Chapter 9

Do or Die

Disclaimer- Not mine.

"Sit."

Lily obeyed McGonagall's order and took a seat on the other side of her desk. "I am completely outraged! You know that is no way to act towards a classmate."

Lily calmly looked at McGonagall as she continued, "If you have a conflict, you are to come to me or another Professor and we will take care of it, you know that. You're a Prefect you should be setting a good example."

"So are you going to take away my badge?" Lily asked.

"No that would be impossible. The trouble I'd have to go through to get that badge away from you..." She said, mumbling the following part. "Especially with Slughorn around..." Her eyes darted to the round man standing by the doorway. Slughorn had followed the two in here mostly out of curiosity for the fate of his favorite student.

Lily nodded, "Then sorry if this sounds rude Professor but I honestly don't care if what I did was wrong."

McGonagall pursed her lips and looked as though she would snap at her student but Lily continued, "I did what I did and I can't change that. Not to mention, he deserved everything he got so I don't feel any remorse about it. So punish me in whatever way you want, but it's not going to change my mind."

McGonagall frowned. She knew there wasn't changing Lily Evan's mind on anything. She was a very determined young lady. "Very well but you should know, whether you think it is right or not, if you ever do it again there's a greater change of you being expelled..."

Lily rolled her eyes at this comment. If only she could have counted how many times McGonagall said that to her throughout her five years at Hogwarts. This, after all, not being the first time she got into a fight.

"Yes Professor."

"Then I'm forced to give you a weeks worth of detentions and fifty points from Gryffindor."

Lily nodded, "And what about Connor?"

At this, Slughorn let out a loud belly laugh which made both women look over at him questioningly. "Lily, my girl, do you really think he needs more of a punishment than what you gave him?"

Lily smiled at this thought though McGonagall looked displeased. "Horace please."

"Right, sorry." Slughorn said, winking at Lily.

Lily turned back to the Transfiguration teacher. "Professor Sprout will deal with Connor after he visits the hospital wing."

Lily nodded, "Is that all then?"

"Yes, you may go now and Lily please stay out of trouble." McGonagall said though she knew it wouldn't do much good.

"Yes Professor." Lily said walking passed Slughorn towards the door.

She held her breath hoping Slughorn would neither say anything to her or follow her out the door. Unfortunately for her, he did both.

"That was quite a show you put on there Miss Evans." Slughorn said.

Lily wasn't sure what reply he was looking for so she merely nodded and said, "Right, I suppose it was."

"Mighty temper you've got there." He continued. "You would have done well in Slytherin."

"Yes, you've told me that before Professor."

"And I mean it!" The professor continued. "But you'll still need to learn some self control. Don't want you being expelled or anything."

"Well that makes two of us with a self control issue." Lily cheekily stated staring pointedly at Slughorn's stomach wondering how much food he'd have to shove in his mouth to become that large.

Slughorn chuckled getting the hint. "I suppose I probably should control myself and not eat as much as I do. But my weight isn't going to get me kicked out of this school is it?" He said not the least bit insulted by her comment. He admired her far to much to be angry with her.

"I guess..." Lily said reaching the main staircase. She spotted her friends at the first landing and waved up to them.

"Oy, I suppose you'll have to be going then." Slughorn said noticing the other 5th years.

"Yes I've got some homework to finish up." She lied.

"Oh! Before I forget, I'm having a Slug Club party at my office this Friday night. And you can bring a date if you'd like." Slughorn said.

"Splendid..." Lily said less than enthusiastic. Slughorn's party would be fun; there was always music and good food but Slughorn had a tendency to drag Lily around introducing her to people as if she were a trophy.

"'Till next time then." Slughorn said, saluting.

"Bye." Lilyreplied climbing the stairs to join the Marauders and Julia.

James smiled as he saw Lily walking up to them. "I must say Evans, that was perfectly brilliant; what you did to Connor."

"Do you know they had to conjure a stretcher because he couldn't even stand up?" Sirius asked excitedly.

Lily shook her head, trying not to grin. After all, should an injured someone really be something to smile about...? "No I didn't, McGonagall took me away too fast."

"He's never going to live that down." Julia said licking a cherry flavored lollipop.

