I hesitate for a second before I push the front door of my house open. As I expected, the smell of nauseating expensive perfume filled the air. I scrunch up my nose, and go forward while the three boys following closely. The house is now full with boxes of different sizes; I have no doubt that it's filled with useless decoration.
We make our way to the main room, "Well, it has to be extra special this year! She only turns 16 once!" A high pitched voice of a woman says excitedly with thick Capitol accent. There, in the middle of the room sits Effie Trinket, the former escort, in all her glory.
"We only turns every age once, Effie" Mom says as patiently as she can to the gold haired woman.
"Oh, I already prepare everything for her. Everything should be perfect for my dear Celeste!" She sighs happily
"What exactly is your theme this year?" I ask casually, but it comes out colder than what I meant
Effie squirm happily and run to hug me; she doesn't seem to notice my cold tone. While mom gives me a warning look, the Capitol woman hugs me tightly, before letting me go. She sniffs, with her eyes red I can tell she is trying her hardest to not to cry. "I can't believe my little Mockingjay is turning sixteen!" I smile a little to Effie, her words almost makes me regret my action before.
"So… please tell me your theme doesn't involve pink?" Troy speaks up for the first time while trying to open one of the boxes. I couldn't help but chuckle about my last birthday theme. For last year Effie's theme is pink; my least favorite color. My dress, the decoration, even the food have to scream pink. Everyone who comes must wear at least one thing that smells pink. Effie who is in charge for the Mellarks' and Hawthornes' costume made the twins wears neon pink pants which they can't denied and wear it the whole night.
"Well, the theme of the year is to honor the Mockingjay, is…" She says every word slowly, making it dramatic. "Golden Mockingjay" She says while exhaling proudly and spreading her hands for effect "Katniss' pin—her symbol— was golden, and in the Quarter Quell Haymitch, Katniss, Peeta and I were a team. We each have something that smells gold. So it will be perfect to make it the theme of the year." She smiles to my mother.
Golden Mockingjay. In honor of the Mockingjay. In honor to my mother. Really? Even my 16th birthday?
One more day before my birthday, and somehow I am not really excited anymore. Today Effie will show me the dress I would wear tomorrow. She is a little bit too excited to show me the dress. I sleepily rub my eyes with the back of my hand and yawn, before finally giving up to my bed. I know Effie will come sooner or later, I know, but five-minute of more sleep is tempting, and getting the best of me. The darkness drags me further, and further, and…
"Wake up almost birthday girl! We have a big, big day today!" The high-pitched voice of Effie screams as the door violently burst open. I open one eye to see my lovely gold haired woman standing in my room. She pulls my hand, throw my blankets away, and usher me to the bathroom. After taking a bath that is longer than necessary I came out of the bathroom. And the first thing I noticed is the Golden dress, that shines when it hit the light. Every piece looks like a feather made of gold put together to make a dress. It's floor length with arm-sized wings on the back. Just then Effie walks in; beaming. "What are you waiting for? Go on try it!" and she helps me wear the dress.
"It's a mockingjay?" I touch the dress. I was surprised to found the golden feather is made of threads, when I expect it to be made of metal.
"A Golden Mockingjay. It's exactly like your mother's in the interview night, only this one is gold." She corrects me and zips the zipper under my armpit.
"Why would I be a mockingjay?"
"You look just like your mother." She says dreamily and ignores my question
"Oh My God you look absolutely beautiful!" A familiar girly voice shrieks from the door, behind her stand Finn and Trevor. I couldn't help but notice the strange expression that Trevor's wear.
Sierra walks in to my room and circles me; taking a close looks on the dress "You both are not supposed to see her yet!" Effie exclaimed making her ways toward the boys, and slams the door in front of their faces.
"It's not like I'm getting married, Effie. So why should I be a Mockingjay again?"
"Because of your mother of course!" She says as if it was obvious. And I suddenly hate this dress. "Her wedding dress turns in to a Mockingjay at the Quarter Quell interview night. You know, golden, her symbol. Golden Mockingjay!" And it took everything for me to mot to rip this dress. "You look just like her"
"Oh. Can we take this dress off now? I'm hungry" My voice betrays me.
After my late breakfast I plan to spend the whole day sitting in the Meadow, mourning maybe? I know it sounded foolish but all I ever wanted was to be free from her name. For somebody finally recognize me as me, and see me only as me. And I am pretty damn well sure after my birthday no one will ever stop talking about it.
A light tap wake me from my thought "you look beautiful in that dress" Trevor says taking seat beside me. "What are you doing?"
"Thinking?"
He sighs patiently "About what?"
"Stuff" Once again I answer shortly. He gave me a look. "Okay, okay. It's about that stupid theme!"
"Why?"
"You know, it's supposed to be me. It's my birthday" I huff and continue, "I just don't like all the idea about me being like my mom"
"Oh" And that's all the response that he can give me. He doesn't understand. No one does.
Except maybe for one certain person.
