CHAPTER 26

Tara hated waiting. Being a surgeon, time flew when you were the one with the scalpel in your hand. Being the wife, or the mother in the waiting room was the worst. She swore she looked at the clock and it had ticked backwards.

"Is it supposed to be taking this long?"

Tara looked up from a spot on the floor she had fixated on. "It can anywhere from four to eight hours." She muttered to Gemma, who was waiting in a hospital chair opposite her. "It's only been five."

Five hours, Tara sighed; it felt like five days. As soon as her daughter was taken into the Operating Room the surgeon in her fled. She was just like any mother, worried her daughter might die and trusting in the ability of a doctor to pull her though this.

Jax on the other hand could not sit still. He had been in and out of the waiting room multiple times, even running small errands. He was doing anything to keep his mind off the fact that when his brother had gone in for the same surgery, he did not survive long after.

"Any news?" He appeared again, only popping his head in the door.

"No." Gemma answered, standing and making her way over to him. "But why don't you go and sit with your wife ok?" Jax gave her a nervous look. "This isn't like last time baby. Try to remember that." Gemma gave her son a kiss on the cheek and left the waiting room.

"You don't have to stay Jax. I get it." Tara said. Of course she understood. She was his wife and she knew how much Thomas's death had affected him.

"No, I need to stay." He walked over and sat beside Tara. She immediately leaned against him. She may not have said she needed him, but she really did. She couldn't be the pillar of strength for much longer.

"I love you Jax."

"I love you too baby."

SOASOASOASOASOA

Tara sat, still waiting, but this time in her daughters ICU room and this time without her husband. She had made it out of surgery but she was still on a heart lung bypass machine while her heart healed properly and she was still unconscious. Emily's surgery was a week ago and doctors said if she didn't show signs of improvement soon they may have to look at other options.

Every time the door opened into Emily's room, Tara immediately looked up, thinking that it would be Jackson. But it never was. He had stayed away from the pediatric ICU like it was the plague. This time when Tara looked up it was Gemma. The two of them had taken regular shifts staying with Emily. Tara did not want her daughter being left alone at any time and Gemma and the rest of the club where happy to accommodate her request. A couple of times Tara had come to see Emily and spotted Juice or Happy reading Emily one of her favorite books.

"Hey baby. He still hasn't come by?" Gemma asked.

"No. I get it Gemma, I do; but this is getting ridiculous. He can't ignore this. This is our daughter." Tara said, angry tears filling her eyes. "I mean, with you and I staying here and the guys coming in and out and Donna looking after Abel… its just not working. Jax should be here. Emily would want him to be here." She trailed off.

"I know Tara." Gemma moved to put a comforting arm around Tara's shoulder. "Have you talked to Jackson about any of this?"

"I haven't had the time. Plus, he's been staying at the clubhouse. I know he sees Abel when he's at Donna's but he won't come home." Tara took Emily's still hand. "Emily needs him."

"So do you." Gemma observed. "It's not selfish to want to be with your husband."

"That's not-"

"Yes it is. You're telling me you haven't touched your husband in a week. I get it, trust me. When John and Clay used to go on those long run… I get it." Tara stood there awkwardly. She did love Gemma like a mother but discussing their sex lives was something they had never done. "Listen, I know you were going to spend some time with Abel but go to the clubhouse. Jax is there so just talk to him."

Tara considered Gemma's words. She was right. She did need to talk to Jax and this avoidance was not working for them. And if, god forbid, anything were to happen to Emily and Jax wasn't there, he would never forgive himself. "Yeah, ok. I'm going to go and talk to him."

"Good."

Tara smiled at Gemma and turned to give her sleeping beauty a kiss on the cheek before heading out of the ICU.

SOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOAS OA

FOURTEEN YEARS AGO…

"Who is this in the picture?" Tara asked Jax. After he had saved her from her father after that party, they had continued to hang out on a regular basis. It had been about a month since and he invited her to his house for a family dinner. He assured her that it would be ok with Gemma and that Opie and Donna were coming so she wouldn't be alone. They had currently snuck off to the living room for a bit after a remark by Tig about whether or not Jax was 'hitting that fine piece of ass'. Tara had gotten embarrassed and Jax quickly led her away from the crowd.

"That's my little brother Thomas. He died a while back." Jax said quietly.

Tara turned to him. She felt awful. "I'm so sorry Jax. Umm, how did it happen?"

Normally when someone asked about Thomas Jax would usually change the topic or punch them in the face but he was beginning to realize that Tara genuinely cared. She had no ulterior motives or hidden agenda like some of the girls that he caught pretending to care about him. Tara was different. "You know that scar on my mom's chest?"

How could she not. The woman's tops were lower than hers. "Yes."

"Our family history includes congenital heart defects. My mom had it and my brother. He died shortly after his surgery." Jax was seated on the couch and Tara came over to sit beside him. She leaned her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

Jax couldn't help but pull her closer. Sure she wasn't his girlfriend but he was working on that. "It's ok."

"But you are ok?" She asked, concerned.

"So far so good." They were silent for a while. "He was so weak. Maybe if it had been me I could have pulled through." Jax said.

"Your brothers death was no one's fault. Especially not yours."

"I'm just scared of the future sometimes you know?"

Tara smiled. "We're all scared of the future Jax." She took his hand in hers.

Jax took a deep breath. "You'll make it better." Jax said and as soon as the words left his mouth he realized what a tool he had been.

Now it was Tara's turn to take a deep breath. "I think you'll make mine better too."

END CHAPTER!

Holy crap guys! I'm back! For a little bit, then finals, then I'll be back again.

Hope you like this chapter. I wanted to move things a long a bit that's why I jumped some time.