Some nights I wish that my lips could build a castle:
The next morning they woke up, got dressed, ate, and then left for Dean's football practice. Their punishment didn't end until dinner that night, so they still had the most part of the day to hang out. Dean didn't understand why, but the closer it came to dinner that night, the more upset he got.
It started during football practice that morning. Roll call had already occurred and they were in the middle of stretches. During the overhead arm pull, a stretch where you place your arm behind your head and then pull at the elbow with the other hand, he heard Gordon and Uriel whispering to each other.
"So what do you think is the deal with Winchester and that kid that's been following him?" Gordon asked.
Uriel gave a huff of annoyance. "Probably butt buddies, if anything."
"So you don't believe Winchester's story? The whole 'punishment' thing?"
The coach called out 'switch'. While switching arms, Uriel answered Gordon's question. "Hell no. Do you see the way they look at each other? I mean, I understand the punishment, babysitting a dweeb for a week and not having a life. But, no one looks at their charge unless it's with hate and disgust in their eyes." They both chuckled to each other as the exercise finished.
Before Dean could act on the rage that was slowly building inside him, coach told them to do laps. Sending a glare their way, Dean made his way around the field, mind busy, thinking in overtime.
What the hell did he mean 'do you see the way they look at each other?'?
Well, you do stare at Cas' eyes a lot.
Fuck you, I do not!
Oh, really?
Dean's eyes looked up and locked on blue. Even from a distance Dean could make out those blue eyes perfectly. He was surprised to see he was already running along the side with the bleachers. His legs were pumping and he was running faster than he normally did. By the time he got to the end of the lap, there was only one other person waiting. Gordon Walker, fastest on the team, was standing there drinking water when Dean arrived. A smug smirk formed on his face.
"What the hell is your problem?" Dean snapped upon seeing the smirk.
Gordon shrugged his shoulders and looked away. When Uriel jogged up, he and Gordon walked away and formed a little huddle of just the two of them until the team finished the lap. Every once and a while Dean would notice them looking his way or pointing up at the stands where Cas sat.
Once again, the coach cut Dean off before he was able to do anything.
"Ok, team," coach Armstrong began. "You're all doing great so far. Tomorrow we'll separate into two teams and do a practice scrimmage. But for now, let's run some drills."
They formed two lines. Dean, since he's the captain, was able to successfully separate Uriel and Gordon for the rest of the practice. After the drills and warm down stretches, the team was dismissed for the day.
Dean held back from the rest of the team, packing his bag slower, as he waited for Cas to come down from the bleachers. On the days where Dean didn't have work after practice, he would stay on the field longer and wait for Cas, then they would walk back to the Impala and head to Ellen's. Today was no different.
Except, Dean wasn't planning on Gordon and Uriel staying behind as well.
"Aw, Uriel. Look at the little lovebirds," Gordon said behind Dean's back. "Don't they look so cute together?" He sneered.
Dean's eyes narrowed as his body stiffened. Jaw clenched tight, his eyes found Cas'. Cas was the poster child of cool, calm, and collect. The only part of his body that gave any indignation that he heard the comment was the look of pure horror that found it's way to his eyes.
One night while they were getting ready for bed, Dean asked Cas about his sexuality. He found out that one of the reasons school was so hard for him was because of the torment he received from his classmates, fueled by the jocks' homophobic behavior. At his other school, if you were anything a jock hated, or if you disagreed with a jock on something, then you were tormented; which meant even those students who didn't care about Cas' sexuality tormented him in fear of being on the receiving end of it themselves.
That night, Dean agreed to help keep it hidden at Lawrence High. Cas did tell Jo and Ellen, and after some persuasion, he told Sam and Bobby. John is the only person in their immediate circle of family and friends that was kept in the dark.
Uriel huffed in response. "There is nothing cute about being someones' butt buddy, Gordon."
Dean grabbed his bag and turned around. He sent a sneer of his own towards his two teammates and grabbed Cas' arm to steer him toward the parking lot. Cas twisted away from Dean, successfully braking free of his grasp as he glared at the two jocks.
"Do you have a problem with me or something?" he growled out. It was authoritative; deep; a voice that demanded respect. There was anger in his eyes; pure, white hot anger. The look Cas gave him that night at dinner a week ago was love compared to this.
