Chapter 22

Can We Stay Friends?

Disclaimer- Not mine.


Last Chapter...

"Look Juls, I'm sorry about what happened." Tom said to his sister, noticing the obvious signs of distress she wore.

"Forget it." Julia answered, helping herself to a bagel, though she knew she'd never eat it.

"No, I really feel guilty." Tom said, lowering his head.

"You damn well should." Julia answered. "When I agreed that we could do this, you never told me you were going to egg him on."

Tom raised an eye brow at her, "Egg him on?"

Julia nodded, "Yeah, Sirius says you told him to kiss Jacky so she'd shut up and leave."

Tom shook his head, "I never said that."

Julia frowned and studied his facial expression. He looked sincere... "Don't lie to me."

"Why would I lie to you? What did he tell you happened?" Tom asked.

Julia sighed and quickly recounted what Sirius had said to her. "What a bastard." Tom mumbled. "That's not what happened at all."


"It's hard but you did the right thing." James said, sitting down across from Sirius.

Julia frowned, she must have heard that wrong...Sirius spoke next in a voice that sounded like a series of mumbles to Julia. "Julia...annoying...hideous...clingy..."

Julia shook her head and stood up. So that was it. Their whole relationship had just been a lie. And she had been used just like any other girl that goggled over Sirius. She was nothing to him. A sickening feeling in Julia's stomach rose as she silently slipped back into her dorm.

James nodded and Sirius continued. "I really do wish she were one of those. If she were, I would have a reason to hate her. A reason to be glad that she's gone." Sirius shook his head, "But she's not. And I don't know how I'm going to live with myself for this."

"Sirius, she might not know it but you really did what was best. If you hadn't..." He paused, fighting the gripping reality of what could have happened.

"But it just kills me that I can't tell her." Sirius said. "I guess that's what hurts the most." Sirius said, looking down at his hands, completely miserable.


Julia laid in her bed. She had been there since seven the night before until then; ten o'clock in the morning. She could feel her heart being torn into a million pieces and her eyes were sore from her rubbing away the tears. Her stomach let out a loud grumble in protest to the lack of food she had eaten all day but she didn't care. She didn't care about anything at that point. She just wanted to be happy again.

She continued to lay in bed counting the ceiling tiles. Over and over again she counted, getting a different number each time. She had been starring at them so long they started to blend and mix with each other.

Julia groaned and flipped onto her side, her eyes wandering to her night stand. On it sat a full box of chocolates Lily had gotten for her. She hadn't eaten a single one yet, but she was getting awfully hungry. Besides, maybe chocolate could cure her...

She ran her hand over the gold wrapping of the chocolate debating whether she really wanted to eat one or not. Meanwhile, Sirius stood outside the girls' dorm, his hand grazing the wooden door as he paced back in forth in front of it.

Should he go in? He didn't know. He didn't want to upset her anymore than she already was. He let out a slow even sigh and stopped pacing in front of the door. This wasn't fair. None of this was. To either of them or even their friends. It was cruel, evil and harsh. Which Sirius supposed, was the whole point of it.

Julia was still debating whether she could stomach any food at this point when she saw the door knob to the dorm turn slowly. She quickly flipped onto her side, pulling the blankets up to her nose.

Sirius took a step in the door and sighed. She was asleep. He looked over her sleeping form, deciding whether or not to wake her. But he chose the latter, figuring if she had gotten as much sleep as he did last night, that she might need an undisturbed nap.

He turned to leave but stopped again. Picking up a quill and some parchment he found on a bureau, he jotted down a few words. Silently, he left the letter on Julia's night stand on top of the uneaten box of chocolates. Then he left.

Julia opened her eyes just in time to see a figure with black hair leave her room. Sirius. She thought. What was he doing here? You'd think he'd leave me alone already...Julia looked on the nightstand to find the letter he left. She brought it closer to herself and gave a sour laugh after reading it.

Can we stay friends?

Sirius

This had to be some joke. Did Sirius really think that after he tore up Julia's heart they could still remain friends? Julia rolled her eyes and ripped the letter down the middle before sliding it into the top drawer of her nightstand.


The five friends stood in the Great Hall waiting for their class to being. "James!" A voice called out from the crowed. James turned to the voice to see Sirius pushing through a group of girls, who giggled mercilessly as Sirius brushed by them.

"Morning." Sirius greeted and Lily immediately turned away from him, though she still kept a tight grip on James's hand. It was clear that she wanted nothing to do with Sirius and wasn't about to forgive him easily. Or maybe not at all. If only you knew Lily...Thought Sirius.

James shrugged apologetically at his girlfriend's reaction towards Sirius. "Aye. So are you ready for our first apparition class?" He replied.

Remus watched Julia's eyes roam towards Sirius, a look of malice and angry written across her normally tranquil face. The more she thought about the letter he had left her, the angry she got. The nerve of him to think that this was all worth forgetting about...

Julia felt a hand on her shoulder and her brown eyes followed the arm to Remus. Julia tried to force a smile, she knew he was just trying to comfort her, but she couldn't.

