Chapter 16
Eternity
Disclaimer- Not mine.
"Wanna get that Lils?" James asked Lily, after hearing the soft twinkle of the doorbell. The group was sitting in the den of James's house.
"No." Lily replied, not moving from where she was standing.
"Come on your closer." James said.
"Just do it yourself." She was watching James and Remus cautiously construct a card castle with steady hands.
He was too preoccupied with leaning a card up against the side of the castle to care who was at the door so he opened his mouth to object but Julia said,
"I'll get it." She stood up from the comfy blue armchair and made her way over to the door.
Again the doorbell rang and then again. "I'm coming!" She hurried across the hall, her bare feet pattering on the parquet floor. She grabbed the brass latch and pulled open the door.
Julia's mouth dropped, recognizing the man standing at the doorway. "Tom?"
"Julia! I was so worried about you." He let out a sigh of relief. "Why did you lie to me about coming here?"
Before Julia could reply, the answer was made apparent. "Who is it?" Sirius asked, peering around the corner of the parlor door. He swore under his breath.
"What is he doing here!" Tom asked, clearly enraged.
"Why can't he be here?" Julia challenged.
Tom frowned, "I can't believe it. We are going home!"
"I'm not going anywhere." Julia insisted.
"Oh yes you are." He said, tugging on her arm and leading her towards the door.
Julia wrenched her arm away from him, "Get out of here Tom. I'm not a baby, I don't need you watching over me all of the time.
"You told me you were going to the Evans'."
"So?"
"So! You lied to me! Do you have any idea how scared I was when I called the Evans and found out you weren't there?"
"Why were you calling the Evans?"
"Seeing if you were doing okay."
Julia sighed, "Tom, you really need to let me grow up."
"Why should you get independence when you can't even tell me the truth?"
"Why should you be the one who decides if I get independence?" Julia's voice was strong and powerful yet calm and even at the same time.
"Because I'm your older brother and I am in charge of you." His face reddened as his glanced past Julia with frustrated brown eyes to see Sirius was still watching them
Julia shook her head, "Did it ever once cross your mind that I might just be a hell of a lot safer here than at our dingy cramped apartment. There are no shady characters walking around outside this house and there are-."
"You're not safer as long as he's here." He said, motioning to Sirius.
Julia turned to Sirius who was watching the two with a concerned expression. "I know this is hard for you, Tom. But please, just trust me."
"I'm sorry Juls but you're leaving. Get Lily too. Here parents want her home as well."
The summer passed all to short for the friends and soon, the prospect of a new school year rolled around and all Hogwarts students assembled to King's Cross on September 1st.
Lily had been extremely overwhelmed with the events that unfolded at James' house. Julia had confessed that both of her parents had died when she was young. Lily couldn't help but feel pure hatred towards Death Eater. This only kindled her wanting to become an auror.
But what possibly overwhelmed her more was her date with James.
Fear wasn't something Lily let bother her all that often. After all, she was a Gryffindor and knew that you couldn't let fear mess with you. One had to overcome it and move on by finding a solution to overpower that fear.
But Lily had never known the kind of fear she felt towards James.
She had always been skeptical about the idea of finding that one perfect person and spending your entire life with them. It just didn't seem like something she could do. And she was afraid that she wouldn't ever be able to do that, and that is why she didn't want any romantic relationship with James; because she was afraid she wouldn't be able to keep the love for him for eternity and have to break his heart. She knew she couldn't live with herself if she did that to James.
And it was that fear that kept her in the bathroom of her dorm, sitting on the ledge of the tub, starring at the five sickles in her hand instead of going down to the common room to see James.
Part of her wished that he had never given her the money or that she had never gone on the date. Why'd he think he could change what Lily had done for so many years?
But at the same time, it was the fact that James did do something that no guy had ever even thought to do for Lily before that made her become increasingly attracted to him.
"Damn this…" Lily mumbled, deciding to try her best to ignore the raging conflict battling inside her. But naturally, that didn't work. How could it when she carried around at least one of those five sickles everywhere she went; each time she reached into her pocket the cold metal acted as a reminder of what he had done and how she felt for him.
Lily heard the door to her dorm click shut. She frowned and walked out of the bathroom, sliding the sickles into her pocket.
"Hello?" She asked, as she entered her empty dorm. "Anyone in here?"
No one answered her so she took a step farther into the room to search for the source that had shut the door. Her eyes caught something red resting on her nightstand.