Trevor doesn't ask me again after that. And we spent the rest of the day in a comfortable and sometime awkward silent. He kept glancing; open his mouth and force it shut. I try not to notice, but it's getting hard when he keeps staring at me absent-mindedly
"I give you The New Mockingjay!" Caesar's voice booms as someone push me. I was about to scowl the person, when I realize I am in the middle of the stage. All lights and eyes are locked on me. I was confused for a second when I realize for the first time what I wear. It's a beautiful floor-length dress made of feather, or more exactly the mockingjay feather. Black, grey, and white with arm-sized wings closed behind my back; just like the gold one. I'm a mockingjay.
And I look up
The crowd applause and shout like a maniac to me; like I'm some kind of caged animal for display. I see people with electric blue hair, with tattoos everywhere, nauseating orange skin, weird dresses and suits. And they all are cheering at me; screaming my mom's name: Katniss Everdeen. I was about to scream that I am not her, I am not my other when I look at the TV. I can see myself there, looking confused. And I notice my eyes. It's not my usual blue eyes,
It's grey.
I don't know what wakes me first, the dream I just had or the hysterical scream of someone. The person keep screaming and screaming, and I realize the source of the voice is coming from the room next to mine. I step out of my room just to see someone's silhouette entering the guest room; Annie's room. The screaming finally stops when I reach Annie's door. The door is not close, so I can perfectly see whatever happens inside the room even in the dim light.
In the bed sits Annie with hair sticking out of the place, she is sweating, and her eyes are wild with fear. I never really see her like this. I know my parent say Annie can be un-stable sometimes, but I never really imagine she can be like this. Sure, she can be a little lost or zoned out sometime, other than that she look composed. And beside her sits Finn, holding a glass of water and shooting calm word to her mother.
I feel bad for seeing this. They both share an unbreakable strong bond. So I waited outside, for after 5 minutes I decided to go back to my room. "I'm sorry my mother wakes you up, she can be a little un-stable sometimes" Finn apologizes as he gently close Annie's door
"Oh it's okay. I just worry about her." I say while waving my hand
We both decided that we can't go back to sleep so we go to the family room.
"I'm going to make some drink do you want some?" I ask as I go to the kitchen
"No thanks"
"Okay"
"Yeah"
It is awkward without someone to start a conversation for us. After making my drink we walk back to the family room, we sit near the fireplace; dad must be working late. Just then, I catch a glimpse of gold reflecting the light from the fire in the corner of the room. I glance at the corner of the room only to see the golden dress; Effie must have moved it here.
He follows my gaze. He scratched the back of his head nervously, "You don't really seems happy about your birthday"
"It's fine really" I dismiss it quickly
"Aren't you tired to be compared to your mom all the time?"
"What about you? Aren't you?" I redirect the question to him without answering myself.
"So why don't you just say it to Effie?" He asks changing it to me
"Why don't you stop acting like him?" I turn my gaze towards him
"Why do you pretend to enjoy something you don't?"
I take me by surprise, "What do you mean?"
"Hunting. Why do you pretend to like hunting?"
"Trevor" I say quietly
"Just tell me, I know better than that" He looks deep in to my eyes
"I guess I want to show them I can be like her, I can be as strong as her, but at the same time, I don't want to be like her. Just forget it, you don't understand"
"In matter of fact, I do understand." He smiles softly
"What about you? Aren't you sick of being compared to your father?"
"Honestly? I am"
"So then why act like him? Why be him?"
"Because I had tried to show it, but they just don't see it. It's confusing you know, when you are compared to you dead father; I don't know what he is like so I can't avoid what he's like. So after a few years I just gave up and gave them what they want." He explains it like it's nothing, but that nothing is everything in his eyes when I look at him. "My turn," He smiles "So why are you agreeing to this?" He motioned his hand towards the dress
"I don't know" I mumble quietly. "I don't want my mother to feel bad or mad at me because I don't like to be compared to her. But some part of me just wanted to rip that dress apart,"
"Why?"
"Because I don't want to be recognized as her" I raise my voice "I don't want to be her." I quickly change my voice to no more than a whisper; aware of the fact that ever body is still sleeping "Effie and her stupid ideas! She even suggests that I wear an eye contact to make my eyes grey!"
He laughs quietly and makes his way towards the dress and takes it off of the mannequin. "So you don't like this like this right?"
I nod eyeing him suspiciously,
"Shame. You look really nice in this," He walks and carrying the dress to the fire. "Can I do the honor?"
"What are you doing? Effie will be crazy!" I look at him with wide eyes
"Well if you don't like it you just have to show it" He says and tosses the dress to the roaring fire. We watched as the dress slowly burn. And I cannot help myself from smiling
"Even when I only met you for a couple of day, you should know that we are more alike than you think; I know how it feels. But I don't want you to make the same thing like me; finally giving up and forget who I really am. I see something in you; I see something different and special about you." With that he walks away without even giving me so much of a second glance
I look at the roaring fire again; the dress is now no more than ashes. As I walk to my room, I can't help but smile as I keep repeating his words in my head; I see something different and special about you.
Hey Guys! So sorry for not updating for 2 weeks. Final Exam :(... But thank God it's over...
I know this chapter is a little bit of rush and all, so... if you are confused JUST ASK via review or PM... If you have any question for the character just ask them! okay?
Hope you enjoy it! Don't forget to REVIEW!