She found smiling harder each day. She remembered when she'd smile at everyone; her friends, acquaintances, people she didn't know and even the Slytherins. But at this point, it was like she never knew how to. Julia knew she'd just have to relearn it once she was over a certain black haired boy that shall remain nameless.

"Students, students!" A ministry worker introduced himself as Sir Henry which got a general snort out of the audience of sixth years. He cleared his throat before continuing, in an ever so monotonous voice. "I want you all to get in a straight line. No, no. Horizontally."

A few professors shifted throughout the students, putting them in rows. "Yes Peter, you go there." Professor Sprout said, pointing to a spot adjacent to Peter as she bubbly moved throughout the group. "Then you James. Lily come along, Remus. Now Sirius you're next to Remus." Julia let out a soft groan as she felt Professor Sprout move her up next to Sirius.

The class took off and Julia tried to ignore the fact that Sirius's arm kept grazing hers every time he turned to say something to James. Which he did quite often.

"Alright, now I want all of you to concentrate on the hoop in front of you and remember the three D's. You need to visualize standing there. You need to imagine yourself moving into that hoop." The man said, not appearing to change his facial expression in the least bit.

James snorted and he whispered over Lily, "Hey Remus." Remus looked over at him and James nodded towards Lily, her face distorted into a look of deep concentration. Her brow was furrowed creating deep creases between her eyes and her nose was scrunched up tightly. She appeared to be mumbling to herself as well...

Remus chuckled and Lily cracked open one of her eyes, her concentration now broken. "Are you laughing at me?" She inquired, raising an eyebrow.

"Course not." Remus replied, putting on a look of mock shock. "Why would you think I'd laugh at you?" He said in a sarcastic tone, at which point James added his own quiet chuckle.

"Laugh all you want at me boys." Lily said smugly. "But when I'm the first one to apparate correctly, I'm not going to let you forget it."

"Like you'd let us forget it even if we weren't laughing at you." Remus said, grinning.

Having no clever comeback to that, Lily punched Remus in the arm and replied sarcastically, "Ha ha, very funny."

Sirius laughed at them and turned to Julia, "Hey Juls, I bet you ten galleons that I can apparate before y-." Sirius stopped immediately. He had forgotten. After six years of friendship, he was having trouble remembering it was over. He quickly faced forward again. Stupid, stupid...Sirius repeated over in his head. "Uh never mind." He whispered as he tried to get his mind off what he had just said by listening to Sir...what's-his-face.

Julia's eyes darted to him and though she didn't turn her head, she examined him carefully.

And that's when it seemed to his both of them, right in the pit of their stomachs. There would be no more joking around between them. No more of their petty bets or playing exploding snap. There would be no more trips to the kitchen, no more days spent in Hogsmeade in each others company and no more nights spent talking in the common room. There would be no more sneaking into a broom closet to avoid Tom or skipping classes to be with each other. But what seemed to hurt them the most was there would never be another time when all of the Gryffindor sixth years would hang out together again; with Sirius and Julia broken up, not to mention the fact that Lily hated Sirius and even the fact Sirius was only being honest with one of the Marauders, or at least honest to only one until he got the courage to tell Peter and Remus. As of that point, the group was a mess.

Julia turned to Sirius and opened her mouth to say something. Sirius, aware that she was looking at him, also turned.

"What-Why-?" Julia began but shook her head. She didn't know how to say it, or even what she wanted to say. She was so lost.

"Julia I really have to tell you something." He said, about to explain everything to her. Julia nodded, though she didn't want to hear another one of his excuses.

"Well you see the-." Sirius was on the verge of spilling out everything; Everything that happened and the real reason why he had done what he did. The reason that had drove him to put their relationship on the line.

"Yeah?"

"Uh-." But telling her would be risking everything. And what he was risking seemed more serious and more important than their relationship. Sirius groaned, "Never mind."

Julia let out an annoyed sigh, "Just say it." She said.

Sirius shook his head, "I can't. Sorry."

"Please Sirius."

"Fine." Sirius said, defeated by her determination. "You look nice today, alright?" He made up.

Julia frowned and turned back to the front of the room, her arms crossed over her chest. She had been hoping he might confess that he lied to her about what happened. That Tom didn't egg him on but he had done it on his own. That he had really wanted to kiss Jacky. But apparently she was wrong.


"Lily would you hurry up." James said to Lily who was taking her sweet time getting down the stairs obviously in no rush to go to another Slug Club party.

Lily pouted. "But I don't want to go..." She whined as she took James's hand.

"Then why are we going?" He asked her with a smile. She was the one who had asked him to go in the first place and there seemed no reason to go if Lily didn't want to.

Lily frowned, "Because I promised Slughorn I would go." She confessed.

"Ah," James said. He was silent for a moment before he gasped. "Oh Lily, you look pale." He put a hand up to her forehead and mocked, "You're running a fever." A mischievous smile crossed his face.

Lily grinned, "You're right James, I feel sick." She fake coughed. "Too sick to go to Slug Club..."