"Oh my God." Lily said, her mouth dropping as she saw a glass vase with five roses in it. She made her way over to them in revere of their beauty.
Lily picked up the letter sitting next to them to read whom they were from, though of course, she already knew who sent them…
I wanted to get you a rose for every year I'll love you. But of course they don't grow that many flowers, Lily.
So instead, a rose for every year I've loved you.
Yours for Eternity,
James
Lily's knees gave way as she sat down on the bed, holding the note with shaky hands. Her breathing grew deep as she read the note over and over again, each time the same word delivering a shock as it did the first time she read it.
Eternity.
Eternity, forever, as long as they both lived and then even more was how much James loved her. But Lily couldn't comprehend that. She didn't understand the meaning of forever. She didn't know what forever was, or how long forever lasts but then again no one really does.
All she understood and knew, was that she couldn't take much more of this from James. It was making her sick, making her not want to leave her room until the year was over. James made her want to leave Hogwarts and go back to Muggle school just so she wouldn't have to know this fear.
Lily panicked. She just wanted out of this; an easy way to ignore what was going on inside her. But she knew there wasn't such thing as an easy way out of anything. So in her panic, her stubbornness and her fear, she did the only thing she could think of.
Lily grabbed the vase of roses and left her dorm in search of the messy, black haired boy that had given them to her. She immediately found him sitting at a table by the fireplace.
Lily set down the roses in front of him, "I can't take this anymore James." Lily said, choking on her words. "I-." She sighed and looked down at his hurt and confused face. His hazel eyes pouted, because he knew what she was going say. "I'm sorry." Lily said, before turning to leave the common room.
James looked at the roses and turned to face the departing redhead. "What is that suppose to mean? You're sorry?"
Lily stopped and turned her head towards him. "James, honestly, I can't take this anymore. This whole situation makes me sick to my stomach and I just want you to stop." Lily said. "So please, just leave me alone." She quietly spoke before leaving James.
James starred at the closed door, not wanting to look at his friends who were sitting next to him with looks of pity plastered on their worried faces.
James never understood what Lily was thinking. He was generally good at reading between the lines of other people and figuring out the way they really felt but Lily was different.
Like Lily, James wanted this whole thing to be over with too. He knew a part of Lily wanted to be with James and as much as she tried to hide it, she couldn't. And that is what made James continue to chase after her. He was going to give it his all to make that tiny part of Lily that wanted James to turn into a big part of Lily that needed James.
But at the same time, was it worth sacrificing their friendship for it?
Yes. He thought. He knew the answer was yes because he knew things would fall into place in the end and everything would work out. It was just getting the things to fall into place that was hard.
"Hey Mate?" Sirius said next to James.
James turned to him and waited for him to continue. Sirius spoke troubled, "Maybe, she's-." He said. "Well I know you're not going to like what I'm going to say but maybe she's just not right for you James."
James looked from Sirius to the roses on the table. "Yes she is." James replied.
"And how do you know?" Sirius continued.
"She just is! Alright?" James said angrily, as he stood up from his table and left the common room to search for Lily.
It didn't take James a long time to spot Lily with her vibrant red hair, not to mention the fact the corridor was nearly deserted.
"Lily wait!" James hurried down the corridor but she started running away from him. "Lily let me talk to you."
Lily refused to speak. Her breath was caught in her throat like a thick knot in a long rope coil.
"Lily!" James said, resting two solid hands on her shoulders. Lily was forced to stop by his gentle force. He carefully turned her around to face him.
"Let go of me." Lily hissed, trying to wring her way out of James' grasp.
"You can't run. We really need to talk." James didn't loosen his hold on her as she continued to push, pull and tug against his force.
"No we don't." Lily's emerald eyes swelled with glassy tears. "I can't do this James!"
"What has gotten into you?" He asked calmly. He gripped her tighter and pulled her towards him to keep her from running again.
"Leave me alone!" James only pulled her closer to himself, planning never to let her go.
"Stop Lils." Lily gave one final attempt to break free but her knees gave way as the crushing reality hit her that she wasn't going to be able to get out of this one. She felt a year of swelling fear and guilt and love hit her hard as she collapsed into his arms.
He'll love me for eternity. She thought before bursting into uncontrollable sobs.
"Oh my God," He mumbled. He wrapped Lily into a hug but was at a complete loss of what to do when she burst out into tears. "Lils," He pulled away from her a little to get her to look at him but she avoided his gaze by burying her face in his shirt. She was too ashamed to look him in the eye.
