Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author's Note: Trust is hard to build sometimes. We all know that. Can Nuada teach Ella to trust him even with his history and the heartbreaking reactions she has to her own memories? You'll have to keep reading and find out. Hope you enjoy. Feel free to sign in and review. Also keep in mind that learning to trust someone is different for everyone depending on their own past and how they had to learn in the first place. No calling Nuada a jerk for this.
Ch5. Learning to Trust
Ella had just finished cleaning the throne room and was gathering the cleaning supplies together to return to her room. Actually it was Nuada's room. Last night he'd explained that the room the goblin has let her live in was originally his. Not wanting conflict she yielded the bed to him. Once she was pretty sure he was asleep she curled up in the corner for the night. She heard his footsteps behind her and picked up the water bucket.
It happened too fast for her to think. She was fine one second and then his hand was on her shoulder. The ghost of a memory flashed in her mind and suddenly she felt like she was in danger. She wasn't sure why but she still reacted defensively. Turning fast she lashed out at him and made to escape. The next thing she knew she was on all fours pouncing around in the dark until she found herself a corner and made herself as small as she could to hide.
Nuada stared in stunned shock at Ella, the small Siamese cat, now hiding against one of the pillars by the wall. He touched his face and saw blood on his fingers when he pulled his hand back. She'd scratched him with her claws in mid-transformation. Knowing full well that she would lash out if he showed any sign of hostility he took a deep calming breath and wiped his hand on his shirt before approaching her.
"Ella," She heard him call her gently and the scent of jasmine drew slowly closer, "It's okay little witch. I'm not going to harm you. I just want to talk," she let out a small fearful meow, "Come on out little kitty. You're safe. I want to help you," stretching out her neck a little her nose bumped his finger and he scratched behind the ears to coax her out.
Tentatively she came out and he pet her for a few minutes until she was purring. He picked her up gently and she hissed, batting at his face with her paw as a sign that she wanted to be put down. He continued petting her until she settled in his arms, putting fearfully. It wasn't until he was almost back to his room with her that she returned to her human form, clinging to him like a young child being carried by a parent. He continued to stroke her hair softly as she sobbed on his shoulder.
He sat down on his bed with her still in his arms. She soon settled and relaxed in his arms. Instead of clinging to him she was now resting against him. Her breathing was beginning to slow, "Hey, don't fall asleep yet. I want to talk to you."
"I don't want to talk right now," she mumbled.
"Then just shake your head yes or no. That doesn't require you to talk," she nodded that she was listening, "Did you remember something back there," she considered it for a moment and shook her head no, "Was it a distant memory? Like you recall a strong urge or emotion but not the cause," she nodded, "Were you scared," she nodded, "Were you aware that I was the one behind you," another nod, "Did you understand, at least in theory, that I was not trying to hurt you," she whimpered and nodded again, "You need to learn to trust me."
She stirred uncomfortably in his arms, "Did I hurt you?"
"It's just a scratch," he moved her hand to show her the gashes she'd left on his face.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, "Are you mad at me?"
"I was but I understand that trust takes time and effort to build," he raked his fingers through her hair.
"Are…are you going to punish me," she asked fearfully.
"I think that would take us a step back in your learning to trust me," he concluded.
She didn't want to lie and say she agreed. Some part of her felt that she could learn to trust him as both friend and master by letting him chastise her when she did something wrong, "I trust your judgment my Lord. If the thought of losing my trust is your only reason mot to punish me then do not spare me the rod."
He gave her a surprised look that he soon remembered she couldn't see, "So soon after meeting, I don't think it's best for our friendship."
She gave an amused huff, "I won't begrudge you for it. Besides how can a servant learn to trust a master that doesn't enforce his own rules."
"I don't recall making any actual rules for you yet and you've thus far obeyed my orders," he reasoned.
"Some rules don't need to be told until they're already broken. I attacked you needlessly. I showed lack of trust and disrespect my Lord. The general attitude a servant should have towards her master is a matter of common sense but on occasion needs to be reinforced," she corrected.
"You get points for honesty," he wouldn't have realized this without her telling him, "Since you are a sorceress I think I'll stick with the discipline techniques used by your ancestors."
"What are you going to do," she asked.