James laughed, "I guess we got dressed up for nothing." He said, noting that she was wearing a slimming black dress that enhanced her beautiful figure. And even he had tucked in his shirt.

Lily grinned and replied, "No. We obviously got dressed up because we have a date tonight." She lopped her arm through his as the walked down the hall.

The two decided to sneak out of the castle because there wasn't much to do for a date inside it. This caused another one of their 'Marauder' conversations to start up again. "But how did you know about this passageway?"

"Lils, it's a Marauder's secret remember?" James said.

Lily pouted, "James I want to know."

James shook his head, with a small smile. "You hate Sirius now so there's no way you can be a Marauder. You'd have to lighten up on him if you wanted to be in it."

Lily frowned a bit taken aback, "Do you really think I could forgive him after what he's done to Julia?" She asked him.

James sighed. He wished he could tell Lily what he knew. But he promised Sirius he wouldn't. He didn't know how to answer her because no matter what he said would start some kind of an argument. "Lils please." He whispered, taking Lily's hand as she hopped out of the passageway. "Can't we just forget about that for tonight?" He asked as they maneuvered their way out of the bushes surrounding the passageway outside of the castle.

Lily frowned, "Alright." She agreed, though she was keen against it.

They made their way out of the castle and towards the lake that looked even more enormous in the light of the moon. Hand in hand, James and Lily sat down on the grass silently.

James slipped his arm around Lily's waist and said quietly, "It's easier to forget things around you. I've been trying all day but I just couldn't."

"Julia and Sirius?" She questioned, though she already knew the answer.

James replied with a nod. They were silent again. But not the awkward silence. More of the 'enjoying each others company' silence. James, absentmindedly took Lily's purse and fished through it. He slowly pulled out five sickles.

Before Lily realized what he had done he said, "Why do you have money with you?" He asked, seeing no reason to bring money to Slug Club.

Lily made a small 'O' with her mouth before reaching to take them back. "Just in case." She said, fighting back a blush.

"In case of what?"

"In case something happened." Lily said, not meeting his eyes.

"Five sickles isn't going to buy you much." He argued making Lily sigh.

"I know."

"So why carry it around?" James questioned. There wasn't much, or anything James could think of that one might need money in Hogwarts...

"Will you drop it?" Lily asked, her annoyance showing in her voice. She was digging a hole in her bottom lip with her teeth to keep herself from turning a light shade of red.

"No." Was his simple answer.

Lily groaned. "It was probably left there from our last trip to Hogsmeade." She said, realizing that that was a more plausible solution than having 'Just-In-Case' money.

"So now you're changing your story?" He perused. Lily frowned and let out a louder groan.

"Why do you have to be so persistent?"

"Because I want to know." He answered, running a hand through his hair.

Lily paused a moment before saying, "When is your next quidditch practice?" James opened his mouth to answer but closed it, a sneaky smile crossing his face.

"Clever but not going to work. What is the money for?"

"Why does it matter to you so much?" Lily questioned.

"Because you won't tell me the truth. And if it was worth dropping then you wouldn't act like it was."

Lily raised her eyebrows as she digested what he had said. "You know what they are don't you?" She said slowly, studying his smile. It was his cocky smile. The smile he used when he knew something...

"Yeah but I want you to say it." His smile only grew.

Lily narrowed her eyes at him. "Why?"

"Just say it."

Lily looked down at the coins. She ran her tongue across her bottom lip as she juggled whether to tell him or not. Why shouldn't she tell them? After all, wasn't it James who kept a box filled with her stuff before they started dating. This wasn't nearly as bad...She took a deep breath said quietly, "It's... the money you gave me for the ice cream on our first date." She whispered, silently refusing to look at him.

James looked over her profile. He was barely able to make out the prominent freckles scattered across her nose and cheeks but her emerald eyes shone in the moonlight. He could have sworn she was blushing. Lily turned to his smirking self and said, "Get that stupid look of your face."

"What look?" He asked.

"The look that you're amused by all of this."

"Well I am amused. I knew you liked me but I didn't know you were obsessed." He teased.

Lily frowned and turned her head forward to hide the color rising in her cheeks again. James laughed and continued, "I guess that means we're both obsessed with each other." He joked, pulling out a folded letter from his pocket. He held it out to her and brow furrowed, she took it.

"What is it?" She asked, unfolding the cream colored parchment.

James smiled as he watched her blush deeper at the contents of the letter. She mumbled a shocked exclamation and James explained, "The day you and Julia left my house, I guess you had been in such a rush to pack your things, you left this on the dresser."

Lily couldn't believe it as she stared down at the O+ written on last years report card. He had known. All along. "I don't know what to say..." She whispered. She could feel her heart thudding against her rib cage. All along...

"You don't have to say anything." James replied, pulling her closer to himself. "It speaks for itself."


A/N Sorry that took so long to get out but I've been away for the past week and haven't had much time for writing.

Anyway, thanks again to all my reviewers. Originally, I didn't really like this chapter, but I think it's starting to grow on me.

Please review.

Kait