Whispers of What We Were

Chapter 12

Tara could not believe how relieved she felt after telling Jax about Josh. More so, she could not believe what had transpired on the couch. Making out with Jax on the couch like a horny teenager was like riding a bike. A very delicious bike.

She knew that they still had to deal with Josh, and they still had a lot to talk work out regarding their relationship. They couldn't just say 'I love you' and expect things to go back to normal. Sure they were married and love each other but they had been apart for four years and they had each hurt the other immensely. It would be so easy for them to just pick up where they left off but it would be unfair to Emily and Abel. Tara had to make sure her and Jax were fully committed to each other again before ever thinking about picking up where they left off.

Tara shook her head. She really was not in her right mind to be thinking about her future with Jax. She was exhausted before her and Jax had picked her up; now she was just running on fumes.

She smiled as she watched Emily and Abel run around the backyard with Jax. She had to admit, she missed the house she used to share with Jax. The backyard there had a swing set and a tree house Jax had a couple of prospects put up. It was a home; their home and she missed it.

The doorbell rang and it startled Tara. Jax had heard it and came running inside; his hand poised and ready to pull out his gun.

"Jax, it's probably the pizza guy."

"Not taking any chances. You wait here with the kids. I'll get the door."

Tara nodded and sure enough a couple of minutes later, Jax came into the kitchen with the pizza they had ordered. "Em! Abel! Dinner!" Tara called outside, and then turned to Jax. "Hide that gun." She whispered to him.

Jax nodded and moved his kutte. He knew how Tara had always felt about guns, be he assumed now, with the threat of Josh lurking around, she'd be a little more lenient. Normally she would make him lock it up in a drawer.

SOASOASOASOA

Fourteen Years Ago.

Jax took Tara to their favorite park just outside of Charming. It was completely secluded and with a little luck, Jax thought he could get a little lucky with his girl. It was summer time and while he had every intention of spending time with Tara, but being a full SAMCRO member had cut down on that valuable time. He had just gotten back from a two day run in Nevada and couldn't wait to get her alone.

He had packed up some food for them and now, having finished, were quietly reading under a large, shady tree. "Whatcha reading?" Jax asked Tara, getting bored with the book he was reading. Tara held hers up. "The Jungle huh?" He made his way over to her and lay down beside her. "That book almost turned me vegan." Jax laughed. Sure he was a biker, but he loved to read and he loved that Tara and he could discuss literature on the same level.

"This may sound wrong but it has me craving a big steak."

Jax took this opportunity to moves things along. He grabbed Tara's hand and moved it to his crotch. "I got a porterhouse for you right here babe." He teased.

Tara turned to face him, "you are all class Teller." She joked, although not removing her hand.

Jax took this as a good sign and leaned in to kiss his girlfriend. "I've missed you Tara." He said, kissing her fully on the lips.

"Me too." Tara responded, kissing him back, letting her mouth open so she could feel his tongue caressing hers.

Without breaking contact, Jax moved so he could get on top of Tara. He ran his hands down her sides, grazing her breasts and finally coming to rest at the bottom of her shirt.

"Here?" She asked, breathless.

"Just us carnivores." He answered, coyly.

Tara smiled and let Jax begin to unbutton her shirt. She ran her hands down his hard chest and around to his sides then she found something hard above his waist. "Jax? What's this?"

Jax sighed. "Umm." He reached down and pulled out his gun, showing Tara. She gasped. "Clay got it for me."

"A gun? What the hell do you need a gun for?"

"Club business Tara." He answered truthfully. He took this time to get off of Tara. She was pissed and most likely wouldn't put out now.

"You're sixteen years old Jax! It's illegal for you to have a gun."

"Clay trusts me with it. I've been shooting guns since I was nine."

"Clay trusts that you will be put in a position that might get you killed."

"Tara, it's not like that. You know what SAMCRO does. A sixteen year old carrying a gun when we run guns is hardly out of the ordinary."

Tara sighed. She did know that the Sons of Anarchy ran guns up and down the West Coast. Jax had always been honest with her. "I just didn't think you'd need one. I don't like the thought of you getting hurt while you're out there."

"We need it for protection. Nothing has gone wrong yet but you never know. We have to be prepared."

"I still don't like it."

"I know. But now that I'm SAMCRO, I feel a lot safer having it around."

Tara nodded, staring at the gun. "Can you at least put it somewhere else when I'm trying to feel up my boyfriend so I don't accidentally shoot us?"

Jax laughed. "The safety is on but yes, I will move it so you can feel me up." He took off his kutte and went to put the gun and kutte by his bike. "Now, where were we?"

"I believe you were about to serve me a Porterhouse Teller."

SOASOASOASOA

"Mom, can Dad stay and watch a movie with us?" Emily asked eager to spend more time with both parents at the same time.

Tara looked at Jax who nodded. There was no way he was leaving while Kohn was out there and there was nothing he wanted to do more than spend time with his family. "Sure. Let Abel picked the movie because you picked last time. And put on your PJ's first because you're going to be right after. We have a big day tomorrow."

"Ok." Emily said as her and Abel got up from the table to pick out a movie.

"I'll make some popcorn." Tara said, getting up and clearing the plates.

"I just got to make a quick call." Jax said, getting up and stepping outside.

"David Hale."

"Hale. It's Jax Teller."

"I have to say I'm surprised to be hearing from you Teller."

"Yeah I know. I'm surprised too. But I need your help."

"Ok." He answered skeptically. "With what?"

"That ATF agent that's been lurking around? He's not here for SAMCRO. He's here for Tara."

"What?"

Jax knew of the soft spot David Hale had for his Old Lady and he used to hate it, but now, he had to use it to his advantage. "He's stalking her. It's a long story but can you just dig around a little? Maybe ATF didn't even send him here at all. Tara has a restraining order against him."

"Yeah, ok. I'll see what I can find out."

"Thanks." Jax hung up the phone and went back inside, eager to see his family.

"Everything ok?" Tara asked as she placed popcorn into a couple of bowls.

"Perfect." He answered, heading into the living room with Tara. Emily had already turned out the lights and put the movie in.

"Abel picked 'Despicable Me'" Emily said, sitting on the floor next to her brother as the movie started.

Not to arouse any suspicion from his kids, Jax sat on the lounge chair and let Tara rest on the couch.

By the end of the movie, Tara was fast asleep on the couch. Jax knew how tired she has been at three. Now at eleven, she probably could barely keep her eyes open.

"Hey Em. Abel." He whispered. "Go get ready for bed."

"Ok Daddy."

Jax got up from the arm chair and stretched out before walking over to where Tara was, taking in the luxury of watching her sleep for a few moments. He leaned in and carefully picked her up easily. It had been a while since he had done this but he knew Tara easily weighed a good fifteen pounds less than she had four years ago. Tara slept like a rock and she was tired, an earthquake would not wake her.

He carried her to the bedroom and put her down, covering her with the sheets. He longed to get in next to her. To wrap his arms around her but didn't. They weren't ready for this yet.

After watching her for a bit longer he left the room to get Emily and Abel to bed. When every member of his family was settled, he went back into the living room and settled on the couch for the night.

END CHAPTER

A/N: Ok, ok... I know that I said I wouldn't be able to update for a while but this flew out of me and I had to get it out... Hope you enjoy.

Also, the scene at the park is obviously from 2-03... Which is one of my favorite Tara/Jax episodes EVER! Because... well you know why! Haha.