He sighed and continued stroking her hair, holing to keep her calm, "I'm going to take you over my knee," he waited for her to pull away but she only snuggled closer to him.
"Okay,: she said resisting the urge to go back to her cat form.
Nuala rushed to her brother's room as fast as she could. She had been in the library reading when a drop of blood fell on her book. Without checking to see what it was she knew it had something to do with her brother. She froze at the sight of her brother sitting in a dining chair with Ella over his lap.
"Brother no," she reached out a hand to signal him to stop.
"She understands why she is being punished and as you can see she is not struggling," she stated plainly.
She turned away as he began the punishment. She knew her brother could be harsh but as long as Ella wasn't outwardly protecting she couldn't really do much about it. Still she wasn't comfortable with hearing the girl cry in pain. She closed her eyes when the sound of the slaps ceased. She looked at her brother in surprise when she heard him trying to comfort his distressed servant rather than finding an object to continue the punishment that would be more painful than his hand as she had thought he would. He had pulled Ella up to sit on his lap and was rocking her gently.
"It's alright. It's over," he stroked her hair to calm her, "Did I hurt you too bad?"
She shook her head, "No my Lord."
"I hope you learned your lesson," he was beginning to seem uncharacteristically gentle in tone and behavior in Nuala's opinion.
She nodded, tightening her grip on his shirt, "Yes my Lord. I'll be more careful next time."
"That's good. We don't need anyone else getting hurt little Ella," he tried rubbing her back to help her relax when she tensed as soon as he finished talking.
"Is she alright," Nuala asked, alarmed by the fact that the girl looked like she was in shock.
"She's fine. If I'm paying attention properly she does this when a solid memory hits," Nuala answered, seemingly unaffected by the tension in the girl's muscles but his sister could feel his panic. He hoped he was right but he feared he was wrong.
Her body relaxed suddenly and she took a deep breath, "My teacher…he used to punish me like that too. He comforted me. I trusted him. He was never too harsh. He always waited to punish me until after his anger faded. He taught me to learn to trust my superiors by accepting discipline for misbehavior," she was trembling.
"Are we alright then? No hard feelings," he held her tighter.
She nodded, "Yes my Lord. We're alright," she turned her face against his chest, comforted by his closeness and warmth, "I'm tired."
He nodded in understanding and rubbed her back some more, "You can sleep soon but we need to eat dinner first. Are you hungry?"
She nodded, "Yes my Lord."
He stood and handed her over to Nuala while he took the pillow from his bed and put it on Ella's chair. He went over to the fire to get the girl a bowl of food.
"I hope you're not a vegetarian. It's chili con carne," he set the bowl on front of her.
She smiled and took a bite, "Thank you my Lord."
He sighed in slight irritation, "Do not talk with food in your mouth. It's rude."
She swallowed quickly, "I'm sorry my Lord. I seem to have forgotten my manners…that is assuming I ever learned them to begin with."
"Don't worry. I will ensure that you learn them," he reached out to move her arms so that her elbows no longer rested on the surface of the table, "Elbows off the table and you're welcome. I'm glad you like it. I made it myself."
She finished her next bite before speaking, "It's very good my Lord."
He smiled, "Thank you," she continued eating so at least he knew she trusted him to cook.
"Ella," they said when they finished eating.
"Yes my Lord," she stretched and yawned.
"I don't want you to sleep on the floor again. It's winter. You're going to get sick doing that," he began gathering up the dishes to make them easier for her to clean tomorrow.
"I have no bed. Where else am I supposed to sleep," she asked.
"Mine is right there and I don't mind sharing with a friend," he pulled her out of her seat and retrieved his pillow. When he turned around and saw the look of fear on her eyes he realized what that must have sounded like to her, "I didn't mean it like that. We are only going to sleep. If you want we won't even come in contact with each other. You face one wall and I'll face the other."
She nodded and retrieved her nightclothes so she could change in the wash room. When she returned he led her back to the bed to lay down. As he promised there was no touching. She was well on her way to trusting him completely.
TBC…
AN: Hoping to see reviews but keep in mind if you don't like this story just don't read it. I write what I want to write. I take constructive criticism at arms length. I'll try anything once but if it doesn't feel right to me I won't post it.
