Ziva nodded. They laid there silently for hours, until eventually they fell asleep.

xxx

It had been a week since Ziva had been admitted to hospital. She was never alone, with a member of her team always with her. It was mainly Tony that stayed with her but whenever he needed a break one of the others would take over. When she was told she needed to see a therapist she freaked out. But still the day came where she had her first counselling session.

Ziva walked into her therapist's office. The walls were a welcoming blue and there was an assortment of chairs and couches around the room. She also noticed that there was a box of tissues on a coffee table in the centre of the room. She sat down on a couch that was surprisingly comfortable and waited.

The door opened and a rather eccentric lady walked in. She was about 50, had wild brown, curly hair and was wearing thick, round glasses. She was also wearing tie-dyed long pants and a pink singlet. All Ziva could think was, why did the hospital hire this lady?

"Hey Ziva. My name is Georgia. Obviously I'm your counsellor," Georgia paused for a second. "How would you like to do this?"

"I would not like to do this," Ziva mumbled.

"Oh great, a stubborn one," Georgia sighed, "Well I suppose I could start."

She picked up a file and started to read, "Born in Israel. Sister, mother, brother have all been killed. Father is Director of Mossad, which is fairly impressive, but I'm guessing he never had much time for you unless it involved work. You worked for Mossad then NCIS, which are both fairly upsetting jobs. You see a lot of things that not many people can handle."

"Exactly! And if I can deal with that, then I can deal with this myself. I will be fine," said Ziva, trying to find a way to get out of counselling.

"You tried to kill yourself Ziva. You have a history of self-harming. You are severely underweight and have an eating disorder. You are not dealing with this. You obviously cannot deal with this, otherwise you wouldn't have tried to kill yourself," Georgia said, "I'm sorry I'm being so forward but it's the truth and, in order to get better, you need to hear it."

"You know nothing about me!" Ziva screamed, becoming confrontational.

"I know nothing about you?" Georgia said back, remaining calm. She picked up a notebook and started to read. "Started cutting at about 14 and smoking at 16. People found out and you stopped. Ari died and you came to NCIS. You felt like you didn't fit it. You started cutting again. You found the strength to stop. You also cut, but only once, when Gibbs was put into hospital and in a coma. You were kidnapped by terrorists and tortured. You came back to America and started cutting and smoking again. You also developed an eating disorder."

Ziva stared in shock. How did Georgia know those things?

"So I know nothing about you, huh?" Georgia asked, but she wasn't finished. "There is one other thing I know about you."

"Yes?"

"No matter how much you say you hate what you do, no matter how much you say you want to stop, I know the truth. In truth, you like the pain. You like it because you believe you deserve it."

Ziva was shocked. This lady knew so much! And not just about her past either; she even knew how Ziva felt! This made her realise that she did want to get better. She shouldn't have to feel like she deserved the pain.

"I think that is enough for today," Georgia said, handing Ziva a tissue. She didn't even realise she had been crying.

xxx

Ziva made her way back to her hospital room. She walked through the door and saw that Tony was sitting on her bed. It was then the realisation hit her. It was Tony! Tony had told Georgia everything!

"How could you?!" Ziva screamed. "How could you tell her everything? I trusted you and I let you in! And you just betrayed me! And for what?

Tony stayed calm, "I did it so you would get better. I knew it would take weeks, even months for you to trust her enough to tell her everything, so I did it for you."

"Why?!"

And then Tony kissed her. It was a slow, passionate and loving kiss. Ziva kissed him with back with just as much love.

"Because I want you to get better. I need you to get better! When I found out you had tried to kill yourself, I had no idea what to do! If you had died, I probably would have ended up dead too!

"I did it because I love you, Ziva. I have ever since the day I met you and I always will."

Ziva looked stunned. It took her a while but eventually she hugged him and said, "I love you too, Tony."

xxx

Again, sorry for the long time between updates.

I love all my readers who were patient enough to wait, thank you.

Only 4 chapters to go :)

Read and review.

xo