"Well I'm certainly not going to let him forget it..." Sirius said.

"So how much trouble did you get in?" Remus asked. He was always more concerned about the consequences...

"A weeks detention and 50 points from Gryffindor."

"Ha! Pay up Black!" Julia said extending a hand out to him.

"Damn woman." Sirius said giving her a handful of galleons. "I thought for sure it'd be two weeks."

"Betting again?" Lily asked Sirius and Julia.

"Yup. I sucker him into it every time..." Julia said, putting the money into her pocket.

"Yeah when was the last time you won a bet Padfoot?" James asked him.

"Shove off Potter." He replied jokingly.

"He's never won a bet I don't think." Lily said.

"Sure I have..." Sirius said.

"When?" Julia asked popping the lollipop out of her mouth.

"Er...Oh. I bet you that James could get Erica to go out with him." Sirius said and Julia rolled her eyes.

"I let you win."

"No way." Sirius said not believing her.

"Yes because I would never think that James couldn't get a girl to go out with him."

James exchanged glances with Lily and shrugged. "We're going to have to send both of you to a gambling counselor." Remus piped in with a roll of his eyes.

"Say Sirius," Lily said changing the subject. "Did you hear about Slug Club party on Friday?"

Sirius nodded, "Yeah Slughorn told me in the hall yesterday."

"Are you going?" She asked.

"Probably."

"I hate Slug Club..." James said.

"That's just because you're not in it." Lily pointed out with a roll of her eyes.

"It's just stupid though. I mean why's Sirius in it and not me?" He asked jokingly.

"Hey..." Sirius said.

"Because of Sirius's parents." Lily replied matter-of-factly.

"Then what about you?" James stubbornly asked her. "Your parents are Muggles."

"Oh drop it James. Slughorn idolizes Lily." Julia said grinning.

"Slughorn practically bows down to Lily when she enters the room, of course she's in Slug Club." Remus said.

"All because she's good at Potions..." James said, shaking his head.

Lily rolled her eyes, "Jealousy is not a positive characteristic." She mocked.

"Scram Evans." He replied, jokingly shoving her.

Lily poked her tongue out at him. "Come on Potter admit it. You want to be in Slug Club."

"Do not." James said stubbornly.

"Yes you do."

"Not." James interrupted.

"Yes huh. You're jealous that I'm in Slug Club and you're not because you always want to be better than me." Lily said which was partly true. James did always want to exceed Lily. It was that ongoing competition the two had.

"I do not want to be in Slug Club. It's for preppy prats." He said sticking his tongue out at her.

"Hey now." Sirius interjected.

"Preppy prats expect for Sirius." James added.

Lily put her hand over her ears and sang, "James wants to be in Slug Club!" She teased.

James chuckled and poked her in the side. "Keep quiet Evans."

Lily squirmed away from his hands but he continued poking her. "Okay, okay..." She said, taking hold of his hands so he couldn't jab his finger into her side anymore. "Just say it James." She said pouting.

"But I don't."

"Stubborn mull." She replied jokingly.

James raised an eyebrow at her and opened his mouth to say something but Julia bet him to it. "You might want to listen to her. You saw what she did to Connor because he wouldn't take back what he said."

James chuckled, "Alright Evans, it might be nice to be in Slug Club. Happy?" He asked.

Lily smiled, "Very." She let go of his hands and continued to walk down the corridor.

Sirius chuckled, "James you backed out awfully fast when you remembered that Lily could kick your arse." He joked.

James laughed, "No I backed out when I remembered she could psychotically kick my arse." He replied.

"You are rather crazed Lils." Sirius replied. "I mean you could have just knocked Connor out but you did it the cruel, painful way."

Lily sighed. "I hate you both." She joked with a grin as she mumbled the password to the Fat Lady.

"No you don't Evans." James said throwing an arm around her.

"Mmm..." She said, mocking that she was thinking about that comment. "Yes I do."

"Well that's okay because I don't like you much anyways." James said jokingly, taking his arm off of her and stepping pointedly away from her.

Lily pouted, "Fine I'll go to my dorm all by myself." Lily said walking towards the stairs.

