Whispers of What We Were

Chapter 11

"You didn't kill him did you?" Tara asked. The last thing she wanted was for Jax to go to jail for killing a Federal Agent.

"Should I have?" Jax challenged. "Tell me what he did to you? He gave you that black eye Abel was talking about didn't he? Did he hurt our kids?"

"Jax! Slow down." Tara led Jax over to the couch and sat down next to him. "He never hurt Emily or Abel."

"But Emily knows about it." He stated.

"Yeah. I think she overheard me talking to the police about my restraining order. He's using the firearm investigation to get to me. He can override the RO because it interferes with the investigation."

"That's bullshit. Can he do that? What the hell happened Tara?" Jax asked, not really sure if he wanted the entire answer.

"I met him at the hospital in Chicago. He was so nice and we starting seeing each other. He was great with the kids too."

Jax hung his head. It hurt to know that for a time, there was another man in his children's life.

"One day he saw my tattoo and freaked out. He started asking me about you and SAMCRO. I tried to calm him down and he slapped me." Tara saw fury fill Jax's eyes. "I left and I never called him again but he kept calling... As if everything was fine and nothing had happened."

Jax stayed quiet, urging Tara to continue.

"He found out we were still married and he got so mad. He started leaving me threatening voicemails. That's when I got the restraining order."

Tara started to shake and Jax pulled her closer to him. "I need to know Tara... Please."

"After the restraining order went through, I didn't hear from him... Things went back to normal." Tara sighed heavily. "Then I found out I was pregnant... I don't know how it happened but I couldn't keep it." She started crying. "He found out about the abortion and he came to the apartment; thank god Em and Abel weren't home. He barged in screaming at me about killing our child and how we were meant to be together. I told him it was over, that it wasn't a child and that's when he punched me.

Jax held her tighter and let her gather her thoughts.

Tara wiped the tears from her eyes, gaining minimal strength wrapped in Jax's embrace. "I blacked out. When I woke up he was gone. The next day I called Opie and told him we were coming home."

Jax stayed silent, processing Tara's story. He should have killed Agent Kohn; not just his rental car. This man had hurt his wife. The wife that he had let walk away from him; the wife he didn't follow.

"I'm so sorry Jax... I never meant for this to come into the club the way it has. I never wanted to get you in trouble."

"Yes you did." Jax muttered.

Tara pulled out of his embrace. "What?"

"Tara, you're back in Charming because you knew I would do something about this. I would do something the cops couldn't. Am I right?"

"No Jax..." She started; but she had to be honest with herself. It was exactly why she came back. "Maybe I did. I don't really know. All I knew was that I have to keep Emily and Abel safe. They were no longer safe in Chicago. I honestly didn't think he would follow me here." Tara started to cry again. "I'm so sorry Jax. I should never have left..." She finally admitted.

"What?"

"Oh Jax. I was so scared after Abel was shot. I wasn't thinking clearly and I bolted. I thought about coming back to you so many times but time just kept passing and it got harder and harder to make up my mind."

"You took my kids away Tara."

"I know. It was stupid. I was stupid. I left the one place where I felt the safest and look what happened?"

Jax turned away from her. He couldn't believe what she was saying.

Tara sniffled. He wouldn't even look at her. She knew revealing her mistakes who make him hate her. "Jax... I'm not going to leave Charming again, and I understand if you don't want anything to do with me..."

Jax looked back at her, stunned. "You really don't get it do you Tara?"

"Get what?"

"You leaving was both of our mistakes. One big horrible mistake. Maybe you shouldn't have left or maybe I should have followed you. But Tara... I never stopped loving you."

Now it was Tara's turn to be stunned. After all this time, those feeling still raged on inside of them. "What about all the 'dirty skanks'?" Tara had to be sure.

"I'll be honest with you Tara. I slept with my fair share of crow eaters over the last four years. I was a wreck. I couldn't get you out of my head and it was driving me crazy. I missed you so much I just needed... contact." He admitted.

She smiled slightly. She had hurt Jax, and she felt awful. "I missed you too Jax. And deep down I never stopped loving you."

She leaned into him slowly. Jax leaned in as well, tentatively brushing his lips against Tara's softly. Both moaned into the kiss, having it feel better than either imagined.

Jax, without hesitation pushed Tara down on the sofa and got on top of her. "I love you Tara." Jax said between kisses. She tasted so good.

"Say it again." She whispered, wrapping her arms around Jax's neck. Everything about this was so familiar. He smelled so good.

Jax smiled, "You first." He played as his lips trailed down her neck; a neck he had missed terribly.

"I love you Jax."

"I love you too."

KNOCK KNOCK.

Startled, both looked towards the front door.

"Who the hell is that?" Jax asked.

Tara looked at the clock on the wall. "Shit! It's your mother with Emily and Abel. She said she'd drop them off around five." Tara pushed Jax off of her and he landed with a thud on the floor. "Sorry."

"S'ok. I'm having weird teenage flashbacks. When your dad would come home."

"Shut up." Tara got up and tried to fix her hair. Good thing she didn't wear makeup because it would be all over her face.

"You want me to tell her to take the kids one more night? We still have some things to work out here Tara." Jax said seriously. He knew that their talk wasn't completely over. They still needed to figure out what to do with Kohn.

"No. I haven't seen them in two days. I miss them." Tara went for the door. "Hey guys!" She greeted happily. She looked behind her to make sure Jax had gotten himself up off the floor. Emily and Abel rushed in to their mother. "I missed you guys." She said, holding them tight to her.

"We missed you too Mom." Emily answered. "Dad? What are you doing here?"

Jax walked to the door. "Had to help your mom with something." He answered, semi-truthfully. She then stared at his gobsmacked mother.

Gemma couldn't believe her eyes. She saw Jax's messed up hair and Tara's twisted shirt. She smiled. She turned to Tara. "They were great, as always Tara."

Tara smiled at Gemma. She knew Gemma was perceptive and was glad she wasn't prodding; although she was expecting it soon. "Thanks Gemma."

"Anytime. And I'll see you guys at the house tomorrow."

"We'll be there." And with that Gemma walked back to her car. She wanted Jax and Tara to have family time, something they hadn't had together in four years.

"Daddy... Are you staying for dinner?" Abel asked.

Jax looked to Tara. "Don't leave. Stay" She mouthed to him.

"Of course bud. I'll stay for dinner."

END CHAPTER.

A/N: You all asked for it so here it is. It wasn't exactly how in envisioned it but I think it still came out pretty good. There are still a lot of loose ends for Tara and Jax. They may have made out but they are far from figuring their shit out.

Just a heads up... I don't know how often i'll be able to post after this. My Statistics class will be kicking my ass as I get close to 2nd midterm, final project and Final Exam!

Reviews are love!