Dean looked at Gordon and Uriel, to register their reaction, as Cas continued. "Dean and I are friends. Nothing more than that," he said in the same voice. He took a step forward. "Don't let me find out." And another. "That you've given Dean problems." One last step and a narrow of the eyes. "Because I will make you regret it." Cas stood in front of the football players. Dean saw them physically shake, fear coursing through their bodies. Cas leaned his head in and whispered quietly. So quiet that Dean almost missed the next words. "Do. I. Make. Myself. Clear?"
Without waiting for an answer, Cas turned and walked away, grabbing Deans' arm in the process.
The car ride to Ellens' was quiet. The stereo was off, something Dean rarely did. Cas sat with arms and legs crossed, eyes focused out the window. Dean stared forward, hands gripped tightly around the steering wheel.
What the hell was that?
It would seem Cas got angry.
Yeah. But what the HELL was that?
Do I have to repeat myself?
Why would Cas -
"Dean." It was quiet, Dean almost didn't hear it.
"Yeah, Cas?" he asked with a quick look towards the passenger seat.
"I apologize. I got angry. I hope this does not affect your relationship with your team members."
"Cas, what the hell happened back there, man?"
He heard Cas take a deep breath. "I never told you why I had to come here, did I?"
Dean thought back to the previous week. "No. No one said anything. Jo, Sam, and I just know that you're staying for senior year."
From the corner of his eye, Dean saw Cas look his way before glaring out the window again. "I got expelled from my old school for beating someone up."
If it weren't a serious situation, Dean would have laughed. As it were, he couldn't prevent the slight twitch of his lip. He saw Cas' own lips twitch as well. "Not for nothing, Cas, but you don't seem that threatening. Though based on what I just witness, I see how you could, at least, make someone piss themselves."
"Yes, well." Cas had a satisfied smirk on his face before saying, "looks can be deceiving, Dean. Even gay people can kick ass every now and then."
"I didn't mean it like that, Cas," he said quietly.
"I know." He sighed. "It's just, people assume the worst of others just because they're different than you."
A few minutes passed by in silence again, not as uncomfortable as before, but there was still tension. Dean replayed the scene on repeat in his head. His eyes opened wide as realization hit. "Cas?"
"Yes, Dean?" He didn't look at Dean, just kept his eyes outside the window.
"Did you mean it?" he asked.
Cas sighed. "Mean what, Dean?"
"You know what I mean, Cas!"
Another few moments passed. Cas didn't answer his question.
Why the hell is it so hard to say a simple yes or no?
Why do you care so much?
No answer? Is it because you don't know, or are you too afraid to know?
I am NOT having a chick-flick moment with myself!
So, you do have feelings!
They were pulling into the driveway when Cas finally answered.
"Yes. I did mean it, Dean. I would say the same thing for Jo and Sam if the situation occurred."
"I know you would, man."
See! It's not just me. So stop making something out of nothing!
Maybe you want it to mean something.
As they walked into the house, though, Dean couldn't fight off the warm feeling in his stomach.
Jo was in the kitchen helping Ellen with dinner when the door bell rang. Dean and Cas was in the living room watching the pilot episode of Boy Meets World. Dean got up and answered the door, he was surprised to see Bobby and Sam on the other side. "Bobby? Sam? What are you two doing here?" he asked.
"Dad went to the bar and hasn't gone shopping since before your punishment began," Sam answered. "So I called Uncle Bobby to pick me up and Aunt Ellen said that we could come over for dinner."
Just then, Ellen walked into the hall. "Boys," she greeted. Sam ran towards her and gave her a hug; she kissed the top of his head. "How about you help Jo set the table, huh?" Sam nodded and ran off into the dining room.
"Hey, old man," she greeted Bobby.
"Ellen," he nodded his head.
"Dinner is almost ready. Tell Castiel to get cleaned up," she told Dean, as she and Bobby headed to the kitchen. Dean nodded and made his way back into the living room.
"Dinner's almost finished, Cas," he said when he sat down on the couch. Cas nodded his head. A few moments passed before Dean said, "Ok. I don't get it. I mean," he said at Cas' confused face, "I know he says, 'The tragedy is not about a dumb girl, or the boy who kills himself because of her. It's about the all-consuming power of love and the inevitability of its influence on each of our lives.', but what's the deal? Cory's right, he's only eleven! Why does he need to worry about love at such a young age?" he asked.