James chuckled knowing she wasn't really hurt by his comment. "Okay bye then."

Lily waved behind her and James walked up to the girls' dorm stairs to attempt to figure out how to get up there.

"Oh Juls can I talk to you for a second?" Sirius asked when she headed over to the couches with Remus and Peter.

"Yeah sure." She replied turning around to face him.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go steady with me." Sirius asked making Julia's stomach flip.

"Well there's not beating around the bush with you eh?"

"Nah, I believe in a more direct approach." Sirius replied with a wink.

Julia chuckled, "Yeah I'd like that."

"So you'll go with me to Slughorn's party?"

"Of course."

Sirius grinned, "Score."

"Score?" Julia asked raising an eyebrow at him. "Like, 'Score I got another girl to go out with me'?"

Sirius shook his head. "No, 'Score I got the most beautiful amazing girl in the universe to go out with me." He said with a genuine smile.

Again, Julia's stomach summer-salted. "I'm a sucker for flattery." She said sweetly smiling up at him.

Sirius chuckled, "I know." He said and leaned down to kiss her.

"Lily! LILY!" James yelled up to the girl's dorm from the common room. "You're missing it!"

Lily opened the door to the girls' dorm. "What Potter?" Lily asked looking down the balcony at him.

"They're kissing." Hewhispered pointing to Sirius and Julia both of which had turned their attention to James.

"James you dolt, leave them alone." Lily said though she sat down on the balcony to watch them. "Go ahead. Ignore us." Lily said to Julia and Sirius.

Sirius chuckled and turned back to Julia. "What children." He joked.

Julia grinned, "Should we give them what they want to see?"

Sirius looked at Lily and James; who were giving him the thumbs up. "Yes." He said with a smile and leaned down to kiss her, this time without any interruption.

Sirius's mouth clamped down over Julia's. Sirius had a way of making a aggressive, harsh kiss be the perfect kiss. Julia was utterly lost when Sirius's lips hit hers. She was lost and absorbed in every sensation she felt from Sirius's hand on her lower back making her hair stand on end to the sweet smell of his cologne. She felt her knees go weak and nearly collasped in Sirius's arms.

It didn't last more than a few seconds and they broke apart. "I give that a ten!" Lily said smiling.

"Eh, 7 and a half." James said grinning just as wide.

Remus rolled his eyes at the four of them and took a seat at the table by the fireplace to finish his Transfiguration homework. A girl sitting there turned her attention from James and Lily to Remus. "I bet life doesn't get boring with them around eh?" She asked.

Remus chuckled, "Sure doesn't but sometimes I wish it would." He said in a joking manner.

"How come?" The girl asked, her big blue eyes focusing on Remus.

He shrugged, "Well let's just say it's not easy staying out of trouble with them around." He said with a small smile.

The girl chuckled, "Yeah I heard that Lily beat up Connor this morning."

Remus nodded, "She sure did."

"Hey, but I suppose it's got to be better than sitting around the common room all day doing homework like I have." She said.

Remus shrugged, "Yeah but sometimes it's nice to just relax for a change."

"And homework is relaxing?" She asked.

"Well you know what I mean." Remus replied.

"I'm Oliva Miller by the way." The blonde girl introduced extending a hand over the table to Remus.

"I'm Re-."

"Remus Lupin, I know." Olivia interrupted as they took hands.

"Nice to meet you." Remus said politely.

"Same to you."

"So are you a 6th year?" Remus asked flipping open his Transfiguration book.

"4th."

Remus looked up from his work at her. Even though she was small for her age, she had a face of an a sixteen year old or perhaps even older. "Really?"

"Really really." She replied with a smile.

"You don't look it." Remus said dipping his quill in the ink bottle.

Olivia smile widened. "Thanks."

On the other side of the common room, James stood at the bottom of the girls' dorm stairs looking up at them trying to figure out how he could get up them. Lily had just reentered her common after Sirius and Julia had broke apart.

"Don't you have better things to worry about that how to get up these stairs?" Sirius asked him.

"Like what?" James asked half listening to Sirius.

"Like how you're going to tell Lily you're in love with her." Sirius suggested taking a seat on an armchair.