He gently took her chin and raised her face to look at him but she turned her head, in another silent protest not to look at him.
"Is this because the roses? I'm sorry I didn't realize they would bother you this much. I mean most girls I give them to don't burst out into tears." He teased, in an unsuccessful attempt to lighten the mood.
"James," Lily choked, a steady stream of tears pouring down her freckled face. "You would do anything for me?"
"Of course."
"Then, why won't you leave me alone?" Her bottom lip quivered as she turned to look him in the eyes, getting her courage back.
James sighed, "Because I love you and I'm going to do anything in my power to get you to realize that you love me too."
"Just find a new girl." She insisted.
"Why should I stop trying to get you to realize how much I love?"
Lily pouted and pulled away from James. She plopped down on a stone step of the spiral staircase. Burying her face in her hands, she spoke almost inaudibly. "Because it's working."
"What?" He sat down slowly next to her, wondering if he was hearing things.
"You're begging, pleading, whining and bribery worked James."
"What do you mean worked?"
Lily sighed and turned to stare into his hazel eyes, "I love you James."
It was like James was in a thoughtless state. What did she just say? She loves whom?
An overpowering force was responsible for what Lily did next. This force swept through Lily as she felt herself lean forward. If was if there was a hand on her back pushing her towards James and leading her lips to his. There lips collided with perfect precision.
Was it years of yearning that was making James hallucinate? This can't be real. He thought. He was in such a state of shock; he almost didn't open his mouth to kiss her back.
Lily didn't know what was happening, she just knew it felt right; she could fell it in every bone of her body. And she loved this feeling of being so confident in something. Lily took James shoulders and leaned deeper into the kiss.
James kept one hand on Lily's waist while his other was propping him up, keeping Lily from pushing him flat on his back. This kiss was different than any other kiss he had every experienced in his life. This was more than just kissing for the fun of it. He knew there was something behind Lily's kiss driving her to do it, like anger would drive someone to hex an enemy.
Tears streamed down Lily's face more than ever. She could taste their salty flavor hydrating the kiss.
"Lily," James whispered, trying to pull out of the kiss. He had no idea how Lily was doing it, but he was completely out of breath; his chest expanding as his body tried to stuck in precious oxygen.
Lily whimpered as their lips parted. She didn't want to stop. Ever. Her yearning to kiss him grew and she chased his lips as he tried to pull away from her.
James grinned. Like a sad dog whose bone was slowly wearing down from chewing on it so much, Lily didn't want this kiss to slow down and end. Just minutes ago, James had been begging her for attention and now he was getting more than he could ever imagine.
Lily felt James' hand on her shoulders, stopping her from moving closer to kiss him. She looked down, mesmerized by his lips. "Lily?" She raised her eyes to meet his.
Breathing deeply, Lily listened to James speak, "I don't know what happened, but I'm glad you changed your mind." He said. In an almost hypnotic state, Lily again leaned towards James to kiss him again.
"Hang on." James stopped her. "Wait a little longer than I'm all yours."
Lily whimpered again. It was official; she had fallen for the charm of James Potter.
James eyes slowly surveyed her facial features, "Why are you crying?" He asked, brushing away the tears on her face with his hand.
Lily didn't answer him for a while. Instead, she searched his eyes almost as if she were looking for the answer in him.
"Because if you're just doing this because you feel bad for me or because of guilt then maybe-."
Lily shook her head and interrupted him, "This isn't guilt."
"Then why are you crying?"
Lily shrugged, she really wasn't sure herself. "Because I'm happy, I guess."
James smiled. He was satisfied with that answer. "We can get back to kissing now."
Lily chuckled and pressed her lips against his; lost in his captivating charm…
A/N Awww…
Smooth sailing for James and Lily from now on? Don't think so….
I think I'm going to do a couple more chapters of this and then start a sequel. I'm just not sure how far I want to go…Let me know your opinion. I'm either going to stop it when they graduate or before, I just can't decide which.
OMG! I love all of my reviewers! 21 whole reviews for one chapter! Passes out Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Also, if anyone was looking for a fanfic to read, my friend just posted one a couple days ago. It is hilarious! I love it and I wish I could be that good of a writer. Her penname is XxXQueenofHeartsXxX, the story is Go Away Potter. If you need something to do, check it out.
Thanks again to all of my reviewers and I hope you'll review again for this chapter!
Kait