Cas sighed. "Is it just because he's eleven, or is it the concept that two people who just met, claim they are in love and are willing to die for it?"
Dean thought for a moment, then answered, "Both."
Before Cas could answer, Sam came into the room and told them dinner was ready. After washing up, they made their way to the dining room. Dinner was rather uneventful, and after dessert Bobby went home. Jo and Sam cleaned the table while Dean and Cas went back into the living room; the fourth episode of Boy Meets World was on. Dean soon found out that a half hour episode could turn into an hour long debate.
"They are totally meant for each other!" Jo nearly shouted.
"How can you tell that from one episode?" Dean asked.
"They wouldn't introduce a female character in this fashion if she wasn't going to be an important part of the show."
"Not helping, Cas!"
"It's still early in the season," Sam said. "Even though the fourth season is coming out in a few months, how do we know she's going to last?"
"Thank you, Sam. Yeah, how do we know she's going to last?"
"We don't, but their first encounter offers the allusion that they will eventually become a couple."
"How so?"
"Isn't it obvious, Dean?" Jo asked, to which Dean cocked an eyebrow.
Cas sighed. "Within the first minute of them talking Topanga grabbed his hand."
"So?"
"It indicates a physical relationship."
"No it doesn't! It just means she's weird!"
"What does being weird have to do with anything? Weird's not a bad thing, Dean."
"I never said that, Sam."
"To quote Feeny, 'strange is in the eye of the beholder.'"
"Shut up, Jo. Besides, that doesn't prove it's going to end up a physical relationship!"
"The first contact a person has with another could in fact indicate a physical relationship, Dean."
"How so?"
"Do you have to repeat that question every time you talk, Dean?"
"If it helps getting my point across, then, yes, Sam."
"Think of it this way, Dean," Jo began. "Go back to all the parties you've attended."
"Do we have to talk about my sex life?"
"If it helps getting the point across." Dean and Jo glared at each other for a moment. Jo continued. "Anyway. The first contact you make with someone is always kissing. Then, you move it up to a bedroom and take her from behind. That indicates a short term relationship, if any at all!"
Sam looked disgusted at the topic; Cas looked uncomfortable.
"And. So?"
"You've always stuck with the same routine! You've never switched up!" Dean looked away. "Oh. My. God!"
SHIT! Why did you look away?
Because you're an idiot!
"Why am I just now finding out?"
"Don't worry about it, Jo! Can we just get back to the show?"
"Fine. So there's that theory! The first physical contact between two people can indicate their type of relationship."
"Well, what about nonphysical contact? It can't just depend on the physical aspect of a relationship?"
Damn, Sammy. When did you get so smart?
"There's also the emotional part we witnessed in the episode."
"You want to enlighten the class, Cas?"
"Topanga understands that Cory tries to act like everyone else instead of who he really is. And, when he embarrasses himself, she still accepts him."
"Again. Weird!"
"She also kissed him and kept his baseball cap!"
"She could have stolen it from him! And, they were handcuffed together!"
"It could indicate that she'll be a great lay!" Jo said before being consumed in uncontrollable laughter.
"Fine! Whatever! You guys win!"
Soon after, Sam and Dean said their goodbyes and went home.
As Dean laid in bed, he couldn't help but miss the warmth and comfort that Cas provided. They did, after all, sleep in the same bed together for six nights straight.
The first night was a little uncomfortable. It wasn't that Dean was afraid to be near Cas, but after the 'coming out of the closet' reveal, Dean couldn't help but feel a little odd. Here he was, laying in bed with the guy he drunkenly slept with only two nights before; who just so happens to be gay.
The next night was a little easier. True to his word, Cas didn't try anything with Dean. They agreed to be friends, nothing else. Cas accepted Dean's view on the situation and didn't push any farther. It didn't, however, stop them from waking up the next morning with Dean's arm across Cas' stomach and Cas' head on Dean's shoulder. They just nervously laughed it off, saying it was 'due to the unconscious mind seeking comfort from a warm body', or whatever Cas had said.
The last four nights, they unconsciously got closer and closer on the bed, until last night, when Dean wrapped his arm around Cas. He realized that he did it. He remembers thinking that he would miss it. What he didn't realize is how much he would miss it.