"Yeah how are you going to do that?" Julia asked.

James shrugged, "Do you think he used a charm to get up there?"

"James focus." Julia said. "How are you going to tell her?"

James sighed, "I don't know yet."

"Well I'd start figuring it out because if you don't get a move on it, another guy will." Sirius said.

"It had to be a charm..." James said squatting down next to the stairs to think.

Julia sat down on the arm of Sirius's chair and sighed. "James why don't you just climb up the balcony or something?" She suggested.

"Tried it."

"Did you try flying up there on a broom?"

"Tried it."

"Well can't you figure it out later? This is important." Julia asked.

James turned to her, "What?"

"Are you going to tell her or what?" Julia asked impatiently.

"I already said I would."

"When?" Julia persisted.

"So...Many...Questions." James said turning back to the stairs.

Sirius chuckled, "Come on James. As your friends, we are not going to let you chicken out on this. We are going to force you to tell her."

"I will. I promise I'll tell her, just give me a chance." James said.

Julia looked over at Sirius, "Do we believe that?"

Sirius frowned, "For now we can believe it."

"Or maybe it was a potion..." James said with a frustrated sigh figuring there were probably very little potions that could make you seem as though you were the opposite sex.

"Wanna go for a walk?" Sirius asked Julia.

Julia nodded, "We're going for a walk James. Try not to burn out your brain." She teased.

"Going for a walk eh?" Lily asked walking down the stairs from her dorm.

"Yes Evans walking." Sirius replied.

"Just walking?" Lily continued.

Sirius grinned mischievously, "Goodbye Lily."

With that, Sirius and Julia left the common room hand in hand.

Lily turned to James and sighed, "You're still at that?"

"Yes and I'm going to figure it out..." James said staring at the stairs hopelessly.

"Well good luck with that." Lily said with a shrug as she slid her hands into her back pockets of her jeans.

James looked up at Lily from the ground where he was sitting. "Can I talk to you?"

"Aren't we talking now?" Lily asked.

James shrugged, "Yeah but I mean seriously talk."

Lily frowned and sat down next to him. "Something wrong?"

"Er, well-." James began. He took a deep breath. So much was riding on what he was about to tell her and he had to do it right. "Not really wrong I'd say."

"Alright then go ahead." Lily said, her green eyes studying him curiously.

James had never froze up in front of a girl in his entire life. Not even a little bit ever. But there was something about the way Lily was looking at him that made his heart flip and him enter a sort of trance. A trance where he was lost in her beauty from her freckle covered nose to her green eyes to her gorgeous red hair.

"I-uh...I..." James stuttered.

Lily frowned and put a hand to his forehead. "Are you okay?" Lily asked. In all the years she had known James, he had never acted like this.

James nodded and blinked his eyes trying to pull himself together. But he didn't want to say it, he didn't want to tell her. What he wanted, though completely impossible, was for Lily to just know and no one having to tell her.

"Yeah. I'm fine, just lost my train of thought."

Lily nodded not believing him. "You were saying?"

James ran a hand through his black hair making it a even more of a mess than it already was. "You see for a while now I've sort of well..."

"Well what?" Lily asked after a couple of seconds of silence.

"I've sort of, had this...thing for you?" He said lamely.

"Thing?" Lily asked. "What kind of thing? Like a present?" She asked oblivious.

"What? No, not like a present. A thing like a crush. You know I like you. But like you like you. Like a huge major crush. In fact, Lily I think love you." He blurted out.

Lily's brow furrowed as her eyes scanned his face; her expression remaining rather blank and unreadable.

James held his breath, waiting for her response; The response that would let him know if he'd just wasted five years of his life thinking he could have a girl he couldn't. Or a response that would make him the happiest man alive.

Lily blinked slightly confused. "Wait you have a crush on me?" She asked, the meaning of the words he spoke absorbing into her.

"Yes Lily."

Lily's lips cracked into a smile and she chuckled. "Well get over it lover boy." She said, shoving him playfully in the shoulder.

There were a lot of things James suspected Lily would say or do when he finally told her. He thought she might be angry as heck and pound him into the ground. Or, he thought, she might just deny him any relationship at all. On the other hand, she might have felt the same way as he did and leap into his arms. But this was not a reaction he anticipated.

"Huh?" James asked dumbfounded.

Lily tilted her head to the side and gave him a 'come-on-let's-be-serious' kind of look.

"No really." James said still confused.

Lily sighed and explained, "Come on Potter. This is a school-boy crush it'll pass." She dismissed.

James shook his head, "No Lils, I don't think it is."

Lily rolled her eyes, "Come on remember in third year when I had a crush on..." She sighed deciding whether to bring this topic up again. "A crush on Sirius?"

James nodded and Lily continued, "Well if I had gone out with him, we would have broken up. Then none of us would be friends because chances are that when we broke up, we wouldn't like each other anymore."

"But that's not necessarily true." James pointed out.

"But it's most probable." Lily replied.

"Besides this isn't a school-boy crush."

Lily frowned, "Come on James, yes it is."

James shook his head, "Is not."

Lily sighed, "I'm not going to argue with you."

"Lily do you like me?"

"Yes James, you're my best friend."

"You know what I mean." James said.

"No kidding, I just answered your question." Lily replied. "I like you as a best friend."

"So I'm just a best friend?"

"Just a best friend? It takes a lot to be a best friend. I don't think that needs a 'just' before it."

James nodded and looked to the floor, "So you won't go out with me."

"No."

James sighed and felt a crushing feeling in his stomach. He had never been rejected by a girl, much less the girl of his dreams, and wasn't liking a second of it.

"But why couldn't we just go out once?"

"Because James, why would you want to chance what we already have?" She asked.

"Sirius and Julia are."

Lily groaned, "I knew you were going to say that." She said. "It's because...they're just different. I don't know James."

James studied Lily as she ran her finger along the carpet pushing around the fuzz that came up from it. "No they're not..."

Lily eyed James wearyingly. "Yes they are because they both like each other."

James leaned against the banister and sighed, "Please Lily, just one date." He begged.

"No James." Lily said standing up.

"Just one."

"I said no."

"But what's wrong with me?" James asked standing up too. "Why am I not good enough?"

"I didn't say that."

"You implied it."

"James you're plenty good enough but you're my best friend."

"So what? We could make it more."

"No we can't."

"Lily please."

"No." She said in a final way but James just ignored her.

"We could move slowly so you could get used to the idea." He suggested.

"Not going to happen."

"But-." He began but was cut off.

Lily put a finger over his mouth. "Stop." She said quietly and he obeyed. Lily looked deep into his hazel eyes. "James, I don't mean to be harsh or anything but I-."

"But you are being harsh. Really harsh." James said frowning.

"Shh..." Lily said and again he fell silent. "I don't mean it James but the honest truth is I don't think it would work. And James, I would be so devastated if something happened between us, I really would." She said biting her bottom lip and continuing. "I don't know what I'd do with myself if for some reasons we broke up and I lost you completely."

James wanted to blurt out an argument to everything she had just said but he kept his jaw clenched, forcing himself to listen. "And I know you're going to say that there is no guarantee that things won't work out but it might not."

Lily removed her finger from his lips and waited him to answer. He looked down at Lily and quite frankly felt like dropping to his knees and begging her. "But what if we go to Slughorn's party together. Like as a date."

Lily shook her head. "No James." She backed away feeling light headed, like this wasn't happening. "I'm going to go to my dorm now James."

"Lily wait, don't go." James begged but Lily started up the stairs.

"Talk to you later." She said as cheerfully as she could like nothing had just happened.

James groaned as he watched her ascend the stairs to her dorm. He frowned and plopped down on the black leather armchair across from the staircase.

He was miserable.

But he wasn't going to give up on her.


A/N - Awwww! Poor James :(. Denied. This chapter is slightly depressing but in the 5th book, that's kind of how they act towards each other.

Anyway thank you to all of my reviewers! I love you all still! Also, if you check my Profile, I have my blog link there so I can let you know where I am with the next chapter.

Well I hoped you all liked this chapter...Say who is this Olivia Remus just met eh? Ha ha we'll have to find out ;)

Thanks again

Review please.

Kaitlynn