As he laid in bed by himself that first night after the punishment ended, the warmth of Cas' body against his, the soothing sound of Cas' slow breathing, the rise and fall of his chest, and the pounding of his heart was all missed. He felt a gaping hole in his chest.
That first night sleeping alone, he had his nightmare again.
Dean woke from his sleep. His heart raced beneath his chest; breaths came fast and frantic; sweat piled on his brow.
Soft light filled the room as he looked towards his night stand; a groan slipped his lips at he took notice of the time. He got out of bed; it was too late to go back to sleep, but too early to get up on a Sunday morning. He opted for an early morning run to fill his time.
The rest of the week played out in much the same way. Every night he went to bed, the gaping hole feeling like it got bigger and bigger as time passed. The few football practices during the week were fairly uneventful. Gordon and Uriel kept any comments they had about Dean and Cas to themselves. Coach Armstrong notified everyone at the last practice that the cheerleaders were going to start practicing with them the following week, which earned appreciative cheers from everyone on the team.
Dean didn't necessarily avoid Ellens' house that week. He went to work and practices, and when he wasn't at either, he cleaned the house and went grocery shopping. With food in the fridge, they didn't have to worry about starving. When John wasn't at work, he was at the bar getting drunk. Some nights he would come home completely hammered; throwing up in the bathroom. Other nights, he just passed out in bed, or on the couch if he couldn't make it that far.
It wasn't until the Friday after the punishment ended, a whole two weeks after it started, that Dean noticed how not being around Cas affected him. He was in the dining room, eating a sandwich, when Sam entered.
"Dude. What's been you're problem this past week?" he asked.
"What do you mean?"
"You've been moping. Like, hardcore moping. What's wrong?"
"Nothing, Sam."
"I'm going to hate the fact that I asked this, but... do you need to get laid?"
Dean thought about it. The last time he did get laid was with Cas. "Yeah. You know what. I think I do."
Sam rolled his eyes. "Go out tonight. Have fun. And if by some miracle you end up bringing a girl home, try to keep it quiet, please? I don't want to hear anything."
Dean nodded his head. After he finished is food, he called Ash Linberg. Ash was the schools' honorary geek. The man could hack any system and his fake id's looked legit.
It only took two rings before Ask answered.
"Ash Linberg, how can I help you?"
"Yo, Ash. It's Dean Winchester. You busy today?"
"Winchester, my man! Congrats on making captain! I can always make time for the king of the school!" Dean made a face. He did not like the sound of being called 'king of the school'.
"I need a fake id. Going to aa out of town club tonight to celebrate. Haven't had the chance yet, what with work and practices."
"Yeah, man. Swing by in an hour. It'll only take a few minutes. Just need a picture of you."
"Aw. Ash. Stop. You're making me feel all tingly inside."
"Shut up, Winchester!" he chuckled. "Be here in an hour."
The phone went dead.
Dean found himself in line outside an unknown club later that night. The club in question was about an hour away from Lawrence; he wanted to by-pass any chance of running into someone from school.
The bouncer checked his id, then let him through. It wasn't exactly crowded, but there were enough people there that made the inside just that little bit too hot. He made his way to the bar; ordered a beer and a double of whiskey; and sat back, watching people dance and listened to the music.
God, I hate this music! What ever happened to the good music? The classics?
When he finished his beer, he ordered another and two more double shots. A half hour later, he looked at his watch, and noticed how late it was. He was just about to head home, when a very drunk voice next to him ordered a drink.
He turned towards the voice. The girl was rather attractive; she had short, dark brown, almost black hair, evenly parted in the middle; and clear blue eyes.
A warning sensation shot through the back of his mind, but he was too drunk to pay attention to it. The girl received her shot, a double of tequila, and turned towards Dean, meeting his eyes.
"Heeeeeeeeyyy," she slurred. She grabbed the glass and downed it. He wasn't as far gone as he originally thought, because a 'Yeah, she's drunk,' rang through his head right before she said, "Iii'm Te... Tes... Tessa."
Notes:
I apologize now if this chapter is complete crap. It took me the better half of fifteen hours to write this. The next chapter, however, I should have up fairly soon. It shouldn't take me more than two hours.
